It was a really windy day. Tarps and boxes were blowing around and the noise from the leaves in the trees was like a freight train. I took Michelle for a walk because other than the wind, the day was gorgeous. I thought it would be good to practice walking behind me at the end of the lead rope.
Up the hill, she was so good. She stayed back and we had a great walk. Around the corner of the pasture, we kept walking and voila, the cardboard flew off the car trailer right next to us. It gave us a great opportunity to do some work and ignore the cardboard. She did very well but I could tell I was at her threshold.
We turned to walk back to the pasture gate. She was at the end of the lead rope behind me, but I could tell she was a powder keg by now. I kept checking over my shoulder to make sure she didn't run me over and she escalated some more. I checked more. Then, BAM, it hit me. Can horses sense fear? YES!
She didn't know I was worried about her running me over. She thought I was worried about what was behind us, the cardboard, attacking. When I had that realization, I immediately started walking confidently just like I had on the way out. It was a drastic difference for her. She immediately blew out and started to relax. She followed along at the end of the lead rope, and I knew she wasn't going to run me over. I was confident. I needed to be her leader, not the person afraid of being run over. As soon as I let go of the fear behind me, she let go of the fear behind her and we had a lovely walk back to the pasture.
As I was reviewing this later, I realized that the fear of what is behind us is far more than just in that moment. My fear of my accident in 2000 was a fear of what was behind me, in the past. There are so many fears that we carry along that are behind us. These fears are an anchor holding us back from living life to the fullest. Drop the anchors, raise the sails and become the captain of your life!
If you have the right horse for you, yes! A lot of riding anxiety comes from mismatched horse and rider. We feel like we are giving up if we sell the horse to a better home for that horse, but I think it is just the opposite.
If a horse isn't a good fit for a person, and we keep them, the horse feels bad that it isn't right. I have sold a few that were not good fits for me, and they blossomed in their new homes. It was hard for me to watch but so rewarding all at the same time.
Horses don't want to hurt us, once we are herd members. Bonding with the horse and learning how to communicate with each horse is so important.
There are horses that are more timid, communicating with them can require a little more finesses but it is amazing to see them gain confidence through clear, quiet communication.
Horses that are more outgoing and maybe even aggressive, require more confidence and "louder" communication. Timing is so important to really show them that you are a partner and can be trusted to lead.
If we let our horses, they will teach us how to relax, breath, ride. In the time since my accident, I have learned so much about my own courage, my fears, and the things that work for me to gain courage. (I share this journey back to courage in my book if you would be interested in reading the whole story, click here). When I get on, if I tense up, I can feel them tense up. I can practice breathing, especially, exhaling, to calm me and feel the horse calm too. I started out with taking four steps. I felt like I was on cloud nine after those first four steps back. Sounds silly, but it was huge for me.
As we build our courage, it will carry over to all areas of our lives. I have become braver in all areas of my life. I am more confident with work, with speaking up for me, with sharing my fears and my successes with others to help them along. I never would have written two books if it wasn't for this amazing journey back to courage and this was enabled by my horses. wasn't for this amazing journey back to courage and this was enabled by my horses.
How to get over horse riding fear depends on what type of fear you are feeling. When I first heard this, it made so much sense to really delve into what type of fear I was feeling and base the answer on the type of fear.
The first type is real fear. This is the fear I feel when my horse starts bucking or rearing. This is the type of fear when I am riding along and see a poisonous snake. This is the type of fear when I am riding along, and a mountain lion drops onto the tail of my horse. All of these fears I have experienced first-hand. The answer to getting over this type of fear is to take action. In these moments, I have to "DO" something. If my horse is bucking, I have to get her to stop. A snake, I need to go around it. The mountain lion, I had to hang on for dear life until I got home. Action is required.
The second type of fear is perceived fear. This is when riding along and seeing what looks like a poisonous snake ahead and it is a tree limb. This is saddling up and having the wind pick up and blowing the trees around. This is having the horse slip and thinking they are bucking. This type of fear requires thinking, evaluation, determination if the fear is real and necessary. If the snake turns out to be a tree branch, no action necessary. With the wind blowing, adjust the ride to stay out from under trees that might have branches falling. Feel the horse and realize that it wasn't a buck but just the horse slipping. In all of these, action may or may not need to be taken but it isn't immediate.
The third type of fear and the one we practice the most, is imaginary fear. This is the "What if's". This is the imagination running wild with all the things that might happen. This robs us of our joy. This robs our horses of knowing that we are present. This is the one that we can overcome! If you are going to use your imagination, pick the "What If's" that you actually want! It takes practice but why not? What if my ride is glorious? What if my horse and I really connect on the ride and have a ton of fun? We get to pick and choose our what if's so why not pick the ones that we want to have happen?
If you have enjoyed hearing my thoughts on fear, you might enjoy my free guide: 3 Ways to Stop Panic
