I was in the middle of a figure eight when I stopped, right there where the two circles join. The feelings of anxiety, work, chores, overwhelm all piled up on me at once. When I got on my horse, I had 10 things all lined up to work on. Backing, moving the shoulders right and left, moving the haunches right and left, etc. Just writing this, I can feel my stress rising and those feelings of overwhelm creeping in. Like many of you, we focus on all the "DOING" that we think needs to be completed to move on to the next steps.
As I stopped, right there in the middle of the figure eight, I felt the "PAUSE". I felt it through me, through my horse, all the tension drained away into the ground. We both took some deep breaths together and just leaned into each other, feeling our feelings. I know this sounds a little nuts, but it was very powerful. The power in this pause lasted for a few minutes. There was no rush to carry on with the figure eight. There was no rush to continue with all the things on my list. There was just the two of us, in that moment, enjoying being together.
How long has it been since you really took a pause? A pause in your daily life? A pause with your horse? A pause with your family?
I encourage you to take some time and set down the RUSH, set down the "TO DO LIST", set down all the electronics, and just lean into the PAUSE. Feel the power.
I challenge you the next time you ride your horse, build in the pauses to just enjoy each other, in those moments of pause. Feel how you are feeling. Feel how your horse is feeling and fill both of you up with a few moments of "BEING" together.
I talk a little more about this in my latest "Turn Riding Fear Around" Podcast, Episode
33: The Power of Standing Still for our MIND.
Courage isn't the absence of fear; it's the ability to act in spite of it. Yet, for many, the journey toward courage is riddled with obstacles and doubts that can feel insurmountable. Whether it's the nagging voice of self-doubt, the excuses that we make up not to ride, or the relentless pursuit of being perfect, these hurdles can dim the light of bravery within us. However, with mindful awareness and intentional action, it's possible to navigate through these challenges and emerge stronger and more resilient than ever.
Self-doubt often whispers (or yells) destructive thoughts that undermine our confidence and capabilities. It's the voice that tells us we're not good enough, smart enough, or we're going to get hurt or worse. To combat self-doubt, it's crucial to challenge these negative beliefs with evidence of past successes and affirmations of our strengths and talents. We are good riders. By reframing our self-talk and acknowledging our strengths and achievements, we can gradually dismantle the barriers erected by self-doubt and step into our power with confidence.
The first step is to write down, the whispers that you hear all the time. The ones that have you making up excuses. Once you have a list - write down the good thoughts that it could be.
Here are a few: I might get hurt = I might enjoy my ride; I might fall off = I am a good rider; My horse might buck/rear/bolt = I am now prepared to know when my horse is ready to ride. Practice the ones on the right, as often as you can until they become the primary whispers.
Second step is to look back at all the wonderful rides you have had. Soak those up. Spend time in those memories. If a negative memory pops in, say "thank you" and let it go. Picture setting it free to float off on it's own until it gets smaller and smaller and is out of sight. Then think of 10 more wonderful rides to replace that one memory. Spend time in the memories of wonderful rides.
In essence, overcoming obstacles and doubts on the path to courage requires a combination of self-awareness, self-compassion, and intentional action. By challenging negative beliefs, reframing failure, and embracing vulnerability, we can unleash our inner courage and navigate challenges with resilience and grace. So, let us embark on this journey to enjoy riding our horses together and let courage fill us up!
Riding through life's challenges can be as daunting as riding horses. I lost my joy riding when fear took over after an accident. I was still riding but I wasn't riding with confidence and at the smallest blip, I got off. I had lost the joy of riding and was focused on not being afraid.
Here are 6 ways to start to regain your confidence:
1. Acknowledge Your Fears:
The first step is acknowledging your fears. Like many riders, we have faced moments of doubt or anxiety. Recognizing these fears is not a sign of weakness but a courageous acknowledgment that helps us heal. It honors the fear and let's it know we hear it. Feel the fear but know it is just trying to keep you safe, even if you aren't in danger.
2. Set Realistic Goals:
Start small and set achievable goals. Whether it's mastering a certain riding technique, conquering a specific fear trigger, or simply spending more quality time with your horse, setting realistic goals helps build confidence incrementally. Soak up that confidence every chance you get, it builds a strong foundation of courage.
3. Embrace Mindfulness:
Mindfulness is a powerful tool for overcoming fear. Practice being present in the moment, tuning into the rhythm of her horse's movement, and cultivating a sense of calm. Mindfulness not only enhances the riding experience but also nurtures confidence from within. By staying connected and mindful, you will be able to notice little changes in your horse and take action before it is too late and they blow up. I put together a short video on how I use mindfulness while riding if you would like to check it out here: Watch Video
4. Seek Expert Guidance:
Even top competitors seek guidance from other riders or professionals. Engaging in lessons or clinics provides a structured environment for learning and gaining valuable insights. A supportive mentor can offer tailored advice, boosting both skill and confidence. Tell them about your fears and let them know how they can support you and help you. For me, "just go do it" didn't work and letting them know that I wanted them to give me time really helped them help me.
5. Create a Support System:
Building a supportive community can make a significant difference. We can connect with fellow riders who understand our journey, share experiences, and offer encouragement. A strong support system provides a safety net as we gradually regain our confidence. (Here is the link to my support group!)
6. Reflect and Celebrate Progress:
It's essential to reflect on our progress regularly, riding or anytime we are overcoming anxiety. Celebrate small victories, whether it's a successful mounting or a calm canter. Acknowledging progress reinforces a positive mindset and bolsters confidence for the next challenge.
Regaining confidence in riding is a process of self-discovery and the unwavering belief that we can reclaim our joy in the saddle.
If you enjoyed these, you will enjoy my complimentary ebook, The Ultimate Guide to Courage Pennies, which helps you build confidence every day and fill up your courage so you are ready for anything, riding or just in life.
As horse riders, we have a unique challenge with setting a timeline for our goals, there are two of us (or more if we have more than one horse). I believe it is still important to set a timeline and make adjustments as necessary.
What does the timeline look like? First of all, we need to know what steps we need to take (and I lay these out for my journey back to courage in my book if you are interested in seeing one laid out as an example: Book)
Think about the things that need work and the process to accomplish your goals. This is the easy part and really just looking at where you are at today and where you want to be and what does the journey look like between those two points. Here are some of mine:
- Get healthy
- Get horse healthy
- Develop a plan for safety and execute the plan
- Get on
- Ride to the edge of my comfort zone
- ENJOY RIDING AGAIN!
Then, the more challenging part is to put that into a timeline. I knew my health wasn't going to be overnight and I also knew I would do that in parallel to the rest so it wasn't part of the overall timeline. I started it and continues to this day as I feel better and better as I get older! Win!
Getting the horses healthy had its ups and downs. The good thing with having multiple horses is that it gives me options so I can keep working on me and my courage while a horse may need a break here and there. Really, this is true of any goals that involve others, there are times we are on our game and times we rest and rejuvenate.
Developing a plan and implementing I could do in 30 days.
GET ON was a big one. It only takes 20 minutes to prepare, tack up and actually mount. This could not be used as an excuse to not meet the goal.
From there on out, it was building my courage, a little bit at a time.
As I look back, it took me almost 6 months but I think it could have been done in 3 months maximum. That means I had 3 months of excuses and reasons from the fear that held me back.
This year, I will do it in three months! I have had challenges and let that become excuses. It really wasn't about the timeline but more about my willingness to just push through and do what needed to be done to ride.
Do you have a timeline for your goal? Do you feel comfortable with all your steps to reach your goal? I have a few openings for courage coaching if you would like help making that goal successful and maybe even in less time than you thought possible! Schedule a 30 minute call and let's see if we can get you on track for this year to be YOUR YEAR!
I was climbing down from the step stool in the rabbit area and just as I was stepping off, I panicked! My subconscious realized I would be stepping onto a snake. In the blink of an eye, my body was able to redirect my step to miss the snake. This triggered a number of thoughts for me.
1. My fear was subconscious. I didn't "think" there is a snake and jump, my body just did it and my mind caught up after the fact.
2. The fear was not in my mind. It turned out it was just a skin the snake had shed so I was not in real danger but my subconscious didn't know that.
3.. Fear doesn't take a vacation. I am not afraid of snakes, but I did jump at this to keep me safe. It happened on Thanksgiving day. My fear didn't take the day off for the holiday.
4.. Fear can take place anywhere, anytime. Fear doesn't care if you are sitting on the couch thinking about something that happened, or that it is really happening. Even now as I write about the snake I thought I saw, my heart rate and breathing rate go up. I am sitting on my couch.
Fear takes place in our subconscious first. It might be triggered by our thoughts, like me sitting on the couch writing this or it may be triggered by our senses but we don't think "I am going to be scared" and then be scared. Our subconscious takes over and keeps us safe, whether perceived, imaginary, or real fear.
This give us POWER. We get to choose to think about amazing, positive things so that at least the perceived and imaginary fear can leave us alone. We do have control of our mind and we can practice. Just like putting training wheels on a bicycle, we can practice courage and joy. We can change it around so that fear only takes place when it is actually keeping us safe. We don't want to ignore fear, but honor it, act if necessary, and move into courage and calm if we don't need to react.
Let's practice together!
1. Find a place to sit comfortably.
2.Think of the last thing that scared you that wasn't a big deal, just a little scare.
3. Observe your mind and body: Feel your breathing and your heart rate. Did they increase with the recall of the memory? Notice if how you feel changed. Did your anxiety increase?
4. Now, think about something calming for you or play some calming music.
5. Observe your mind and body as before.
6. Repeat until you can easily bring your feelings back to calm and courage. Then, you can increase the pressure from your memories or the "what if's" from the future.
7. Get really good and feeling the anxiety and fear, and calming back down.
If you would like to read my journey from fear to courage that is filled with ways to help you find your courage, grab my book now! CLICK HERE!
