Horses

I started to write about riding horses if you really want to ride horses. Don't let anything stop you.  I was going to give a pep talk on making it happen.  But then I realized, the loss of confidence can turn into feeling like riding would be a chore, at least it did for me.  So I changed course and decided to write about how to have fun riding again.  I have had so much fun and thinking about it, helps me want to get on and ride!

 

First of all, riding a horse, is all about the connection to your very best friend.  It is like going to the mall and shopping with your bestie, only riding a horse takes that connection one step further to actually feeling the rhythm between the two of you physically.  Hearts connected and bodies connected.  That feeling of pure joy as the two of you see the sights together.

 

With that in mind, riding can be fun for both of you.  I spent most of my hours riding as a kid, riding trails and playing, almost no time in an arena.  We would race each other and even race motorcycles.  We would jump over anything and everything that we could find.  I think my favorite was playing tag in the heat of summer.  We would swim in the ponds and if our horses touched the ground, we were out and had to sit out in the heat until everyone was out.  We would do this for 8 or 9 hours.  I think back now to our poor horses swimming for hours but I think they enjoyed not being in the 100 degree heat.

 

As an adult, I love to play "I Spy", "Red Rover", and tag (having the horse touch all kinds of stuff while I am riding).  I also love a good jumper competition but the arena work can feel too much like work!  What are two or three things you can do to make riding more fun for you?  Think about them, picture them, get excited about having that fun on your horse again.  It will help overcome the confidence issues as you bring joy into your thoughts of riding, more and more.

 

Picture what that fun will look like.  Develop that picture and share that picture with your horse.  The more you can imagine that fun, the better you will feel about riding. 

 

Why is horseback riding fun?  I would love to hear the number one thing you would enjoy having fun with your horse!  Whether it is riding or not riding, not everyone wants to ride.

 

If you enjoyed this and would like to see some fun ways to ground play with your horse, you can get my guide, 5 Fabulous Ground Play Challenges here!

Watching the horses graze, soaking up the sun, sharing the calm all around them, I realized that calm and fear cannot exist in the space.  There are of course exceptions but in general, this is true.  So how does this calm scene turn into a place of fear?  How does the fear spread and why is it important for riders?

We had a tree fall in our pasture and I didn't know directly since I couldn't see the tree, I knew from the horses' panic that something was wrong.  I felt fear.  I felt their fear and added my fear to it.  All three horses were running, fleeing for their lives in their mind.  There are so many examples of this and watching a herd can be a tremendous learning opportunity.

Let's back up and look at this closer.  The tree probably cracked a bit, which would have had the horses looking.  One horse may have lifted their head first, and then the others followed.  Then, as the tree fell and made noise, they ran away from the noise.  This is a great thing; it kept the tree from falling on them.  It truly was a matter of life and death, and they chose life.  When they no longer heard the noise, they stopped, turned and looked at the tree.  Very quickly, their heads went down, and they returned to grazing.  Nature at its finest.

I talked a little bit about the fear behind me, when I thought Michelle was going to run me over.  She reacted by thinking something was behind "US" that was going to eat us, so she tried to run me over.  Once I realized the nonsense and filled up with confidence, she walked along behind me quietly and looked to me to lead.  There is so much of this in riding as well.  If we are looking around for what might scare our horse, guess what they are looking around for?  This is why the police clinic teaching was so important.  FOCUS 100 feet ahead on where you are going and completely ignore everything else.  They have to ignore all the rioting, bottles being thrown at them, etc and they never know what that thing is going to be so they can't desensitize to everything.  They have to FOCUS on what they want, where they are going, and what they are doing and the horses feel that confidence.

It can be so hard at first to feel that confidence and have that focus.  I had to use a few tools to help me out (you can check them out here if you would like), and that got me over the hump.  Once I had a few confident rides, I had more confidence, and it was like an amazing snowball of becoming the leader I used to be.

If you enjoyed this, here are a few exercises to help build that confidence so our horses can feel it!  Ghosts of Anxiety - Past, Present, Future

Looking back through your life can lead to regrets, to joy, to fear, to so many feelings all over the spectrum.  This is where some people live their life.  With horses, it might be trauma they suffered, like my mare, Taika, that flipped in the starting gate and fractured her skull, or Binky, who was trapped in a barn with the roof blown off through hurricanes Irma and Maria.  It might be us living our life based on a horse accident and letting that dictate how we feel about riding horses now, even if the accident was years ago.

There are also those that are stuck in the "what if" mode.  What if I get hurt, fall off, have a horse run away with me?  For the horses, they are always looking for what might kill them.  The plastic bag, the whip, the saddle that doesn't fit right.  These feeling of what if can cause extreme tension and bracing in us and our horses.

Mindfulness is being present, in this moment, here and now.  It is letting go of the feelings that come up from things in our past and it is looking at what is going on right now instead of the what if's that might be coming.  The amazing thing about mindfulness is that it can be learned.  Mindfulness is beneficial around our horses and even just in our daily lives.

What is mindfulness in daily life?  I was making my breakfast smoothie the other day and thinking about riding that afternoon instead of being present to what I was doing with my breakfast.  I had a feeling of stop, something isn't right, but I just kept right on thinking of riding and pouring cinnamon in my drink, ignoring that feeling to stop.  When I looked down, I had the garlic powder.  I can say that garlic powder is not as yummy in my morning drink as cinnamon.  This really shook me up.  Something so simple but so powerful.  I drank my morning drink while I cringed from the strong taste, but it was a good reminder to be mindful in the moment.

I first heard about mindfulness at a silent retreat I went to, and they promoted being mindful for the 5 days we were there.  They talked about eating mindfully.  Tasting the food, feeling the texture, picturing the journey the food took to become the morsal in my mouth.  They talked about walking mindfully.  Feeling the earth beneath the feet.  They talked about smelling the morning air and all the flora that was around.  They encouraged us to feel the breeze, the sun, the weather.  

The wonderful thing about being mindful is that you can't be in a state of worry (looking into the future), and you can't be depressed (looking into your past) while you are in the present moment.  With horses, it is so much more than that.  It is about truly "BEING" with the horse, in each and every moment.  It really does help fear melt away.

If you would like to learn about mindfulness in 7 days of exercises, please click here!

Picture yourself, as a zebra, in the middle of the herds grazing in Africa.  It is a beautiful day, light breeze blowing, the other zebras are quietly munching on the green grass around you.  A lion creeps into the edge of the meadow, searching for lunch.  A zebra on the edge of herd, feels the tension in the air and sounds the alarm, racing away from where it feels the danger.  All the herd runs except you keep eating the lush grass and don't "FEEL" the danger.  You would be lunch.

Horses are no different.  Their instincts require that they feel the energy around them.  Their life depends on it.

Are there things we can do that will help reduce our nerves and help our horses to remain calm?  Yes, but the one thing I have found with horses that doesn't work very well is "Fake it 'til you make it".  They can feel your energy while you are trying to fake it unless you can actually shift your energy and then you aren't really faking it.

1. Practice getting your nerves stressed and bringing them back down.  Exactly what we do when we desensitize our horses, we can also do for us.  Sit in a comfy chair, close your eyes, and picture something you fear.  Feel your stress start to increase.   Practice breathing in a square or circle.  With the square, I like breath in for count of 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4, focus on this count until you feel great again.  The other one I like is picturing my breathing is a Ferris wheel, going in a circle.  The most critical is to not hold your breath.  Make sure you practice exhaling.

2. Visualize an amazing time with your horse.  I like to picture myself as the eye of the storm, strong, powerful and calm.  I love practicing this while I am with my horses, they relax and change when I am that calm energy.

3. I use CBD for my first rides back after a break.  It really helps to take the edge off and if the horses get nervous, I use a brand that will also help them.  Most is not approved for horses; it took me a while to find one for both of us.  (Click here if you would like to check it out).

I would love to be able to feel what other energies are around me like horses do.  I think it would be fascinating.

If you have enjoyed this, you might enjoy my 3 ways to stop panic guide!  Click here if you would like a copy.