Sitting on the mounting block, tears streaming down my face, my beautiful horse, just breathing into me as I once again couldn't get on. I let fear hold me back from riding my beautiful girl. This wasn't the first time, but it was the defining time.
We were moving to Kentucky with property to ride on and I was terrified to ride outside the arena. My passion was to ride and yet, I was letting fear hold me back from hours of joy. Like many of you, whether it is something happened to cause your fear or the fear just crept in, the joy that is taken from us can't be replaced, it is gone forever.
I believe we were put here on earth to enjoy life and not only conquer our fears, but to help others conquer their fears as well.
Using a system, is a great key to success and you can conquer your fear too. Whether the fear is internal fear like fear of success, or external fear, like riding a horse, the system can be used to conquer either.
There are a number of steps in the system, but my favorite was to prepare for success. Creating a pre-flight checklist, like a pilot looking over a plane before flying was so much fun! I created one for me, and one for the horse. Imagine looking at what your fear, and creating the perfect checklist to know you are safe and don't need to worry about the fear, just like that pilot that feels safe heading down the runway at top speed to leap into the air like a bird.
There are a number of steps in the process but this one, creating a checklist will get you started on your way to feeling great about bringing that joy back into your life.
For more information on the entire system, you can read my journey, and learn the process in my book, Rise from Fear to Courage!
After 60 seconds of terror, left me searching for how to find the 1000's of hours of joy in the saddle again, I knew I had to find how to regain confidence. This type of experience can leave you feeling unsure and scared to get back in the saddle, but with the right mindset and approach, it is possible to overcome these feelings. We all have different situations, but we share the love of feeling the horse moving under us as one. That joy can be brought back to life.
It takes a lot of courage to admit that you are struggling and seek advice on how to move forward. So, give yourself credit for recognizing the challenge and taking steps to overcome it. Starting the journey can be the hardest part.
One suggestion is to start slowly, one step at a time. This may mean spending time in a non-riding capacity, such as ground play. This can help you build trust and a positive relationship again.
The second suggestion would be to prepare to ride. Make sure you and the horse are ready to take those first steps together again. There is no timeframe, you and your horse get to pick when you are both ready.
The third suggestion would be to start small. Mine first ride was 4 steps. I can do anything for 4 steps. Pick something really easy.
Additionally, it may be helpful to have someone with you as you begin to ride again. There isn't anything wrong with having someone lead you. An amazing Grand Prix dressage trainer, Alicia Dickenson has someone lead her the first few times she hacks a new off the track horse for additional safety. If she can do it, we can all have permission to do it too!
It is important to remember that everyone's experience with trauma is unique, and there is no right or wrong way to approach the process of regaining confidence. Take things at your own pace, and don't push yourself too hard. With patience, support, and a positive attitude, it is possible to overcome this challenge.
Lastly, don't hesitate to reach out if you need any further support or guidance. Your safety and well-being should always come first. Remember that you are not alone in this, and there are people who are willing to help you every step of the way.
I am happy to help you put together a plan if you would like to schedule a 30-minute coaching to get you started. Just click here to get it on my calendar!
The hour ride in the ambulance, knowing I wasn't going to make it, was the longest hour ever. It was such a beautiful day, and having a horse get bit by a black widow and then flip over on me was just completely crazy. It was my first camping trip with horses and I had been so excited. I made so many mistakes and looking back at that, I can fix the mistakes that caused the accident. It was an accident that was 100% preventable.
This gives me confidence that I can prepare and not go through it again. But how? How to get back on the horse?
Here are my four must haves:
1. A pre-ride checklist, for me and for the horse. All the check boxes have to be YES before I proceed. If any one is not ok, I do what will fix it before proceeding. (You can get a copy of the checklists here if you would like to see mine!)
2. I must have all the safety equipment that helps me feel safe. I use a life jacket because it fits me great but probably isn't as good as a horse-riding vest. I always wear a helmet and boots. My tack is always checked to make sure it is in good working order.
3. I use CBD for the first rides back. It works to stop the shakes. I believe it isn't fair to the horse to have to carry my fear. I need to do something to alleviate the fear while I get my courage back and CBD works for me.
4. I have a PLAN. For me, it is to get on and take 4 steps. Stop and re-evaluate. I can do 4 steps. For me, it was important to not just get on and get back off. It was important to take those first steps. With everything else in place, the 4 steps worked out great!
If you would like help with any of the steps to getting back on the horse, I am happy to talk you through your first plan.
You can put some time on my calendar if that would be of interest to you! Put Your Plan TOGETHER!
Wow, I was shocked. I could not have guessed that the average age for riders is over 40. There are so many reasons for this but still, it shocked me.
When I was growing up, there were 20 or 30 kids to every adult at the barns I rode at. Actually, I only knew a couple of adults that even rode at all. It was all of us crazy horse kids.
The classes at the shows for the juniors were 20 - 50 per class, which were usually grouped in 1 or 2 years per group. For the adults, it was 18 - 35 and 35 and over and they only had a maximum of 20 in their classes for the huge age range.
Why are kids not riding any more? I would love to hear your thoughts and if there things we can do.
Here are my thoughts:
1. The kids these days are really into the electronics. Our granddaughters were here and mostly played on youtube and creating their own videos (which is amazing!). I had one that wanted to come feed but really didn't want to spend a lot of time with the horses. I would have spent every minute with the horses when I was her age.
2. Horses cost more these days then they did when I was a kid. I worked to save up and bought my first pony when I was 5 and I was able to work to take care of some of the bills. I worked and worked to pay for the horses. I am not sure kids these days will make it happen like I did.
3. There are so many organized sports that take up a lot of time and they don't have the time to just enjoy horses.
Are there things we can do to engage the kids more? What if a bunch of us created a facebook group, to encourage kids to have those horse crazy pony dreams again? What if we partnered with local youth centers?
I don't know the answers but I know I was shocked at the average age being so high.
What do you guys think? I would love to hear your thoughts if you would like to reply.
To carry on with my thoughts from the other day, Fear to Courage FB Group Post!
It really got me thinking, how common are horse accidents? I did quite a bit of research and there are a lot of different ways to look at it. I like the study from OSU extension office. It was based on 1000 hours of participation in sports versus injury. I actually was a little shocked to see that riding was just ahead of cycling, swimming and golf, and behind everything else! Football was the worst, baseball and downhill skiing were more injuries than horseback riding.
Some of the things that I found really interesting in my research are that the oldest participants in most Olympics are the riders. This means that even at this level of competition, there is a lot of success as we age. When I was young, I had dreams of competing at the Olympics and I remember the Los Angeles games and my trainer got to be ring crew. I was so excited to watch the ground crew! I didn't have enough talent to get to that level of competition, but it sure did look amazing. I love that it is one of the few sports that men and women compete against each other, the horses are the equalizer.
So back to how common are horse accidents. More research showed that with the safety measures that are now in place, the MIPS helmets, vests, etc, the severity of the injuries has been reduced. This is great news. I know I love my MIPS helmet! It fits amazing. This is the one I have and love! Click here to check it out!
What about compared to other things, not sports related? It was a lot harder to find research, so I am just going with my experience. I have had 5 or 6 concussions. None of these were riding. One was horse related when I was picking out feet and stood up under the cross bar in the cross ties and knocked myself out and gave myself a concussion. I have not had any broken bones (knock on wood) but if I had, it would have been from a number of things not horse related. Skiing has been my biggest downfall. I had to have surgery on my knee and had my neck severely damaged from being hit by a snowmobile.
I am going to share more on my thoughts on how all of these ties into our fear and why horses cause us anxiety when the other stuff may or may not have the same impact. I still ski after my accidents. I still pick out feet after my accident (and even learned to trim). I still drive after my accidents that were not my fault.
