As I was polishing my boots and cleaning my tack, the nausea was taking over, the debilitating fear was building and building fast. Here I was, paying thousands of dollars to compete, and feeling like it was a disaster of epic proportions. Like many of you, when my mind spiraled into a whirlwind of anxiety, it felt like everything was working against me.
I believe we can harness that very energy and transform it into a force that propels us forward. It starts with understanding our body's response and learning how to manage our response to turn those nerves into your biggest ally.
In our latest podcast episode, "Nervous System Takeover" we explored the fascinating connection between physical sensations and mental states. We discussed how tension in the body fuels anxiety in the mind, the similarities between excitement and nervousness, and how "what ifs" can trigger shallow breathing and a freeze response. This blog post delves deeper into these concepts, offering practical tips to help you master your mind and harness anxiety as a powerful tool.
Understanding the Nervous System
- Flight, Fight, or Freeze Response: We are no different than our horses in so many ways. When our anxiety starts to build, we may just want to run away, push through anyway, or just stay stuck. This is our cue to do something different. It is time to take some deep breaths, reframe the situation into something positive, and bring us back to enjoying what we are doing, right now in this moment, just like we would do with our horses.
Turning Anxiety into Excitement
- Reframing Nervousness: We can change the feelings of stress and anxiety, to feelings of excitement, just like when we were little and found out we were going to Disneyland. Our mind can reinterpret nerves into excitement. Think about the trigger of anxiety and find one thing you look forward to. Close your eyes and visualize growing bigger, filling you up, and replacing the anxiety—until you can feel the excitement taking over.
The Power of Awareness
- Identifying Triggers: I love this one. It is so simple and very powerful. When you think about what causes you anxiety, figure out the very first thought that you have that starts that anxiety building. That is the trigger. Reframe that very first step. Example: When my horse lifts her head, that was my trigger thinking she would rear. I reframed it so that when she lifts her head, she is being curious, and I can play with her curiosity. It felt so much better to think of the reframe and I have enjoyed her lifting her head since then.
By understanding your nervous system and learning to manage your body's response, you can transform anxiety into a powerful ally. Instead of letting your nerves control you, harness that energy to propel you forward and achieve your goals. To really get some help with transforming your anxiety, I would love to chat with you about our Courage Coaching program which will walk you through each step. Schedule here!
As I was building my confidence back after my accident, I realized how much anxiety and confidence are intertwined. I would get on and ride and feel so good and then my horse would spook at a deer, and I would have anxiety flood back in again. The two danced back and forth like doing the Tango! The one thing it forced me to realize is that I could not give up on gaining confidence. I had to keep working through the anxiety to get the confidence back or I was going to lose my joy for riding, forever.
Here are my top three tips for playing with this balance and helping Confidence get the upper hand:
Self-Discovery - Recognize Your Unique Strengths
What makes you unique? Understand and embrace your strengths. It’s time to shine a spotlight on your skills. Take a few moments and actually put pen to paper and write down your skills, the things about you that allow you to accomplish your goals and enjoy your life. This will help you see where confidence plays a role in your life.
Mastery - The Path to Excellence
How did you become skilled? Reflect on your journey, the hours of practice, and the dedication that got you here. It didn't happen overnight. It was a journey, a journey worth celebrating!
Confidence - Thriving Beyond Doubt
Take steps even when anxiety is present. It isn't always easy but it is extremely rewarding. By taking a few steps, in spite of the anxiety, you are showing your mind that you are worthy of confidence. The focus on taking the steps will help to bring more confidence along for the next time anxiety starts to creep in. Embrace your fears, and let’s turn them into steppingstones towards your success.
Ready for a deeper dive into overcoming riding fears? Let's have a complimentary chat and see if a hypnotherapy session could help you gain confidence and shrink the anxiety much faster than traditional techniques!
After my accident, self-doubt hit me harder than the fall itself. It wasn’t just about riding—I started questioning everything. How did I miss the warning signs? Could I really do my job? Start a business? That small seed of doubt grew, creeping into areas of my life I had never questioned before.
Sound familiar? Many of us experience moments of self-doubt that, if left unchecked, take root and spread. But here’s the thing: challenges like self-doubt aren’t meant to break us. They’re meant to shape us. If we shift our perspective, we can use them to grow into who we’re meant to be.
How to Turn Self-Doubt into Confidence
🐴 Recognize & Thank the Doubt
Instead of fighting self-doubt, acknowledge it. Why is this here? What is it trying to teach me? When you express gratitude for doubt, it loses its grip. Instead of feeling like an enemy, it becomes a stepping stone toward growth.
Instead of fighting self-doubt, acknowledge it. Why is this here? What is it trying to teach me? When you express gratitude for doubt, it loses its grip. Instead of feeling like an enemy, it becomes a stepping stone toward growth.
🐴 Take Opposite Action
Self-doubt says, You’re not ready. Flip it! If I doubted my horse was ready for me to get on, I created a checklist—just like a pilot before flying a plane. Having clear steps transformed fear into certainty. Create your own checklist to counteract your self-doubt.
Self-doubt says, You’re not ready. Flip it! If I doubted my horse was ready for me to get on, I created a checklist—just like a pilot before flying a plane. Having clear steps transformed fear into certainty. Create your own checklist to counteract your self-doubt.
🐴 Stack Your Confidence
Each small win builds confidence. Once I tackled my checklist, I added more tools: a helmet, a vest, a grab strap—layers of confidence, like wrapping up in Charmin! (Because who doesn’t want that extra cushion of security? 😆)
Each small win builds confidence. Once I tackled my checklist, I added more tools: a helmet, a vest, a grab strap—layers of confidence, like wrapping up in Charmin! (Because who doesn’t want that extra cushion of security? 😆)
Self-doubt doesn’t mean you’re not capable. It’s an opportunity to step up and prove to yourself just how capable you really are. The question is: What’s one action you can take today to turn doubt into confidence?
Want to replace self-doubt with confidence? Grab my Pre-Ride Confidence Checklist—a simple guide to ensure both you and your horse are ready to ride. Download it here!
It was a simple Christmas party that I had a few people coming over for. It was not my choice. I would have avoided it if it had not been my husband's kids. I started to think, why would I have avoided a simple dinner party with just a few people. I realized, I was afraid of being afraid. I was afraid of things going wrong, but more than that, I was afraid to relax and enjoy the evening. I had developed a fear of fear, and it led me to almost becoming a recluse.
Fear is a natural response, meant to protect us from harm. But what happens when fear itself becomes the thing we fear most? Many people get stuck in a cycle where they aren’t just afraid of a situation—they’re afraid of feeling afraid.
This builds a fear of becoming afraid and shuts us down before we even try.
Fear triggers a physiological response—racing heart, shallow breathing, tense muscles. When we experience this repeatedly, our minds begin associating fear itself with danger. We start avoiding anything that could bring up that dreaded feeling, even if the situation itself isn’t truly harmful.
For example, if you've had a bad fall while horseback riding, you may not only fear riding again—you might start fearing the nervousness that comes with getting back in the saddle. The fear of fear becomes bigger than the fear of falling itself.
Breaking Free from the Fear of Fear
1. Recognize the Pattern
The first step is awareness. Acknowledge that you’re not just afraid of an experience—you’re afraid of how fear feels. This realization alone can give you some power back.
2. Shift Your Perspective on Fear
Instead of seeing fear as a threat, reframe it as a signal. Fear is just your body’s way of preparing you for action. What if, instead of resisting it, you allowed yourself to feel it without judgment?
3. Expose Yourself Gradually
Confidence isn’t built by avoiding fear—it’s built by facing it in small, manageable steps. If riding again feels overwhelming, start by spending time around horses, then progress at your own pace.
4. Use Your Breath
Fear tightens the body, but deep, intentional breathing can release that tension. Try inhaling for four counts, holding for four, and exhaling for six. This helps signal safety to your nervous system. As you exhale, picture the fear and anxiety flowing out of you, out your breath, out your fingers and your toes. As you inhale, feel confidence filling you up.
5. Fill Up with Courage
Fear loses its grip when you actively focus on courage. Picture yourself succeeding. Remind yourself of past moments when you have overcome fear. The more you fill up with courage, the less room fear has to take over.
Confidence Comes from Action
You don’t need to wait for fear to disappear to take action. True confidence comes from moving forward with fear, proving to yourself that you can handle it. When you stop fearing fear, you free yourself to step into the courageous, confident person you’re meant to be.
I can help you explore breaking free from anxiety and stepping into calm. Book your free chat now and take the first step toward finding your calm. I have helped clients with both courage coaching and hypnotherapy to overcome their anxiety and enjoy life again. Schedule your free chat here!
My horse started to spook my response was to fold up into myself, like a folding chair, with all the fear gripping my stomach and shutting down my brain. Holding my breath while I panicked. Nothing happened but I was a wreck emotionally and physically. This was all my mind. Causing me to feel fear through my body. I have also had the experience of just sitting up a little taller, like a high backed chair, and boy, my confidence in my mind blossoms with just a slight shift in my posture.
These are just simple examples of how intertwined our mind and our body are. The connection goes both ways and is powerful, either for fear or for confidence and courage. The great news is we can learn to play with both sides of this, the mind and the body and use that to overcome imaginary and perceived fear. Real fear is important and we need but the other two, not so much.
Here are a few things you can do to play with this and learn how to control the mind-body connection.
1. Just check in with your body and see how you are feeling. Curl your shoulders forward like you are curling up into a fetal position and feel how that changes your confidence. Then straighten your shoulders and posture and see how different that feels.
2. Think about being a knight with an amazing sword and shield to overcome all battles. How does that feel in your body? Did you sit up a tiny bit straighter?
3. Visualize breathing in light and love and exhaling anxiety and fear. Do this for 5-10 breaths and see how you feel and if it has changed from where you started.
There’s so much more to explore about the mind-body connection, and I have a free guide on 7 days to mindfulness. Click Here if you would like a copy!
