When we think about confidence, it’s tempting to believe some riders are just “born with it.” But that’s as unrealistic as expecting a baby to hop up and run before they’ve learned to crawl.
Confidence in the saddle is no different—it’s a skill, a muscle, something we build step by step.
Think about how we learn to move as kids:
- Crawl first. Slow, shaky, uncertain. This is where you start calming your mind, practicing grounding techniques, and finding steady footing before you even get on your horse.
- Then walk. You begin to add in little stressors—maybe a short ride, a new exercise, or a challenge that’s just outside your comfort zone—while practicing those calm-mind skills. You’re not racing, just getting stronger, building the confidence muscle.
- Finally, run. With practice, your mind and body work together. This is where confidence starts to feel natural again. You can lean into the joy of riding because you’ve done the work to build a foundation.
The truth is, fear doesn’t disappear overnight. But when you approach it in small, intentional steps, you set yourself up for real, lasting confidence. Just like learning to walk, you’ll stumble, wobble, and maybe fall—but every try strengthens your balance.
So instead of asking yourself, “Why don’t I just feel confident already?” try asking, “What step am I on today?” Because each step matters—and each step brings you closer to the ride you’ve been dreaming of.
👉 Want a tool to help? Grab my Confidence Blueprint—9 proven strategies to keep you moving from crawl to canter with courage. It is a full workshop in an ebook at a great price of $17 and you don't even have to travel! Get the Confidence Blueprint HERE!
“Am I going to die?”
That’s the question I asked the paramedic at least a hundred times on the hour-long drive to the hospital. A 17.3-hand horse had flipped onto me—no helmet, the saddle horn in my gut, pinned against a tree. I felt crushed from head to toe; certain I wouldn’t make it.
Physically, I was lucky. My body healed quickly.
Emotionally? Not so lucky. That accident hijacked my confidence.
Emotionally? Not so lucky. That accident hijacked my confidence.
A few seconds was all it took to bury my courage so deep it felt like I’d never find it again. What should have been months of healing turned into 20 years of battling fear, avoiding rides, and trying to figure out what went wrong.
Here’s the truth: your confidence can be stolen in a moment. But it doesn’t have to stay gone.
The good news: you can take it back.
The bad news: it takes work.
The better news: there’s a faster way forward than the decades it took me.
The bad news: it takes work.
The better news: there’s a faster way forward than the decades it took me.
After 20 years of trial and error, I discovered the three areas every rider must work on to reclaim confidence:
1. The conscious mind.
This is the “loud voice” in your head—the part that keeps replaying fear and feeding doubt. Left unchecked, it buries confidence in the shadows. The good news? There are tools to flip that script. My favorite is Courage Pennies—a simple practice of noticing where you already show confidence in daily life and letting those wins add up. (If you don’t have my Ultimate Guide to Courage Pennies eBook yet, grab it here!)
This is the “loud voice” in your head—the part that keeps replaying fear and feeding doubt. Left unchecked, it buries confidence in the shadows. The good news? There are tools to flip that script. My favorite is Courage Pennies—a simple practice of noticing where you already show confidence in daily life and letting those wins add up. (If you don’t have my Ultimate Guide to Courage Pennies eBook yet, grab it here!)
2. The subconscious mind.
Your subconscious has one mission: keep you safe. But it often confuses “safe” with “stuck.” Old beliefs and fears can dig in hard. I used to try and slowly reprogram this by working only at the conscious level—it worked, but it was painfully slow. That’s why now I pair conscious tools with deeper methods like NLP and hypnotherapy to help riders shift their subconscious faster.
Your subconscious has one mission: keep you safe. But it often confuses “safe” with “stuck.” Old beliefs and fears can dig in hard. I used to try and slowly reprogram this by working only at the conscious level—it worked, but it was painfully slow. That’s why now I pair conscious tools with deeper methods like NLP and hypnotherapy to help riders shift their subconscious faster.
3. The body.
When I wasn’t riding much, my body wasn’t in riding shape. And every ounce of stiffness, weakness, or imbalance just amplified my fear. The great news is that physical strength and health are the easiest to change—when you make them a priority, your body supports your confidence instead of undermining it. (I’m 61 and honestly feel better now than I did at 20!)
Confidence can be hijacked in a heartbeat, but it doesn’t have to stay missing. You can reclaim it—by training your conscious mind, rewiring your subconscious, and caring for your body so it supports your courage.
So let me ask you:
👉 What’s one step you can take this week to start freeing your confidence again?
👉 What’s one step you can take this week to start freeing your confidence again?
When anxiety hits, it feels like your body is hijacked. Your stomach flips, your chest tightens, your thoughts start racing — and all you want is relief right now. If you’re a rider, those feelings can show up at the barn, on the mounting block, or even just thinking about getting on your horse.
So, what actually helps with anxiety immediately?
The good news is, there are simple tools you can use anywhere, anytime to calm your body and mind. Here are three of my favorites:
1. Name Five Things....
This helps you STOP, look around, breath, and really see what is around you, no matter the situation. It’s a quick way to retrain your brain and body. As you look around at things to name, your nervous system begins to respond to you instead of running wild. Within minutes, you feel more in control and grounded.
This helps you STOP, look around, breath, and really see what is around you, no matter the situation. It’s a quick way to retrain your brain and body. As you look around at things to name, your nervous system begins to respond to you instead of running wild. Within minutes, you feel more in control and grounded.
2. Alphabet Game
Start at A and think of something that starts with A, Apple. Then move to B, Banana. Etc. What this does is it distracts your brain from triggering the anxiety and it acts as an interrupt. When you are feeling calm again, then go back to what you were doing that caused the anxiety. If it happens again, pick up where you left off in the alphabet and then you can just repeat if you need a little more. You can also find things you see that start with each letter.
3. Rock It Out (Your Body Remembers Safety)
Think about how babies are soothed — they’re rocked. That same rhythm works for you, too. Whether you gently sway side to side, shift your weight in your chair, or even let your horse’s walk carry you, rocking helps calm your nervous system. It’s like pressing “reset” on your body’s stress response. Within moments, you’ll feel more grounded and supported, ready to carry on with confidence.
Think about how babies are soothed — they’re rocked. That same rhythm works for you, too. Whether you gently sway side to side, shift your weight in your chair, or even let your horse’s walk carry you, rocking helps calm your nervous system. It’s like pressing “reset” on your body’s stress response. Within moments, you’ll feel more grounded and supported, ready to carry on with confidence.
Anxiety doesn’t vanish forever in one moment. But these tools can help you shift your state immediately so that you don’t spiral into full panic mode. And the more often you practice them, the faster your confidence grows — both in and out of the saddle.
If you’ve been struggling with riding anxiety, know this: you’re not broken, and you don’t have to just “push through.” With the right tools, you can calm your nerves in minutes and start enjoying your horse again.
Want more step-by-step support? That’s exactly what I cover in my Confidence Blueprint. This is a complete workshop in an ebook that you can get here! For a limited time, it is only $17 and will take you through a full Confidence building workshop.
You want to ride, but your body freezes, standing there frozen at the mounting block. My first time back, it was get on and take 4 steps. Seemed so small but I celebrated.
Maybe it’s been months… or even years since you last felt truly confident in the saddle. And now, every “what if” in the book is swirling through your head.
I know that feeling all too well, you are not alone.
After my accident, it wasn’t days or weeks to overcome the anxiety—it turned into years. One terrifying moment stole twenty years of my confidence.
That’s the part nobody tells you. Anxiety doesn’t just steal a few minutes of peace—it can quietly rob you of seasons, memories, and joy with your horse.
And when you’re in it, you feel completely alone. Everyone else looks like they’re having fun, while you’re fighting back nausea and trying to convince yourself to just swing a leg over.
But here’s the truth: you are not alone. What you’re feeling is more common than you realize. Riders everywhere, of every age and experience level, struggle with this exact same battle between heart and mind.
And here’s the other truth: you don’t have to stay stuck.
I learned the hard way, over twenty long years, how to rebuild my confidence. And now, after working with riders one-on-one, I’ve discovered something important: you don’t have to wait decades to get your confidence back.
Instead of fighting with your nerves, you can reset. Clear out the “what if” skeletons, start fresh, and rebuild from a place of calm. It begins with one simple belief: riding anxiety doesn’t make you weak—it’s actually pointing you toward the exact place where growth can happen. You can grow through your anxiety and improve all areas of your life (shockingly!).
When you learn to see your anxiety not as an enemy, but as a guide, everything shifts. You start focusing on what you can do, step by step, until confidence becomes second nature again. Get on and get back off. Walk a circle. Walk a figure eight. You anxiety helps you prepare and your confidence gets built one step at a time. Pick your first steps.
And you don’t have to figure out your next steps alone.
I’d love to hear your story—how long it’s been for you, and where you feel stuck. And if you’re ready for deeper support, you can grab a free Calm-Ride Strategy Call with me, and we’ll create a plan to get you back in the saddle with confidence.
Because you are not alone. And your way forward is waiting.
People often assume confidence is something you're either born with or without.
But I’m living proof that it’s something you learn—by showing up, trying, failing, and trying again.
When I was five, I competed solo in dinghy sailboat races. Just me and the wind.
The first few times? I missed the wind angles completely.
I bobbed around while the other kids zipped ahead.
The first few times? I missed the wind angles completely.
I bobbed around while the other kids zipped ahead.
But over time, I learned how to feel the shift in the breeze. I learned how to tack, how to recover, how to trust myself on the water.
That skill didn’t just help me win races—it gave me confidence that stuck.
That skill didn’t just help me win races—it gave me confidence that stuck.
And I carried that confidence right into my next wild adventure:
I bought a 2-year-old unbroke Shetland pony colt (yes, really) and trained him to trail ride—by myself.
No trainers. No horsey parents. Just me, a scrappy pony, and a whole lot of learning.
I bought a 2-year-old unbroke Shetland pony colt (yes, really) and trained him to trail ride—by myself.
No trainers. No horsey parents. Just me, a scrappy pony, and a whole lot of learning.
Was I scared sometimes? Of course.
But I didn’t wait for confidence to magically appear.
I built it. One tiny success at a time.
But I didn’t wait for confidence to magically appear.
I built it. One tiny success at a time.
Confidence Isn't Born—It's Built
So, if you’re sitting there thinking,
"I wish I felt more confident riding…”
Let me tell you something:
"I wish I felt more confident riding…”
Let me tell you something:
You’re not missing something.
You’re not broken.
You just haven’t had enough reps yet.
You’re not broken.
You just haven’t had enough reps yet.
Confidence grows when you try.
It gets stronger when you learn.
And it becomes part of you when you realize—“Hey, I did that.”
It gets stronger when you learn.
And it becomes part of you when you realize—“Hey, I did that.”
And you can.
Need help building your riding confidence? Let’s talk. Book a free Calm-Ride Strategy Call and let’s create your confidence roadmap—one real, doable step at a time. 🐴
