The sounds of the horses' hooves, running backwards on the road, the feeling of sitting on a powder keg, trying to get off before dying, the feeling of the horse flipping over backwards on me, not knowing how to get him off of me, being crushed under his weight, were the thoughts running through my head over and over. 

I would start to shake, just thinking back to that day.  There were so many things I should have known, before I ever got on that horse.  I missed all the signs.  I missed all the signs that God was telling me not to go.  How could I ever overcome reliving these memories?  I felt so alone, in my fear.  Trainers didn't understand.  Friends just wanted me "back to normal".  Get on and do it was the common saying.

I didn't think I could get help, so I had to figure it out.  First of all, I didn't think it was fair to the horse for me to get on and ride with that much fear, it wasn't their fear or their fault.  I started setting visions for how I wanted rides to go.  I started by filling myself up with feeling of joy.  I filled myself up with the feelings from the amazing rides before the accident.  As I did this, I realized that it was a huge help, but not the complete picture.  

I put together a pre-ride checklist for me and the horse, that gave me comfort, knowing I would see the signs, before ever getting on.  I planned my first rides; my goal was to take 4 steps and re-evaluate.  If the horse lifted its head or got tense at all, I immediately got off, shaking so while all of this helped a lot, it wasn't complete.  I found some great products to help.  One for calm before even getting on, one for calm in the saddle, and one for courage so that I could be the leader my horse needed me to be.  (Link here is interested).

Put together, this got me back riding again, and enjoying it!  The keys were planning, knowing at least when I was getting on that things were good, and having an exit plan just in case.  The added bonus was the products that even when stuff did happen, stopped the shaking and let me think clearly.  It was not an easy journey, but it was rewarding.  If we have a car accident, we don't stop driving, why do we stop riding?

For the whole process I used, you can check out my book!  

Going through hard times makes us stronger.  Or are we already stronger than we could ever imagine, and we just don't know it?

After my accident, I was questioning, am I strong enough?  It can't only be about physical strength.  Our horses will always be stronger than we are.  We do have to be physically strong enough to care for our horses.  We have to be able to groom, saddle, mount, ride, unsaddle, and so many other things to be a good partner for our horses.  But it isn't just that physical strength.  It is strength of character and heart.

This shows up in the subtle things and the big things.  Today, as I was trying to trim Michelle's front right hoof, she kept turning her head between me and her.  She kept trying to put me in her left eye.  I would just back up a bit and give her time to allow me into her space on the right side.  I had a time schedule that I needed to be back in for a meeting, but I also knew I needed to get her feet trimmed.  Today, I was strong enough to wait.  I was strong enough to hold that space for her to relax and allow me onto her right side.  I started to feel the stress come up, the needing to get it done.  But my strength of heart took over and gave her time to catch up to me.  To relax into me.  It took an hour, but I got both front feet trimmed and she was much quieter when we finished.  I never had to "get after her" or "make her stand".  I let her move, I let her block me, I let her tell me she just wasn't comfortable, emotionally.

I had the strength to trim some of her right front foot from the left side.  That didn't seem to bother her at all, and it let me show her that she could stand and hold up the right front foot.  Normally I would duck under the neck and go to the other side.  I knew this would disrespect her and so I didn't.  I backed up and went around the front, allowing her to say no.  To keep her head between us.  I rubbed her face and loved on her until she relaxed enough to let me in, to give me the gift of her foot.

Am I strong enough?  Today I was.  We are all stronger than we could ever imagine and sometimes, we need to tap into that strength to notice the subtle things and do the right thing for our horses.  

I have a fun foot exercise in this youtube video I did a while back.  I guess I need to do some of this with Michelle!  If you would like a fun challenge to do with your horses feet, click here!

I played the guessing game with this for a while before looking at the answer.  I knew it wasn't jumping, or polo, or racing. But what about hunters, trail riding, or liberty work?  Boy was I wrong.  The safest sport according to my research is Vaulting!  This was shocking to me at first until I really looked at it, and how it can help me be safer in any horse riding I do!

First of all, it is rhythmical, at least for the horse.  The horse goes in a circle and the horse canters in a rhythm.  How can I apply this? How does rhythm fit in?  This is something I had not thought about, but really makes sense.  If we can practice with our horses, walking in rhythm, and make corrections if they change the rhythm without us, won't we have a horse more in tune to us?  A horse that is more relaxed because it has one job, go at this pace?  IT keeps us focused on the connection with the horse, not matter what we are doing.  It is easy to practice too.  Fast Walk 10 steps, SLLLOOOWWW walk 10 steps until it is really good then start doing it at the trot.  Imagine how responsive your horse will be to you.  Fast rhythm, slow rhythm.

The second thing that stands out is that it builds on what has come before, repetition.  The vaulters practice on their own, without a horse.  They practice a move until they are good before they ever mount.  They start small, getting on and getting off.  Over and over.   I have talked a lot about some of Warwick Schiller's principles and this falls right in line.  I get on and take four steps and decide to go back, get off, or go on.  Then I get to 50 steps and same questions.  It is repetitive.  If I have any issues getting to the 50 steps, I turn around and go back to the beginning.  A lot like playing a video game.  You start over and over and over and get really good before moving to the next level.  

Imagine what a relief it will be to our horses to know that we have them, that we expect them to be the best that they can be and will be the best we can be for them.  It will improve our confidence and our timing.  We will get better and better and most importantly, we will be safer!

If you are not riding yet, or want to improve your connection before trying the above, here is my free guide with some Ground Play examples!  Just click here!

The horses were happily munching their breakfast today.  The wind was swirling around, and a bunch of little dust devils were blowing through carrying the fall leaves for a ride.  I was cleaning the three-sided shed as while I listened to them munching.  Then I heard a crazy noise.  

All around the horses' legs, feet, faces, etc, was a packaging pillow.  One of those air-filled pillow sacks had blown off our porch and was dancing with the horses.  I heard it first for a while and then I looked.  The horses had not moved.  They were happily munching away with it battering around beneath them.  I started to panic but it was only a split second.  I completely relaxed.  In that split second, they all three lifted their heads, looked at me, and then because I had relaxed again, they all just went back to breakfast.  I know if I had panicked, they would have too.  I know because I was able to just forget about it and enjoy the show, they were fine.

There are so many times, when our emotions get in the way, and we are not even aware.  Leading Michelle, a few weeks ago, and thinking she was going to run me over had her convinced something was chasing both of us.  Playing with Michelle with the flag, she was in a panic.  I set it down on the ground and walked away, she walked right up and played with it.  

I have done this riding so many times too!  It is so powerful to change our thoughts and feelings around to the positive.  To the amazing rides, the amazing partnership with our horses, and truly step into that feeling of being the leader, the safe place for the horses, for our little herd.

How?  We start by playing the what if game with amazing things that could happen.  We fill ourselves up with amazing ride feelings until there is no room for fear to creep in.  We can even pretend to be a trainer that we admire if we want!  Whatever it takes, if we want to ride, we can make it happen.

If you would like to see a few more ideas I have for feeling better about our rides, Click here.

I started to write about riding horses if you really want to ride horses. Don't let anything stop you.  I was going to give a pep talk on making it happen.  But then I realized, the loss of confidence can turn into feeling like riding would be a chore, at least it did for me.  So I changed course and decided to write about how to have fun riding again.  I have had so much fun and thinking about it, helps me want to get on and ride!

 

First of all, riding a horse, is all about the connection to your very best friend.  It is like going to the mall and shopping with your bestie, only riding a horse takes that connection one step further to actually feeling the rhythm between the two of you physically.  Hearts connected and bodies connected.  That feeling of pure joy as the two of you see the sights together.

 

With that in mind, riding can be fun for both of you.  I spent most of my hours riding as a kid, riding trails and playing, almost no time in an arena.  We would race each other and even race motorcycles.  We would jump over anything and everything that we could find.  I think my favorite was playing tag in the heat of summer.  We would swim in the ponds and if our horses touched the ground, we were out and had to sit out in the heat until everyone was out.  We would do this for 8 or 9 hours.  I think back now to our poor horses swimming for hours but I think they enjoyed not being in the 100 degree heat.

 

As an adult, I love to play "I Spy", "Red Rover", and tag (having the horse touch all kinds of stuff while I am riding).  I also love a good jumper competition but the arena work can feel too much like work!  What are two or three things you can do to make riding more fun for you?  Think about them, picture them, get excited about having that fun on your horse again.  It will help overcome the confidence issues as you bring joy into your thoughts of riding, more and more.

 

Picture what that fun will look like.  Develop that picture and share that picture with your horse.  The more you can imagine that fun, the better you will feel about riding. 

 

Why is horseback riding fun?  I would love to hear the number one thing you would enjoy having fun with your horse!  Whether it is riding or not riding, not everyone wants to ride.

 

If you enjoyed this and would like to see some fun ways to ground play with your horse, you can get my guide, 5 Fabulous Ground Play Challenges here!