I remember taking my backyard hunter—the one my parents bought for me for a fraction of what most horses at the show cost—and competing against kids whose parents were paying 100 times more. In the hunter ring, that kind of thing matters. Sure, I could give my horse a great ride, but he didn’t have the natural form or movement that would win the class… or even place in most.
What’s really wild? We were paying money to be judged.
But that experience gave me something priceless: a foundation for not caring what others think. I learned to celebrate the rides that felt great, and to reflect and improve after the ones that didn’t. It taught me to accept being judged—and let it go.
Now, years later, I hear so many friends talk about how judgment—whether direct or indirect—gets under their skin. They stress about their hair, clothes, fitting in, or looking “just right.” That feeling of being judged eats at them.
But here’s the thing: it doesn’t have to be that way. Life isn’t about anyone else—it’s about you.
My Top 3 Tips to Stop Feeling Judged
1. Write down what makes you unique.
Take 30 minutes and list all the ways you’re different from everyone you know. No two people are the same. When you truly embrace what makes you unique, other people’s opinions start to matter a whole lot less.
Take 30 minutes and list all the ways you’re different from everyone you know. No two people are the same. When you truly embrace what makes you unique, other people’s opinions start to matter a whole lot less.
2. Use this mental trick from T. Harv Eker.
The next time you feel judged, try saying this silently to yourself (not out loud—it’s not about them):
"Good morning. I don’t give a BLEEP what you think!"
You can make “bleep” whatever you want. The key is this: feeling judged isn’t about them—it’s about how grounded you feel in being you, no matter what.
The next time you feel judged, try saying this silently to yourself (not out loud—it’s not about them):
"Good morning. I don’t give a BLEEP what you think!"
You can make “bleep” whatever you want. The key is this: feeling judged isn’t about them—it’s about how grounded you feel in being you, no matter what.
3. Find your flower and let it bloom.
Pick one thing that makes you different and celebrate it. I like to think of a garden—no two flowers are the same. Some are bright, some are wild, and some have a petal or two missing. But they all open to the sun. I love the image of a slightly flawed flower shining anyway, saying, “I may be imperfect, but here I am!”
For me, it’s laughing—a lot. Like, 400 times a day, even when it’s probably not appropriate. (Yes, even in church. 😅)
Pick one thing that makes you different and celebrate it. I like to think of a garden—no two flowers are the same. Some are bright, some are wild, and some have a petal or two missing. But they all open to the sun. I love the image of a slightly flawed flower shining anyway, saying, “I may be imperfect, but here I am!”
For me, it’s laughing—a lot. Like, 400 times a day, even when it’s probably not appropriate. (Yes, even in church. 😅)
Now it’s your turn.
What’s one thing that makes you unique—and how are you going to embrace it? I’d love to hear. Reply and let me know!
What’s one thing that makes you unique—and how are you going to embrace it? I’d love to hear. Reply and let me know!
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