I remember my first few rounds in the big Grand Prix field. I went in to the ring terrified. I had jumped the jumps at home, but in the big ring, they looked huge. Instead of taking a deep breath and reframing the fear to how much fun it was going to be compete in the big ring, a dream I had had for a long time, I froze in the saddle. I made it around the course the first two times and then the third was a wreck because I had become so stiff my horse was having to jump in spite of me.
As riders, we spend so much time learning to read our horses.
We know the flick of an ear, a swish of the tail, or a tight back can all mean, “Something isn’t right.” And we don’t wait until they’re blowing up to respond—we step in early, calm them, and guide them through it before things spiral.
But here’s the thing: most of us don’t give ourselves that same kind of care.
Instead of listening to our own subtle signals, we push past them. We shrug off the sweaty palms, the tight shoulders, the butterflies in our tummies, the nervous chatter in our heads. We tell ourselves, “Just get on with it.” And when we ignore those whispers? That’s when fear has no choice but to get louder—until it’s screaming at us in the middle of a ride.
Your fear isn’t trying to sabotage you. It’s trying to get your attention, just like your horse does when he’s bothered. The problem is, we only pay attention once it’s escalated.
What if you treated yourself like you do your horse?
That means:
- Noticing the first signs of unease (your whispers).
- Acknowledging them instead of bulldozing past.
- Reframing those triggers into something constructive. - Just like we would do with our horse.
Example: instead of “I can’t do this, I’m going to mess up,” reframe it as “This is me stretching my comfort zone, and that means growth.” Then practice that new thought the same way you’d practice a transition—calm, clear, and consistent.
Your horse learns trust and confidence when you step in early and guide him through the little things. You can build the same trust with yourself. Catch the whispers before they become shouts, and your fear doesn’t have to run the show.
Because here’s the truth: you and your horse both deserve that level of attention.
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