Riding through life's challenges can be as daunting as riding horses. I lost my joy riding when fear took over after an accident. I was still riding but I wasn't riding with confidence and at the smallest blip, I got off. I had lost the joy of riding and was focused on not being afraid.
Here are 6 ways to start to regain your confidence:
1. Acknowledge Your Fears:
The first step is acknowledging your fears. Like many riders, we have faced moments of doubt or anxiety. Recognizing these fears is not a sign of weakness but a courageous acknowledgment that helps us heal. It honors the fear and let's it know we hear it. Feel the fear but know it is just trying to keep you safe, even if you aren't in danger.
2. Set Realistic Goals:
Start small and set achievable goals. Whether it's mastering a certain riding technique, conquering a specific fear trigger, or simply spending more quality time with your horse, setting realistic goals helps build confidence incrementally. Soak up that confidence every chance you get, it builds a strong foundation of courage.
3. Embrace Mindfulness:
Mindfulness is a powerful tool for overcoming fear. Practice being present in the moment, tuning into the rhythm of her horse's movement, and cultivating a sense of calm. Mindfulness not only enhances the riding experience but also nurtures confidence from within. By staying connected and mindful, you will be able to notice little changes in your horse and take action before it is too late and they blow up. I put together a short video on how I use mindfulness while riding if you would like to check it out here: Watch Video
4. Seek Expert Guidance:
Even top competitors seek guidance from other riders or professionals. Engaging in lessons or clinics provides a structured environment for learning and gaining valuable insights. A supportive mentor can offer tailored advice, boosting both skill and confidence. Tell them about your fears and let them know how they can support you and help you. For me, "just go do it" didn't work and letting them know that I wanted them to give me time really helped them help me.
5. Create a Support System:
Building a supportive community can make a significant difference. We can connect with fellow riders who understand our journey, share experiences, and offer encouragement. A strong support system provides a safety net as we gradually regain our confidence. (Here is the link to my support group!)
6. Reflect and Celebrate Progress:
It's essential to reflect on our progress regularly, riding or anytime we are overcoming anxiety. Celebrate small victories, whether it's a successful mounting or a calm canter. Acknowledging progress reinforces a positive mindset and bolsters confidence for the next challenge.
Regaining confidence in riding is a process of self-discovery and the unwavering belief that we can reclaim our joy in the saddle.
If you enjoyed these, you will enjoy my complimentary ebook, The Ultimate Guide to Courage Pennies, which helps you build confidence every day and fill up your courage so you are ready for anything, riding or just in life.
As horse riders, we have a unique challenge with setting a timeline for our goals, there are two of us (or more if we have more than one horse). I believe it is still important to set a timeline and make adjustments as necessary.
What does the timeline look like? First of all, we need to know what steps we need to take (and I lay these out for my journey back to courage in my book if you are interested in seeing one laid out as an example: Book)
Think about the things that need work and the process to accomplish your goals. This is the easy part and really just looking at where you are at today and where you want to be and what does the journey look like between those two points. Here are some of mine:
- Get healthy
- Get horse healthy
- Develop a plan for safety and execute the plan
- Get on
- Ride to the edge of my comfort zone
- ENJOY RIDING AGAIN!
Then, the more challenging part is to put that into a timeline. I knew my health wasn't going to be overnight and I also knew I would do that in parallel to the rest so it wasn't part of the overall timeline. I started it and continues to this day as I feel better and better as I get older! Win!
Getting the horses healthy had its ups and downs. The good thing with having multiple horses is that it gives me options so I can keep working on me and my courage while a horse may need a break here and there. Really, this is true of any goals that involve others, there are times we are on our game and times we rest and rejuvenate.
Developing a plan and implementing I could do in 30 days.
GET ON was a big one. It only takes 20 minutes to prepare, tack up and actually mount. This could not be used as an excuse to not meet the goal.
From there on out, it was building my courage, a little bit at a time.
As I look back, it took me almost 6 months but I think it could have been done in 3 months maximum. That means I had 3 months of excuses and reasons from the fear that held me back.
This year, I will do it in three months! I have had challenges and let that become excuses. It really wasn't about the timeline but more about my willingness to just push through and do what needed to be done to ride.
Do you have a timeline for your goal? Do you feel comfortable with all your steps to reach your goal? I have a few openings for courage coaching if you would like help making that goal successful and maybe even in less time than you thought possible! Schedule a 30 minute call and let's see if we can get you on track for this year to be YOUR YEAR!
When I saw the horse flipping over on top of me, the feeling of falling and seeing that he was going to crush me, left me mentally in much worse shape than I was physically. The fear hung out with me like a dear friend. Like many of you, we have things happen that we cannot control, and the fear remains, long after the danger has passed.
Honor your fear or it will explode to get your attention.
This can be so hard to learn. We are taught to push down our fear, just buck up and do it, get on with it, and we end up feeling so alone in our fear. That feeling that nobody else understands. The hardest part is realizing that we can't just push that fear down. We can honor that fear, the precious fear that is just trying to keep us safe. It means well. It is doing its job. It doesn't know that we are no longer in danger and can make different decisions.
You might be wondering how. Here are my three tips for honoring your fear and returning to joy:
1. Really say thank you to your fear. Feel that it has helped you to stay safe. Take some time with this and let your feelings flow. If you enjoy journaling, put it down on paper. If you are like me and writing isn't your thing, close your eyes and just really breath into the fear, feel gratitude, feel yourself saying thank you.
2. When you start to feel the fear come up, practice amazing "What If's". There isn't anything that says we have to stay in negative what if's. We can pick and choose new ones, ones that fill us up with passion, desire, and joy!
3. Use tools. Whether it be checklists, breathing techniques, calming oils, CBD, preparation, music, or something else. Find out what works for you. Tools have such a bad stigma but really they can help us keep fear at bay and really let it know that we have this, we are good, and not in danger.
If you would like a little help on your "What if's", here is a short video on my thoughts and a little challenge! Click here.
I went 15 years without falling and then competing in a big jumper class, I fell off over a jump. I was talking to my young friend about it and she realized, the last time I had fallen was before she was born and we just paused, and really connected in that moment. We all have the chance of falling or having an accident of any kind, may not even involve horses.
Fortunately, horses have the remarkable ability to help us conquer this fear and unlock our true potential. Let's explore how horses enable us to overcome the fear of falling and discover a new level of self-confidence.
1. Building Trust and Connection:
Horses are known for their intuitive nature and ability to form strong bonds with humans. When working with horses, we learn that trust is the foundation of any successful relationship. Through patient and consistent interaction, we develop a deep sense of trust with these majestic creatures. This trust-building process helps us overcome our fear of falling, as it allows us to relinquish control and rely on the strength and stability of the horse.
2. Developing Balance and Coordination:
Riding a horse requires a certain degree of balance and coordination. As we navigate the challenges of riding, we not only physically learn how to stay centered and in control but also mentally build the confidence needed to face the fear of falling. Horses teach us to embrace our body's natural power and work together in harmony to maintain balance, thus empowering us to overcome the fear that restricts our growth. They also encourage us to improve our health to be better riders!
3. Enhancing Self-Awareness:
Horses possess an ability to mirror our emotions and behavior, providing immediate feedback on our actions. Through this awareness, we can address and work through these emotions, gradually building our self-confidence in the face of falling. Courage pennies is a great way to track this amazing process of gaining courage! Soak up pennies every time you feel confident and use a penny or two when you have fear creap in. It is just a good visual to help!
4. Learning to Trust One's Intuition:
Horse riders begin to tap into their intuitive senses—gut feelings and instinctive responses to different situations. Trusting our intuition is crucial for overcoming the fear of falling, especially using this before we get on. Making sure everything with us and our horse is just right. It enables us to make split-second decisions and respond effectively. As we become more attuned to our intuition, we gain a deep sense of self-trust and confidence, further bolstering our ability to manage the fear of falling.
If you haven't read my book on getting over fear, it is a great process that helps anyone facing fear, know what steps to take to find courage again! You can get it here: Rise from Fear to COURAGE!
I am going to share the most powerful secret I have learned recently.
I was sitting on the edge of the bed, trying to put my socks on and I was STIFF. I didn't feel amazing.
When I was 5, I had invited my aunts to sit with me on the floor to play a board game, and they declined saying that they would hurt. I vowed to never let that happen to me.
Have you ever felt that twinge, that reaching for something and you think...ohhh, that didn't feel so good?
You start to have those thoughts of "I am getting older, it is normal" creeping in. You realize that you have put on a little weight, in areas that you don't want to have added weight. Your joints creek a little more than they used to.
This right here, STOPPED ME IN MY TRACKS. I remembered that vow I had made, and thought, wow, I am my aunts. I had to figure out how to get back to feeling like that kid again, physically.
I tried EVERYTHING. Keto, whole foods, paleo, intermittent fasting, more sleep, more exercise, I felt like I had tried everything, and I did feel better, a little bit, but I still didn't feel like I did when I was a kid.
I realized that riding my horses was also not feeling like it did as a kid. It was a little harder to get on, a little less balance, a little less flexibility. My hands on the reins hurt a little and I couldn't even put on my wedding ring my knuckle was so swollen.
I have a friend in her 80's still jumping and another lady running 100-mile ultra marathons and doing great. I knew I had to get it figured out. One way or another.
Do you have friends that are just like the energizer bunny and you haven't figured out what they are doing? It was really having me feel down.
Then, in January 2023, I found the SECRET. I signed up for the 11-day Jumpstart. The coach was doing the program for free and I just had to get the supplement. I had tried the supplement for a few years and loved it but it hadn't given me the results I wanted. Our amazing coach, and support group, had put together a program that changed everything. It is a lot like preloading supplements for our horses! It is also like putting the best nutrients into our bodies at the right times of day.
What would you do first if your body felt like you did as a kid? What would your horse think if you got on and your horse didn't have to compensate for you. Can you imagine, going into your golden years, feeling just like you did as a kid?
If you want to feel amazing like a kid again, click here: 11-Day Jumpstart
