Winter is a time to rest, recuperate, and rejuvenate to get ready for spring riding. I remember sitting there on the edge of the bed, struggling to put my socks on and it was like a slap in the face. I was becoming "that" person. The one that couldn't sit on the floor and play board games. The one that made the "oof" sound getting on my horse. The one that just didn't feel so good anymore, I was feeling old. Like many of you, this stuff creeps up slowly, inch by inch, to steel our joy.
I knew I wanted to go into my senior years enjoying riding and part of that was flexibility, balance, and energy but how?
I tried EVERYTHING. Some things helped, some things didn't help and some things were AMAZING.
Flexibility - this started with healthy eating. I got rid of grains and refined sugar and this helped some. I worked on doing things like lifting my knee to my chest, alternating this while I was doing dishes. I played with lunges and side lunges to stretch my inner thigh. I just played with flexibility and movement. I was actually shocked to find out that I could not move my arms like a bird flying but I could move them like a swimmer. It took me some time to get my bird flying shoulders going again. The more I moved, the more I could move.
Balance - this one again I play with. I will see how long I can stand on one leg (practicing with both legs) while brushing my teeth or folding clothes. Chores became a great time to play with balance. Could I load the dishwasher standing on one leg or the other without falling over. This also improved my strength.
Energy - this was by far the most challenging and the most recently solved. I didn't feel like working on balance, flexibility and riding again. It just seemed to take too much energy. The diet helped but wasn't the whole thing. I had to add in a coaching program (more information here if interested) that changed it all and put all the pieces together. The coaching linked the anti-inflammation, the dehydration, the energy, the brain fog, the balance, flexibility and boy do I feel AMAZING!!!! When all the pieces come together, just like a gorgeous jigsaw puzzle, You want to keep feeling better each day and the call to ride returns. It has been missing for me for a while. I love the horses but haven't been called to ride and now I am feeling like I want to get everything lined up and ready to start riding this spring.
I will be documenting my journey back to riding (I hope) with my new podcast starting episodes I am working on now. I will have more information coming soon!
As horse riders, we have a unique challenge with setting a timeline for our goals, there are two of us (or more if we have more than one horse). I believe it is still important to set a timeline and make adjustments as necessary.
What does the timeline look like? First of all, we need to know what steps we need to take (and I lay these out for my journey back to courage in my book if you are interested in seeing one laid out as an example: Book)
Think about the things that need work and the process to accomplish your goals. This is the easy part and really just looking at where you are at today and where you want to be and what does the journey look like between those two points. Here are some of mine:
- Get healthy
- Get horse healthy
- Develop a plan for safety and execute the plan
- Get on
- Ride to the edge of my comfort zone
- ENJOY RIDING AGAIN!
Then, the more challenging part is to put that into a timeline. I knew my health wasn't going to be overnight and I also knew I would do that in parallel to the rest so it wasn't part of the overall timeline. I started it and continues to this day as I feel better and better as I get older! Win!
Getting the horses healthy had its ups and downs. The good thing with having multiple horses is that it gives me options so I can keep working on me and my courage while a horse may need a break here and there. Really, this is true of any goals that involve others, there are times we are on our game and times we rest and rejuvenate.
Developing a plan and implementing I could do in 30 days.
GET ON was a big one. It only takes 20 minutes to prepare, tack up and actually mount. This could not be used as an excuse to not meet the goal.
From there on out, it was building my courage, a little bit at a time.
As I look back, it took me almost 6 months but I think it could have been done in 3 months maximum. That means I had 3 months of excuses and reasons from the fear that held me back.
This year, I will do it in three months! I have had challenges and let that become excuses. It really wasn't about the timeline but more about my willingness to just push through and do what needed to be done to ride.
Do you have a timeline for your goal? Do you feel comfortable with all your steps to reach your goal? I have a few openings for courage coaching if you would like help making that goal successful and maybe even in less time than you thought possible! Schedule a 30 minute call and let's see if we can get you on track for this year to be YOUR YEAR!
Hindsight is 20/20 right? Looking back over my horse accidents, I would say they were all preventable. I know that isn't the case with all horse accidents but in my case, all of them were preventable. Looking back at your accidents, are there things that if you had done them different, you would have had a different outcome.
Unexpected surprise: A great example is the horse in the Disney parade that gets a balloon wrapped around his hind leg and panics. This 100% could have been prevented. The handlers were checked out, just going through the motions of leading the horse, instead of keeping their eyes open and staying focused on the horse. If they had been aware, they would have seen the balloon. Even if they had not seen it, they could have refocused the horse and gotten the balloon off the leg.
What to do: Stay aware, don't check out. I love to play "I Spy" with my horse. This keeps me engaged and makes it fun.
Comfort zone: I competed in a 4' jumper class that was beyond me. I was so excited to be riding in the big ring, until I walked the course. The fences were HUGE. I knew I was not ready. My trainer told me to do it anyway. I froze. Jumping big fences is not the time to freeze. My wonderful horse did his job with a lump sitting on him. I fell off over one of those fences.
What to do: Don't let others push your out of your comfort zone. You decide when you want to move out of your comfort zone. It is like deciding to run and you run a mile. You get excited and run a marathon that weekend. Horse riding isn't any different. I love Warwick Schillers saying to play Donkey Kong. You go a bit, and then start over and go a little bit further, repeat.
Preparation: My big accident happened because I didn't have a pre-ride checklist. I know without a doubt if I had tuned into the horse while tacking him up, I would not have gotten on. He was in pain. He was tense. He had been bit by a black widow and I had no clue.
What to do: Develop your pre-ride checklist for you and your horse! It is different for everyone, but just like a pilot, going around and checking the plane. Check yourself, check your horse, check your tack.
Really think about any accidents you have had and see if you could have prevented it. They are not all preventable but a lot of them are. That gives us confidence! We know we can prevent the things that happen.
Here is a link to my pre-ride checklists if you would like a copy!
When I saw the horse flipping over on top of me, the feeling of falling and seeing that he was going to crush me, left me mentally in much worse shape than I was physically. The fear hung out with me like a dear friend. Like many of you, we have things happen that we cannot control, and the fear remains, long after the danger has passed.
Honor your fear or it will explode to get your attention.
This can be so hard to learn. We are taught to push down our fear, just buck up and do it, get on with it, and we end up feeling so alone in our fear. That feeling that nobody else understands. The hardest part is realizing that we can't just push that fear down. We can honor that fear, the precious fear that is just trying to keep us safe. It means well. It is doing its job. It doesn't know that we are no longer in danger and can make different decisions.
You might be wondering how. Here are my three tips for honoring your fear and returning to joy:
1. Really say thank you to your fear. Feel that it has helped you to stay safe. Take some time with this and let your feelings flow. If you enjoy journaling, put it down on paper. If you are like me and writing isn't your thing, close your eyes and just really breath into the fear, feel gratitude, feel yourself saying thank you.
2. When you start to feel the fear come up, practice amazing "What If's". There isn't anything that says we have to stay in negative what if's. We can pick and choose new ones, ones that fill us up with passion, desire, and joy!
3. Use tools. Whether it be checklists, breathing techniques, calming oils, CBD, preparation, music, or something else. Find out what works for you. Tools have such a bad stigma but really they can help us keep fear at bay and really let it know that we have this, we are good, and not in danger.
If you would like a little help on your "What if's", here is a short video on my thoughts and a little challenge! Click here.
I went 15 years without falling and then competing in a big jumper class, I fell off over a jump. I was talking to my young friend about it and she realized, the last time I had fallen was before she was born and we just paused, and really connected in that moment. We all have the chance of falling or having an accident of any kind, may not even involve horses.
Fortunately, horses have the remarkable ability to help us conquer this fear and unlock our true potential. Let's explore how horses enable us to overcome the fear of falling and discover a new level of self-confidence.
1. Building Trust and Connection:
Horses are known for their intuitive nature and ability to form strong bonds with humans. When working with horses, we learn that trust is the foundation of any successful relationship. Through patient and consistent interaction, we develop a deep sense of trust with these majestic creatures. This trust-building process helps us overcome our fear of falling, as it allows us to relinquish control and rely on the strength and stability of the horse.
2. Developing Balance and Coordination:
Riding a horse requires a certain degree of balance and coordination. As we navigate the challenges of riding, we not only physically learn how to stay centered and in control but also mentally build the confidence needed to face the fear of falling. Horses teach us to embrace our body's natural power and work together in harmony to maintain balance, thus empowering us to overcome the fear that restricts our growth. They also encourage us to improve our health to be better riders!
3. Enhancing Self-Awareness:
Horses possess an ability to mirror our emotions and behavior, providing immediate feedback on our actions. Through this awareness, we can address and work through these emotions, gradually building our self-confidence in the face of falling. Courage pennies is a great way to track this amazing process of gaining courage! Soak up pennies every time you feel confident and use a penny or two when you have fear creap in. It is just a good visual to help!
4. Learning to Trust One's Intuition:
Horse riders begin to tap into their intuitive senses—gut feelings and instinctive responses to different situations. Trusting our intuition is crucial for overcoming the fear of falling, especially using this before we get on. Making sure everything with us and our horse is just right. It enables us to make split-second decisions and respond effectively. As we become more attuned to our intuition, we gain a deep sense of self-trust and confidence, further bolstering our ability to manage the fear of falling.
If you haven't read my book on getting over fear, it is a great process that helps anyone facing fear, know what steps to take to find courage again! You can get it here: Rise from Fear to COURAGE!
