That first day I jumped 1.2M was exhilarating and terrifying.
We had a small jump leading up to the big one, and just looking at it made my stomach do flip-flops. My horse had jumped much bigger fences before, but this was a first for me. I remember all the thoughts racing through my mind: I could just get off and say I have a headache or feel nauseous. I knew my trainer would see right through it and make me do it anyway, so I kept those thoughts to myself.
I did jump the fence, and it felt like flying. I learned a lot about anxiety, fear, and doing it anyway. I also learned the importance of preparation. We’ve all done something spur-of-the-moment and realized we weren’t quite as ready as we should have been. Overcoming anxiety in the saddle is no different.
Here are three things you can do before you ever put your butt in the saddle:
1. Have the right equipment. I had a saddle that wasn’t built for jumping 1.2M fences, and it was clear I needed a new one. Proper equipment for your safety and comfort can significantly reduce anxiety.
2. Know your horse is ready. Is your horse calm while tacking up and at the mounting block? Are you calm? (If you’d like a copy of my pre-ride checklist for horse and rider, CLICK HERE!)
3. Have a plan for emergencies. Will you dismount or stay on? Are you prepared for a buck, rear, spook, or bolt? Know what you’ll do in each situation.
Here are four things you can do while riding:
1. Stay stable in the saddle. I love the 80/20 rule from Alicia Dickenson: 80% of your weight should be in the stirrup (like standing on the ground), with 20% in the rest of your legs and seat. Practice this as you ride.
2. Exhale. Exhaling helps release anxiety. Picture a Ferris wheel or waves at the beach as you breathe in and out. Holding your breath only increases tension, so focus on breathing through your anxiety.
3. Have a plan. Plans can change, but at least know what you want to do before you ride. The unknown can ramp up anxiety.
4. Focus 100 feet ahead. Don’t worry about what’s closer. Stay focused on where you're going so your horse knows the journey's direction.
If you would like to have some fun overcoming anxiety, saving up courage pennies is a fun way to do it. You can get my free eBook, The Ultimate Guide to Courage Pennies!
The sun was shining, and a chill in the air made the November morning feel invigorating. It was my first ride back after my accident, and I was filled with excitement. But as I prepared my horse, little doubts began to creep in. My breathing became shallow, and my palms grew sweaty. These feelings, which replaced my excitement, bothered me for many reasons. Upon reflection, I realized that not only did I lack a solid safety net, but I didn’t have one at all. Looking around at my riding friends, I noticed a similar trend—there wasn’t much in the way of safety nets. We often rode with a hope of staying safe rather than a plan to ensure it. In a sport that requires so little safety equipment, especially outside of competition, I wondered: why not build our own safety net?
Here are my three tips for creating a great safety net for riding:
1. Pre-Ride Checklists: I often felt scattered and lacked a systematic approach to ensure both my horse and I were ready to ride. Creating a checklist transformed my preparation routine. Now, I write down my plan and check off each item. This simple practice boosts my confidence, knowing I’ve covered all the essentials. (You can grab a copy of mine here!)
2. Know Your Response Plan: Anticipate your main fears—whether it’s rearing, bucking, bolting, or something else—and develop a clear plan for each. Practicing these responses until they feel second nature can significantly enhance your confidence and reduce anxiety.
3. Invest in Safety Gear: Wearing the right safety equipment is crucial. I always wear my helmet which I love, (check it out here), and either a life vest or riding vest, along with appropriate pants and boots. Recently, I added a double connect neck strap to help me feel more secure while riding. Discover what safety measures work for you, as everyone’s needs are different.
Your blog conveys a powerful and inspiring message! Here’s a revised version that enhances clarity and flow:
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There I was, in front of 60 people in an arena, with loose horses galloping around me. My task? Get one of these horses to stand still while I walked around them. It felt like pure chaos, and I couldn’t fathom how I would succeed. Sure enough, none of the horses managed to stand still.
The second assignment was to stand still myself while a horse walked around me. Doubts crept in, and I remembered Henry Ford’s quote: “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.” In that moment, everything shifted. I stood perfectly still, closed my eyes, and centered myself.
Then, I noticed a frightened gray Arabian mare. She paused, drawn to my calm presence amid the chaos. Visualizing her walking around me, I simply watched as she began to move. I imagined her changing directions, coming closer or stepping back, all while maintaining my stillness. In that moment, I realized I could do anything.
Like many of you, I’ve often been my own worst enemy, doubting my abilities. Thoughts like “I can’t earn more money” or “I can’t make my spouse happy” can be overwhelming. We often fall into the trap of “I can’t.”
But when we embrace the power of “I CAN,” everything changes. That beautiful gray mare reminded me of my own potential, and I encourage you to find your “gray mare”—that symbol or experience that affirms, “YOU CAN.”
There’s another side to this story. The mare was headed for a difficult fate because no one could connect with her. She was in the final stages of training, and if it didn’t work out, she would be lost. For 30 minutes, we danced together. When the trainer finally saw her calm and confident, he recognized her worth and placed her in an amazing home. That day, she learned that “SHE CAN!” too.
So, take small steps every day toward your dreams and goals. Start believing that you can achieve anything, and you will become the person you were always meant to be.
I talk more about calm power in my latest podcast which you can listen too here: "Turn Riding Fear Around"
I had heard the phrase - "Ask a stallion, tell a gelding, negotiate with a mare!" and it really has been helping me think about ways we communicate with our horses. The key principle with this phrase for me is that we need to listen to our horses and adjust our communication for them. The phrase lumps everyone together and we can take a little from each one to become better communicators.
I was timid when I brought Binky home. She was super aggressive, and I shrunk from her. She bit me in the middle of the back and kicked my other horse, Taika, over on top of me TWICE. Not only did I not negotiate with her, but I also didn't tell her or ask her. I let her run the show. She had been through an extremely stressful life and was frantic for normalcy.
When I stepped back and really listened to her, I heard her fear. I felt her fear. I saw how desperate she was for a leader, someone to take charge and let her know she was safe. It was a wakeup call for me. I had to step into that which I feared, COURAGE, leadership, and caregiver. Caring for her emotionally as much as physically.
Because I listened to her, and really heard her, our relationship changed, and I grew in leaps and bounds. I had to step into power.
Our relationship transformed as I visualized myself as a mountain lion—not for her sake, but for my own empowerment. I set food out in the pasture and used a flag to communicate my presence, mimicking the behaviors of a protective leader. In time, Binky relaxed and became the sweetest horse. She no longer felt the need to guard herself; she allowed me to lead and keep her safe.
Remember, sometimes you must be firm—not cruel—to gain their trust and foster a deep bond.
I share more on my thoughts about this in my latest Podcast you can find on most podcast platforms or click here.
In December 2019, I embarked on a mission to cleanse my life of toxins. The results were remarkable. I transitioned from experiencing hot flashes every 5-10 minutes to having none at all. Night sweats, which had plagued me nightly, vanished. I felt rejuvenated. At the same time, I was caring for a horse with liver issues, and I was advised to remove all toxins from her environment to aid her recovery. The transformation was astounding. My horse, once aggressive and unpredictable, became gentle and affectionate. Even my equine chiropractor noticed the remarkable change in behavior, comparing her newfound calmness to that of geldings.
Maintaining a toxin-free environment had become a routine for us, ensuring our well-being and harmony. However, an eye-opening experience made me realize just how significant this change was. During a routine clean-up, I stumbled upon six jars of SWAT, an insect repellent I had previously used. Despite my better judgment, I decided to use them for the summer instead of sticking to my newly established, toxin-free practices.
The results were almost instantaneous. Within 24 hours, I began to experience hot flashes and night sweats again. The mares, who had previously been calm and cooperative, suddenly reverted to their aggressive, territorial behavior. The peaceful farm atmosphere quickly descended into chaos, with tensions rising and tempers flaring. It took me another few days to figure out what was going on while we all suffered.
This unexpected turmoil drove home a powerful lesson: even seemingly small toxins can have significant impacts on our health and the well-being of those around us. The experience reaffirmed my commitment to maintaining a toxin-free lifestyle, proving that the changes I had made were not just beneficial but essential for harmony and health.
I challenge you to start going through the ingredients before replacing something and look up the ingredients. See what is in the product you are using and what you are using on your horses too. Just start switching stuff out as you go. You will be amazing on the tranquility that descends on your farm.
I talk more about this on my latest podcast if you would like to listen to it. TURN RIDING FEAR AROUND.
