Why Emotional Resets Matter for Riders
Riding isn’t just about technique, tack, or training—it’s about partnership. And that partnership is built on trust. Your horse looks to you for leadership, calm, and confidence. When your emotions spiral out of control, your horse feels it immediately.
That’s why emotional reset tools aren’t just “nice-to-haves.” They’re non-negotiables for riders who want safe, joyful, and connected rides.
We all know what it feels like when fear or anxiety creeps in. Maybe your heart starts racing before a ride, or you tense up the moment your horse spooks at something, you may not even see. The problem is, once your body goes into survival mode, your horse often follows suit.
Without a way to reset, things can escalate fast—for both of you. But when you have a tool that helps you pause, ground yourself, and redirect your energy, you’re showing your horse: I’ve got this. That reassurance creates safety and trust on both sides.
The Safety Net Every Rider Needs
Think of emotional reset tools as your contingency plan. Just like we wear helmets for physical protection, these tools protect your partnership emotionally. When nerves flare or frustration sneaks in, you have a simple, reliable way to get back to calm before things spiral.
This isn’t about perfection. It’s about being prepared. Having an emotional reset tool in your back pocket means you can recover quickly—so instead of ending a ride in tension, you can return to joy and connection.
Knowledge Builds Confidence
The beauty of reset tools is that they aren’t complicated. Whether it’s grounding with your senses, singing, moving your body, or playing a quick mental game, these techniques give you practical steps to take when your emotions threaten to take over. What works for one person, may not work for everyone so play with them and see which one works for you.
The more you use them, the more your confidence grows. You stop fearing the “what ifs” because you know what to do when emotions rise up. That confidence spills over to your horse, and together, you both relax.
✨ Your horse doesn’t need you to be fearless. They need you to be steady. Emotional reset tools give you the ability to reset, refocus, and ride forward with clarity and calm.
👉 Want to know my 5 favorite emotional reset tools? I put them together in a quick guide just for riders like you. These are the exact tools I use myself and with clients to bring calm back in seconds.
Grab your free copy here ➡️ 5 Favorite Emotional Reset Tools
“Am I going to die?”
That’s the question I asked the paramedic at least a hundred times on the hour-long drive to the hospital. A 17.3-hand horse had flipped onto me—no helmet, the saddle horn in my gut, pinned against a tree. I felt crushed from head to toe; certain I wouldn’t make it.
Physically, I was lucky. My body healed quickly.
Emotionally? Not so lucky. That accident hijacked my confidence.
Emotionally? Not so lucky. That accident hijacked my confidence.
A few seconds was all it took to bury my courage so deep it felt like I’d never find it again. What should have been months of healing turned into 20 years of battling fear, avoiding rides, and trying to figure out what went wrong.
Here’s the truth: your confidence can be stolen in a moment. But it doesn’t have to stay gone.
The good news: you can take it back.
The bad news: it takes work.
The better news: there’s a faster way forward than the decades it took me.
The bad news: it takes work.
The better news: there’s a faster way forward than the decades it took me.
After 20 years of trial and error, I discovered the three areas every rider must work on to reclaim confidence:
1. The conscious mind.
This is the “loud voice” in your head—the part that keeps replaying fear and feeding doubt. Left unchecked, it buries confidence in the shadows. The good news? There are tools to flip that script. My favorite is Courage Pennies—a simple practice of noticing where you already show confidence in daily life and letting those wins add up. (If you don’t have my Ultimate Guide to Courage Pennies eBook yet, grab it here!)
This is the “loud voice” in your head—the part that keeps replaying fear and feeding doubt. Left unchecked, it buries confidence in the shadows. The good news? There are tools to flip that script. My favorite is Courage Pennies—a simple practice of noticing where you already show confidence in daily life and letting those wins add up. (If you don’t have my Ultimate Guide to Courage Pennies eBook yet, grab it here!)
2. The subconscious mind.
Your subconscious has one mission: keep you safe. But it often confuses “safe” with “stuck.” Old beliefs and fears can dig in hard. I used to try and slowly reprogram this by working only at the conscious level—it worked, but it was painfully slow. That’s why now I pair conscious tools with deeper methods like NLP and hypnotherapy to help riders shift their subconscious faster.
Your subconscious has one mission: keep you safe. But it often confuses “safe” with “stuck.” Old beliefs and fears can dig in hard. I used to try and slowly reprogram this by working only at the conscious level—it worked, but it was painfully slow. That’s why now I pair conscious tools with deeper methods like NLP and hypnotherapy to help riders shift their subconscious faster.
3. The body.
When I wasn’t riding much, my body wasn’t in riding shape. And every ounce of stiffness, weakness, or imbalance just amplified my fear. The great news is that physical strength and health are the easiest to change—when you make them a priority, your body supports your confidence instead of undermining it. (I’m 61 and honestly feel better now than I did at 20!)
Confidence can be hijacked in a heartbeat, but it doesn’t have to stay missing. You can reclaim it—by training your conscious mind, rewiring your subconscious, and caring for your body so it supports your courage.
So let me ask you:
👉 What’s one step you can take this week to start freeing your confidence again?
👉 What’s one step you can take this week to start freeing your confidence again?
As riders, we get pretty good at reading our horses. We notice the flick of an ear, the tightening of a muscle, or that quick intake of breath. We step in before fear escalates, giving our horse the reassurance and structure they need to feel safe.
But when it comes to our own fear? We tend to do the exact opposite. We ignore it, fight it, or push ourselves harder until it finally explodes—loud, messy, and usually at the worst possible time.
Here are three of the biggest mistakes riders make when battling fear—and the better way forward.
🐴 Mistake #1: Trying to ignore fear completely
We wouldn’t dream of ignoring a horse who’s anxious and jittery, so why do we expect ourselves to “just push through”? When fear is shoved down, it doesn’t disappear—it builds pressure until it bursts.
We wouldn’t dream of ignoring a horse who’s anxious and jittery, so why do we expect ourselves to “just push through”? When fear is shoved down, it doesn’t disappear—it builds pressure until it bursts.
The shift: Instead of silencing fear, acknowledge it. Treat it like you would your horse’s signals—valuable information about what’s going on. Naming it takes away its power. Use the information to find your calm before continuing.
🐴 Mistake #2: Comparing yourself to other riders
You’ve probably said it before: “She doesn’t get scared—why can’t I be like that?” But comparison is like throwing fuel on fear’s fire. Horses don’t all react the same way, and neither do people. Your fear doesn’t make you less of a rider—it makes you human.
You’ve probably said it before: “She doesn’t get scared—why can’t I be like that?” But comparison is like throwing fuel on fear’s fire. Horses don’t all react the same way, and neither do people. Your fear doesn’t make you less of a rider—it makes you human.
The shift: Focus on your own progress, not someone else’s timeline. Celebrate the quiet victories—mounting without hesitation, breathing deeply in the arena, taking one confident step at a time. Celebration instead of comparison will have your confidence filling up in no time.
🐴 Mistake #3: Jumping ahead too fast
Imagine asking a nervous horse to go from spooking at a leaf to calmly hacking down a busy road in one day. That would backfire, right? Yet we often demand the same of ourselves—rushing into situations we’re not ready for, then feeling crushed when it doesn’t go well.
Imagine asking a nervous horse to go from spooking at a leaf to calmly hacking down a busy road in one day. That would backfire, right? Yet we often demand the same of ourselves—rushing into situations we’re not ready for, then feeling crushed when it doesn’t go well.
The shift: Slow it down. Build layer upon layer of trust, just like you would with your horse. Small, consistent steps create confidence that lasts. Go just to the edge of your comfort zone and take one step, not 20.
Your horse needs patience, compassion, and structure when they’re afraid—and so do you. The next time fear whispers (or shouts), remember: you can choose to respond to yourself with the same care you give your horse. That’s where real confidence begins.
If you would like a little help building your confidence, schedule a Calm-Ride Strategy call and I can help you with planning your next few steps and accomplishing them.
I remember my first few rounds in the big Grand Prix field. I went in to the ring terrified. I had jumped the jumps at home, but in the big ring, they looked huge. Instead of taking a deep breath and reframing the fear to how much fun it was going to be compete in the big ring, a dream I had had for a long time, I froze in the saddle. I made it around the course the first two times and then the third was a wreck because I had become so stiff my horse was having to jump in spite of me.
As riders, we spend so much time learning to read our horses.
We know the flick of an ear, a swish of the tail, or a tight back can all mean, “Something isn’t right.” And we don’t wait until they’re blowing up to respond—we step in early, calm them, and guide them through it before things spiral.
But here’s the thing: most of us don’t give ourselves that same kind of care.
Instead of listening to our own subtle signals, we push past them. We shrug off the sweaty palms, the tight shoulders, the butterflies in our tummies, the nervous chatter in our heads. We tell ourselves, “Just get on with it.” And when we ignore those whispers? That’s when fear has no choice but to get louder—until it’s screaming at us in the middle of a ride.
Your fear isn’t trying to sabotage you. It’s trying to get your attention, just like your horse does when he’s bothered. The problem is, we only pay attention once it’s escalated.
What if you treated yourself like you do your horse?
That means:
- Noticing the first signs of unease (your whispers).
- Acknowledging them instead of bulldozing past.
- Reframing those triggers into something constructive. - Just like we would do with our horse.
Example: instead of “I can’t do this, I’m going to mess up,” reframe it as “This is me stretching my comfort zone, and that means growth.” Then practice that new thought the same way you’d practice a transition—calm, clear, and consistent.
Your horse learns trust and confidence when you step in early and guide him through the little things. You can build the same trust with yourself. Catch the whispers before they become shouts, and your fear doesn’t have to run the show.
Because here’s the truth: you and your horse both deserve that level of attention.
Want to feel like you’re getting coached by me—in your own place to recognize the whispers and change them?
The Confidence Blueprint is like having me in your corner—guiding you through 9 simple, powerful principles to rebuild your confidence from the inside out.
This isn’t fluff. It’s a framework I use with my private clients—and you can start today.
All for just $17—for a limited time.
It’s more than a PDF. It’s a private workshop in your back pocket.
When anxiety hits, it feels like your body is hijacked. Your stomach flips, your chest tightens, your thoughts start racing — and all you want is relief right now. If you’re a rider, those feelings can show up at the barn, on the mounting block, or even just thinking about getting on your horse.
So, what actually helps with anxiety immediately?
The good news is, there are simple tools you can use anywhere, anytime to calm your body and mind. Here are three of my favorites:
1. Name Five Things....
This helps you STOP, look around, breath, and really see what is around you, no matter the situation. It’s a quick way to retrain your brain and body. As you look around at things to name, your nervous system begins to respond to you instead of running wild. Within minutes, you feel more in control and grounded.
This helps you STOP, look around, breath, and really see what is around you, no matter the situation. It’s a quick way to retrain your brain and body. As you look around at things to name, your nervous system begins to respond to you instead of running wild. Within minutes, you feel more in control and grounded.
2. Alphabet Game
Start at A and think of something that starts with A, Apple. Then move to B, Banana. Etc. What this does is it distracts your brain from triggering the anxiety and it acts as an interrupt. When you are feeling calm again, then go back to what you were doing that caused the anxiety. If it happens again, pick up where you left off in the alphabet and then you can just repeat if you need a little more. You can also find things you see that start with each letter.
3. Rock It Out (Your Body Remembers Safety)
Think about how babies are soothed — they’re rocked. That same rhythm works for you, too. Whether you gently sway side to side, shift your weight in your chair, or even let your horse’s walk carry you, rocking helps calm your nervous system. It’s like pressing “reset” on your body’s stress response. Within moments, you’ll feel more grounded and supported, ready to carry on with confidence.
Think about how babies are soothed — they’re rocked. That same rhythm works for you, too. Whether you gently sway side to side, shift your weight in your chair, or even let your horse’s walk carry you, rocking helps calm your nervous system. It’s like pressing “reset” on your body’s stress response. Within moments, you’ll feel more grounded and supported, ready to carry on with confidence.
Anxiety doesn’t vanish forever in one moment. But these tools can help you shift your state immediately so that you don’t spiral into full panic mode. And the more often you practice them, the faster your confidence grows — both in and out of the saddle.
If you’ve been struggling with riding anxiety, know this: you’re not broken, and you don’t have to just “push through.” With the right tools, you can calm your nerves in minutes and start enjoying your horse again.
Want more step-by-step support? That’s exactly what I cover in my Confidence Blueprint. This is a complete workshop in an ebook that you can get here! For a limited time, it is only $17 and will take you through a full Confidence building workshop.
