Well, if you had asked me that a few years ago, I probably would’ve said… twenty years.
Twenty years.
Because that’s how long it took me to claw my way back after one terrifying moment shattered my confidence.
Sixty seconds of panic stole decades of courage.
That’s the truth—and yes, that’s heartbreaking.
That’s the truth—and yes, that’s heartbreaking.
But it’s also why I do what I do now.
Because I don’t want it to take you twenty years.
Because I don’t want it to take you twenty years.
When I was rebuilding my confidence, I had no roadmap. I fought my way through every book, every clinic, every self-help approach and therapists. The process worked—eventually. It was solid. It was necessary. But it was also slow.
And time is something we don’t get back.
I even wrote a book about that long road back—and it’s a good one, full of helpful strategies.
But if I were starting over today, I’d change the beginning, then follow the process I put in the book.
But if I were starting over today, I’d change the beginning, then follow the process I put in the book.
I’d start at the end.
I know—sounds backward.
But what I’ve learned over the last two years changes everything.
But what I’ve learned over the last two years changes everything.
The end of my journey—where I finally reset the fear, cleared the nerves, and felt like me again—is now the beginning of the process I walk my clients through.
And it works.
Sometimes in just one or two 40-minute sessions.
I’m talking about deep nervous system reset.
Not just mindset pep talks.
Real rewiring that lets you start clean—like the fearless kid you used to be, before the “What ifs” took over.
Does it still take mindfulness and follow-up?
Yes.
But instead of crawling back over years, you get a head start.
You start with confidence in the saddle—and then you build strength to hold it.
Yes.
But instead of crawling back over years, you get a head start.
You start with confidence in the saddle—and then you build strength to hold it.
So, if you’re wondering how long it really takes to get your confidence back…
The answer is:
Not as long as you think.
Not as long as you think.
Not anymore.
And if you’re ready to explore that kind of reset, I’d love to walk you through it.
Book a free Calm-Ride Strategy Call and let’s get you started where most people finish.
Book a free Calm-Ride Strategy Call and let’s get you started where most people finish.
My horse was ready.
The mounting block was set up perfectly.
She stood quietly, waiting for me to show up.
The mounting block was set up perfectly.
She stood quietly, waiting for me to show up.
But I couldn’t do it.
It was one of my first rides after my accident, and I felt like I was going to be sick. The fear was loud, sharp, and real. I knew this moment mattered. It was now or never.
I had to show fear who was boss.
But there I was—frozen—right on the mounting block.
Then a thought popped into my head.
And it turned out to be one of the best thoughts I’ve ever had:
And it turned out to be one of the best thoughts I’ve ever had:
"What would your trainer do if she were standing here with your horse?"
She would get on. No drama. No debate.
So why not pretend to be her?
No one said I had to be me in that moment.
Why not channel the confidence of someone I trust?
Why not channel the confidence of someone I trust?
And just like that, a deep calm settled over me.
I got on. Put my feet in the irons. Rode off—cool as a cucumber.
I got on. Put my feet in the irons. Rode off—cool as a cucumber.
And it felt amazing.
Since then, I’ve made this part of my routine. On days when I’m feeling unsure or rusty, I "become" one of my favorite trainers before I even leave the house. I switch it up from time to time to keep it fresh—and it’s actually fun.
Here’s why it works so well:
- It shifts your imagination: Instead of imagining everything that could go wrong, you’re rehearsing success—based on someone you respect.
- It focuses your mind: You start to think like a capable, confident rider—how they prepare, how they respond, how they carry themselves.
- It quiets the “what ifs”: There’s simply no room left for anxious brain static.
So here’s your challenge for the next month:
Become your favorite trainer.
What would they feel? What would they do? How would they prepare?
Fill up with their calm, their certainty—and let it squeeze out the fear.
And when you try it, I’d love to hear about it.
What trainer did you pick? How did it go?
What trainer did you pick? How did it go?
And if you want some help creating your own confidence persona, I’d love to support you.
Book a free Calm-Ride Strategy Call and we’ll create a plan that works for you.
Book a free Calm-Ride Strategy Call and we’ll create a plan that works for you.
People often assume confidence is something you're either born with or without.
But I’m living proof that it’s something you learn—by showing up, trying, failing, and trying again.
When I was five, I competed solo in dinghy sailboat races. Just me and the wind.
The first few times? I missed the wind angles completely.
I bobbed around while the other kids zipped ahead.
The first few times? I missed the wind angles completely.
I bobbed around while the other kids zipped ahead.
But over time, I learned how to feel the shift in the breeze. I learned how to tack, how to recover, how to trust myself on the water.
That skill didn’t just help me win races—it gave me confidence that stuck.
That skill didn’t just help me win races—it gave me confidence that stuck.
And I carried that confidence right into my next wild adventure:
I bought a 2-year-old unbroke Shetland pony colt (yes, really) and trained him to trail ride—by myself.
No trainers. No horsey parents. Just me, a scrappy pony, and a whole lot of learning.
I bought a 2-year-old unbroke Shetland pony colt (yes, really) and trained him to trail ride—by myself.
No trainers. No horsey parents. Just me, a scrappy pony, and a whole lot of learning.
Was I scared sometimes? Of course.
But I didn’t wait for confidence to magically appear.
I built it. One tiny success at a time.
But I didn’t wait for confidence to magically appear.
I built it. One tiny success at a time.
Confidence Isn't Born—It's Built
So, if you’re sitting there thinking,
"I wish I felt more confident riding…”
Let me tell you something:
"I wish I felt more confident riding…”
Let me tell you something:
You’re not missing something.
You’re not broken.
You just haven’t had enough reps yet.
You’re not broken.
You just haven’t had enough reps yet.
Confidence grows when you try.
It gets stronger when you learn.
And it becomes part of you when you realize—“Hey, I did that.”
It gets stronger when you learn.
And it becomes part of you when you realize—“Hey, I did that.”
And you can.
Need help building your riding confidence? Let’s talk. Book a free Calm-Ride Strategy Call and let’s create your confidence roadmap—one real, doable step at a time. 🐴
When anxiety hits, it feels urgent.
Your chest tightens. Your mind races. You just want it to stop—now.
Your chest tightens. Your mind races. You just want it to stop—now.
And while I wish I could give you a magic “off switch,” the truth is… anxiety didn’t form in an instant.
It built itself over time—through experiences, habits, thoughts, and patterns you may not even remember.
It built itself over time—through experiences, habits, thoughts, and patterns you may not even remember.
So expecting it to dissolve in an instant?
That’s a heavy ask for your nervous system.
That’s a heavy ask for your nervous system.
But here’s the good news: there are ways to get immediate help.
Not the kind that erases anxiety forever, but the kind that interrupts the cycle just enough to give you space.
To breathe.
To choose something different.
Not the kind that erases anxiety forever, but the kind that interrupts the cycle just enough to give you space.
To breathe.
To choose something different.
Ferris Wheel Breathing
Yep—like the carnival ride.
Here’s how it works:
- Close your eyes (or soften your gaze).
- As you inhale, imagine your breath slowly rising up one side of the Ferris wheel.
- At the top, pause—like you’re taking in the view.
- As you exhale, your breath comes gently down the other side.
- At the bottom, pause again—safe and grounded—before starting the next circle.
Breathe in — ride up.
Pause — enjoy the view.
Breathe out — ride down.
Pause — feel the earth.
Pause — enjoy the view.
Breathe out — ride down.
Pause — feel the earth.
You’re not just visualizing.
You’re re-training your nervous system to connect breath + safety + rhythm.
You’re creating motion inside the stillness.
You’re re-training your nervous system to connect breath + safety + rhythm.
You’re creating motion inside the stillness.
And guess what?
Even just one loop can shift something.
That’s a win.
Even just one loop can shift something.
That’s a win.
Don’t Wait for the Panic — Build Confidence Before You Need It
Ferris Wheel Breathing and visualization work beautifully in the moment—but what if we didn’t wait for the panic to hit?
What if, instead of scrambling for tools in the middle of a meltdown, you already had a strong foundation built?
That’s the difference between coping and preparing.
When you intentionally build confidence—through mental rehearsal, mindset work, and nervous system resets—you start riding into situations with resilience already on board.
You’re not starting at zero.
You’re not hoping you can manage it.
You’ve trained for this.
You’re not hoping you can manage it.
You’ve trained for this.
How Do You Build That Kind of Confidence?
This is where deeper tools come in—like hypnotherapy, NLP, and structured courage coaching.
These tools don’t just patch over the fear.
They reset the brain and body to feel safe again.
They help you create a calm baseline before the ride, before the challenge, before your fear takes the wheel.
They reset the brain and body to feel safe again.
They help you create a calm baseline before the ride, before the challenge, before your fear takes the wheel.
Think of it as mental conditioning for your nervous system.
Just like physical training prepares your muscles, this prepares your mind.
Just like physical training prepares your muscles, this prepares your mind.
And when anxiety does show up?
You’re not fighting it from the ground up—you’re meeting it from a place of strength.
You’re not fighting it from the ground up—you’re meeting it from a place of strength.
Find out how to get ahead of your anxiety with a free Calm-Ride Strategy Call.
The fear sat around stewing in my head like it belonged there after my accident.
It replayed itself in high definition. Over and over. The fall. The moment everything changed. I couldn’t stop seeing it—feeling it—like my brain had decided it was the most important event of my life.
Someone once told me that we only remember 8 or 9 bits of data out of the millions that happen in any moment.
And when I heard that, I paused.
Because if my brain was only going to remember a few bits… why did it have to be the worst ones?
Why not choose better memory bits?
Why not turn the memory into something useful… or even funny?
I started imagining the whole thing like a Saturday morning cartoon.
ACME-style.
Wile E. Coyote. Foghorn Leghorn. Bugs Bunny.
Maybe I flew through the air with a comically long whistle. Maybe a puff of dust where I hit the ground. Maybe I stood up, hair frazzled, holding a crooked sign that said, “Well, that escalated quickly!”
ACME-style.
Wile E. Coyote. Foghorn Leghorn. Bugs Bunny.
Maybe I flew through the air with a comically long whistle. Maybe a puff of dust where I hit the ground. Maybe I stood up, hair frazzled, holding a crooked sign that said, “Well, that escalated quickly!”
And I laughed.
That laughter cracked something open.
The grip fear had on me loosened.
The grip fear had on me loosened.
Because I wasn’t stuck inside the memory anymore—I was re-authoring it.
Falling Off Hurts — But It Doesn’t Get to Write Your Future
3 Steps to Regain Confidence After a Fall
Step 1: Acknowledge What Happened Without Letting It Define You
Don’t minimize it. Don’t dramatize it. Just say it like it is:
“I fell. It scared me. But I’m still here. And I’m choosing to heal.”
Your brain wants resolution. It wants safety. And naming the truth without judgment is step one.
Step 2: Choose Better Bits (Yes, Even the Funny Ones)
You get to choose what parts of the memory stay active.
Was your horse already apologizing with their eyes?
Did you land in a way that made you look like a lawn dart?
Can you picture Bugs Bunny calmly munching a carrot nearby?
Was your horse already apologizing with their eyes?
Did you land in a way that made you look like a lawn dart?
Can you picture Bugs Bunny calmly munching a carrot nearby?
Let your imagination play with it.
Laughter rewires fear. It creates safety. It gives you back your power.
Step 3: Rebuild With Repetition and Momentum
Start small. Groom your horse. Breathe next to them. Go for a short walk.
Then ride at the walk. Then the trot. No pressure. Just presence.
Then ride at the walk. Then the trot. No pressure. Just presence.
Confidence isn’t built by pretending you’re not afraid.
It’s built by proving—bit by bit—that you’re safe again.
It’s built by proving—bit by bit—that you’re safe again.
And each small success?
Another bit worth remembering.
You’re Not Broken — You’re Becoming
You don’t have to go back to who you were.
You can become someone wiser. Stronger. Kinder to yourself.
You can become someone wiser. Stronger. Kinder to yourself.
And if you need help choosing the better bits?
Let’s talk. Book your free Calm-Ride Strategy Call and let’s create your new story—one built on courage, joy, and maybe a little bit of Bugs Bunny. 🥕
