How many of you (of the wiser generation) dreamed of having Mr. Ed? I remember thinking, Wow, a horse that I could have conversations with! That would be the Bees Knees!!!! I really believed that it was possible, that it was the normal way of the horse and the human, I had the rose colored glasses on for sure! Communicating with your horse is powerful.
In steps my Co-riders, trainers, and others, always saying: "Show them who's the Boss", "Step up and be the Leader", "You can't let them get away with Anything", etc! How many times have I listened (and acted) but it just didn't seem right? More than I would like to admit and I still fall into that trap once in a while. Telling my horses to do something! There are times when you have to tell them, like when I was on a trail ride and saw a Rattle Snake, but it should be like a parent telling a child, once in awhile. Most of the time, it should be a two way conversation!
I listened to a popular trainer and was doing the things he told us to do, and my horse was getting more and more frazzled! It got to the point, I couldn't catch her in the pasture, if I did catch her and take her in to "WORK", she was a wreck, sweating, nervous, completely wanting to get away from me. It was like being slapped in the face! I DID THIS TO MY HORSE!
Well, I went on a mission to LEARN all I could and to have conversations with my horses and it has changed my life (and theirs)! I have amazing conversations with my horses now! It takes time, they really didn't trust that I was listening to them at first. They didn't "TRUST" that I was really hearing them and going to have a two way conversation.
Once I saw them starting to trust me, our relationship really started to blossom! My horses would come to the gate and put their heads in the halter, ready for whatever adventure was going to come our way! Mutually grooming became MUCH MORE Interactive! They would show me where they wanted scratched and I could point to my back and get the BEST back scratching EVER!!!! They are really good!!!!
The more our conversations blossomed, the more my courage returned riding them! My mares are calm, quiet, not buddy sour, not herd bound, and the best part, THEY ARE CURIOUS! I feel completely Blessed to be having true conversations with my horses. They don't always get what they want, again, think Parent and child relationship and I am responsible for their health and well being so I do have to do things they may not like. Treating wounds, trimming feet, staying safe riding, etc, but for the most part, we get to be PARTNERS in the joy now and it is worth everything to me!
I know you want to hear more, you made it this far! Here I talk about my 3 favorites in my goofy Youtube video, or, if you prefer you can read them in my Snippets!
I FELT the horses with me, I FELT Their HEART.
I was in a conversation this morning and the person really wanted to move to Hawaii, but was "LED" to move to Florida instead. As soon as she said it, I had a POWERFUL HEART emotional reaction!
Our horses, trust us to LEAD them, they do not know where they are being led, they put complete TRUST into us keeping them safe, leading them on their journey, and they trust us 100% to know the destination. This is so powerful for me. I need to trust and have faith that I am being led on this journey to courage and the journey to help others find their COURAGE!
I have struggled with fear and riding. I am coming to Trust my horse, for her to keep me safe. The more I trust her, the more confidence she gets. The more I LEAD her and keep her safe riding or on the ground, the more TRUST she has in me.
Courage Pennies!
Every step of trust, for me, for my horse, is a COURAGE PENNY! Picture a beautiful bowl for you and a beautiful bowl for your horse, and every step of trust, puts a shiny Courage Penny into those bowls. As those bowls fill up, FEAR has no room, Fear diminishes, FEAR GOES AWAY!
Simple exercise to start filling your bowl with your Courage Pennies:
I have been doing this and it is so rewarding! You can do it mounted or from the ground so that is a bonus!
- As you are with your horse or riding your horse, pay attention to them and their ears. Their ears tell a lot about their emotions so this is so important to get in tune with their ears. The best time to do this exercise the first few times is when their ears are relaxed or they are calm.
- Move as little as you can to get their ear to flick to you. In some cases, this might be a touch on the lead rope or rein, or a slight move of your foot, or a wave of your hand. In some cases, you will have to become a mountain lion to get their attention on you. Play with this. The goal is to get an ear to flick to you with just a SLIGHT movement. There are two purposes for this! They will start to pay attention to you with just very subtle connection and you will begin to pay attention to them before you get into a situation that they are already gone mentally.
- Once you have this working really well, it can take a few minutes or a few months so don't worry about how long it takes, start practicing it when things are escalating. When their EARS are FOCUSED on that DEER, That CAR Screeching BY, and you can control this with having people help you. Have someone crinkle a water bottle, that is a good one for triggering. Again repeat the exercise with getting an EAR.
- You want to do all of this on the ground and riding!
- Reward - 100 Courage Pennies for being able to do this subtle on the ground when they are VERY ALERT and 200 Courage Pennies when you get it riding!!!!!
If you have enjoyed this post and you are not already in my COURAGE group, please join our free group and get the support of all of us on this journey! Click Here! Happy, Courageous, Horses and Riders!
I absolutely LOVE summer, heat, humidity, they agree with me. But I also use summer heat as an EXCUSE not to ride!!!!
Who is with me on this one???? You get all dressed up to go ride, you walk out the door, and you think, maybe later, maybe I will get up earlier, maybe after they eat, maybe after I eat, EVERY EXCUSE in the book, I have used.
But what if you look at this differently. My main reason for not riding is FEAR, I will admit that. The FEAR of getting hurt! The heat seems like as good a reason as any NOT to ride. Can I USE HEAT, to my advantage?
What CAN I DO in the heat?
- Walk
- Halt
- Backing
- Small Bending Circles
- Turn on the forehand/haunches
- Leg Yields
- Serpentine - Using Reins or just the legs
- Etc.
GENIUS!
I have been doing this for a few days now with Taika and I have to admit, I am having a BLAST. Every minute spent on her back adds Courage Penny's into the Piggy Bank! I can feel my confidence growing and it is so simple. We are developing our partnership!
It is hot so she doesn't want to run off or bolt or do anything except stand. She gets the reward of a nice cool bath after. We find places that are in the shade which pushes me out of my comfort zone and are places I haven't ridden before but it is easy because she wants the shade too.
There is some prep involved that I recommend. If it is really hot you can hose off before riding, just make sure you sweat scrap. I always use my Thieves for Courage and Stress Away for Calm and they really help me! I wear my FROGG TOGG which has been a HUGE game changer for me (link at the bottom). I keep a bottle of water right by my grooming area, with my amazing electrolyte stuff to save me from passing out when I get off.
All of this has made for a GREAT Summer and I know that every foot step I take on the back of a horse, gives me one more penny in my Courage Bank!
If you have read this far, you might be interested in joining my FREE SUPPORT GROUP for people searching for their riding Courage!
I also have a bonus for you, 3 Easy Ways to Build Courage with Your Horse! Click Here To Get the BONUS!
There are so many places that I could start this part of my story. I have talked about the accident, I have talked about some of the things I have gone through, but I think I will start this part of the story with Taika. I lost my big jumper in 2013 and I just know that somehow, he brought Taika to me in Sept of that year. She was three and had flipped in the starting gate at the racetrack and fractured her skull and ended up with kissing spine (or the KS was the reason she flipped, we will never know which). Where did I start, where did I turn, what steps did I take? It was Daunting!
1. Fix the Physical!
My fear of flipping and her terror at flipping caused us to be a great match for an amazing learning journey. First things first, almost everyone really thought I should put her down. My heart told me different. I worked with vets/chiropractors and a lot of physical therapy exercises to heal her. It took three years but she was deemed 100% sound. During this time, I had learned a lot about horse training so I would be ready when she was ready to get back on.
2. Understand the training!
I found CJ Corral, Carson James, the Buckaroo Crew and through them I also found Warwick Schiller (and a few others). These trainers and supporters gave me the tools I thought I needed to enjoy riding again! It certainly helped. But, getting on and riding Taika again was petrifying. She was scared and I was scared. Just about every time I touched the left rein, she BOLTED RIGHT. We had a LONG way to go and a lot of fear to get over!
I had thought training the HORSE was the answer, WRONG....It is part of it, but not the WHOLE it.....we left out the most important part......
3. Healing our emotions! (Healing Taika's will be a future Blog post!)
Fear follows you, it hunts you down and surrounds you when you need it the least, or at least that is what I thought. Her fear, my fear, the combination was TNT. What I discovered was that I really needed both of our fear to GROW! I needed it to FIND my courage! I needed it to LIVE LIFE in the saddle again.
Finally, last August, I found the start of some help for me, my emotions! I had a lady help me with a process called Aroma Freedom Technique (AFT). My goal for the session was to enjoy riding again. The process we developed, was Thieves essential oil on the Left Wrist and Stress Away on the Right wrist. The left wrist gave me COURAGE, and the right wrist gave me CALM. This first step in the process of working on my emotions, was amazing and it STOPPED the Bolting Right, but I never understood the bolting right, at least not at this point.
I remember that day, the first day that we turned effortlessly left, the smile on my face was HUGE, and the relief in Taika, was palpable.
4. But was that all?
My journey continues. Emotionally healing takes time, effort, and most of all, it in and of itself, takes COURAGE. It is one day, one ride, one step at a time. It is understanding that emotions for both you and the horse flow, just like the tide, good days and not so good days. It takes courage to Not ride when things are not right, and it takes even more courage to NOT use FEAR as an excuse. It is a journey, and I have a long way to go on this journey.
I talk a bit more about my journey to emotional healing in a short Youtube video and it includes my latest breakthrough, for me, IT WAS HUGE. It explained the BOLTING RIGHT when I touched the Left rein, and it WASN'T WHAT I THOUGHT! To watch, Click here!
I love having support and supporting others with building Courage! If you haven't joined my FB group, Finding Courage, and are interested in a support community for Courage, click here!
1. Fix the Physical!
My fear of flipping and her terror at flipping caused us to be a great match for an amazing learning journey. First things first, almost everyone really thought I should put her down. My heart told me different. I worked with vets/chiropractors and a lot of physical therapy exercises to heal her. It took three years but she was deemed 100% sound. During this time, I had learned a lot about horse training so I would be ready when she was ready to get back on.
2. Understand the training!
I found CJ Corral, Carson James, the Buckaroo Crew and through them I also found Warwick Schiller (and a few others). These trainers and supporters gave me the tools I thought I needed to enjoy riding again! It certainly helped. But, getting on and riding Taika again was petrifying. She was scared and I was scared. Just about every time I touched the left rein, she BOLTED RIGHT. We had a LONG way to go and a lot of fear to get over!
I had thought training the HORSE was the answer, WRONG....It is part of it, but not the WHOLE it.....we left out the most important part......
3. Healing our emotions! (Healing Taika's will be a future Blog post!)
Fear follows you, it hunts you down and surrounds you when you need it the least, or at least that is what I thought. Her fear, my fear, the combination was TNT. What I discovered was that I really needed both of our fear to GROW! I needed it to FIND my courage! I needed it to LIVE LIFE in the saddle again.
Finally, last August, I found the start of some help for me, my emotions! I had a lady help me with a process called Aroma Freedom Technique (AFT). My goal for the session was to enjoy riding again. The process we developed, was Thieves essential oil on the Left Wrist and Stress Away on the Right wrist. The left wrist gave me COURAGE, and the right wrist gave me CALM. This first step in the process of working on my emotions, was amazing and it STOPPED the Bolting Right, but I never understood the bolting right, at least not at this point.
I remember that day, the first day that we turned effortlessly left, the smile on my face was HUGE, and the relief in Taika, was palpable.
4. But was that all?
My journey continues. Emotionally healing takes time, effort, and most of all, it in and of itself, takes COURAGE. It is one day, one ride, one step at a time. It is understanding that emotions for both you and the horse flow, just like the tide, good days and not so good days. It takes courage to Not ride when things are not right, and it takes even more courage to NOT use FEAR as an excuse. It is a journey, and I have a long way to go on this journey.
I talk a bit more about my journey to emotional healing in a short Youtube video and it includes my latest breakthrough, for me, IT WAS HUGE. It explained the BOLTING RIGHT when I touched the Left rein, and it WASN'T WHAT I THOUGHT! To watch, Click here!
I love having support and supporting others with building Courage! If you haven't joined my FB group, Finding Courage, and are interested in a support community for Courage, click here!
I can't get back the days I have missed riding. I can't get back the joy I would have had riding on those days. They are GONE forever. I have been going through a grieving process for those days..... A cleansing......
I have lost hundreds of hours using FEAR as an excuse. I am not going to lie and say it is all ok....it ISN'T.
So, let's really look at fear and what I am going to do differently in the future, and what you can do!
FEAR is ok, it is natural and we should and do feel it! But, the first thing we have to do, is evaluate the FEAR.
What is causing us fear?
1. Is it something we need to do something about immediately. Example: I am afraid when my horse pins her ears at me.....THIS NEEDS IMMEDIATE ACTION.....The horse is communicating with you and you need to have the conversation with the horse. Every case is different, I can't tell you what to do in your particular situation, but I can tell you, your horse is communicating with you, are you listening?
2. Is it something that we are carrying with us from the past? There are things we can DO to get past that. Example: The horse I was riding Flipped over on me, in 2000 because he was bit by a black widow. I have missed HOURS of riding and enjoying my horses because I carried that fear, from the past along with me......it was heavy, it was daunting, and it was IN THE PAST. (See the 3 Snaps exercise reference below!)
Fear should be evaluated, honored, and then either ACT if appropriate as in Number 1, or Let it go as in number 2.....but Don't let it be the excuse you are not enjoying your horses and riding. This will be OUR path to COURAGE...together.....You, me, and our beautiful horses!
What are some things we can do?
1. Coaching session (My FB group did one last week, it Helped tremendously). Join our support community, Finding Courage where we share and learn and grow through our challenges and fears. We even once in a while get a surprise guest to help us out, Like Mindsets Matter with Jazz! (Link will be at the end).
2. Get help with your horse if the fear is associated with your current horse. In my opinion, make sure the help is for YOU to help the horse and the two of you get that help together. I don't like the idea of sending a horse to a trainer because in my experience, Most, not all, issues are communication between you and your horse and that is what needs to be embraced!
3. Ruling out all health issues for you and most importantly, the horse.
4. Use props and techniques that you can learn to help you. I love using oils on me and the horses, for courage and calm. I love the 3 snaps technique (More information a little further down). I love pretending to be my favorite trainer. Different things work for different people. I was given advice to Sing when I get nervous. When I tried that one, my horse stopped, pinned her ears, and tried to bite my foot.....guess that wasn't for me.....but the point is, find things to help you. I wrote 3 snippets about this which you can get at the end of this blog, so keep reading!
Summary of the story, Don't let fear be an excuse to keep you from riding your horse if it is something that happened in the past or you are afraid will happen in the future.
Here are some changes I have MADE!
I rode Run Binky Run, today, May 24th, 2020. She came home in Oct, 2018, and I used FEAR from the day she got here until now, NOT to get on her....She was a DREAM, so relaxed and amazing to ride. I rode Michelle's Fault today. Her 4th ride since arriving off the track, Dec. 30th, 2019 and the first since Jan. 6th. No lunging for either one, no fuss, no fear....just brushed, tacked up and got on and rode! So much freedom, So much Calm, So much Courage! and the best....SO MUCH JOY!
Here is a little summary of the coaching we had in the FINDING COURAGE FB group.....
We had an AMAZING Group coaching call, with Jazz, at Mindsets Matter in my Finding Courage, support community. She helped four of us, work through our FEAR. She helped each of us look at it and FEEL it. She helped each of us go through a process, that fit our specifics, to process that fear into LOVE. For me, the connection I have had to the accident in 2000, was SEVERED....not fixed, not released, but sent back to heaven with my Thank you for all that it has served me to be turned back into divine love. The process was beautiful, crazy, intense, and a huge SHIFT in my very center.
This wasn't what I expected, I have been through a lot of counseling and work after the horse flipped on me, but it was on a cellular level and it was VERY GOOD. If you ever have a need to work through fear, consider having Jazz help you, JUMP ON IT, click here to contact Jazz!! (Ask her to give you the 3 Snaps Technique, HUGE).
My favorite quote from Jazz during the session: Forgiveness is the KEY, Love is the ANSWER.
This did lead to some GRIEVING.....for the fear...it is gone, it is now love, but...IT IS NO LONGER AN EXCUSE! COURAGE ON my friends! Courage on.
If you read this far, you deserve a bonus.....Click here to get my Snippets, 3 Easy Ways to build Courage with your horse.
I have lost hundreds of hours using FEAR as an excuse. I am not going to lie and say it is all ok....it ISN'T.
So, let's really look at fear and what I am going to do differently in the future, and what you can do!
FEAR is ok, it is natural and we should and do feel it! But, the first thing we have to do, is evaluate the FEAR.
What is causing us fear?
1. Is it something we need to do something about immediately. Example: I am afraid when my horse pins her ears at me.....THIS NEEDS IMMEDIATE ACTION.....The horse is communicating with you and you need to have the conversation with the horse. Every case is different, I can't tell you what to do in your particular situation, but I can tell you, your horse is communicating with you, are you listening?
2. Is it something that we are carrying with us from the past? There are things we can DO to get past that. Example: The horse I was riding Flipped over on me, in 2000 because he was bit by a black widow. I have missed HOURS of riding and enjoying my horses because I carried that fear, from the past along with me......it was heavy, it was daunting, and it was IN THE PAST. (See the 3 Snaps exercise reference below!)
Fear should be evaluated, honored, and then either ACT if appropriate as in Number 1, or Let it go as in number 2.....but Don't let it be the excuse you are not enjoying your horses and riding. This will be OUR path to COURAGE...together.....You, me, and our beautiful horses!
What are some things we can do?
1. Coaching session (My FB group did one last week, it Helped tremendously). Join our support community, Finding Courage where we share and learn and grow through our challenges and fears. We even once in a while get a surprise guest to help us out, Like Mindsets Matter with Jazz! (Link will be at the end).
2. Get help with your horse if the fear is associated with your current horse. In my opinion, make sure the help is for YOU to help the horse and the two of you get that help together. I don't like the idea of sending a horse to a trainer because in my experience, Most, not all, issues are communication between you and your horse and that is what needs to be embraced!
3. Ruling out all health issues for you and most importantly, the horse.
4. Use props and techniques that you can learn to help you. I love using oils on me and the horses, for courage and calm. I love the 3 snaps technique (More information a little further down). I love pretending to be my favorite trainer. Different things work for different people. I was given advice to Sing when I get nervous. When I tried that one, my horse stopped, pinned her ears, and tried to bite my foot.....guess that wasn't for me.....but the point is, find things to help you. I wrote 3 snippets about this which you can get at the end of this blog, so keep reading!
Summary of the story, Don't let fear be an excuse to keep you from riding your horse if it is something that happened in the past or you are afraid will happen in the future.
Here are some changes I have MADE!
I rode Run Binky Run, today, May 24th, 2020. She came home in Oct, 2018, and I used FEAR from the day she got here until now, NOT to get on her....She was a DREAM, so relaxed and amazing to ride. I rode Michelle's Fault today. Her 4th ride since arriving off the track, Dec. 30th, 2019 and the first since Jan. 6th. No lunging for either one, no fuss, no fear....just brushed, tacked up and got on and rode! So much freedom, So much Calm, So much Courage! and the best....SO MUCH JOY!
Here is a little summary of the coaching we had in the FINDING COURAGE FB group.....
We had an AMAZING Group coaching call, with Jazz, at Mindsets Matter in my Finding Courage, support community. She helped four of us, work through our FEAR. She helped each of us look at it and FEEL it. She helped each of us go through a process, that fit our specifics, to process that fear into LOVE. For me, the connection I have had to the accident in 2000, was SEVERED....not fixed, not released, but sent back to heaven with my Thank you for all that it has served me to be turned back into divine love. The process was beautiful, crazy, intense, and a huge SHIFT in my very center.
This wasn't what I expected, I have been through a lot of counseling and work after the horse flipped on me, but it was on a cellular level and it was VERY GOOD. If you ever have a need to work through fear, consider having Jazz help you, JUMP ON IT, click here to contact Jazz!! (Ask her to give you the 3 Snaps Technique, HUGE).
My favorite quote from Jazz during the session: Forgiveness is the KEY, Love is the ANSWER.
This did lead to some GRIEVING.....for the fear...it is gone, it is now love, but...IT IS NO LONGER AN EXCUSE! COURAGE ON my friends! Courage on.
If you read this far, you deserve a bonus.....Click here to get my Snippets, 3 Easy Ways to build Courage with your horse.
