The Process to Overcome Anxiety and Find Confidence

The Process to Overcome Anxiety and Find Confidence
Overcoming fear over the past twenty years has taught me so much. Looking back, every moment of hesitation was worth the courage it took to push through.  The journey was worth the sixty seconds of terror from the horse flipping over on top of me.  What I realized is that the process I used is very similar to the process for accomplishing almost anything new or challenging.  We all have things we would like different in our lives but just don't know who to begin and what to do.  AT a high level, we figure out what steps need to be taken, we plan how to accomplish those steps, and then we implement those steps.

I believe we can all overcome our anxiety and fear if we make that our decision.

Here is a simple process that I used:

evaluate your health (You can do the same for your horses as well):

Set aside some time and sit down with a paper, journal, or some way to take notes.  Scan your body and write down what is healthy, what is declining, what is improving, and what needs to be improved.  Once you have that list from your scan, prioritize the list for action and commit to yourself to start feeling better now.  Don't forget your mindset as well!
 

Gain knowledge:

Take some time and figure out what knowledge you have and what knowledge you need to accomplish your goal.  I was all cocky when I did this part and thought I knew it all but did I?  When I really sat down and did this, there were so many things I didn't know, even simple things like how to teach a horse to stand quiet and relaxed at the mounting block for me to get on.  Seems simple but I had never trained a horse to do that.  It was eye-opening to see how many things I didn't know I needed to know.  I had a long list of knowledge that I needed to gain.  I would love to hear how it goes with your list.  What were your top 2 or 3 priorities on gaining knowledge for you.

Experience it:

Once you have gained the knowledge to at least take the first few steps, do the steps.  Don't wait until you have gained all the knowledge and gotten healthy, start now and take small steps toward your destination.  Those small steps will give you momentum and courage to continue on with your journey to confidence and courage.  You have to do, not just think about doing.  DO!

ADJUST:

As you start doing, you will find that you need to make adjustments.  These can come in many forms.  Adjust your health a little more.  Learn a skill you hadn't thought of.  It can be just about anything to help you stay on your journey and keep moving towards feeling that confident courageous self you know is inside of you.

Your process has already been created for you!  Rise from Fear to Courage: Saddle Up and Enjoy Riding Again shares my journey of overcoming fear and reclaiming the joy of riding. If you're ready to ride with confidence, this book will show you the way. Grab your copy today and take the first step toward fearless riding!

 

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Whether you think you can, or you think you can't, you are right

Whether you think you can, or you think you can't, you are right
There were 60 of us, sitting in folding chairs in an arena, with horses and ponies running all over the place.  The first couple of people to do an exercise looked like it was very challenging.  There was one pretty gray arab mare that was frazzled.  She looked like she had ADHD and was just freaked out.

My turn came to do an exercise in front of the crowd.  I picked the frazzled gray mare as my partner, I thought we both needed each other.  The first assignment was to have the horse stand still, and for me to walk around the horse.  That horse was all over the place, and it was hard to even get two steps around her before she was off doing something else.  This was all at liberty of course.

The second exercise was to stand still and have the horse walk around us.  My gut reaction, "I CAN'T DO THIS!"  As soon as I had the thought, a feeling came over me, I can do this.  It was an overwhelming whisper, deep inside.  I went to the center of the arena and closed my eyes.  I pictured her going around me and I felt my heart connected to her heart.  I would glance up every once in a while, and there she was, calm, quiet, peaceful, walking around me.  I thought let's see what we can do.  I pictured her coming in closer and she did.  I pictured her going out further and she did.  I pictured her changing directions, and she did.  I pictured her trotting quietly with her head low and she did.

Our exercise was supposed to be 10 minutes, but for 30 minutes, we were there, in the center, connected heart to heart.  The audience was silent.  In their own thoughts of wonder.  The owner of the horse and the practitioners were in shock.

I finally just stopped, and she came to me and pressed her head into my chest, and we just breathed together.  In that moment, I knew for the rest of my life, when I had doubt, I would think of the pretty gray mare and know, "I CAN".

This was the most powerful moment I have ever had in my life.  It was a precious gift from God.

Can Horses Sense Fear? I have proof!

Can Horses Sense Fear? I have proof!

It was a really windy day.  Tarps and boxes were blowing around and the noise from the leaves in the trees was like a freight train.  I took Michelle for a walk because other than the wind, the day was gorgeous.  I thought it would be good to practice walking behind me at the end of the lead rope.

 

Up the hill, she was so good.  She stayed back and we had a great walk.  Around the corner of the pasture, we kept walking and voila, the cardboard flew off the car trailer right next to us.  It gave us a great opportunity to do some work and ignore the cardboard.  She did very well but I could tell I was at her threshold.

 

We turned to walk back to the pasture gate.  She was at the end of the lead rope behind me, but I could tell she was a powder keg by now.  I kept checking over my shoulder to make sure she didn't run me over and she escalated some more.  I checked more.  Then, BAM, it hit me. Can horses sense fear?  YES! 

 

She didn't know I was worried about her running me over.  She thought I was worried about what was behind us, the cardboard, attacking.  When I had that realization, I immediately started walking confidently just like I had on the way out.  It was a drastic difference for her.  She immediately blew out and started to relax.  She followed along at the end of the lead rope, and I knew she wasn't going to run me over.  I was confident.  I needed to be her leader, not the person afraid of being run over.  As soon as I let go of the fear behind me, she let go of the fear behind her and we had a lovely walk back to the pasture.

 

As I was reviewing this later, I realized that the fear of what is behind us is far more than just in that moment.  My fear of my accident in 2000 was a fear of what was behind me, in the past.  There are so many fears that we carry along that are behind us.  These fears are an anchor holding us back from living life to the fullest.  Drop the anchors, raise the sails and become the captain of your life!