Blog Category: Calm

There were 60 of us, sitting in folding chairs in an arena, with horses and ponies running all over the place.  The first couple of people to do an exercise looked like it was very challenging.  There was one pretty gray arab mare that was frazzled.  She looked like she had ADHD and was just freaked out.

My turn came to do an exercise in front of the crowd.  I picked the frazzled gray mare as my partner, I thought we both needed each other.  The first assignment was to have the horse stand still, and for me to walk around the horse.  That horse was all over the place, and it was hard to even get two steps around her before she was off doing something else.  This was all at liberty of course.

The second exercise was to stand still and have the horse walk around us.  My gut reaction, "I CAN'T DO THIS!"  As soon as I had the thought, a feeling came over me, I can do this.  It was an overwhelming whisper, deep inside.  I went to the center of the arena and closed my eyes.  I pictured her going around me and I felt my heart connected to her heart.  I would glance up every once in a while, and there she was, calm, quiet, peaceful, walking around me.  I thought let's see what we can do.  I pictured her coming in closer and she did.  I pictured her going out further and she did.  I pictured her changing directions, and she did.  I pictured her trotting quietly with her head low and she did.

Our exercise was supposed to be 10 minutes, but for 30 minutes, we were there, in the center, connected heart to heart.  The audience was silent.  In their own thoughts of wonder.  The owner of the horse and the practitioners were in shock.

I finally just stopped, and she came to me and pressed her head into my chest, and we just breathed together.  In that moment, I knew for the rest of my life, when I had doubt, I would think of the pretty gray mare and know, "I CAN".

This was the most powerful moment I have ever had in my life.  It was a precious gift from God.

How amazing would it be to have a genie, sitting on your shoulder, and you could say, "I wish for courage" and BAM, you would have all the courage you needed?  Well, anchoring may be the next best thing.  There are a lot of ways to do anchoring and there are a lot of things you can use as an anchor.  This is my favorite process and my favorite anchor system.

I used to be petrified of the Dentist, to the point of passing out in the waiting room to get my teeth cleaned.  After starting to use the Young Living essential oils, I discovered that I could focus all my calm into the smell of Stress Away and then use that when I need calm.  I started on a really peaceful day on the farm, hanging out with the horses in the pasture, just leaning against the fence with them grazing all around me.  The sun was warm and the pretty blue sky and green grass were a nice contrast to the dark bay mares.  In this place of peace, I put stress away on a lava bead bracelet on my right wrist and I just smelled it in.  Over and over for about 30 minutes.  It doesn't have to be this long for sure, but while in a completely calm, peaceful situation, you really want to "Anchor" that calm to that smell.  I redo this part of the process every chance I get to keep it fresh and because I love the peace that it brings to me.

Then, when I start to feel a little stress, sometimes a week before going to the dentist, I have a tool to bring me right back to the feelings of being in that pasture, the pure calm of heaven on earth.

Well, the bonus is, it also works while riding!  I found out that putting a drop of stress away on the bracelet right before I get on, lets me carry that tool with me, and if I even start to have a slight feeling I don't want coming up, I can smell that Stress Away and bring that Genie right back to my shoulder.  I can whisper, I wish for Calm, and BAM, the wish is granted.  I can then be in a mode of calm and trust my horse and enjoy the ride.

On the flipside of that, sometimes, I need to be the LEADER for my horse while riding.  She may be concerned about a tree that has fallen down, or something out of place from the last time.  We might be on a new ride and I need to be there for her and to guide her with my confidence.  I started a new trail that we had not been on before and the entrance was from a very sunny grass trail, through a hole just big enough for us, into a deep dark forest.  When I got to the trail head, my horse was NOT sure that it was a good idea to walk through that hole.  I just kept my leadership and assured her that we would be fine, I would not let anything happen to us and it took a little bit, but she did walk right into that hole.  I could not have done this from a state of fear myself.  When we talk about an Anchor, this is a great example I can focus on to create a Leadership/ Courage Anchor.  I love Thieves essential oil and the story behind the Thieves blend so that is the oil I chose to Anchor courage too.  I use a lava bead bracelet on my left wrist for Courage.  When I have feelings of leadership and courage, I anchor them into that smell of Thieves, every chance I get.

Then, when I am finding fear starting to come up, like facing my horse to that hole in the forest to walk through, I can smell the Thieves and know I will be all right and with my courage, my horses puts her trust in me and off into the forest we go for an amazing cool ride getting out of the heat of summer.  (Here is a link to check out the products I use!)

If you would love to find out more about overcoming fear, I would love to have you join our free Facebook support group, Happy, Courageous, Horses and Riders!

I absolutely LOVE summer, heat, humidity, they agree with me.  But I also use summer heat as an EXCUSE not to ride!!!!

 

Who is with me on this one????  You get all dressed up to go ride, you walk out the door, and you think, maybe later, maybe I will get up earlier, maybe after they eat, maybe after I eat, EVERY EXCUSE in the book, I have used.

 

But what if you look at this differently.  My main reason for not riding is FEAR, I will admit that.  The FEAR of getting hurt! The heat seems like as good a reason as any NOT to ride.  Can I USE HEAT, to my advantage?  

 

 

 

I have been doing this for a few days now with Taika and I have to admit, I am having a BLAST. Every minute spent on her back adds Courage Penny's into the Piggy Bank!  I can feel my confidence growing and it is so simple.  We are developing our partnership!

 

It is hot so she doesn't want to run off or bolt or do anything except stand.  She gets the reward of a nice cool bath after. We find places that are in the shade which pushes me out of my comfort zone and are places I haven't ridden before but it is easy because she wants the shade too.

 

There is some prep involved that I recommend. If it is really hot you can hose off before riding, just make sure you sweat scrap.  I always use my Thieves for Courage and Stress Away for Calm and they really help me!  I wear my FROGG TOGG which has been a HUGE game changer for me (link at the bottom).  I keep a bottle of water right by my grooming area, with my amazing electrolyte stuff to save me from passing out when I get off.  

All of this has made for a GREAT Summer and I know that every foot step I take on the back of a horse, gives me one more penny in my Courage Bank!

 

If you have read this far, you might be interested in joining my FREE SUPPORT GROUP for people searching for their riding Courage!

I also have a bonus for you, 3 Easy Ways to Build Courage with Your Horse!  Click Here To Get the BONUS!

 

I can't get back the days I have missed riding. I can't get back the joy I would have had riding on those days. They are GONE forever. I have been going through a grieving process for those days..... A cleansing......

I have lost hundreds of hours using FEAR as an excuse. I am not going to lie and say it is all ok....it ISN'T.

So, let's really look at fear and what I am going to do differently in the future, and what you can do!

FEAR is ok, it is natural and we should and do feel it! But, the first thing we have to do, is evaluate the FEAR.

What is causing us fear?

1. Is it something we need to do something about immediately. Example: I am afraid when my horse pins her ears at me.....THIS NEEDS IMMEDIATE ACTION.....The horse is communicating with you and you need to have the conversation with the horse. Every case is different, I can't tell you what to do in your particular situation, but I can tell you, your horse is communicating with you, are you listening?

2. Is it something that we are carrying with us from the past? There are things we can DO to get past that. Example: The horse I was riding Flipped over on me, in 2000 because he was bit by a black widow. I have missed HOURS of riding and enjoying my horses because I carried that fear, from the past along with me......it was heavy, it was daunting, and it was IN THE PAST. (See the 3 Snaps exercise reference below!)

Fear should be evaluated, honored, and then either ACT if appropriate as in Number 1, or Let it go as in number 2.....but Don't let it be the excuse you are not enjoying your horses and riding. This will be OUR path to COURAGE...together.....You, me, and our beautiful horses!

What are some things we can do?

1. Coaching session (My FB group did one last week, it Helped tremendously). Join our support community, Finding Courage where we share and learn and grow through our challenges and fears. We even once in a while get a surprise guest to help us out, Like Mindsets Matter with Jazz! (Link will be at the end).

2. Get help with your horse if the fear is associated with your current horse. In my opinion, make sure the help is for YOU to help the horse and the two of you get that help together. I don't like the idea of sending a horse to a trainer because in my experience, Most, not all, issues are communication between you and your horse and that is what needs to be embraced!

3. Ruling out all health issues for you and most importantly, the horse.

4. Use props and techniques that you can learn to help you. I love using oils on me and the horses, for courage and calm. I love the 3 snaps technique (More information a little further down). I love pretending to be my favorite trainer. Different things work for different people. I was given advice to Sing when I get nervous. When I tried that one, my horse stopped, pinned her ears, and tried to bite my foot.....guess that wasn't for me.....but the point is, find things to help you. I wrote 3 snippets about this which you can get at the end of this blog, so keep reading!

Summary of the story, Don't let fear be an excuse to keep you from riding your horse if it is something that happened in the past or you are afraid will happen in the future.

Here are some changes I have MADE!

I rode Run Binky Run, today, May 24th, 2020. She came home in Oct, 2018, and I used FEAR from the day she got here until now, NOT to get on her....She was a DREAM, so relaxed and amazing to ride. I rode Michelle's Fault today. Her 4th ride since arriving off the track, Dec. 30th, 2019 and the first since Jan. 6th. No lunging for either one, no fuss, no fear....just brushed, tacked up and got on and rode! So much freedom, So much Calm, So much Courage! and the best....SO MUCH JOY!

Here is a little summary of the coaching we had in the FINDING COURAGE FB group.....

We had an AMAZING Group coaching call, with Jazz, at Mindsets Matter in my Finding Courage, support community. She helped four of us, work through our FEAR. She helped each of us look at it and FEEL it. She helped each of us go through a process, that fit our specifics, to process that fear into LOVE. For me, the connection I have had to the accident in 2000, was SEVERED....not fixed, not released, but sent back to heaven with my Thank you for all that it has served me to be turned back into divine love. The process was beautiful, crazy, intense, and a huge SHIFT in my very center.

This wasn't what I expected, I have been through a lot of counseling and work after the horse flipped on me, but it was on a cellular level and it was VERY GOOD. If you ever have a need to work through fear, consider having Jazz help you, JUMP ON IT, click here to contact Jazz!! (Ask her to give you the 3 Snaps Technique, HUGE).

My favorite quote from Jazz during the session: Forgiveness is the KEY, Love is the ANSWER.

This did lead to some GRIEVING.....for the fear...it is gone, it is now love, but...IT IS NO LONGER AN EXCUSE! COURAGE ON my friends! Courage on.

If you read this far, you deserve a bonus.....Click here to get my Snippets, 3 Easy Ways to build Courage with your horse.