Overcoming fear over the past twenty years has taught me so much. Looking back, every moment of hesitation was worth the courage it took to push through. The journey was worth the sixty seconds of terror from the horse flipping over on top of me. What I realized is that the process I used is very similar to the process for accomplishing almost anything new or challenging. We all have things we would like different in our lives but just don't know who to begin and what to do. AT a high level, we figure out what steps need to be taken, we plan how to accomplish those steps, and then we implement those steps.
I believe we can all overcome our anxiety and fear if we make that our decision.
Here is a simple process that I used:
evaluate your health (You can do the same for your horses as well):
Set aside some time and sit down with a paper, journal, or some way to take notes. Scan your body and write down what is healthy, what is declining, what is improving, and what needs to be improved. Once you have that list from your scan, prioritize the list for action and commit to yourself to start feeling better now. Don't forget your mindset as well!
Gain knowledge:
Take some time and figure out what knowledge you have and what knowledge you need to accomplish your goal. I was all cocky when I did this part and thought I knew it all but did I? When I really sat down and did this, there were so many things I didn't know, even simple things like how to teach a horse to stand quiet and relaxed at the mounting block for me to get on. Seems simple but I had never trained a horse to do that. It was eye-opening to see how many things I didn't know I needed to know. I had a long list of knowledge that I needed to gain. I would love to hear how it goes with your list. What were your top 2 or 3 priorities on gaining knowledge for you.
Experience it:
Once you have gained the knowledge to at least take the first few steps, do the steps. Don't wait until you have gained all the knowledge and gotten healthy, start now and take small steps toward your destination. Those small steps will give you momentum and courage to continue on with your journey to confidence and courage. You have to do, not just think about doing. DO!
ADJUST:
As you start doing, you will find that you need to make adjustments. These can come in many forms. Adjust your health a little more. Learn a skill you hadn't thought of. It can be just about anything to help you stay on your journey and keep moving towards feeling that confident courageous self you know is inside of you.
Your process has already been created for you! Rise from Fear to Courage: Saddle Up and Enjoy Riding Again shares my journey of overcoming fear and reclaiming the joy of riding. If you're ready to ride with confidence, this book will show you the way. Grab your copy today and take the first step toward fearless riding!
I took twenty long years to go from my accident to my destination, getting my courage back. Along the way, there were many bumps in the road but looking back at the road, I can see the journey and how it could be streamlined. Here are the major milestones on a journey into courage after an accident.
MILESTONES:
1️⃣ Reframe the Fear: Shift your perspective — fear isn’t the enemy, it’s a signal. Learn to listen without letting it control you.
2️⃣ Focus on the Mindset: Build a strong mental foundation with positive self-talk, visualization, and daily affirmations.
3️⃣ Have the Physical Health Ready: Make sure your body feels strong and supported — physical readiness boosts confidence.
4️⃣ Gain the Knowledge: Understand what you’re doing, why, and how to handle challenges — knowledge quiets anxiety.
5️⃣ Take the First Step: Action builds momentum. Start small and don't stop — courage grows with each step forward.
6️⃣ Enjoy Your Courage: Celebrate your progress and savor the feeling of showing up for yourself — this is where confidence thrives.
Do you want to overcome anxiety with a little extra
help? Let’s explore breaking free from anxiety and stepping into calm.
Book your free chat now and take the first step toward finding your calm. I have helped clients with both courage
coaching and hypnotherapy to overcome their anxiety and enjoy life again.
After my accident, I unknowingly spent 20 years living in my own comfort zone. During this time, I avoided trail riding and hacking out with my horses, things I once loved. When I did the math, it shocked me—those 20 years equaled 7,300 opportunities I missed to trail ride. We all have that line, the edge that we struggle to cross, maybe it is mounting, trail riding, cantering, or even in some cases, leading your horse. There is a point, the edge of the comfort zone, that we go from confidence to anxiety or even fear.
Think of your home. It’s your sanctuary, a place where you feel safe and protected from the chaos of the world. Your home is where you rest, recharge, and feel secure. In many ways, your comfort zone is like a subconscious "home" you create for yourself. It’s the mental space where you feel emotionally and physically safe, free from risk, uncertainty, and fear. But just like any home, staying within your comfort zone can eventually limit your experiences and growth.
Our comfort zones are designed to keep us safe from perceived threats—whether emotional, physical, or psychological. They offer a sense of security and stability, much like the four walls of a home. However, staying in that bubble for too long can prevent us from venturing out into the world. It can keep us from embracing new opportunities, trying new things, and facing our fears. There isn't anything wrong with this and each person has to decide if and when they cross the edge of their comfort zone.
The problem with living in a constant state of safety is that life outside the comfort zone is where growth happens. It’s in those moments of discomfort—when we step outside our bubble—that we learn, build resilience, and discover new strengths.
When I finally realized how much time I had lost to fear, I knew I had to push myself beyond the bubble. It wasn’t easy, but every step outside of my comfort zone brought me closer to rediscovering the joy of riding and living fully.
If you’re stuck in your own comfort zone, it’s time to start earning those Courage Pennies. The first step is always the hardest, but with each small victory, you’ll feel more empowered. To help you get started on your journey, I’m offering a free eBook, The Ultimate Guide to Courage Pennies. Inside, you’ll find simple yet powerful steps to help you build courage and move beyond your comfort zone.
Don’t wait another 7,300 opportunities. Take the first step toward living a fuller, braver life today.
Sitting in the warmup ring on my cute gray thoroughbred mare, tears streaming down my face, realizing that once again, I did not have the confidence to ride her through her attitude. I got off and handed her to the teenager to get on and work her through her attitude. What did this young lady have that I didn't have? Confidence. She was half my age, had far less riding experience than I did and yet, here I was, sitting on the sidelines while she "fixed" my horse. We all have those moments when our anxiety and fear get the best of us.
How can we build up our confidence so that we are not the ones sitting on the sidelines?
First, soak up moments of courage outside of riding. The more confidence and courage you have in anything, the more you have in riding. Look for little areas in life where you did something you didn't "FEEL" like doing. You took the courage to do it. For me, going to the dentist is huge. I have built up so much confidence, I now sleep at the dentist. Are there areas in your life outside of riding that you need a bit of courage. Weight loss? Getting healthy? Going to the dentist? Soak up the courage pennies when you have those moments.
Second, while riding, practice getting a little anxious and then coming back to calm. For me, the trigger is the horse lifting their head. I can focus on feeling that anxiety when my horse lifts their head and then feel that go through me and out my fingers and toes. Filling myself back up with calm. As I come back to calm, it feels rewarding and the more I do it, the easier it becomes.
Third, focus on where you are going and what you are doing. Keep the focus on the ride. Shush the what if and monkey chatter and come back to focus. We all have that background talk that can escalate our anxiety, but we also have the ability to move past that and focus in the moment.
Building confidence is a process, but it starts with one small step. Whether you're struggling with riding, facing a personal fear, or just trying to boost your everyday courage, every "courage penny" you earn counts. To help you start building your confidence, download my free eBook, The Ultimate Guide to Courage Pennies. Inside, you’ll find practical steps to help you face fear and build a more confident, courageous mindset—both in and out of the saddle.
Start today. You’ve got this.
I was in the middle of a figure eight when I stopped, right there where the two circles join. The feelings of anxiety, work, chores, overwhelm all piled up on me at once. When I got on my horse, I had 10 things all lined up to work on. Backing, moving the shoulders right and left, moving the haunches right and left, etc. Just writing this, I can feel my stress rising and those feelings of overwhelm creeping in. Like many of you, we focus on all the "DOING" that we think needs to be completed to move on to the next steps.
As I stopped, right there in the middle of the figure eight, I felt the "PAUSE". I felt it through me, through my horse, all the tension drained away into the ground. We both took some deep breaths together and just leaned into each other, feeling our feelings. I know this sounds a little nuts, but it was very powerful. The power in this pause lasted for a few minutes. There was no rush to carry on with the figure eight. There was no rush to continue with all the things on my list. There was just the two of us, in that moment, enjoying being together.
How long has it been since you really took a pause? A pause in your daily life? A pause with your horse? A pause with your family?
I encourage you to take some time and set down the RUSH, set down the "TO DO LIST", set down all the electronics, and just lean into the PAUSE. Feel the power.
I challenge you the next time you ride your horse, build in the pauses to just enjoy each other, in those moments of pause. Feel how you are feeling. Feel how your horse is feeling and fill both of you up with a few moments of "BEING" together.
I talk a little more about this in my latest "Turn Riding Fear Around" Podcast, Episode
33: The Power of Standing Still for our MIND.
