People often assume confidence is something you're either born with or without.
But I’m living proof that it’s something you learn—by showing up, trying, failing, and trying again.
When I was five, I competed solo in dinghy sailboat races. Just me and the wind.
The first few times? I missed the wind angles completely.
I bobbed around while the other kids zipped ahead.
The first few times? I missed the wind angles completely.
I bobbed around while the other kids zipped ahead.
But over time, I learned how to feel the shift in the breeze. I learned how to tack, how to recover, how to trust myself on the water.
That skill didn’t just help me win races—it gave me confidence that stuck.
That skill didn’t just help me win races—it gave me confidence that stuck.
And I carried that confidence right into my next wild adventure:
I bought a 2-year-old unbroke Shetland pony colt (yes, really) and trained him to trail ride—by myself.
No trainers. No horsey parents. Just me, a scrappy pony, and a whole lot of learning.
I bought a 2-year-old unbroke Shetland pony colt (yes, really) and trained him to trail ride—by myself.
No trainers. No horsey parents. Just me, a scrappy pony, and a whole lot of learning.
Was I scared sometimes? Of course.
But I didn’t wait for confidence to magically appear.
I built it. One tiny success at a time.
But I didn’t wait for confidence to magically appear.
I built it. One tiny success at a time.
Confidence Isn't Born—It's Built
So, if you’re sitting there thinking,
"I wish I felt more confident riding…”
Let me tell you something:
"I wish I felt more confident riding…”
Let me tell you something:
You’re not missing something.
You’re not broken.
You just haven’t had enough reps yet.
You’re not broken.
You just haven’t had enough reps yet.
Confidence grows when you try.
It gets stronger when you learn.
And it becomes part of you when you realize—“Hey, I did that.”
It gets stronger when you learn.
And it becomes part of you when you realize—“Hey, I did that.”
And you can.
Need help building your riding confidence? Let’s talk. Book a free Calm-Ride Strategy Call and let’s create your confidence roadmap—one real, doable step at a time. 🐴
When anxiety hits, it feels urgent.
Your chest tightens. Your mind races. You just want it to stop—now.
Your chest tightens. Your mind races. You just want it to stop—now.
And while I wish I could give you a magic “off switch,” the truth is… anxiety didn’t form in an instant.
It built itself over time—through experiences, habits, thoughts, and patterns you may not even remember.
It built itself over time—through experiences, habits, thoughts, and patterns you may not even remember.
So expecting it to dissolve in an instant?
That’s a heavy ask for your nervous system.
That’s a heavy ask for your nervous system.
But here’s the good news: there are ways to get immediate help.
Not the kind that erases anxiety forever, but the kind that interrupts the cycle just enough to give you space.
To breathe.
To choose something different.
Not the kind that erases anxiety forever, but the kind that interrupts the cycle just enough to give you space.
To breathe.
To choose something different.
Ferris Wheel Breathing
Yep—like the carnival ride.
Here’s how it works:
- Close your eyes (or soften your gaze).
- As you inhale, imagine your breath slowly rising up one side of the Ferris wheel.
- At the top, pause—like you’re taking in the view.
- As you exhale, your breath comes gently down the other side.
- At the bottom, pause again—safe and grounded—before starting the next circle.
Breathe in — ride up.
Pause — enjoy the view.
Breathe out — ride down.
Pause — feel the earth.
Pause — enjoy the view.
Breathe out — ride down.
Pause — feel the earth.
You’re not just visualizing.
You’re re-training your nervous system to connect breath + safety + rhythm.
You’re creating motion inside the stillness.
You’re re-training your nervous system to connect breath + safety + rhythm.
You’re creating motion inside the stillness.
And guess what?
Even just one loop can shift something.
That’s a win.
Even just one loop can shift something.
That’s a win.
Don’t Wait for the Panic — Build Confidence Before You Need It
Ferris Wheel Breathing and visualization work beautifully in the moment—but what if we didn’t wait for the panic to hit?
What if, instead of scrambling for tools in the middle of a meltdown, you already had a strong foundation built?
That’s the difference between coping and preparing.
When you intentionally build confidence—through mental rehearsal, mindset work, and nervous system resets—you start riding into situations with resilience already on board.
You’re not starting at zero.
You’re not hoping you can manage it.
You’ve trained for this.
You’re not hoping you can manage it.
You’ve trained for this.
How Do You Build That Kind of Confidence?
This is where deeper tools come in—like hypnotherapy, NLP, and structured courage coaching.
These tools don’t just patch over the fear.
They reset the brain and body to feel safe again.
They help you create a calm baseline before the ride, before the challenge, before your fear takes the wheel.
They reset the brain and body to feel safe again.
They help you create a calm baseline before the ride, before the challenge, before your fear takes the wheel.
Think of it as mental conditioning for your nervous system.
Just like physical training prepares your muscles, this prepares your mind.
Just like physical training prepares your muscles, this prepares your mind.
And when anxiety does show up?
You’re not fighting it from the ground up—you’re meeting it from a place of strength.
You’re not fighting it from the ground up—you’re meeting it from a place of strength.
Find out how to get ahead of your anxiety with a free Calm-Ride Strategy Call.
I was just… tired.
Tired of the anxious thoughts.
Tired of the tight chest and constant second-guessing.
Tired of feeling like I had to manage everything just right—or else something would go wrong.
And here’s the kicker: it wasn’t just life.
My anxiety followed me into the barn.
Into the saddle.
Into the rides that were supposed to help me feel better, just like a best friend, always there.
Into the saddle.
Into the rides that were supposed to help me feel better, just like a best friend, always there.
And when a ride didn’t go well? That anxiety followed me right back into life.
It was a loop.
A tight, tangled circle I couldn’t seem to get out of.
It was a loop.
A tight, tangled circle I couldn’t seem to get out of.
We all have anxiety.
Some of us just carry it with us everywhere we go.
Some of us just carry it with us everywhere we go.
It’s like life anxiety and riding anxiety are two sides of the same coin—yin and yang, feeding off each other.
You feel overwhelmed at home or work, and suddenly your horse feels too big, too unpredictable, too much.
Or you have a bad ride, a scary moment, and suddenly everyday tasks feel heavier, harder, and more fragile.
You find yourself holding your breath and tension in your body without realizing it.
Playing out worst-case scenarios in your mind on repeat.
Playing out worst-case scenarios in your mind on repeat.
Here’s what I want you to hear, from someone who’s lived it:
You’re not broken. You’re just stuck in a loop that can be rewired.
But here’s the good news: just like that anxiety spread from one area to another, healing can spread through you too.
When I started to work on calming my nervous system—on interrupting the loop—I didn’t just become a more confident rider.
I became a more grounded woman.
I became a more grounded woman.
My horse felt it.
I felt it.
And little by little, the loop reversed.
I felt it.
And little by little, the loop reversed.
Now, I am helping others reverse their loop. Find their healing.
So if you’re tired of feeling anxious all the time—if the worry, tension, and overwhelm are stealing the joy from your life and your riding—please hear this:
You don’t have to live in that loop forever. Let me help you like I have been helping so many others to find their calm confidence.
Schedule your free Calm-Ride Strategy Call and let’s create a clear, personalized path forward—one that works for both your life and your time in the saddle.
Would you like a social post or email version to match this blog next? Or want help adding keywords or meta tags?
If you’ve ever sat in the saddle and suddenly felt your chest tighten, your thoughts race, or your brain says, “what if something goes wrong?”—you’re not alone.
Confidence in riding doesn’t come from perfect weather, the right boots, or a well-behaved horse (though those do help!). It comes from how we handle the thoughts that pop up—especially the ones that make us doubt ourselves.
What’s the secret to building real riding confidence?
It starts with recognizing that self-doubt doesn’t mean something is wrong.
It often means you’re growing, stretching, or returning to riding after a setback.
That inner dialogue—the one that whispers things like:
- “You’re not ready.”
- “You’re not as good as other riders.”
- “You should just give up.”
...isn’t proof you’re failing. It’s proof that your brain is trying to protect you from a perceived threat—even if the “threat” is just looking less than perfect.
But confidence isn’t about silencing the inner critic forever.
It’s about not giving it the reins.
It’s about not giving it the reins.
Here are 3 practical ways to build your riding confidence:
- Name your inner critic—and then disagree with it.
Give it a silly name. Hear what it says and answer back with truth. "Thanks Nerdie, but I AM ready for this!" - Visualize successful rides.
Your brain doesn’t know the difference between imagined success and real experience. Visualizing calm, smooth rides helps your nervous system believe they’re possible—and gets you one step closer. - Celebrate courage, not just outcomes.
Rode for 10 minutes even when you were nervous? That’s courage.
Mounted up after a long break? That’s courage.
Confidence is built in these small, brave moments—not in perfection.
Every rider—even the most experienced—has moments of doubt. The key is learning to ride with the doubt.
Want more support letting go of self-doubt and reconnecting with your confidence?
Tune into the latest podcast episode: Your Inner Critic Doesn’t Get to Ride: Listen Here!
Tune into the latest podcast episode: Your Inner Critic Doesn’t Get to Ride: Listen Here!
Let’s keep riding forward—one confident step at a time.
Confidence isn’t something you either wake up with or without. It’s not a mood. It’s not a lucky streak. And it definitely isn’t reserved for “other people” who seem born with it.
Confidence is a muscle—and like any muscle, it builds over time, with repetition and practice. But what most people miss is this: confidence also has rhythm. It has movement. It grows step by step, just like learning to dance.
And here’s the thing—confidence doesn’t grow in isolation. It grows in relationship. In response. In motion. It’s like dancing. You learn the steps, you miss a few, you trip, you laugh, and you keep going. The question is: who or what are you dancing with?
Are you dancing with:
- Perfectionism that leads and pulls you too tight?
- Self-doubt whispering every wrong move in your ear?
- Or are you partnered with curiosity, willingness, and a little courage?
Confidence builds when you keep moving, even when the music changes.
That means showing up for yourself on the days you’d rather hide.
It means trying the new thing before you feel ready.
It means trusting your own rhythm—even when someone else would do it differently.
It means trying the new thing before you feel ready.
It means trusting your own rhythm—even when someone else would do it differently.
The good news? You don’t have to start big. Confidence doesn’t demand a spotlight. It just asks for one small move forward. Then another. Then one more. Every repetition, every try, every “I did it anyway” adds weight to the muscle—and grace to your steps.
So if you’re feeling offbeat, out of sync, or like you’re fumbling through life’s choreography—breathe. You’re not failing. You’re training. I started out looking like Elaine on Friends! Hahaha.
Confidence doesn’t come from waiting to feel brave. It comes from moving anyway—and realizing you didn’t fall apart. That’s the rhythm. That’s how the muscle grows. That’s the dance.
Want help finding your next step in the dance? Tune into Episode 108 of the podcast: Confidence Isn’t a Mood, It’s a Muscle. I’ll walk you through how to stop waiting for confidence to arrive—and start building it, one move at a time. Podcast
