I was just… tired.
Tired of the anxious thoughts.
Tired of the tight chest and constant second-guessing.
Tired of feeling like I had to manage everything just right—or else something would go wrong.
And here’s the kicker: it wasn’t just life.
My anxiety followed me into the barn.
Into the saddle.
Into the rides that were supposed to help me feel better, just like a best friend, always there.
Into the saddle.
Into the rides that were supposed to help me feel better, just like a best friend, always there.
And when a ride didn’t go well? That anxiety followed me right back into life.
It was a loop.
A tight, tangled circle I couldn’t seem to get out of.
It was a loop.
A tight, tangled circle I couldn’t seem to get out of.
We all have anxiety.
Some of us just carry it with us everywhere we go.
Some of us just carry it with us everywhere we go.
It’s like life anxiety and riding anxiety are two sides of the same coin—yin and yang, feeding off each other.
You feel overwhelmed at home or work, and suddenly your horse feels too big, too unpredictable, too much.
Or you have a bad ride, a scary moment, and suddenly everyday tasks feel heavier, harder, and more fragile.
You find yourself holding your breath and tension in your body without realizing it.
Playing out worst-case scenarios in your mind on repeat.
Playing out worst-case scenarios in your mind on repeat.
Here’s what I want you to hear, from someone who’s lived it:
You’re not broken. You’re just stuck in a loop that can be rewired.
But here’s the good news: just like that anxiety spread from one area to another, healing can spread through you too.
When I started to work on calming my nervous system—on interrupting the loop—I didn’t just become a more confident rider.
I became a more grounded woman.
I became a more grounded woman.
My horse felt it.
I felt it.
And little by little, the loop reversed.
I felt it.
And little by little, the loop reversed.
Now, I am helping others reverse their loop. Find their healing.
So if you’re tired of feeling anxious all the time—if the worry, tension, and overwhelm are stealing the joy from your life and your riding—please hear this:
You don’t have to live in that loop forever. Let me help you like I have been helping so many others to find their calm confidence.
Schedule your free Calm-Ride Strategy Call and let’s create a clear, personalized path forward—one that works for both your life and your time in the saddle.
Would you like a social post or email version to match this blog next? Or want help adding keywords or meta tags?
My accident lasted 60 seconds.
That was it.
That was it.
But I spent hours—many, many hours—replaying those 60 seconds in my mind. I was stuck. Fixated on the rearview mirror.
Have you ever caught yourself looking back a little too long?
(Or maybe a lot too long?)
(Or maybe a lot too long?)
Whether it's in life or in the saddle, we all drift into the past sometimes—mistakes, regrets, or just how things used to be. And while a quick glance back can be helpful, if you stare too long, you miss what’s ahead.
It’s like driving. You have a destination in mind. You’re enjoying the journey.
But if you're constantly checking the rearview mirror?
You miss what’s in front of you.
Worse—you might crash.
But if you're constantly checking the rearview mirror?
You miss what’s in front of you.
Worse—you might crash.
The same thing happens in our riding lives. I’ve worked with so many riders stuck in a loop of looking back—accidents, scary moments, or just that heavy fear that it could all go wrong again. I get it. I was that rider too.
But here’s the truth:
Your future is created by what you do now—not by what happened back then.
Your future is created by what you do now—not by what happened back then.
Your past can inform you, but it doesn’t get to author what comes next.
When I finally stopped obsessing over what had gone wrong—every fall, every bad ride, every haunting what if—that’s when things started to shift. I began to ride toward the future I wanted to enjoy, not the one I feared.
Just like on a trail ride, you may glance back now and then. But then you return your focus to the path ahead—the beauty around you, the destination that’s calling your name.
So what does the trail ahead look like for you?
Maybe it’s riding with joy again.
Maybe it’s just getting back in the saddle without that knot in your stomach.
Maybe it’s finally trusting yourself—and your horse.
Maybe it’s just getting back in the saddle without that knot in your stomach.
Maybe it’s finally trusting yourself—and your horse.
Whatever it is, don’t let the rearview hold you back.
Glance if you need to.
Then bring your eyes forward.
The trail ahead is waiting.
Glance if you need to.
Then bring your eyes forward.
The trail ahead is waiting.
If you’d like a little help designing that path in front of you, book a free Calm-Ride Strategy Call. Let’s create your roadmap to riding with confidence again.
I spent years getting myself ready.
Getting my horse ready.
Preparing all the details.
And still... I wasn’t riding out of the arena.
Getting my horse ready.
Preparing all the details.
And still... I wasn’t riding out of the arena.
What I didn’t realize was that the one tiny thing that would change everything was also the simplest:
I took action.
I got on and rode four steps.
That’s it. Just four.
But those four steps were like magic.
I celebrated. I smiled for a week.
And the next time? I looked forward to four more.
I celebrated. I smiled for a week.
And the next time? I looked forward to four more.
That simple, tiny action changed everything.
Momentum had begun.
Momentum had begun.
Try These Tiny Shifts to Create Big Riding Momentum:
Take Four Steps
This one’s my favorite—and for good reason.
Get on and ride four steps. Then pause.
Ask yourself:
This one’s my favorite—and for good reason.
Get on and ride four steps. Then pause.
Ask yourself:
- Do I want to take four more?
- Turn around and go back?
- Or just get off and celebrate?
On my very first four steps, I chose to get off. And I still count that as a HUGE win.
Because the action—not the distance—is what creates momentum.
Because the action—not the distance—is what creates momentum.
Make a Comfort Zone Plan
Define your edge—not someone else’s.
What feels just slightly stretchy but not scary?
That’s your zone. Make a plan that brings you to the edge—not over it.
Then stop there. Smile. Celebrate. You just moved forward.
Define your edge—not someone else’s.
What feels just slightly stretchy but not scary?
That’s your zone. Make a plan that brings you to the edge—not over it.
Then stop there. Smile. Celebrate. You just moved forward.
Too often, we think we have to leap to grow.
But the truth is, confidence is built in small, do-able steps that feel like yours.
But the truth is, confidence is built in small, do-able steps that feel like yours.
There is plenty of time to go to the edge again and again and when you are ready, these little actions you have been building up, will make going over the edge, expanding your comfort zone, easier and you will have momentum behind you!
So many times we don't see our comfort zone, or our path to momentum and that is where I can help out. Set up a quick (free) calm-ride strategy call and let's see if we can get your momentum moving again.
Your blog draft is heartfelt, relatable, and powerful—you're drawing a strong parallel between personal growth, horsemanship, and leadership. It’s very “you,” which is great for connection. With just a few tweaks for clarity, flow, and polish (without losing your voice), here's a refined version that will hit even harder:
The Power of Matching Energy: A Lesson from Horses and Humans
I had a HUGE aha moment this week during a book club review with some expert hypnotherapists. I was asking about a challenge I faced during a call—someone completely took over the conversation, and I kept quietly trying to interject and calm her down.
The feedback I got stopped me in my tracks:
“You can’t gently interrupt. You have to match her energy or she’ll never hear you.”
WHOA.
They weren’t saying I needed to be mean. They were saying I needed to rise to her level. Raise my tone, raise my presence, and take charge of the space.
And immediately, I thought: This is exactly like working with our horses.
If a horse is ignoring you—like mine used to when I asked her to turn left—soft whispers won’t do a thing. She needed clarity. Direction. Presence. Not pressure, not punishment, but energy that matched hers enough to be heard.
And here's the kicker… I was whispering because I was afraid of making a mistake.
Afraid of doing it wrong. Afraid of being too strong.
Afraid of doing it wrong. Afraid of being too strong.
But our horses don’t follow whispers.
They follow leadership. (Sometimes that is a whisper, sometimes, that is a shout!)
They follow leadership. (Sometimes that is a whisper, sometimes, that is a shout!)
Sometimes, those of us who are naturally soft and careful—trying so hard to do it right—end up creating the very confusion we’re trying to avoid. But that’s something we can fix.
Don’t be afraid to make mistakes.
Here are my top 3 tips for not letting fear of mistakes take the reins:
1. Mistakes can be fixed.
My lead mare might pin her ears one time and swing her butt the next. Either way, the other horses move. Neither was “wrong”—it was communication. She doesn’t sit there worrying, “Oh no, was that too rough?” She communicates clearly.
You can too.
If you're a little too strong with your horse, adjust the next time. But don’t be afraid to be firm first—that’s how they know you mean it.
My lead mare might pin her ears one time and swing her butt the next. Either way, the other horses move. Neither was “wrong”—it was communication. She doesn’t sit there worrying, “Oh no, was that too rough?” She communicates clearly.
You can too.
If you're a little too strong with your horse, adjust the next time. But don’t be afraid to be firm first—that’s how they know you mean it.
2. Never question your leadership.
Be the unapologetic leader your horse needs.
Set clear rules. Be consistent. And most importantly, feel that leadership inside you.
When you trust yourself, there's no space for fear—and if you do make a mistake, you know you can fix it.
Be the unapologetic leader your horse needs.
Set clear rules. Be consistent. And most importantly, feel that leadership inside you.
When you trust yourself, there's no space for fear—and if you do make a mistake, you know you can fix it.
3. Learn from every mistake.
Every ride is a lesson.
You will make mistakes. That’s not failure—that’s feedback.
Plan for mistakes. Expect them. Then learn and adjust.
The fear fades when you realize you’re always able to repair, reset, and keep growing.
Every ride is a lesson.
You will make mistakes. That’s not failure—that’s feedback.
Plan for mistakes. Expect them. Then learn and adjust.
The fear fades when you realize you’re always able to repair, reset, and keep growing.
You don’t have to get it perfect. You just have to show up with presence, clarity, and a willingness to lead—even if it’s messy at first. That’s the energy your horse will respond to. And honestly? So will the rest of your life!
Ready to stop whispering and start leading in the saddle?
Let’s work through your fear together. Book a free Calm-Ride Strategy Call and get a clear plan to ride with confidence again.
Let’s work through your fear together. Book a free Calm-Ride Strategy Call and get a clear plan to ride with confidence again.
Ready. Fire. Aim. (Yes, You Read That Right)
When I got back into riding after my accident, I was deep in “getting ready” mode. Safety equipment? Check. Vet visits? Check. Pre-ride checklists? Yep. I was doing everything… except actually riding.
That’s when I stumbled on a concept that changed everything: Ready. Fire. Aim.
It sounded backwards at first. But when I really understood it—and applied it to my riding—it unlocked a whole new level of progress.
Here’s how it works:
- READY – Do your preparation. Of course, this matters. We need to feel grounded and safe before we climb in the saddle.
- FIRE – Get on and ride. Don’t wait for every star to align. Perfect prep doesn't exist.
- AIM – Evaluate, adjust, and improve after the ride. The real data comes from doing.
This method is powerful because it short-circuits our fear loops. If we wait until everything feels perfect, we may never ride again. The mind can trap us in an endless cycle of “what ifs” and “not yets.” Our intentions are good, but the longer we wait, the harder it is to remember why we started in the first place.
Riding happens in the “fire” step. Confidence grows in the “aim.”
You don’t have to be fearless. You just have to be willing to act before you're 100% ready.
Want help knowing where to start—and what to adjust?
That’s exactly what we do in the Calm-Ride Strategy Call. It’s a private call where we map out your version of “Ready. Fire. Aim.” so you can get unstuck, ride with more confidence, and enjoy the journey again.
It’s free. It’s personalized. And it’s your first real step out of preparation mode and into forward motion.
