Riding around the warm-up ring, trying to survive the chaos of horses going in all directions, my nerves made me feel sick before I even entered the ring. All I could think about was keeping my horse safe and the possibility of making a mistake that could hurt him. This was my anxiety—the fear of failure, of causing harm.
As riders, we all know that feeling of anxiety creeping in—whether it's before a big competition, an unfamiliar course, or just the pressure to perform well. For years, I struggled with anxiety in my riding, and I know many of you can relate. But here's the truth: it doesn’t have to control us. Over time, I discovered a few powerful mindset shifts that helped me finally overcome my anxiety, and I want to share them with you.
1. Embrace Imperfection – Mistakes Help Us Learn
The first shift was realizing that mistakes aren’t the enemy—they’re part of the process. For so long, I beat myself up over every misstep. Each mistake felt like failure, and that only fueled my anxiety. But once I embraced imperfection, I started seeing mistakes as opportunities to learn and grow. The more I accepted that I wouldn’t be perfect every time, the less pressure I put on myself, and the more I could focus on improving.
Next time you make a mistake, ask yourself: What can I learn from this? Use it as fuel to grow.
2. Shift From Fear to Curiosity – Explore the Fear
Anxiety thrives on fear. For a long time, I avoided the things that made me anxious, but that only let the fear grow. The game-changer for me was leaning into fear with curiosity. Instead of asking, what if I fail? I asked, why do I feel this way?
Exploring my anxiety helped me understand its root and take away its power. I realized that fear isn’t a signal to stop—it’s a signal to pay attention, learn, and grow. Curiosity is key to overcoming anxiety.
3. Build Momentum – Soak Up Courage Pennies!
Every time I took a small courageous step; I added a courage penny to my bank. The more courage pennies I collected, the less room there was for anxiety. I started with small, achievable goals—like taking a deep breath before each ride or focusing on one part of my course. Each small win built my confidence and shifted my mindset.
The more I practiced facing anxiety head-on, the more control I gained. Anxiety became less of a roadblock and more of a sign that I was growing.
Beat Your Anxiety!
If you’re looking for extra support to face your riding anxiety head-on, my Courage Coaching Program is here for you. We’ll work on strategies to strengthen your mindset, embrace challenges, and turn setbacks into steppingstones. Whether you want to improve your riding performance or just build more confidence in everyday life, I’m here to help.
Click HERE to learn more and join the program. Let’s tackle this journey together!
It was an early, chilly morning—the kind where your breath forms little clouds in the air, and even the horses’ breaths steam in the crisp atmosphere. I stood at the in-gate, trying to memorize my course and the jump-off for the first class of the day. The biting cold made my hands shake, and I could feel the tremors travel all the way to my brain, making it harder to concentrate. With so many jumps to remember, I knew if I didn’t focus, the whole thing could fall apart.
We all face challenges—whether it’s riding, studying for a test, or dealing with personal struggles. And while these challenges can be daunting, overcoming them builds our mental resilience. As I prepared for my ride, I reflected on how resilience isn’t just about toughing things out—it’s about growing stronger from the obstacles we face.
Here are a few things that have helped me improve my mental resilience over time:
1. Embrace Challenges as Opportunities to Grow
Instead of seeing challenges as roadblocks, try to view them as opportunities to grow. For example, that cold morning at the in-gate wasn’t just about memorizing jumps—it was a chance to strengthen my focus and determination. Write down the challenges in your life and think about how they could help you grow. Even setbacks can lead to valuable lessons if you approach them with the right mindset.
2. Learn from Mistakes and Setbacks
When things don’t go as planned, it’s easy to get frustrated. But I’ve learned that the most valuable lessons come from reflecting on our mistakes. Take a moment to review where things went wrong and consider what you could do differently next time. For me, this meant reviewing how I prepared for that morning’s class and deciding I needed to sharpen my focus in colder weather. This process of reflection helps build mental toughness and resilience for the future.
3. Set and Revisit Your Goals (Even the Ones You Failed)
This is one of my favorite ways to practice resilience. We all have goals we’ve set and, for one reason or another, didn’t achieve. When I look back at my past resolutions—like the ones I made every New Year but never followed through on—I realize that accomplishing them would have brought me joy. But instead of beating myself up, I took a different approach: I set a new goal to laugh 400 times a day. It was too big to measure, but it kept me looking for moments of joy in every day, which made me more resilient in the process.
These are just a few ways to help you develop mental resilience in riding and in life. Remember, the key is not to avoid challenges, but to meet them with a mindset that lets you grow stronger each time.
Ready to build your mental resilience and take your riding (and life) to the next level?
If you’re looking for a little extra guidance and support to help you face challenges head-on and grow stronger, my Courage Coaching Program might be just what you need. Together, we’ll work on strategies to strengthen your mindset, embrace challenges, and turn setbacks into steppingstones.
If you’re looking for a little extra guidance and support to help you face challenges head-on and grow stronger, my Courage Coaching Program might be just what you need. Together, we’ll work on strategies to strengthen your mindset, embrace challenges, and turn setbacks into steppingstones.
Whether you’re looking to improve your riding performance or simply build more confidence in everyday life, I’m here to help you take that next step. Click HERE to learn more and join the program. Let’s tackle this journey together!
After my accident, I unknowingly spent 20 years living in my own comfort zone. During this time, I avoided trail riding and hacking out with my horses, things I once loved. When I did the math, it shocked me—those 20 years equaled 7,300 opportunities I missed to trail ride. We all have that line, the edge that we struggle to cross, maybe it is mounting, trail riding, cantering, or even in some cases, leading your horse. There is a point, the edge of the comfort zone, that we go from confidence to anxiety or even fear.
Think of your home. It’s your sanctuary, a place where you feel safe and protected from the chaos of the world. Your home is where you rest, recharge, and feel secure. In many ways, your comfort zone is like a subconscious "home" you create for yourself. It’s the mental space where you feel emotionally and physically safe, free from risk, uncertainty, and fear. But just like any home, staying within your comfort zone can eventually limit your experiences and growth.
Our comfort zones are designed to keep us safe from perceived threats—whether emotional, physical, or psychological. They offer a sense of security and stability, much like the four walls of a home. However, staying in that bubble for too long can prevent us from venturing out into the world. It can keep us from embracing new opportunities, trying new things, and facing our fears. There isn't anything wrong with this and each person has to decide if and when they cross the edge of their comfort zone.
The problem with living in a constant state of safety is that life outside the comfort zone is where growth happens. It’s in those moments of discomfort—when we step outside our bubble—that we learn, build resilience, and discover new strengths.
When I finally realized how much time I had lost to fear, I knew I had to push myself beyond the bubble. It wasn’t easy, but every step outside of my comfort zone brought me closer to rediscovering the joy of riding and living fully.
If you’re stuck in your own comfort zone, it’s time to start earning those Courage Pennies. The first step is always the hardest, but with each small victory, you’ll feel more empowered. To help you get started on your journey, I’m offering a free eBook, The Ultimate Guide to Courage Pennies. Inside, you’ll find simple yet powerful steps to help you build courage and move beyond your comfort zone.
Don’t wait another 7,300 opportunities. Take the first step toward living a fuller, braver life today.
Sitting in the warmup ring on my cute gray thoroughbred mare, tears streaming down my face, realizing that once again, I did not have the confidence to ride her through her attitude. I got off and handed her to the teenager to get on and work her through her attitude. What did this young lady have that I didn't have? Confidence. She was half my age, had far less riding experience than I did and yet, here I was, sitting on the sidelines while she "fixed" my horse. We all have those moments when our anxiety and fear get the best of us.
How can we build up our confidence so that we are not the ones sitting on the sidelines?
First, soak up moments of courage outside of riding. The more confidence and courage you have in anything, the more you have in riding. Look for little areas in life where you did something you didn't "FEEL" like doing. You took the courage to do it. For me, going to the dentist is huge. I have built up so much confidence, I now sleep at the dentist. Are there areas in your life outside of riding that you need a bit of courage. Weight loss? Getting healthy? Going to the dentist? Soak up the courage pennies when you have those moments.
Second, while riding, practice getting a little anxious and then coming back to calm. For me, the trigger is the horse lifting their head. I can focus on feeling that anxiety when my horse lifts their head and then feel that go through me and out my fingers and toes. Filling myself back up with calm. As I come back to calm, it feels rewarding and the more I do it, the easier it becomes.
Third, focus on where you are going and what you are doing. Keep the focus on the ride. Shush the what if and monkey chatter and come back to focus. We all have that background talk that can escalate our anxiety, but we also have the ability to move past that and focus in the moment.
Building confidence is a process, but it starts with one small step. Whether you're struggling with riding, facing a personal fear, or just trying to boost your everyday courage, every "courage penny" you earn counts. To help you start building your confidence, download my free eBook, The Ultimate Guide to Courage Pennies. Inside, you’ll find practical steps to help you face fear and build a more confident, courageous mindset—both in and out of the saddle.
Start today. You’ve got this.
That beautiful evening trail ride, which ended just 60 seconds after I mounted the horse when he flipped on me, changed who I was inside my head. Before the accident, I loved riding on the trails. The freedom and the flow with the horse through beautiful country felt it would last forever. But after those 60 seconds, everything changed.
I started questioning myself: Why had that moment affected me so much? As I looked deeper into it, I began to examine my self-talk, and it was like a light went on. So many times, the dialogue in our heads is far harsher than anything we would ever say out loud to others. And mine? It was filled with thoughts like, “I'm not good enough to ride.” “What if I get hurt?” and “Maybe I’m not cut out for this.” I was talking myself out of enjoying the very thing that once brought me peace and joy.
These negative thoughts are the dreams killers—the things we tell ourselves that slowly fade our passions and hold us back.
Here are a few things you can do to change your self-talk:
1. Know What You Are Saying
First, recognize what you're telling yourself. Write it down and take time to reflect on the soundtrack that loops in your mind. Just getting it out on paper is a powerful first step. Acknowledging the negative self-talk is key to changing it. Remember, there’s hope for transformation once you become aware of it.
2. Reframe the Self-Talk
After identifying the negative thoughts, work on reframing the words. Write a new script for yourself and practice saying it out loud. For example, instead of thinking, “What if I get hurt?” try “I am confident and capable. I trust my skills and my horse.” Shifting the narrative in your mind will change the way you show up in the world.
3. Practice, Practice, Practice
Think back to school days when we had to write things over and over—“I will not talk in class”—well, the same principle applies. Once you’ve reframed your self-talk, practice it consistently. Write it down repeatedly, say it aloud in front of a mirror, or even speak it to your horse. Over time, these positive script and reframe, will become your new internal dialogue.
Whatever you do, remember this: Change is possible. And it is incredibly rewarding to feel empowered and positive again. By shifting how we talk to ourselves, we unlock the potential to live our dreams with confidence.
Need help making lasting changes in your life? I have other exercises like this in my Courage Coaching. Click here to find out if it's a good fit for you!
