Sitting on the hillside, with the sun on my back, and just the amazing feeling all the way to the center of the earth was how I used to spend my lunch times. It was an overlook for a whole stand of eucalyptus trees that seemed to go on forever. The leaves would shimmer and the trees would sway. As I watched, I could see the energy of the wind, blow from one side of the field to the other side of the field and swirl around in between. I was mesmerized by being able to watch the energy of the wind.
Laying down in the lush moss, beside a creek with the sun and shadows all around. I could see the water swirling around rocks and moving faster in the skinnier areas and slow and steady in the wider areas of the creek. I could see the energy of the water.
Sitting there this morning, watching the horses in the pasture, moving around, and being horses. Binky laid down and had a great roll. While she was laying down, Michelle joined her, really getting into the dirt and dust and putting all her effort into the roll. Taika was pickier, looking for a place to lay down and circling the spots that looked good. Before Taika could lay down, and while Binky was sitting on her way up from her roll, Michelle jumped up and ran, bucking! That intense energy I could feel and both Binky and Taika joined in. They circled the pasture a few times, bucking and playing. Swinging their heads and exuding pure joy. I realized I was feeling and watching the energy of beings. I had the privilege, even though there was a distance between us, of feeling their energy and being part of it.
I have thought about energy and how it pushes and/or pulls things to us or away from us. These visuals of energy are real. They can be felt and seen. I hate sleeping with a fan on, that steady dribble of fake wind. I love sleeping with the windows open and feeling the touch of the breeze on my cheeks. I have played with magnets, repelling each other or attracting each other. I have played with a horse and our hearts, liberty lunging with no physical connection.
Play with your energy. Observe the energy all around you. Anxiety and joy are energies that can't exist in the same place, practice the energy of joy.
If you have enjoyed this, check out my free PDF - Five Energy Games to play with your horse!
Your horse is just dozing off, circling to lay down and get a good sleep in, when cars go whizzing by and startle him. Your horse starts to doze off again when a truck uses its airbrake to slow down, and your horse is once again startled awake. All through the night, the noises continue, sometimes less, sometimes more, deep sleep just isn't possible on most nights. Your horse is exhausted and trying to tell you, they need sleep. They try really hard to be good but little things shock them, or they start to see things as they are being ridden.
You try everything, but nothing seems to help. You take your horse to a show and there, he is so good, he sleeps deeply, and is refreshed for once. You ride and he just seems like a different horse. It isn't conscious really, but you can feel the shift. One day, you move barns, and all of a sudden, your horse is different. Now, not only is he trying to be good, but he is good. He is different, relaxed, calm in his being. It takes some time, but you finally make the connection, he was sleep deprived.
It can be anything. It can be the neighbors' donkeys braying all night or the packs of coyotes hunting and howling all around the property. It can be PTSD from past trauma that is keeping the horse from getting a deep sleep. It can even be a horse with restless leg syndrome, that runs in their sleep and tears their legs up. These horses need compassion and understanding. They are trying to tell us something that we often don't think about.
I do night checks here usually around 10pm and I can tell you, it is loud. Owls, coyotes, fox (which sound like women screaming), and any number of other critters hooping and hollering. I now know why my horses lay down and sleep hard in the warm morning sun. It is so quiet here in the mornings.
If you horse is always on edge, or just can't seem to fix the training issues, expand your vision. Look outside what you have thought about. I would have never really thought of this but the freeway to a quiet place was drastic and dramatic and is a great example of taking a step back and really looking at the big picture along with the daily details.
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There were 60 of us, sitting in folding chairs in an arena, with horses and ponies running all over the place. The first couple of people to do an exercise looked like it was very challenging. There was one pretty gray arab mare that was frazzled. She looked like she had ADHD and was just freaked out.
My turn came to do an exercise in front of the crowd. I picked the frazzled gray mare as my partner, I thought we both needed each other. The first assignment was to have the horse stand still, and for me to walk around the horse. That horse was all over the place, and it was hard to even get two steps around her before she was off doing something else. This was all at liberty of course.
The second exercise was to stand still and have the horse walk around us. My gut reaction, "I CAN'T DO THIS!" As soon as I had the thought, a feeling came over me, I can do this. It was an overwhelming whisper, deep inside. I went to the center of the arena and closed my eyes. I pictured her going around me and I felt my heart connected to her heart. I would glance up every once in a while, and there she was, calm, quiet, peaceful, walking around me. I thought let's see what we can do. I pictured her coming in closer and she did. I pictured her going out further and she did. I pictured her changing directions, and she did. I pictured her trotting quietly with her head low and she did.
Our exercise was supposed to be 10 minutes, but for 30 minutes, we were there, in the center, connected heart to heart. The audience was silent. In their own thoughts of wonder. The owner of the horse and the practitioners were in shock.
I finally just stopped, and she came to me and pressed her head into my chest, and we just breathed together. In that moment, I knew for the rest of my life, when I had doubt, I would think of the pretty gray mare and know, "I CAN".
This was the most powerful moment I have ever had in my life. It was a precious gift from God.
That quickness of breath, the sweaty palms, the tension rising in the body happens to me when I think about my accident. The interesting thing is watching my horses and realizing that they also feel the memories of accidents. I can see their neck arch, their breathing increases, maybe even to the point of snorting, and their whole-body fills with tension.
I am so good at working with my horses, to help them overcome their memories of accidents. But I wasn't as good at doing the same thing for me and I really started to look at the differences. With my horses, I would teach them to relax. I have a few favorite tools that I use to get them "up" and then I show them how to relax. I have to change their memory of what happened by showing them a different way to be, showing them, they are in control of their emotion.
Wow, showing them control. That is also the key for us, or at least it was for me. I looked back at the accident, and I dissected it. What led up to it? How did it happen? Were there signs I could have seen before it happened? Even if I didn't know the answers, I could put the things in place to at least going forward, control the pre-accident situation.
It was so powerful to put the pieces into place to know that I had prepared myself to prevent future accidents. Can they still happen, yes, but that feeling of control helped in the recovery from the accident mentally. It built my confidence and courage and allowed me to continue enjoying riding. I really thought about a car accident I had; did it stop me from driving? Why let the horse accident stop me from riding?
The pieces I put in place are my pre-ride checklists. One for the rider, is my mind right. And one for the horse, are they ready to be ridden. I feel like a pilot checking out an airplane before a flight. It is methodical. It is predefined. They follow it exactly, every time they fly. It prevents accidents to the best of the ability. We can do the same for riding our horses and bring a piece of mind, even after an accident.
If you enjoyed this, you might enjoy my free guide: 3 Ways to Stop Panic
This applies to so many things in life! What if I lose my job, my money, my health, etc.? There are so many things in life that can pull us into the "What if" bucket. Horses and people that have had an accident with a horse, seem to send the what if imagination into overdrive. How do we turn that around?
Here are my thoughts.
1. It takes observation! When we notice we have a negative what if thought, about anything, switch it to something positive. Example: What if I fall off my horse? STOP! Change it to What if I have an amazing, relaxing ride! What if's haven't happened yet, so why not pick things that make us feel good instead of picking stuff that makes us feel bad?
2. We can practice. Sit on your couch, or better yet, lay down in the yard watching the clouds go by, doesn't matter but get comfortable. Bring up your BIG what if. Think about it. Notice how you emotionally feel. Notice how you physically feel. Then create an amazing what if. Put a lot of detail into it. Put all your senses into it. Example: What if we have a lovely ride. We are in sync, and I can feel the rhythm of my horse's feet. We feel like we are dancing together, as one. We soak up the sunshine and can feel the light breeze on our cheeks. After you do this, really feel the difference. Physically and emotionally.
3. Look at the root of your what if's. Was it a memory, is it imagination? What is the base to your what if. Once you have that, make a choice to change it. For me, my root was an accident. I focused on changing the memory of my accident, into a vivid cartoon. Now, when I think what if my horse flips, I laugh. I see Wile-E-Coyote and the Road Runner.
Most importantly, live your life with joy. If you enjoy riding, or used to, find a way to get back into the saddle and enjoy!
If you would like to see the process I went through, here is a link to my book about my journey back to courage and getting over my "What if's"! Get the book now!
