Horses

That feeling of stress, the sweaty palms, the fast breathing, it comes from going back into the past in our minds, feeling the things that happened.  Those feelings bring more thoughts, like magnets, and the spiral heads right down into anxiety and panic attacks.  Have you ever asked yourself why you keep replaying memories in your head?

For me, there are three reasons I keep that memory wheel running in my head, and what I do to fix each one.

1. I am not being mindful of the present moment.  This is a big one for me.  I love just being, right here, right now.  It takes practice.  When I realize I am back replaying the memory movie, I can snap myself back into the present moment.  It is a lot easier if you practice this when not being in that swamp of nasty memories.  (Click here for my free 7 days to Mindfulness guide)

Palms start to sweat.  The feeling of the world closing in on you.  Breathing becomes shallow and it seems so hard to breath. The heat rises to the top of the head and the feelings of being trapped overwhelm.  That feeling comes from not being in control.  It makes you mind for get to think and your entire focus is in a very small, tiny world right around you, trying to survive.  There are so many feelings that go along with anxiety but the biggest one for me, is the feeling of "NOT" being in control.

This started when I was little.  The dentist seemed like a GIANT Boogeyman.  Having stitches and all the blood after being kicked in the head by my pony after I fell off.  Motorcycles anywhere near after having one hit us head on.  There were so many triggers for my anxiety, and they were all around not being in control.

After my horse accident in 2000, I knew I had to find a way out of the anxiety and there were several pieces that worked for me.  First of all, I had to know I had done everything to be safe.  Some was easy, dentist isn't going to kill me.  Flying wasn't so easy, that is all out of my control.  Even being a passenger in a car was challenging and led to me searching for something that would work.  The mental focus on the "What If's" that served me, made me feel better, helped a LOT.  We get to choose what our "what ifs" look like so choose wisely.

Secondly, I found Stress Away and Thieves Essential oils.  I used a process I learned call "anchoring" to anchor Stress Away to calm on a bracelet on my right wrist, and Thieves for Courage on my left wrist.  This allowed me to be in control of my calm and my courage.  (To learn more about anchoring, I would be happy to help you, you can schedule 30 minutes with me here!)

The last thing that was the final piece of the puzzle is CBD under the tongue.  Just one drop allowed my release of my anxiety.  So much so, that the last time I went to the dentist, I fell asleep HUGE WIN.  I can have a horse act up and I don't shake!  It was just the final piece in that giant jigsaw puzzle of getting over anxiety and loving life again!  

If you are ready to kick anxiety to the curb, you can check out the products on my wishlist!  Click Here.

I played the guessing game with this for a while before looking at the answer.  I knew it wasn't jumping, or polo, or racing. But what about hunters, trail riding, or liberty work?  Boy was I wrong.  The safest sport according to my research is Vaulting!  This was shocking to me at first until I really looked at it, and how it can help me be safer in any horse riding I do!

First of all, it is rhythmical, at least for the horse.  The horse goes in a circle and the horse canters in a rhythm.  How can I apply this? How does rhythm fit in?  This is something I had not thought about, but really makes sense.  If we can practice with our horses, walking in rhythm, and make corrections if they change the rhythm without us, won't we have a horse more in tune to us?  A horse that is more relaxed because it has one job, go at this pace?  IT keeps us focused on the connection with the horse, not matter what we are doing.  It is easy to practice too.  Fast Walk 10 steps, SLLLOOOWWW walk 10 steps until it is really good then start doing it at the trot.  Imagine how responsive your horse will be to you.  Fast rhythm, slow rhythm.

The second thing that stands out is that it builds on what has come before, repetition.  The vaulters practice on their own, without a horse.  They practice a move until they are good before they ever mount.  They start small, getting on and getting off.  Over and over.   I have talked a lot about some of Warwick Schiller's principles and this falls right in line.  I get on and take four steps and decide to go back, get off, or go on.  Then I get to 50 steps and same questions.  It is repetitive.  If I have any issues getting to the 50 steps, I turn around and go back to the beginning.  A lot like playing a video game.  You start over and over and over and get really good before moving to the next level.  

Imagine what a relief it will be to our horses to know that we have them, that we expect them to be the best that they can be and will be the best we can be for them.  It will improve our confidence and our timing.  We will get better and better and most importantly, we will be safer!

If you are not riding yet, or want to improve your connection before trying the above, here is my free guide with some Ground Play examples!  Just click here!

The horses were happily munching their breakfast today.  The wind was swirling around, and a bunch of little dust devils were blowing through carrying the fall leaves for a ride.  I was cleaning the three-sided shed as while I listened to them munching.  Then I heard a crazy noise.  

All around the horses' legs, feet, faces, etc, was a packaging pillow.  One of those air-filled pillow sacks had blown off our porch and was dancing with the horses.  I heard it first for a while and then I looked.  The horses had not moved.  They were happily munching away with it battering around beneath them.  I started to panic but it was only a split second.  I completely relaxed.  In that split second, they all three lifted their heads, looked at me, and then because I had relaxed again, they all just went back to breakfast.  I know if I had panicked, they would have too.  I know because I was able to just forget about it and enjoy the show, they were fine.

There are so many times, when our emotions get in the way, and we are not even aware.  Leading Michelle, a few weeks ago, and thinking she was going to run me over had her convinced something was chasing both of us.  Playing with Michelle with the flag, she was in a panic.  I set it down on the ground and walked away, she walked right up and played with it.  

I have done this riding so many times too!  It is so powerful to change our thoughts and feelings around to the positive.  To the amazing rides, the amazing partnership with our horses, and truly step into that feeling of being the leader, the safe place for the horses, for our little herd.

How?  We start by playing the what if game with amazing things that could happen.  We fill ourselves up with amazing ride feelings until there is no room for fear to creep in.  We can even pretend to be a trainer that we admire if we want!  Whatever it takes, if we want to ride, we can make it happen.

If you would like to see a few more ideas I have for feeling better about our rides, Click here.

I started to write about riding horses if you really want to ride horses. Don't let anything stop you.  I was going to give a pep talk on making it happen.  But then I realized, the loss of confidence can turn into feeling like riding would be a chore, at least it did for me.  So I changed course and decided to write about how to have fun riding again.  I have had so much fun and thinking about it, helps me want to get on and ride!

 

First of all, riding a horse, is all about the connection to your very best friend.  It is like going to the mall and shopping with your bestie, only riding a horse takes that connection one step further to actually feeling the rhythm between the two of you physically.  Hearts connected and bodies connected.  That feeling of pure joy as the two of you see the sights together.

 

With that in mind, riding can be fun for both of you.  I spent most of my hours riding as a kid, riding trails and playing, almost no time in an arena.  We would race each other and even race motorcycles.  We would jump over anything and everything that we could find.  I think my favorite was playing tag in the heat of summer.  We would swim in the ponds and if our horses touched the ground, we were out and had to sit out in the heat until everyone was out.  We would do this for 8 or 9 hours.  I think back now to our poor horses swimming for hours but I think they enjoyed not being in the 100 degree heat.

 

As an adult, I love to play "I Spy", "Red Rover", and tag (having the horse touch all kinds of stuff while I am riding).  I also love a good jumper competition but the arena work can feel too much like work!  What are two or three things you can do to make riding more fun for you?  Think about them, picture them, get excited about having that fun on your horse again.  It will help overcome the confidence issues as you bring joy into your thoughts of riding, more and more.

 

Picture what that fun will look like.  Develop that picture and share that picture with your horse.  The more you can imagine that fun, the better you will feel about riding. 

 

Why is horseback riding fun?  I would love to hear the number one thing you would enjoy having fun with your horse!  Whether it is riding or not riding, not everyone wants to ride.

 

If you enjoyed this and would like to see some fun ways to ground play with your horse, you can get my guide, 5 Fabulous Ground Play Challenges here!