That first day I jumped 1.2M was exhilarating and terrifying.
We had a small jump leading up to the big one, and just looking at it made my stomach do flip-flops. My horse had jumped much bigger fences before, but this was a first for me. I remember all the thoughts racing through my mind: I could just get off and say I have a headache or feel nauseous. I knew my trainer would see right through it and make me do it anyway, so I kept those thoughts to myself.
I did jump the fence, and it felt like flying. I learned a lot about anxiety, fear, and doing it anyway. I also learned the importance of preparation. We’ve all done something spur-of-the-moment and realized we weren’t quite as ready as we should have been. Overcoming anxiety in the saddle is no different.
Here are three things you can do before you ever put your butt in the saddle:
1. Have the right equipment. I had a saddle that wasn’t built for jumping 1.2M fences, and it was clear I needed a new one. Proper equipment for your safety and comfort can significantly reduce anxiety.
2. Know your horse is ready. Is your horse calm while tacking up and at the mounting block? Are you calm? (If you’d like a copy of my pre-ride checklist for horse and rider, CLICK HERE!)
3. Have a plan for emergencies. Will you dismount or stay on? Are you prepared for a buck, rear, spook, or bolt? Know what you’ll do in each situation.
Here are four things you can do while riding:
1. Stay stable in the saddle. I love the 80/20 rule from Alicia Dickenson: 80% of your weight should be in the stirrup (like standing on the ground), with 20% in the rest of your legs and seat. Practice this as you ride.
2. Exhale. Exhaling helps release anxiety. Picture a Ferris wheel or waves at the beach as you breathe in and out. Holding your breath only increases tension, so focus on breathing through your anxiety.
3. Have a plan. Plans can change, but at least know what you want to do before you ride. The unknown can ramp up anxiety.
4. Focus 100 feet ahead. Don’t worry about what’s closer. Stay focused on where you're going so your horse knows the journey's direction.
If you would like to have some fun overcoming anxiety, saving up courage pennies is a fun way to do it. You can get my free eBook, The Ultimate Guide to Courage Pennies!
It may sound a little crazy, but it’s possible to enjoy anxiety—or at least embrace it as part of you.
I recently worked with a young lady who was terrified of her anxiety. She thought it needed to be fixed, but together we realized her anxiety was part of who she was—and she could use it for good. It didn’t happen overnight, but we worked through it, and one of our key conversations was about this: As long as we have to deal with anxiety, we might as well enjoy it.
When I first started trying this with horses, I was surprised by how much easier it got. The more I allowed myself to embrace the anxiety, the more it seemed to fade. Joy slowly began to replace fear, a little at a time.
Here’s the best advice I’ve learned:
1. Feel Grateful for Your Anxiety.
- I know it sounds strange, but try to feel grateful for your anxiety. It’s there to protect you. When you appreciate its role in keeping you safe, it loses some of its power. The more you can feel joy and gratitude for how anxiety has served you, the quicker it will retreat.
2. Look for the Lesson in the Anxiety.
- Anxiety often arises from uncertainty, but it can also be a sign that you’re growing. Instead of viewing it as a threat, ask yourself: What is this teaching me? Maybe it’s prompting you to slow down, take action, or trust yourself. Reframing anxiety as a guide rather than an enemy shifts your relationship with it.
3. Practice Micro-Moments of Calm.
- You don’t have to erase anxiety all at once. Focus on finding small moments of calm during anxious episodes. Whether it’s a few deep breaths, feeling the ground beneath you, or simply being present, these “micro-moments” can help reset your nervous system and break the cycle of anxiety.
4. Redirect Your Focus to the Present.
- Anxiety thrives on worry about the future. Instead of spiraling, bring your focus back to the present. Engage in something you enjoy—whether it’s spending time with your horse, walking outside, or simply breathing deeply. By grounding yourself in the now, you take away anxiety’s grip on you.
Embracing anxiety isn’t about eliminating it—it’s about accepting it as part of your journey. Over time, the more you embrace it, the less power it holds. With patience, you can learn to use anxiety as a tool for growth, calm, and peace.
If you are wanting to enjoy your anxiety a little bit more, we can also do a Hypnotherapy session to reset to a clean slate and make that joy come even faster! Set up a chat to see if this would be a good fit for you! Book a Time to Chat!
It was a beautiful day—sun shining, the smell of hay being cut, and I was out riding my horse around the farm. It was so relaxing and peaceful… until it wasn’t. My horse saw something off in the distance and lifted her head. A perfectly simple thing for her to do, but for me, my anxiety spiked just from that one small movement.
We all have those moments, don’t we? Whether it’s from a past experience, like mine, or just life throwing us curveballs, anxiety can sneak up on us at the most unexpected times. But we can figure out what triggers it and learn to turn those moments into opportunities to calm ourselves, rather than spiral into panic.
So, how do we do that?
1. Identify the Triggers
The first step is awareness. Start by making a list of your triggers. It’s not always about getting rid of them, but about knowing what they are. That way, you can be prepared when they show up.
2. Celebrate the Triggers
I know it sounds counterintuitive but try to see your triggers as opportunities for growth. They’re not just things that set off anxiety, they’re chances to practice finding your calm. Treat them with gratitude for the lessons they bring.
3. Set Up a Breathing Response for Each Trigger
Now, here’s where you get proactive. Next to each trigger, assign your favorite calming breathing technique. Personally, I love the Ferris Wheel technique, where I imagine breathing in as I ride the Ferris wheel up, and exhaling all the anxiety as I ride it back down. Square breathing works really well too: breathe in for 4 counts, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4—repeat. Whatever works best for you, make it your go-to.
4. Visualize a Better Outcome
Take some time to imagine a better response to each trigger. Picture yourself handling the situation calmly and confidently. The more you practice this visualization, the more natural it becomes to respond with calm rather than anxiety when those triggers show up in real life.
By practicing these steps, you can retrain your mind and body to move from anxiety to calm, even in those moments when it feels impossible.
If you are interested, after you have your trigger list, we can also do a Hypnotherapy session to reduce the triggers and reset to a clean slate. This is really fun! Set up a chat to see if this would be a good fit for you! Book a Time to Chat!
I was tacking up Taika for a ride on a lovely spring day. We had spent time together as I groomed, and she ate hay off the round bale. I put the saddle on and as I ducked down to get the girth from the other side, I saw two hind feet headed right into Taika's side, the side away from me. She was kicked so hard, Taika, the saddle and I all ended up on top of the round bale in a heap. Taika had stood there and protected me, kept me safe. All I could think was I am so sorry Taika; I had no idea. The more I thought about it, the more I realized, horses don't say sorry. Horses are confident in who they are, in their being.
As I sat there reflecting on the incident, I realized how often we, as humans, apologize for things outside our control. Horses, on the other hand, live in the moment. They respond to situations based on their instincts and experiences, not out of guilt or the need to please others.
Embracing Confidence Like a Horse
So, how can we learn from Taika and the horses in our lives? Here are a few key takeaways:
1. Live Authentically: Horses are true to themselves, responding genuinely to their environment. Embrace your authentic self without feeling the need to apologize for who you are.
2. Respond, Don’t React: Just as Taika instinctively reacted to the kick, we should learn to respond to situations thoughtfully rather than letting fear or insecurity drive our reactions.
3. Practice Self-Compassion: Instead of saying “I’m sorry,” practice self-compassion. Acknowledge your feelings without diminishing your confidence. It’s okay to make mistakes; they are part of growth.
4. Stay Present: Horses live in the moment, focusing on their immediate environment. When we remain present, we can respond to challenges with clarity and confidence.
5. Cultivate Confidence: Just like Taika stood tall after the incident, we can work on building our confidence through self-care, reflection, and embracing our strengths.
As we move forward, we can commit to being more intentional with our words and actions. We can channel that horse-like confidence, letting go of unnecessary apologies and embracing our true self.
Final Thoughts
The next time you find yourself saying “I’m sorry” when it’s unwarranted, pause and reflect. Ask yourself: What would my horse do? It’s time to learn from our equine friends and embody the confidence they naturally exude.
Let’s strive to be more like Taika—strong, confident, and unapologetically ourselves.
Ready to Stand Confidently in Your Own Strength?
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Michelle and I were standing in the shade of a big tree, watching a session at the clinic. It was one of the hottest days of summer, and Michelle had dozed off, resting peacefully. The guy sitting next to us finished his bottle of water and crushed it, and suddenly, Michelle jolted awake. She leaped so high that it looked like she might get stuck in the tree!
This moment reminded me of a few important things: the fear was perceived, not real; that water bottle wouldn’t have eaten her! It highlighted a gap in her emotional well-being—a fear of loud, unexpected noises. I realized how similar this was to our fears about riding. Could this experience be used to help us, just as I helped her overcome her fear?
Here’s what I found that can help you transform fear into courage:
1. Practice Perceived Fear and Remaining Calm: I turned to YouTube and started watching short clips of horses loping with riders. As my fear began to surface, I focused on remaining calm. I practiced feeling my calm flow into the horses’ calm. I examined my fears and triggers, watching these clips while envisioning how I would handle those situations—safely seated in my chair.
2. Use the 80/20 Technique: Inspired by Alicia Dickinson, I practiced the 80/20 method, which involves putting 80% of your weight in your stirrups and 20% through the rest of your legs and seat. I practiced sitting on the edge of a chair, on an exercise ball, and finally on my horse. This sturdy feeling really helped turn my fear of falling into confidence, as it felt like I was just standing on solid ground, balanced.
3. Plan for Your Fears: Create a list of your fears and triggers, then plan how you would handle each one. Practice this plan until you feel confidence growing and fear fading away.
4. Implement Your Practice: Once you’ve practiced, it’s time to get back in the saddle! Make adjustments as needed, continuing to build your tools for confidence. With each step, you’ll find your fears becoming smaller and smaller.
Ready to Transform Your Fear into Courage?
Let’s chat! I offer personalized services tailored to your unique needs. Whether you’re looking to build confidence in the saddle or overcome specific fears, I’m here to help. Schedule a chat with me today! Together, we can create a plan that works for you!
