Looking back through your life can lead to regrets, to joy, to fear, to so many feelings all over the spectrum. This is where some people live their life. With horses, it might be trauma they suffered, like my mare, Taika, that flipped in the starting gate and fractured her skull, or Binky, who was trapped in a barn with the roof blown off through hurricanes Irma and Maria. It might be us living our life based on a horse accident and letting that dictate how we feel about riding horses now, even if the accident was years ago.
There are also those that are stuck in the "what if" mode. What if I get hurt, fall off, have a horse run away with me? For the horses, they are always looking for what might kill them. The plastic bag, the whip, the saddle that doesn't fit right. These feeling of what if can cause extreme tension and bracing in us and our horses.
Mindfulness is being present, in this moment, here and now. It is letting go of the feelings that come up from things in our past and it is looking at what is going on right now instead of the what if's that might be coming. The amazing thing about mindfulness is that it can be learned. Mindfulness is beneficial around our horses and even just in our daily lives.
What is mindfulness in daily life? I was making my breakfast smoothie the other day and thinking about riding that afternoon instead of being present to what I was doing with my breakfast. I had a feeling of stop, something isn't right, but I just kept right on thinking of riding and pouring cinnamon in my drink, ignoring that feeling to stop. When I looked down, I had the garlic powder. I can say that garlic powder is not as yummy in my morning drink as cinnamon. This really shook me up. Something so simple but so powerful. I drank my morning drink while I cringed from the strong taste, but it was a good reminder to be mindful in the moment.
I first heard about mindfulness at a silent retreat I went to, and they promoted being mindful for the 5 days we were there. They talked about eating mindfully. Tasting the food, feeling the texture, picturing the journey the food took to become the morsal in my mouth. They talked about walking mindfully. Feeling the earth beneath the feet. They talked about smelling the morning air and all the flora that was around. They encouraged us to feel the breeze, the sun, the weather.
The wonderful thing about being mindful is that you can't be in a state of worry (looking into the future), and you can't be depressed (looking into your past) while you are in the present moment. With horses, it is so much more than that. It is about truly "BEING" with the horse, in each and every moment. It really does help fear melt away.
If you would like to learn about mindfulness in 7 days of exercises, please click here!
Life is just passing by, faster and faster, the feeling of not going anywhere but just surviving day to day. Do our choices, the little ones we make every day, contribute to these feelings?
My dreams were fading into the background and daily life seemed to be like quicksand, sucking me in. I had a roof over my head, food on the table, but my life seemed to be consumed by the chores every day and not the creation of my dreams.
I helped a friend on her farm, after her farm sitter had an emergency. I took an hour to two hour every day to go take care of her farm. Guess what, my life went on, my chores got down, I am not even sure what I missed during that time away. That means, the choices I am making every day, could be made differently to use that hour or two differently and put that time towards my dreams.
But, that came back to, "How to make better choices?". I knew I had time that I could work with, I knew my main dreams, I knew the steps I needed to take to get closer to my dream come true but was that really enough?
There were a few pieces that I was missing. First thing I had to do was make the decision to make better choices. That was more challenging than I thought. The decision meant that I would have to do it. No excuses, I had just proved I had the time. The decision meant that there was only one thing holding me back from my dreams, and that was my mind. My heart was where it needed to be, but my mind had to follow along.
To get my mind where it needed to be, I needed a process. Something in writing, that I could see, that I could look at, that would give me the answers to all those excuses I create. Once I had the process (if you would like to have a copy of the process I used, click here), I had to put the process into action.
I have good days and I have not so good days, but now, I can measure how I am doing on making better choices. This gives me the ability for the last step. CELEBRATE. Even one new choice, celebrate it. The more celebration and joy that you can bring into your life, the more you will want to create those great feelings.
How many New Year's resolutions have you not completed or accomplished? Honestly, who came up with resolutions anyway? I remember the stress level that I felt for the first few months of the year when I was striving to get off on a good foot accomplishing my resolutions for the year.
Thirty years ago, I decided that I didn't want the stress of trying to meet this random thing I felt like I should be doing to fit in. I changed it up and decided that I wanted to "feel" better, each and every day for the year, but how? For me, I came up with the idea of 400 laughs a day. It is too big a number to track and yet, it is big enough to really strive for things to laugh at, all day long.
Here are the benefits I am finding from making this change:
1. I feel better. I am healthier. Laughter really does change your physiology and lightens your burden.
2. Stress reduction - I got rid of the stress of trying to do something that wasn't for me. I think most of that stress was "fitting in" but some of it was actually finding the time and doing whatever thing I thought I should be doing.
3. Choice - The more I laugh, the more people around me laugh, the more the world just seems to be a better place. Laughing is a choice and it is a much better choice for me than anger.
4. Anxiety reduction - this was very powerful for me. One of the things I laugh at the most was my encounter with the dentist. I am petrified of the dentist. I was sitting in the chair, getting a crown, and when they finished and handed me the mirror, I couldn't move my arm. Immediately, I started to get hot, I could feel me stress level going up. Did the dentist paralyze me? What was going on? The dentist started to get concerned and then realized, he had glued my arm to my leg. It was in that moment that I couldn't help laughing hysterically. It felt great and, in that moment, it significantly reduced my anxiety for the dentist. Laughter really does reduce or get rid of anxiety!
If you have ever wondered how to get a little more laughter into your life, I wrote a book that has some of my favorites! If you are interested, click here for more information.
Picture yourself, as a zebra, in the middle of the herds grazing in Africa. It is a beautiful day, light breeze blowing, the other zebras are quietly munching on the green grass around you. A lion creeps into the edge of the meadow, searching for lunch. A zebra on the edge of herd, feels the tension in the air and sounds the alarm, racing away from where it feels the danger. All the herd runs except you keep eating the lush grass and don't "FEEL" the danger. You would be lunch.
Horses are no different. Their instincts require that they feel the energy around them. Their life depends on it.
Are there things we can do that will help reduce our nerves and help our horses to remain calm? Yes, but the one thing I have found with horses that doesn't work very well is "Fake it 'til you make it". They can feel your energy while you are trying to fake it unless you can actually shift your energy and then you aren't really faking it.
1. Practice getting your nerves stressed and bringing them back down. Exactly what we do when we desensitize our horses, we can also do for us. Sit in a comfy chair, close your eyes, and picture something you fear. Feel your stress start to increase. Practice breathing in a square or circle. With the square, I like breath in for count of 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4, focus on this count until you feel great again. The other one I like is picturing my breathing is a Ferris wheel, going in a circle. The most critical is to not hold your breath. Make sure you practice exhaling.
2. Visualize an amazing time with your horse. I like to picture myself as the eye of the storm, strong, powerful and calm. I love practicing this while I am with my horses, they relax and change when I am that calm energy.
3. I use CBD for my first rides back after a break. It really helps to take the edge off and if the horses get nervous, I use a brand that will also help them. Most is not approved for horses; it took me a while to find one for both of us. (Click here if you would like to check it out).
I would love to be able to feel what other energies are around me like horses do. I think it would be fascinating.
If you have enjoyed this, you might enjoy my 3 ways to stop panic guide! Click here if you would like a copy.
Imagine, you are the one in the pasture, or stable, and our horses are in charge of our health and wellbeing.
Would you have great food? Fresh water? Or would you be eating fast food, drinking coffee and soda?
Would you have a good night's sleep, every night, in a comfy bed?
Would you have all your vitamins every day?
This really hit home for me in a coaching call I was doing last week. Why don't we take care of ourselves, as well as our horses or others would take care of us?
We get so used to just rushing through life, living in a state of overwhelm and stress that we don't even know how to just "Be" a human. Here are my top 5 tips for living more like our horses are taking care of us:
1. Drink lots of cool, fresh, clean water.
2. Eat good food for your health. No processed foods, no sodas, no yuck. Think of your horse feeding you for your best health. Not every person is the same, just like not every horse is the same, but there is a great diet for each human and for each horse.
3. Take time to just BE. Whatever that means for you, meditation, prayer, nature, yoga, whatever just "BEING" looks like, take time to BE, in each moment.
4. Exercise. Keep your body flexible, strong, and balanced. Use both sides of your body, take care of your core, build strength just in case some day you need it.
5. Sleep. Deep, wonderful rest, will heal our bodies, heal our minds, and rejuvenate all the things that we have done for so many years.
Why don't we take care of ourselves? Like our horses would take care of us?
Would love to hear your thoughts if you would like to reply!
I have a chapter in my book for health of horse and rider! If you haven't read it yet, now would be a great time during the summer heat! You can pick up a copy here: Rise From Fear To Courage
