After my accident, the worst thing for me was to hear "just do it". It would make me withdraw further into my fear. I sat down with a trainer, Ellicot Miller, and talked to him about the fear and anxiety that riders have. The key takeaway for me was that a lot of trainers have not felt riding fear so they can't comprehend what we are going through. Just as we sometimes don't understand our horses fear, and push them too hard, our trainers do the same to us.
Riding fear is a common challenge among equestrians, yet not all trainers understand how to handle it effectively. Unfortunately, this can lead to advice that, while well-intentioned, might not be helpful. Let's debunk some myths:
Myth 1: "You need to sell your horse."
Fact: Building a Partnership Takes Time
One of the most disheartening pieces of advice a fearful rider might hear is that they need to sell their horse. This suggestion often stems from a lack of understanding of the bond between horse and rider. Instead of giving up, it's more beneficial to work on building trust and communication with your horse. Seek a trainer who can help you develop a step-by-step plan to address your fears while strengthening your partnership with your horse. Improve your courage by working with a Courage Coach (Pick me!!). Most of all, only sell your horse if you feel that is the right decision for you and your horse, not because someone told you to.
Myth 2: "Show that horse who is boss."
Fact: Respect and Understanding Foster Confidence
The idea that you need to dominate your horse to overcome fear is outdated and counterproductive. Horses respond better to calm, confident leadership rather than aggressive dominance. Working to understand your horse's behavior and work with it, rather than against it, will help you build mutual respect and trust. This approach not only alleviates fear but also creates a more harmonious riding experience. Work on your confidence and courage so that you show up as the leader your horse wants you to be.
Myth 3: "You are alone."
Fact: Many Riders Share Your Experience
Feeling isolated in your fear can be incredibly discouraging. However, it's important to recognize that many riders, even seasoned professionals, have experienced similar challenges. Finding a supportive community, whether through local riding clubs, online forums, or supportive trainers, can provide you with the encouragement and understanding you need. You're never alone in your journey, and sharing your experiences with others can be incredibly empowering. Join my free support group if you would like us to cheer you on! Just click here.
Riding fear is a complex issue that requires empathy, patience, and the right support, by you and those around you. By debunking these common myths and focusing on facts, we can create a more supportive environment for riders dealing with fear. Remember, overcoming fear is a process for both you and your horse. Together, you can create a positive and fulfilling riding experience together.
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