The fear sat around stewing in my head like it belonged there after my accident.
It replayed itself in high definition. Over and over. The fall. The moment everything changed. I couldn’t stop seeing it—feeling it—like my brain had decided it was the most important event of my life.
Someone once told me that we only remember 8 or 9 bits of data out of the millions that happen in any moment.
And when I heard that, I paused.
Because if my brain was only going to remember a few bits… why did it have to be the worst ones?
Why not choose better memory bits?
Why not turn the memory into something useful… or even funny?
I started imagining the whole thing like a Saturday morning cartoon.
ACME-style.
Wile E. Coyote. Foghorn Leghorn. Bugs Bunny.
Maybe I flew through the air with a comically long whistle. Maybe a puff of dust where I hit the ground. Maybe I stood up, hair frazzled, holding a crooked sign that said, “Well, that escalated quickly!”
ACME-style.
Wile E. Coyote. Foghorn Leghorn. Bugs Bunny.
Maybe I flew through the air with a comically long whistle. Maybe a puff of dust where I hit the ground. Maybe I stood up, hair frazzled, holding a crooked sign that said, “Well, that escalated quickly!”
And I laughed.
That laughter cracked something open.
The grip fear had on me loosened.
The grip fear had on me loosened.
Because I wasn’t stuck inside the memory anymore—I was re-authoring it.
Falling Off Hurts — But It Doesn’t Get to Write Your Future
3 Steps to Regain Confidence After a Fall
Step 1: Acknowledge What Happened Without Letting It Define You
Don’t minimize it. Don’t dramatize it. Just say it like it is:
“I fell. It scared me. But I’m still here. And I’m choosing to heal.”
Your brain wants resolution. It wants safety. And naming the truth without judgment is step one.
Step 2: Choose Better Bits (Yes, Even the Funny Ones)
You get to choose what parts of the memory stay active.
Was your horse already apologizing with their eyes?
Did you land in a way that made you look like a lawn dart?
Can you picture Bugs Bunny calmly munching a carrot nearby?
Was your horse already apologizing with their eyes?
Did you land in a way that made you look like a lawn dart?
Can you picture Bugs Bunny calmly munching a carrot nearby?
Let your imagination play with it.
Laughter rewires fear. It creates safety. It gives you back your power.
Step 3: Rebuild With Repetition and Momentum
Start small. Groom your horse. Breathe next to them. Go for a short walk.
Then ride at the walk. Then the trot. No pressure. Just presence.
Then ride at the walk. Then the trot. No pressure. Just presence.
Confidence isn’t built by pretending you’re not afraid.
It’s built by proving—bit by bit—that you’re safe again.
It’s built by proving—bit by bit—that you’re safe again.
And each small success?
Another bit worth remembering.
You’re Not Broken — You’re Becoming
You don’t have to go back to who you were.
You can become someone wiser. Stronger. Kinder to yourself.
You can become someone wiser. Stronger. Kinder to yourself.
And if you need help choosing the better bits?
Let’s talk. Book your free Calm-Ride Strategy Call and let’s create your new story—one built on courage, joy, and maybe a little bit of Bugs Bunny. 🥕
When the fear took hold after my accident, I felt so lost and alone. Nobody understood my fear—especially me.
I had always been the fearless kid.
The courageous one getting all of us into trouble.
The one who rode alone in the Angeles National Forest before school.
The courageous one getting all of us into trouble.
The one who rode alone in the Angeles National Forest before school.
So how could this fear have come over me?
And more importantly—why was it holding me hostage?
And more importantly—why was it holding me hostage?
Could I get my courage back?
And if so, how?
And if so, how?
These are the questions we ask ourselves when we’re sitting alone with our fear.
Our friends tell us to “just get on and ride.”
Or worse: “Show that horse who’s boss.”
Or worse: “Show that horse who’s boss.”
But it’s not that simple.
Because fear rewires the nervous system. It can strip away confidence that once came so naturally. And when that happens, we begin to wonder if we’ll ever feel brave again.
Here’s what I want you to know:
Even in our deepest fear, we can learn courage.
We can turn back the clock and reclaim the confidence that feels so far away.
We can turn back the clock and reclaim the confidence that feels so far away.
Maybe our courage was genetic at first. But once it’s been shaken—or taken—we absolutely can rebuild it.
So how do we get it back?
Step One: Make the decision to get it back.
This might sound too simple, but it’s the key.
When you decide—really decide—that you’re ready to reclaim your courage, doors begin to open. The right people, tools, and solutions start showing up.
This might sound too simple, but it’s the key.
When you decide—really decide—that you’re ready to reclaim your courage, doors begin to open. The right people, tools, and solutions start showing up.
Step Two: Make the plan.
How will you get it back?
For me, it was a long road: preparation, knowledge, experience, therapy.
But there are faster ways too—like a reset hypnotherapy session or a tailored NLP session to help your mind and body recalibrate after an accident.
How will you get it back?
For me, it was a long road: preparation, knowledge, experience, therapy.
But there are faster ways too—like a reset hypnotherapy session or a tailored NLP session to help your mind and body recalibrate after an accident.
Step Three: Take the first step—and keep going.
This one is critical. Courage grows with momentum.
The more you move, the more confidence you build.
The more confidence you build, the more freedom you feel.
This one is critical. Courage grows with momentum.
The more you move, the more confidence you build.
The more confidence you build, the more freedom you feel.
You can do this.
You don’t have to stay stuck.
You don’t have to stay afraid.
These three steps are how I found my way back into the saddle—and they can help you do the same.
If you're ready to take that first step, let's talk. Book a free Calm-Ride Strategy Call and let’s start building your personalized courage comeback.
My accident lasted 60 seconds.
That was it.
That was it.
But I spent hours—many, many hours—replaying those 60 seconds in my mind. I was stuck. Fixated on the rearview mirror.
Have you ever caught yourself looking back a little too long?
(Or maybe a lot too long?)
(Or maybe a lot too long?)
Whether it's in life or in the saddle, we all drift into the past sometimes—mistakes, regrets, or just how things used to be. And while a quick glance back can be helpful, if you stare too long, you miss what’s ahead.
It’s like driving. You have a destination in mind. You’re enjoying the journey.
But if you're constantly checking the rearview mirror?
You miss what’s in front of you.
Worse—you might crash.
But if you're constantly checking the rearview mirror?
You miss what’s in front of you.
Worse—you might crash.
The same thing happens in our riding lives. I’ve worked with so many riders stuck in a loop of looking back—accidents, scary moments, or just that heavy fear that it could all go wrong again. I get it. I was that rider too.
But here’s the truth:
Your future is created by what you do now—not by what happened back then.
Your future is created by what you do now—not by what happened back then.
Your past can inform you, but it doesn’t get to author what comes next.
When I finally stopped obsessing over what had gone wrong—every fall, every bad ride, every haunting what if—that’s when things started to shift. I began to ride toward the future I wanted to enjoy, not the one I feared.
Just like on a trail ride, you may glance back now and then. But then you return your focus to the path ahead—the beauty around you, the destination that’s calling your name.
So what does the trail ahead look like for you?
Maybe it’s riding with joy again.
Maybe it’s just getting back in the saddle without that knot in your stomach.
Maybe it’s finally trusting yourself—and your horse.
Maybe it’s just getting back in the saddle without that knot in your stomach.
Maybe it’s finally trusting yourself—and your horse.
Whatever it is, don’t let the rearview hold you back.
Glance if you need to.
Then bring your eyes forward.
The trail ahead is waiting.
Glance if you need to.
Then bring your eyes forward.
The trail ahead is waiting.
If you’d like a little help designing that path in front of you, book a free Calm-Ride Strategy Call. Let’s create your roadmap to riding with confidence again.
I spent years getting myself ready.
Getting my horse ready.
Preparing all the details.
And still... I wasn’t riding out of the arena.
Getting my horse ready.
Preparing all the details.
And still... I wasn’t riding out of the arena.
What I didn’t realize was that the one tiny thing that would change everything was also the simplest:
I took action.
I got on and rode four steps.
That’s it. Just four.
But those four steps were like magic.
I celebrated. I smiled for a week.
And the next time? I looked forward to four more.
I celebrated. I smiled for a week.
And the next time? I looked forward to four more.
That simple, tiny action changed everything.
Momentum had begun.
Momentum had begun.
Try These Tiny Shifts to Create Big Riding Momentum:
Take Four Steps
This one’s my favorite—and for good reason.
Get on and ride four steps. Then pause.
Ask yourself:
This one’s my favorite—and for good reason.
Get on and ride four steps. Then pause.
Ask yourself:
- Do I want to take four more?
- Turn around and go back?
- Or just get off and celebrate?
On my very first four steps, I chose to get off. And I still count that as a HUGE win.
Because the action—not the distance—is what creates momentum.
Because the action—not the distance—is what creates momentum.
Make a Comfort Zone Plan
Define your edge—not someone else’s.
What feels just slightly stretchy but not scary?
That’s your zone. Make a plan that brings you to the edge—not over it.
Then stop there. Smile. Celebrate. You just moved forward.
Define your edge—not someone else’s.
What feels just slightly stretchy but not scary?
That’s your zone. Make a plan that brings you to the edge—not over it.
Then stop there. Smile. Celebrate. You just moved forward.
Too often, we think we have to leap to grow.
But the truth is, confidence is built in small, do-able steps that feel like yours.
But the truth is, confidence is built in small, do-able steps that feel like yours.
There is plenty of time to go to the edge again and again and when you are ready, these little actions you have been building up, will make going over the edge, expanding your comfort zone, easier and you will have momentum behind you!
So many times we don't see our comfort zone, or our path to momentum and that is where I can help out. Set up a quick (free) calm-ride strategy call and let's see if we can get your momentum moving again.
Your blog draft is heartfelt, relatable, and powerful—you're drawing a strong parallel between personal growth, horsemanship, and leadership. It’s very “you,” which is great for connection. With just a few tweaks for clarity, flow, and polish (without losing your voice), here's a refined version that will hit even harder:
The Power of Matching Energy: A Lesson from Horses and Humans
I had a HUGE aha moment this week during a book club review with some expert hypnotherapists. I was asking about a challenge I faced during a call—someone completely took over the conversation, and I kept quietly trying to interject and calm her down.
The feedback I got stopped me in my tracks:
“You can’t gently interrupt. You have to match her energy or she’ll never hear you.”
WHOA.
They weren’t saying I needed to be mean. They were saying I needed to rise to her level. Raise my tone, raise my presence, and take charge of the space.
And immediately, I thought: This is exactly like working with our horses.
If a horse is ignoring you—like mine used to when I asked her to turn left—soft whispers won’t do a thing. She needed clarity. Direction. Presence. Not pressure, not punishment, but energy that matched hers enough to be heard.
And here's the kicker… I was whispering because I was afraid of making a mistake.
Afraid of doing it wrong. Afraid of being too strong.
Afraid of doing it wrong. Afraid of being too strong.
But our horses don’t follow whispers.
They follow leadership. (Sometimes that is a whisper, sometimes, that is a shout!)
They follow leadership. (Sometimes that is a whisper, sometimes, that is a shout!)
Sometimes, those of us who are naturally soft and careful—trying so hard to do it right—end up creating the very confusion we’re trying to avoid. But that’s something we can fix.
Don’t be afraid to make mistakes.
Here are my top 3 tips for not letting fear of mistakes take the reins:
1. Mistakes can be fixed.
My lead mare might pin her ears one time and swing her butt the next. Either way, the other horses move. Neither was “wrong”—it was communication. She doesn’t sit there worrying, “Oh no, was that too rough?” She communicates clearly.
You can too.
If you're a little too strong with your horse, adjust the next time. But don’t be afraid to be firm first—that’s how they know you mean it.
My lead mare might pin her ears one time and swing her butt the next. Either way, the other horses move. Neither was “wrong”—it was communication. She doesn’t sit there worrying, “Oh no, was that too rough?” She communicates clearly.
You can too.
If you're a little too strong with your horse, adjust the next time. But don’t be afraid to be firm first—that’s how they know you mean it.
2. Never question your leadership.
Be the unapologetic leader your horse needs.
Set clear rules. Be consistent. And most importantly, feel that leadership inside you.
When you trust yourself, there's no space for fear—and if you do make a mistake, you know you can fix it.
Be the unapologetic leader your horse needs.
Set clear rules. Be consistent. And most importantly, feel that leadership inside you.
When you trust yourself, there's no space for fear—and if you do make a mistake, you know you can fix it.
3. Learn from every mistake.
Every ride is a lesson.
You will make mistakes. That’s not failure—that’s feedback.
Plan for mistakes. Expect them. Then learn and adjust.
The fear fades when you realize you’re always able to repair, reset, and keep growing.
Every ride is a lesson.
You will make mistakes. That’s not failure—that’s feedback.
Plan for mistakes. Expect them. Then learn and adjust.
The fear fades when you realize you’re always able to repair, reset, and keep growing.
You don’t have to get it perfect. You just have to show up with presence, clarity, and a willingness to lead—even if it’s messy at first. That’s the energy your horse will respond to. And honestly? So will the rest of your life!
Ready to stop whispering and start leading in the saddle?
Let’s work through your fear together. Book a free Calm-Ride Strategy Call and get a clear plan to ride with confidence again.
Let’s work through your fear together. Book a free Calm-Ride Strategy Call and get a clear plan to ride with confidence again.
