I remember the excitement of going to the track to see this three-year-old filly.
I'd lost my big jumper—my heart horse—and somehow, I just knew he had brought Taika to me.
She had unlimited potential.
I had plans.
So many plans.
I was going to start competing with her in the spring.
Except riding her wasn't quite going according to plan.
For 20 or 30 minutes, she could have a lovely trot and canter.
And then...
REAR.
Full height.
She'd come back down and turn into a bronc at a rodeo for what felt like forever.
If I could ride it, she'd eventually go right back to that lovely trot and we'd carry on.
If I couldn't...
I hit the ground.
Something wasn't right.
Then Came the Diagnosis
Kissing spine.
Along with a fractured skull.
I felt like I'd been punched and all the air had left my body.
Devastation.
This amazing young horse I'd fallen in love with—the horse I thought would be my next competition partner—had kissing spine.
And I felt completely helpless.
Everyone around me seemed to have an answer.
Put her down.
She'll never be safe.
She'll always be in pain.
The more I heard, the more crushed I felt.
Because underneath the diagnosis was this sweet young mare I'd bonded with from the moment I met her at the track.
I couldn't look at her and see a diagnosis.
I saw Taika.
And I wasn't ready to give up on her.
A Diagnosis Can Change the Dream
This is something I understand very differently today.
When we get a scary diagnosis for our horse, we aren't only processing the medical information.
We're grieving the future we'd already imagined.
The trail rides.
The competitions.
The jumping.
The horse we thought we'd have.
The rider we thought we'd be with them.
One conversation with a veterinarian can suddenly make that entire future feel like it disappeared.
That's where I was.
I didn't know what Taika's future looked like anymore.
And maybe that's one of the hardest parts.
Not knowing.
Then We Found a Glimmer of Hope
I started researching.
I worked with professionals.
I found an amazing chiropractor.
And eventually...
we had a game plan.
For Taika, that included carefully building the muscles that supported her back, regular chiropractic care, addressing her feet, and giving her a LOT of time.
Not weeks.
Not months.
Three years.
Three years of paying attention.
Adjusting.
Learning.
Watching her body.
Trying something.
Seeing how she responded.
And adjusting again.
There wasn't one magic thing that changed everything.
It was a process.
Taika's Story Had a Different Ending Than I Feared
Eventually, Taika was cleared for everything.
Even jumping.
The horse I'd been told might never be safe became an amazing riding partner.
No rearing.
No bronc rides.
Just...
Taika.
And somewhere along the way, she became my heart horse.
The three-year-old filly I thought might replace the horse I'd lost didn't replace him at all.
She created her own place.
And what a place that became.
This Isn't a Kissing Spine Treatment Plan
I want to be very clear about something I probably didn't understand well enough when I originally wrote this story.
What worked for Taika is Taika's story.
It isn't a treatment plan for another horse with kissing spine.
Every horse is different.
Every diagnosis is different.
And veterinary understanding and treatment options continue to change.
If your horse has been diagnosed with kissing spine, work with your veterinarian and the qualified professionals on your horse's team to understand what the diagnosis means for your horse.
But there's something I can tell you from experience.
You Don't Know the Ending on Diagnosis Day
If you've just heard a diagnosis that made your stomach drop...
I remember that feeling.
You may be grieving.
You may be scared.
You may be wondering whether you'll ever ride your horse again.
You may be looking at thousands of dollars in treatment and wondering how you're supposed to make any of these decisions.
You may have people around you telling you exactly what you should do.
And you may simply feel...
crushed.
You don't have to figure out the entire future today.
You need information.
You need good people around you.
You need to listen to your horse.
And sometimes...
you need enough courage to take one more step.
Then another.
Then another.
Taika's journey took three years.
I couldn't see the ending from the beginning.
All I could do was take the next step in front of us.
Sometimes Courage Is Just the Next Penny
That's one of the reasons I love Courage Pennies so much.
We tend to think courage needs to look BIG.
Making the decision.
Getting back on.
Overcoming the fear.
But sometimes courage looks like making one phone call.
Asking one more question.
Getting another piece of information.
Spending ten quiet minutes with your horse.
Or simply getting through today without deciding what the rest of your lives together have to look like.
Those are Courage Pennies too.
Tiny deposits of courage when you don't have much courage to spare.
And when life with horses hands you one of those moments that feels absolutely crushing...
we need all the Courage Pennies we can get.
If you could use a few of your own right now, you can get my free Courage Pennies eBook and start collecting them one tiny step at a time.
Because you don't have to know the ending today.
Sometimes...
you just need enough courage for the next step.
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