As riders, we get pretty good at reading our horses. We notice the flick of an ear, the tightening of a muscle, or that quick intake of breath. We step in before fear escalates, giving our horse the reassurance and structure they need to feel safe.
But when it comes to our own fear? We tend to do the exact opposite. We ignore it, fight it, or push ourselves harder until it finally explodes—loud, messy, and usually at the worst possible time.
Here are three of the biggest mistakes riders make when battling fear—and the better way forward.
🐴 Mistake #1: Trying to ignore fear completely
We wouldn’t dream of ignoring a horse who’s anxious and jittery, so why do we expect ourselves to “just push through”? When fear is shoved down, it doesn’t disappear—it builds pressure until it bursts.
We wouldn’t dream of ignoring a horse who’s anxious and jittery, so why do we expect ourselves to “just push through”? When fear is shoved down, it doesn’t disappear—it builds pressure until it bursts.
The shift: Instead of silencing fear, acknowledge it. Treat it like you would your horse’s signals—valuable information about what’s going on. Naming it takes away its power. Use the information to find your calm before continuing.
🐴 Mistake #2: Comparing yourself to other riders
You’ve probably said it before: “She doesn’t get scared—why can’t I be like that?” But comparison is like throwing fuel on fear’s fire. Horses don’t all react the same way, and neither do people. Your fear doesn’t make you less of a rider—it makes you human.
You’ve probably said it before: “She doesn’t get scared—why can’t I be like that?” But comparison is like throwing fuel on fear’s fire. Horses don’t all react the same way, and neither do people. Your fear doesn’t make you less of a rider—it makes you human.
The shift: Focus on your own progress, not someone else’s timeline. Celebrate the quiet victories—mounting without hesitation, breathing deeply in the arena, taking one confident step at a time. Celebration instead of comparison will have your confidence filling up in no time.
🐴 Mistake #3: Jumping ahead too fast
Imagine asking a nervous horse to go from spooking at a leaf to calmly hacking down a busy road in one day. That would backfire, right? Yet we often demand the same of ourselves—rushing into situations we’re not ready for, then feeling crushed when it doesn’t go well.
Imagine asking a nervous horse to go from spooking at a leaf to calmly hacking down a busy road in one day. That would backfire, right? Yet we often demand the same of ourselves—rushing into situations we’re not ready for, then feeling crushed when it doesn’t go well.
The shift: Slow it down. Build layer upon layer of trust, just like you would with your horse. Small, consistent steps create confidence that lasts. Go just to the edge of your comfort zone and take one step, not 20.
Your horse needs patience, compassion, and structure when they’re afraid—and so do you. The next time fear whispers (or shouts), remember: you can choose to respond to yourself with the same care you give your horse. That’s where real confidence begins.
If you would like a little help building your confidence, schedule a Calm-Ride Strategy call and I can help you with planning your next few steps and accomplishing them.
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