I used to think calm horses created calm riders—until I had a “been there, done that” jumper that I made anxious. What?? Yes, it was me, not him.
He was such a good boy, even with my extreme tension. But over time, he started reacting—triggered by my fears. Especially at the in-gate, waiting to go in for our jumper rounds.
That’s where my nerves were at their peak.
As I worked on my confidence, I could feel him shifting back to confidence too. It didn’t happen overnight. It took time for him to trust me again. But once he did, our shared confidence led to more enjoyable rides—even in competition.
A few things I realized:
- You can’t fake it ‘til you make it with horses. They know. You actually have to find real ways to feel confident. My favorite strategy was focusing on things I was confident in—even if they weren’t directly related to the fear. For example, I felt confident hacking, so I focused on walking to the warm-up ring and moving him laterally. I didn’t think about the course or the jumping at all. Focusing on what I could do helped me stay grounded, and once I was in the ring, I was fine.
- The little things matter. As soon as an anxious thought popped into my head, I’d replace it with something else—before it spiraled into a whole chain of anxiety. I practiced this even when I wasn’t riding, so it became second nature in the saddle. The key was catching that very first thought.
- Build a foundation of courage. The “courage pennies” concept helped me so much. Every time I did something that showed confidence or courage, I added it to my mental bank. Over time, those pennies built a solid foundation.(Want to learn more? Grab The Ultimate Guide to Courage Pennies—get your eBook here!)
The truth is: a rider’s confidence has more impact on a horse’s confidence than we realize. Building our own confidence is a skill—and it’s one that can transform our rides, our connection, and our joy in the saddle.
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