That feeling of just keeping our head above water, like we are going to sink at any moment, can be worse for those of us with horses. They are an expensive passion. The fear of vet bills to care for our furry friends. The anxiety of maybe having our job go away. All of this stress and anxiety can affect our horses.
We may not realize it, but when we go see our horses, if we take that financial anxiety with us, they can feel it. They don't understand it. They understand that it is anxiety and we are stressed and their life depends on recognizing stress. I think anxiety could be one of the reasons horses shut down, to protect themselves from all the anxiety that is overwhelming to them. The opposite ones are the ones that get really spooky, looking for what the heck we are afraid of. Where is it? They don't see it.
So, how do I deal with anxiety over finances?
First and foremost, I know in my heart that God will provide. I have always believed this. It is how I got my first pony when I was five, that my family didn't have the money for. I believed God would provide a pony and I had a pony. During times of trouble, where I didn't have the money to make it to the end of the month, I trusted. A random check would show up in the mail that perfectly covered the rest of the months bills, or I would get a job offer that was just perfect.
The second thing was implementing a system for my finances. I tried a bunch of programs but the one that worked for me was T. Harv Eker. His system worked amazing, and I was able to build a cushion and pay off all my bad debt. Yes, there is good debt. It is debt that earns you money.
The third thing was talking to others, especially horse people that were making it happen and had the life I wanted. How did they do it? Having honest conversations with others that were where I wanted to be really helped.
When I go see my horses, I leave the anxieties I have behind. I don't carry them with me to the horses. It isn't fair to them.
My free guide, The Ghosts of Anxiety - Past, Present, and Future, might help a little more if this resonated with you.
This is a GREAT question. Think about it, do we ask, how do you drive a car safely? Or, how do we walk down stairs safely? Or, how do we walk through the shopping mall safely? All of these things can be dangerous but we don't ask all the time about their safety. I think because riding a horse, is an agreement and a partnership between two beings, it is a little more daunting but really, driving a car is an agreement with all the other drivers if you think about it.
So, there are things we can do to improve our safety riding. First of all, mentally, we need to be ready to ride. Think about going to the shopping mall with your friend, and the entire time, she is worried about being robbed, that person doesn't look nice, what if that person has a gun, etc. You would be a stressed mess and not enjoy it. We do this to our horses when we are not mentally in a good spot to ride. There are so many exercises we can do to get our mind right, before getting on our horses (and I love using CBD under my tongue to also help just take the edge off, to see the one I use, just click here),
We need to make sure our horses are ready to enjoy a nice ride. I have created some pre-ride checklists, like a pilot checking out a plane for flight, to make sure our horses are ready and look for signs that we may need to make a different decision. If we can have bad days, our horses can too! I also love to put a big pile of hay in front of my horses while I groom and tack up. A full stomach keeps their stomach acid from sloshing while riding so they want to be ridden the next time. If it always hurts when you are ridden, you wouldn't want to do it again.
When we go to get on our horse, are they standing quietly, waiting for us to get on? This is a big one! If they are not super quiet and relaxed, I don't get on, ever. We work through what is causing their worry and stress. It may mean I don't ride that day. I think the best thing we can do for our horses, is to always give them a choice. A partnership is about agreement of both parties and our horse deserves that respect from us.
If you enjoyed this, I did do a short video talking about it too!
There are so many things that can cause a horse to be unbalanced, just like humans that are not quite upright. Just a few of the things that come to mind right off the bat are uneven trims in feet, sore muscles, thrush, and weak abs (this sounds like riders too!).
Not only do we have to think about left right balance with a horse, but there is also the front to back balance that is an additional challenge that riders don't always think about or understand. If a horse is heavy on their forehand, they are going to want to speed up, like they do when going down a hill. Balancing them front to back can really help with maintaining speed as well and helping them to be more balanced left/right.
What I would like to talk about is us, as riders, and how we affect a horse's balance and some things we can do! My wonderful structural consultant, Anna Bergenstrahle, at Riderfitness.com said, it is like us, carrying a child around on our shoulders and having them lean all over the place. That visual made so much sense to me! Imagine how frustrated you would be if you had to carry that child for a trail ride, or a horse show, for extended periods of time and had to compensate for their leaning all over the place! You would be exhausted, sore, and probably a little frustrated or even angry. Our horses show us, what we need to learn if we listen to them.
Work on your balance. On and off the horse. My favorite things to work on balance are to stand on each leg, one at a time, with my eyes closed, and move my other leg all around. With my eyes closed, I have to really focus on the feel of my weight, my body and it helps me to know where I am in relation to gravity. I started out slow with this. I heard that most people can only stand on one leg with their eyes closed for 5 - 10 seconds. Since I have done this exercise since I was a kid, I can do minutes. I was really shocked that not everyone does this. Of course, if you are just starting out, keep something close to lean on if you need to catch yourself.
Another favorite is to put on my pants, socks, and shoes, standing on the other leg, as tall as I can. Bring the knee to the chest and put the clothes/shoes on. Again, if just starting out, you want to make sure you can catch yourself on something.
The point is, the better balanced we are, the more effective we are helping our horses and not hindering them!
Here is a link to my Balance video if you would like to check out my goofy antics! Click Here!
If you enjoyed this information, grab my free guide, 5 Ways to feel like a kid!
Well, we really don't want fear to go away. We want to make sure we are using it wisely! Here are a few things to do in 2023 to help your fear help you, instead of controlling you. Get your life back to joy.
First of all, we need our fear to keep us safe, if it is real fear that is. It is our minds tool to pay attention, look around us, and make sure we are safe. It is our opportunity to be in the moment and do what needs to be done. This fear, real fear, we will practice recognizing in 2023. Keep a journal and write down when you have real fear. Example would be riding along and having a snake show up in your path. You have to take immediate action. Practice noticing this real fear and keep track. It will be a lot less than you "IMAGINE" it to be.
Secondly, imaginary fear. We need to turn this around to feelings of joy and happiness! It is our mind thinking that we are in danger, and probably playing a story, over and over, in our head, of danger! Also in your journal, write these down. Recognize them. You will see repeats. Example would be you are thinking of going for a ride, you start to have your palms get sweaty and you stop. You think about what is causing it and it might be that your horse might rear. That is my go-to. It is really a fear of falling off and getting hurt. My mind and body go into panic mode. Write these down in your journal!
As you see patterns, rewrite them. For my example, I would write My horse and I had a lovely ride. It was warm and rhythmical. I could feel the relaxation in myself and in my horse. Really spend some time feeling the feelings. It won't take long and when your mind starts to go to the imaginary fear, your brain will say, oh, I know what to do, let's go to that good feeling place we have created!
Now, for my really exciting 2023 news, I am opening up some coaching spots for a few people that would like help, overcoming their fear and turning it into joy. Reply to this email that you want COACHING AND JOY, and we can have a chat and see if it is a good fit for you and get you on the waiting list!
That feeling of stress, the sweaty palms, the fast breathing, it comes from going back into the past in our minds, feeling the things that happened. Those feelings bring more thoughts, like magnets, and the spiral heads right down into anxiety and panic attacks. Have you ever asked yourself why you keep replaying memories in your head?
For me, there are three reasons I keep that memory wheel running in my head, and what I do to fix each one.
1. I am not being mindful of the present moment. This is a big one for me. I love just being, right here, right now. It takes practice. When I realize I am back replaying the memory movie, I can snap myself back into the present moment. It is a lot easier if you practice this when not being in that swamp of nasty memories. (Click here for my free 7 days to Mindfulness guide)
2. There is a trigger to the memory. This one happens when I see a horse rear or start to rear. It puts me right back in that moment of fear. This is a great one to fix, when you are sitting on the couch and all nice and relaxed. Reset the trigger. Google search horseback riding and look at images of great rides. Feel how good that feels and really set that feeling. I use an anchor too. I take a really good smelling essential oil, my favorites for this are Stress Away or Joy, and smell them while I am feeling how an amazing ride would feel. It can also be closing your eyes and remember amazing rides you have had. They key is to really put yourself in that moment and anchor it. Then think about the trigger, a horse rearing in my example, and see it getting smaller and smaller. See that trigger just disappearing. Go right back to the feeling of the amazing ride, smell the essential oils, feel that amazing feeling. Repeat this 5 - 10 times. You will notice your trigger isn't so much a trigger anymore.
3. I play the "What if" game. What if my horse lifts its head. What if my horse starts to rear. What if, what if, what if. This is another one that is fun to do while relaxing on your couch, at least at first. Pick better "what if's"! What if you have the best ride ever? What if it is a beautiful day and you just feel the rhythm with your horses footfall. What if you and your horse have an amazing adventure. See how many you can come up with. Write them down. Keep adding to the list. Read the list, over and over. Practice your what ifs. As you go to the barn, practice your what ifs!
