The fear sat around stewing in my head like it belonged there after my accident.
It replayed itself in high definition. Over and over. The fall. The moment everything changed. I couldn’t stop seeing it—feeling it—like my brain had decided it was the most important event of my life.
Someone once told me that we only remember 8 or 9 bits of data out of the millions that happen in any moment.
And when I heard that, I paused.
Because if my brain was only going to remember a few bits… why did it have to be the worst ones?
Why not choose better memory bits?
Why not turn the memory into something useful… or even funny?
I started imagining the whole thing like a Saturday morning cartoon.
ACME-style.
Wile E. Coyote. Foghorn Leghorn. Bugs Bunny.
Maybe I flew through the air with a comically long whistle. Maybe a puff of dust where I hit the ground. Maybe I stood up, hair frazzled, holding a crooked sign that said, “Well, that escalated quickly!”
ACME-style.
Wile E. Coyote. Foghorn Leghorn. Bugs Bunny.
Maybe I flew through the air with a comically long whistle. Maybe a puff of dust where I hit the ground. Maybe I stood up, hair frazzled, holding a crooked sign that said, “Well, that escalated quickly!”
And I laughed.
That laughter cracked something open.
The grip fear had on me loosened.
The grip fear had on me loosened.
Because I wasn’t stuck inside the memory anymore—I was re-authoring it.
Falling Off Hurts — But It Doesn’t Get to Write Your Future
3 Steps to Regain Confidence After a Fall
Step 1: Acknowledge What Happened Without Letting It Define You
Don’t minimize it. Don’t dramatize it. Just say it like it is:
“I fell. It scared me. But I’m still here. And I’m choosing to heal.”
Your brain wants resolution. It wants safety. And naming the truth without judgment is step one.
Step 2: Choose Better Bits (Yes, Even the Funny Ones)
You get to choose what parts of the memory stay active.
Was your horse already apologizing with their eyes?
Did you land in a way that made you look like a lawn dart?
Can you picture Bugs Bunny calmly munching a carrot nearby?
Was your horse already apologizing with their eyes?
Did you land in a way that made you look like a lawn dart?
Can you picture Bugs Bunny calmly munching a carrot nearby?
Let your imagination play with it.
Laughter rewires fear. It creates safety. It gives you back your power.
Step 3: Rebuild With Repetition and Momentum
Start small. Groom your horse. Breathe next to them. Go for a short walk.
Then ride at the walk. Then the trot. No pressure. Just presence.
Then ride at the walk. Then the trot. No pressure. Just presence.
Confidence isn’t built by pretending you’re not afraid.
It’s built by proving—bit by bit—that you’re safe again.
It’s built by proving—bit by bit—that you’re safe again.
And each small success?
Another bit worth remembering.
You’re Not Broken — You’re Becoming
You don’t have to go back to who you were.
You can become someone wiser. Stronger. Kinder to yourself.
You can become someone wiser. Stronger. Kinder to yourself.
And if you need help choosing the better bits?
Let’s talk. Book your free Calm-Ride Strategy Call and let’s create your new story—one built on courage, joy, and maybe a little bit of Bugs Bunny. 🥕
My accident lasted 60 seconds.
That was it.
That was it.
But I spent hours—many, many hours—replaying those 60 seconds in my mind. I was stuck. Fixated on the rearview mirror.
Have you ever caught yourself looking back a little too long?
(Or maybe a lot too long?)
(Or maybe a lot too long?)
Whether it's in life or in the saddle, we all drift into the past sometimes—mistakes, regrets, or just how things used to be. And while a quick glance back can be helpful, if you stare too long, you miss what’s ahead.
It’s like driving. You have a destination in mind. You’re enjoying the journey.
But if you're constantly checking the rearview mirror?
You miss what’s in front of you.
Worse—you might crash.
But if you're constantly checking the rearview mirror?
You miss what’s in front of you.
Worse—you might crash.
The same thing happens in our riding lives. I’ve worked with so many riders stuck in a loop of looking back—accidents, scary moments, or just that heavy fear that it could all go wrong again. I get it. I was that rider too.
But here’s the truth:
Your future is created by what you do now—not by what happened back then.
Your future is created by what you do now—not by what happened back then.
Your past can inform you, but it doesn’t get to author what comes next.
When I finally stopped obsessing over what had gone wrong—every fall, every bad ride, every haunting what if—that’s when things started to shift. I began to ride toward the future I wanted to enjoy, not the one I feared.
Just like on a trail ride, you may glance back now and then. But then you return your focus to the path ahead—the beauty around you, the destination that’s calling your name.
So what does the trail ahead look like for you?
Maybe it’s riding with joy again.
Maybe it’s just getting back in the saddle without that knot in your stomach.
Maybe it’s finally trusting yourself—and your horse.
Maybe it’s just getting back in the saddle without that knot in your stomach.
Maybe it’s finally trusting yourself—and your horse.
Whatever it is, don’t let the rearview hold you back.
Glance if you need to.
Then bring your eyes forward.
The trail ahead is waiting.
Glance if you need to.
Then bring your eyes forward.
The trail ahead is waiting.
If you’d like a little help designing that path in front of you, book a free Calm-Ride Strategy Call. Let’s create your roadmap to riding with confidence again.
I spent years getting myself ready.
Getting my horse ready.
Preparing all the details.
And still... I wasn’t riding out of the arena.
Getting my horse ready.
Preparing all the details.
And still... I wasn’t riding out of the arena.
What I didn’t realize was that the one tiny thing that would change everything was also the simplest:
I took action.
I got on and rode four steps.
That’s it. Just four.
But those four steps were like magic.
I celebrated. I smiled for a week.
And the next time? I looked forward to four more.
I celebrated. I smiled for a week.
And the next time? I looked forward to four more.
That simple, tiny action changed everything.
Momentum had begun.
Momentum had begun.
Try These Tiny Shifts to Create Big Riding Momentum:
Take Four Steps
This one’s my favorite—and for good reason.
Get on and ride four steps. Then pause.
Ask yourself:
This one’s my favorite—and for good reason.
Get on and ride four steps. Then pause.
Ask yourself:
- Do I want to take four more?
- Turn around and go back?
- Or just get off and celebrate?
On my very first four steps, I chose to get off. And I still count that as a HUGE win.
Because the action—not the distance—is what creates momentum.
Because the action—not the distance—is what creates momentum.
Make a Comfort Zone Plan
Define your edge—not someone else’s.
What feels just slightly stretchy but not scary?
That’s your zone. Make a plan that brings you to the edge—not over it.
Then stop there. Smile. Celebrate. You just moved forward.
Define your edge—not someone else’s.
What feels just slightly stretchy but not scary?
That’s your zone. Make a plan that brings you to the edge—not over it.
Then stop there. Smile. Celebrate. You just moved forward.
Too often, we think we have to leap to grow.
But the truth is, confidence is built in small, do-able steps that feel like yours.
But the truth is, confidence is built in small, do-able steps that feel like yours.
There is plenty of time to go to the edge again and again and when you are ready, these little actions you have been building up, will make going over the edge, expanding your comfort zone, easier and you will have momentum behind you!
So many times we don't see our comfort zone, or our path to momentum and that is where I can help out. Set up a quick (free) calm-ride strategy call and let's see if we can get your momentum moving again.
Ready. Fire. Aim. (Yes, You Read That Right)
When I got back into riding after my accident, I was deep in “getting ready” mode. Safety equipment? Check. Vet visits? Check. Pre-ride checklists? Yep. I was doing everything… except actually riding.
That’s when I stumbled on a concept that changed everything: Ready. Fire. Aim.
It sounded backwards at first. But when I really understood it—and applied it to my riding—it unlocked a whole new level of progress.
Here’s how it works:
- READY – Do your preparation. Of course, this matters. We need to feel grounded and safe before we climb in the saddle.
- FIRE – Get on and ride. Don’t wait for every star to align. Perfect prep doesn't exist.
- AIM – Evaluate, adjust, and improve after the ride. The real data comes from doing.
This method is powerful because it short-circuits our fear loops. If we wait until everything feels perfect, we may never ride again. The mind can trap us in an endless cycle of “what ifs” and “not yets.” Our intentions are good, but the longer we wait, the harder it is to remember why we started in the first place.
Riding happens in the “fire” step. Confidence grows in the “aim.”
You don’t have to be fearless. You just have to be willing to act before you're 100% ready.
Want help knowing where to start—and what to adjust?
That’s exactly what we do in the Calm-Ride Strategy Call. It’s a private call where we map out your version of “Ready. Fire. Aim.” so you can get unstuck, ride with more confidence, and enjoy the journey again.
It’s free. It’s personalized. And it’s your first real step out of preparation mode and into forward motion.
We often think “ready” will feel like a green light. Like one day we’ll wake up with total confidence, zero nerves, and a deep, calm sense of now is the time.
But it doesn’t usually happen like that.
Real “ready” is messy.
It can show up with doubt, shaky hands, or a swirl of nerves just thinking about tacking up. It doesn’t always come with clarity. It rarely feels perfect.
The truth is, real readiness doesn’t always feel good—it just means we’re willing.
Willing to feel uncomfortable.
Willing to show up even when our legs are trembling.
Willing to say, “I want this more than I want to keep hiding.”
Willing to show up even when our legs are trembling.
Willing to say, “I want this more than I want to keep hiding.”
We tell ourselves we’ll ride when we feel more prepared. After a few more lessons. After the weather changes. After the fear goes away.
But the secret no one tells us is that confidence often comes after the action.
We build it step by step—by doing the thing.
We grow into readiness by showing up for ourselves in the small moments: brushing our horse, walking to the arena, taking one deep breath before putting a foot in the stirrup.
Yes, it’s smart to prepare. But we don’t need perfection to begin. We just need a little willingness, and maybe a little faith.
So let’s ask ourselves gently:
What if we stopped waiting to feel ready… and decided we already are? - We have the Green LIGHT!
Because once we do, everything changes.
And just so you know—we don’t have to do this alone.
I’m right here, walking this road with you, and cheering us on every step of the way.
I’m right here, walking this road with you, and cheering us on every step of the way.
If you want to build your own "Green Light", set up a free Calm-Ride Strategy Call and we will create your Grean Light together!
