People often assume confidence is something you're either born with or without.
But I’m living proof that it’s something you learn—by showing up, trying, failing, and trying again.
When I was five, I competed solo in dinghy sailboat races. Just me and the wind.
The first few times? I missed the wind angles completely.
I bobbed around while the other kids zipped ahead.
The first few times? I missed the wind angles completely.
I bobbed around while the other kids zipped ahead.
But over time, I learned how to feel the shift in the breeze. I learned how to tack, how to recover, how to trust myself on the water.
That skill didn’t just help me win races—it gave me confidence that stuck.
That skill didn’t just help me win races—it gave me confidence that stuck.
And I carried that confidence right into my next wild adventure:
I bought a 2-year-old unbroke Shetland pony colt (yes, really) and trained him to trail ride—by myself.
No trainers. No horsey parents. Just me, a scrappy pony, and a whole lot of learning.
I bought a 2-year-old unbroke Shetland pony colt (yes, really) and trained him to trail ride—by myself.
No trainers. No horsey parents. Just me, a scrappy pony, and a whole lot of learning.
Was I scared sometimes? Of course.
But I didn’t wait for confidence to magically appear.
I built it. One tiny success at a time.
But I didn’t wait for confidence to magically appear.
I built it. One tiny success at a time.
Confidence Isn't Born—It's Built
So, if you’re sitting there thinking,
"I wish I felt more confident riding…”
Let me tell you something:
"I wish I felt more confident riding…”
Let me tell you something:
You’re not missing something.
You’re not broken.
You just haven’t had enough reps yet.
You’re not broken.
You just haven’t had enough reps yet.
Confidence grows when you try.
It gets stronger when you learn.
And it becomes part of you when you realize—“Hey, I did that.”
It gets stronger when you learn.
And it becomes part of you when you realize—“Hey, I did that.”
And you can.
Need help building your riding confidence? Let’s talk. Book a free Calm-Ride Strategy Call and let’s create your confidence roadmap—one real, doable step at a time. 🐴
When anxiety hits, it feels urgent.
Your chest tightens. Your mind races. You just want it to stop—now.
Your chest tightens. Your mind races. You just want it to stop—now.
And while I wish I could give you a magic “off switch,” the truth is… anxiety didn’t form in an instant.
It built itself over time—through experiences, habits, thoughts, and patterns you may not even remember.
It built itself over time—through experiences, habits, thoughts, and patterns you may not even remember.
So expecting it to dissolve in an instant?
That’s a heavy ask for your nervous system.
That’s a heavy ask for your nervous system.
But here’s the good news: there are ways to get immediate help.
Not the kind that erases anxiety forever, but the kind that interrupts the cycle just enough to give you space.
To breathe.
To choose something different.
Not the kind that erases anxiety forever, but the kind that interrupts the cycle just enough to give you space.
To breathe.
To choose something different.
Ferris Wheel Breathing
Yep—like the carnival ride.
Here’s how it works:
- Close your eyes (or soften your gaze).
- As you inhale, imagine your breath slowly rising up one side of the Ferris wheel.
- At the top, pause—like you’re taking in the view.
- As you exhale, your breath comes gently down the other side.
- At the bottom, pause again—safe and grounded—before starting the next circle.
Breathe in — ride up.
Pause — enjoy the view.
Breathe out — ride down.
Pause — feel the earth.
Pause — enjoy the view.
Breathe out — ride down.
Pause — feel the earth.
You’re not just visualizing.
You’re re-training your nervous system to connect breath + safety + rhythm.
You’re creating motion inside the stillness.
You’re re-training your nervous system to connect breath + safety + rhythm.
You’re creating motion inside the stillness.
And guess what?
Even just one loop can shift something.
That’s a win.
Even just one loop can shift something.
That’s a win.
Don’t Wait for the Panic — Build Confidence Before You Need It
Ferris Wheel Breathing and visualization work beautifully in the moment—but what if we didn’t wait for the panic to hit?
What if, instead of scrambling for tools in the middle of a meltdown, you already had a strong foundation built?
That’s the difference between coping and preparing.
When you intentionally build confidence—through mental rehearsal, mindset work, and nervous system resets—you start riding into situations with resilience already on board.
You’re not starting at zero.
You’re not hoping you can manage it.
You’ve trained for this.
You’re not hoping you can manage it.
You’ve trained for this.
How Do You Build That Kind of Confidence?
This is where deeper tools come in—like hypnotherapy, NLP, and structured courage coaching.
These tools don’t just patch over the fear.
They reset the brain and body to feel safe again.
They help you create a calm baseline before the ride, before the challenge, before your fear takes the wheel.
They reset the brain and body to feel safe again.
They help you create a calm baseline before the ride, before the challenge, before your fear takes the wheel.
Think of it as mental conditioning for your nervous system.
Just like physical training prepares your muscles, this prepares your mind.
Just like physical training prepares your muscles, this prepares your mind.
And when anxiety does show up?
You’re not fighting it from the ground up—you’re meeting it from a place of strength.
You’re not fighting it from the ground up—you’re meeting it from a place of strength.
Find out how to get ahead of your anxiety with a free Calm-Ride Strategy Call.
The fear sat around stewing in my head like it belonged there after my accident.
It replayed itself in high definition. Over and over. The fall. The moment everything changed. I couldn’t stop seeing it—feeling it—like my brain had decided it was the most important event of my life.
Someone once told me that we only remember 8 or 9 bits of data out of the millions that happen in any moment.
And when I heard that, I paused.
Because if my brain was only going to remember a few bits… why did it have to be the worst ones?
Why not choose better memory bits?
Why not turn the memory into something useful… or even funny?
I started imagining the whole thing like a Saturday morning cartoon.
ACME-style.
Wile E. Coyote. Foghorn Leghorn. Bugs Bunny.
Maybe I flew through the air with a comically long whistle. Maybe a puff of dust where I hit the ground. Maybe I stood up, hair frazzled, holding a crooked sign that said, “Well, that escalated quickly!”
ACME-style.
Wile E. Coyote. Foghorn Leghorn. Bugs Bunny.
Maybe I flew through the air with a comically long whistle. Maybe a puff of dust where I hit the ground. Maybe I stood up, hair frazzled, holding a crooked sign that said, “Well, that escalated quickly!”
And I laughed.
That laughter cracked something open.
The grip fear had on me loosened.
The grip fear had on me loosened.
Because I wasn’t stuck inside the memory anymore—I was re-authoring it.
Falling Off Hurts — But It Doesn’t Get to Write Your Future
3 Steps to Regain Confidence After a Fall
Step 1: Acknowledge What Happened Without Letting It Define You
Don’t minimize it. Don’t dramatize it. Just say it like it is:
“I fell. It scared me. But I’m still here. And I’m choosing to heal.”
Your brain wants resolution. It wants safety. And naming the truth without judgment is step one.
Step 2: Choose Better Bits (Yes, Even the Funny Ones)
You get to choose what parts of the memory stay active.
Was your horse already apologizing with their eyes?
Did you land in a way that made you look like a lawn dart?
Can you picture Bugs Bunny calmly munching a carrot nearby?
Was your horse already apologizing with their eyes?
Did you land in a way that made you look like a lawn dart?
Can you picture Bugs Bunny calmly munching a carrot nearby?
Let your imagination play with it.
Laughter rewires fear. It creates safety. It gives you back your power.
Step 3: Rebuild With Repetition and Momentum
Start small. Groom your horse. Breathe next to them. Go for a short walk.
Then ride at the walk. Then the trot. No pressure. Just presence.
Then ride at the walk. Then the trot. No pressure. Just presence.
Confidence isn’t built by pretending you’re not afraid.
It’s built by proving—bit by bit—that you’re safe again.
It’s built by proving—bit by bit—that you’re safe again.
And each small success?
Another bit worth remembering.
You’re Not Broken — You’re Becoming
You don’t have to go back to who you were.
You can become someone wiser. Stronger. Kinder to yourself.
You can become someone wiser. Stronger. Kinder to yourself.
And if you need help choosing the better bits?
Let’s talk. Book your free Calm-Ride Strategy Call and let’s create your new story—one built on courage, joy, and maybe a little bit of Bugs Bunny. 🥕
When the fear took hold after my accident, I felt so lost and alone. Nobody understood my fear—especially me.
I had always been the fearless kid.
The courageous one getting all of us into trouble.
The one who rode alone in the Angeles National Forest before school.
The courageous one getting all of us into trouble.
The one who rode alone in the Angeles National Forest before school.
So how could this fear have come over me?
And more importantly—why was it holding me hostage?
And more importantly—why was it holding me hostage?
Could I get my courage back?
And if so, how?
And if so, how?
These are the questions we ask ourselves when we’re sitting alone with our fear.
Our friends tell us to “just get on and ride.”
Or worse: “Show that horse who’s boss.”
Or worse: “Show that horse who’s boss.”
But it’s not that simple.
Because fear rewires the nervous system. It can strip away confidence that once came so naturally. And when that happens, we begin to wonder if we’ll ever feel brave again.
Here’s what I want you to know:
Even in our deepest fear, we can learn courage.
We can turn back the clock and reclaim the confidence that feels so far away.
We can turn back the clock and reclaim the confidence that feels so far away.
Maybe our courage was genetic at first. But once it’s been shaken—or taken—we absolutely can rebuild it.
So how do we get it back?
Step One: Make the decision to get it back.
This might sound too simple, but it’s the key.
When you decide—really decide—that you’re ready to reclaim your courage, doors begin to open. The right people, tools, and solutions start showing up.
This might sound too simple, but it’s the key.
When you decide—really decide—that you’re ready to reclaim your courage, doors begin to open. The right people, tools, and solutions start showing up.
Step Two: Make the plan.
How will you get it back?
For me, it was a long road: preparation, knowledge, experience, therapy.
But there are faster ways too—like a reset hypnotherapy session or a tailored NLP session to help your mind and body recalibrate after an accident.
How will you get it back?
For me, it was a long road: preparation, knowledge, experience, therapy.
But there are faster ways too—like a reset hypnotherapy session or a tailored NLP session to help your mind and body recalibrate after an accident.
Step Three: Take the first step—and keep going.
This one is critical. Courage grows with momentum.
The more you move, the more confidence you build.
The more confidence you build, the more freedom you feel.
This one is critical. Courage grows with momentum.
The more you move, the more confidence you build.
The more confidence you build, the more freedom you feel.
You can do this.
You don’t have to stay stuck.
You don’t have to stay afraid.
These three steps are how I found my way back into the saddle—and they can help you do the same.
If you're ready to take that first step, let's talk. Book a free Calm-Ride Strategy Call and let’s start building your personalized courage comeback.
I was just… tired.
Tired of the anxious thoughts.
Tired of the tight chest and constant second-guessing.
Tired of feeling like I had to manage everything just right—or else something would go wrong.
And here’s the kicker: it wasn’t just life.
My anxiety followed me into the barn.
Into the saddle.
Into the rides that were supposed to help me feel better, just like a best friend, always there.
Into the saddle.
Into the rides that were supposed to help me feel better, just like a best friend, always there.
And when a ride didn’t go well? That anxiety followed me right back into life.
It was a loop.
A tight, tangled circle I couldn’t seem to get out of.
It was a loop.
A tight, tangled circle I couldn’t seem to get out of.
We all have anxiety.
Some of us just carry it with us everywhere we go.
Some of us just carry it with us everywhere we go.
It’s like life anxiety and riding anxiety are two sides of the same coin—yin and yang, feeding off each other.
You feel overwhelmed at home or work, and suddenly your horse feels too big, too unpredictable, too much.
Or you have a bad ride, a scary moment, and suddenly everyday tasks feel heavier, harder, and more fragile.
You find yourself holding your breath and tension in your body without realizing it.
Playing out worst-case scenarios in your mind on repeat.
Playing out worst-case scenarios in your mind on repeat.
Here’s what I want you to hear, from someone who’s lived it:
You’re not broken. You’re just stuck in a loop that can be rewired.
But here’s the good news: just like that anxiety spread from one area to another, healing can spread through you too.
When I started to work on calming my nervous system—on interrupting the loop—I didn’t just become a more confident rider.
I became a more grounded woman.
I became a more grounded woman.
My horse felt it.
I felt it.
And little by little, the loop reversed.
I felt it.
And little by little, the loop reversed.
Now, I am helping others reverse their loop. Find their healing.
So if you’re tired of feeling anxious all the time—if the worry, tension, and overwhelm are stealing the joy from your life and your riding—please hear this:
You don’t have to live in that loop forever. Let me help you like I have been helping so many others to find their calm confidence.
Schedule your free Calm-Ride Strategy Call and let’s create a clear, personalized path forward—one that works for both your life and your time in the saddle.
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