Overcoming My Fear Started with Safety and Barn Sour is NOT Safe!
I have received a couple of questions on buddy sour.  I have a couple of things that have worked really good for buddy sour.  
1. Feeding with the flag - from Carson James.  This one took me a few months but I was dealing with a VERY aggressive mare that had bit me in the back, kicked another horse over on me, twice, so this was first and foremost in changing her attitude.  I took the buckets of feed in to the pasture, gave my quiet mare, Taika, her food and set the aggressive mare, Binky's, food about 5 feet away.  Mostly because I had a hard enough time getting Taika to eat so I didn't want to disturb her.  I made Binky stand 50 feet off until she lowered her head and walked in respectfully.  If she even twitched an ear, she went back to 50 feet with me looking like a mountain lion, mostly for my safety, I could not be wishy washy.  I had to get my timing right and it took a few months but they now all go to their buckets and stand there waiting patiently.  If an ear flicks back, they MOVE off their feed, every single time.  What I didn't expect was how much it helped the buddy sour!  It was huge.
2. I put them in the small arena together and I just sit in the middle and hang out.  If they stay on opposite sides of the arena, not exactly but in general, I leave them alone.  They can come up to me but not in my bubble, about 3 to 5 feet away from me.  If they get onto the same side of the arena, I make them work, or at least I make the horse that approached the other one work.  I do this until I see them start to move toward each other and then turn away all on their own.  Then I know they got the lesson.  I only did this twice and never even needed to do it when I added the third horse.  I can take anyone out at any time and there is no issue.
3. I take the one out that is the worst, and start walking away, if they want to go back to their buddy, we go back and I make them move their haunches politely and softly but make them move, then move the shoulders, and just work on supple for 5 minutes or so and then I walk off like nothing different and if they want to go back, we repeat.  The combination of these has been amazing for my three mares!  Keep me posted.  There are a few other things too but these are my favorites.  
Overcoming my fear had to start with safety in all situations and learning these above things, really helped me with my safety, with their safety, and it built my courage, very fast.  I could see how leadership and partnership really wasn't as hard and scary as I thought.  Timing took a bit but the more my timing on things around them on the ground improved, so did my timing on riding.

If you would like more information on overcoming fear, or buddy sour, you are welcome to join my small FB support/cheerleading group!  Click Here.


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