I got the pleasure of watching “What About Bob” again this weekend and while watching it, it hit me, how similar this movie is to horses, riders, and FEAR. It also hit me that it has some of the answers to how to overcome.
First of all, horse fear. There are so many horses out there that are “BOB”. They are afraid, and they don’t know how to process their fear. That is where we can step in and be “Dr. Marvin”. Baby Steps!
We can practice taking only one step with the horse, introducing something new, one thing at a time. If you have never worked with a tarp, introduce the tarp. Don’t add on an umbrella, a trailer ride to another place, and 10 other things. For a horse that is afraid, add one thing at a time. This is just like Bob going sailing. He did one thing at a time and overcame his fear! Our horses will build confidence as each they overcome each new thing. You can review all the previous things but only introduce one new thing.
Secondly, rider fear. There are so many “BOB” riders out there. Raise your hand if you are one of them! ME!!!! There are a bunch of lessons for riders and here are the three that I put at the top:
- Just do it. Bob takes a vacation from his fear. Leave the fear at your house and just go do it. You have all the tools, you have the experience, so just go do it. (If it is something new for you, see the horse one above).
- Baby Steps. Get on and ride, plan how many steps you are going to take, then stop and re-evaluate. My first few times, I did 4 steps. I stopped and then decided to do 4 more or get off but I rode my first few rides with a plan of 4 steps. Baby steps.
- IGNORE what others are saying….lalalalalalalal……their opinions don’t matter. Stay in your heart and stay in your gut feelings. Ignore the nay sayers (you can pay attention if they are giving you good advice you align with, but if there is any tension from what they said, just ignore it, it won't serve you).
Thirdly, When the Horses are Dr. Marvin, and We are BOB. – This is the most powerful for me.
You can see the frustration and anger in Dr. Marvin. It just builds and builds. Why won’t this “bob” person listen. Why are they not understanding? Why are they in my face, in my business, making me adjust to your insecurities?
Really think about the horse’s perspective like Dr. Marvin with a crazy patient (rider) like BOB. This way eye opening for me. No wonder my horses don’t want me to ride them, interact with them. It is my garbage and not theirs! I need to become BOB on his vacation from his fears!!!!
What can I do?
I can make sure I am looking forward to the interaction with my horses. If I am feeling fear, I need to take care of that first or take a vacation from it, but it doesn't belong around the horses.
I can take baby steps tailored for me.
I can reassure my horses and let them set the pace for me. If they don't want me to ride them, I need to play with them until they are confident enough, I am ready to ride them. I taught mine to pick me up at the mounting block, if they don't want to, I don't get on. They will let me know when we are both ready.
If you aren't in my Happy Horses, Happy Riders FB Group, I would love to have you join us! Click Here.
I was putting on my socks one day, and realized, I just didn't feel as good as I did as a kid. It was shocking and hit me like a ton of bricks. I wasn't as flexible, I wasn't as balanced, and I didn't have that amazing go anywhere, do anything energy I had when I was young. That energy that kept my parents hopping along after me.
When this realization came over me, I decided to change things and become that kid again, with how I felt. Here are the first four things I did on my journey to feeling great!
- The Red Drink. This is what gave me the energy to get the ball rolling toward feeling better. When you don't have energy, you have to do something to get energy. This consists of Ningxia Red, a delicious infusion of superfruits and essential oils; Sulfurzyme, great for joint support, immune support, circulation, bone, hair and skin; Lime Essential Oil, adds a zing and contains antioxidants; all mixed into 8 ounces of water. I love this drink and it gave me the energy to start my journey to health.
- Fix What You eat. You are what you eat became very apparent when I started this journey. I was suffering from inflammation and stiff joints, I was putting on some pounds, I just didn't feel well, and I didn't have much energy. I had to align my food with my body. I chose to cut out processed sugar and flour. I chose to learn how to eat for me, for my body, so that I would feel better.
- Move. I started moving to get flexibility and balance back. I don't think it is fair to have our horses try and carry us when we are not at our best. I started dancing through the pastures going out to feed. I started doing "Yoga in Jeans with Sam" which is really movement to help our bodies for riding. I skip, dance and wiggle walk just about everywhere I go. I swing my arms around and do swimmers circles as I walk. I move. The more I move, the better I feel.
I would love to have you join me on this journey to becoming the healthy rider your horse wants you to be. The ingredients for step one (with a few thrown in for the horse) can be found here, Healthy Rider. Join me on this journey to feeling like a kid again.
WHOA. I was having a conversation the other day about transitions and it was like I was hit by a ton of bricks. Have you ever had that thought to "trot" and your horse goes off at a trot before you give any cues? Or any other transition for that matter.
This happens for me a lot and lately, I have been more in tune to my thoughts and the horses reactions. This was not always the case. For years, I would think trot, my horse would trot and I would get after them because I had not "asked" with a normal cue and labeled it as anticipation. What if, our horses are really good at feeling our thoughts or reading our thoughts?
Can you imagine the confusion our horses have to go through when we think trot, and then expect them to wait for us to squeeze or give a cue?
Do you know how many times I have seen or heard trainers upset at horses anticipating a cue?
This is all on us. The riders, the partners for our horses to do better. Our thoughts matter to our horses until they stop listening.
I played with this on Michelle yesterday with backing up. I have had a slight challenge with her backing the last couple of days and she was so good at it. I believe it is because I was thinking back, she was backing but then I pulled and she thought backing wasn't the right answer. The combination of my thoughts to back, her backing, and then me adding the cue after that made her think that backing wasn't what I really wanted. So I would think back and wait, then slightly shift my weight back, and then pick up on the reins to back. It didn't take long and she was backing off my thoughts but I had to be exact and very clear both in my head, and with my cues to her and the timing of the thoughts and cues.
For me, this is huge. It is something I can play with and get better at. I need a LOT of work but I can play with it with all three Bay Girls and both during ground play, and riding. I got this!
What are your thoughts on this? Have you experienced that sense of anticipation? If you would like to reply, sign up for emails to connect with me - or just send an email, elisehittinger@gmail.com.
There is nothing worse then riding on a chilly or cold day, bundling up, and 5 minutes into the ride, having to unbundle for a hot flash. It is a great way to get your horse really good at having jackets put on and taken off but really not a fun way to ride. Well, maybe riding in 80 or 90 degrees and having a hot flash burst on the scene and not being able to unbundle might be worse. Hard to decide.
I had up to 20 hot flashes an hour and they made me nauseous, and very faint. I was miserable. Not only did I not want to ride, I didn't even want to take care of the horses or be with them. For me, the doctors were no help so I took matters into my own hands and figured it out, with a ton of research and trial and error. (If you want so see my big mistake and funny story, here is a link to that blog: Toxins in the Tack Room)
1. I started eliminating toxins. I found this great cleaner, Thieves, that not only was toxin free, it cleaned really well, was much less money than my other cleaners, and the best part, it smelled like Christmas. I use it for everything, including cleaning the horses! That started me on a search for where I had other toxins around me and I was shocked. Shampoo, Soap, Toothpaste, Moisturizer, and that was just morning. Then I looked in the kitchen and laundry room: not only were there toxins in my detergents and soaps, but also in the foods I was eating! I progressed on to other areas and finally the tack room. Can you believe we pay for toxins to put on our horses? Wound care and fly spray just for a start contain a ton of toxins and horses are way more sensitive to toxins than we are. What was I doing to my precious partners? Toxins are Endocrine disruptors which muck with hormones and boy did I and my three mares have a lot of hormone issues to overcome! In a very short time, we were all feeling better. Less pinned ears, less kicking, less hot flashes, we all seemed to be heading the right direction.
I had up to 20 hot flashes an hour and they made me nauseous, and very faint. I was miserable. Not only did I not want to ride, I didn't even want to take care of the horses or be with them. For me, the doctors were no help so I took matters into my own hands and figured it out, with a ton of research and trial and error. (If you want so see my big mistake and funny story, here is a link to that blog: Toxins in the Tack Room)
1. I started eliminating toxins. I found this great cleaner, Thieves, that not only was toxin free, it cleaned really well, was much less money than my other cleaners, and the best part, it smelled like Christmas. I use it for everything, including cleaning the horses! That started me on a search for where I had other toxins around me and I was shocked. Shampoo, Soap, Toothpaste, Moisturizer, and that was just morning. Then I looked in the kitchen and laundry room: not only were there toxins in my detergents and soaps, but also in the foods I was eating! I progressed on to other areas and finally the tack room. Can you believe we pay for toxins to put on our horses? Wound care and fly spray just for a start contain a ton of toxins and horses are way more sensitive to toxins than we are. What was I doing to my precious partners? Toxins are Endocrine disruptors which muck with hormones and boy did I and my three mares have a lot of hormone issues to overcome! In a very short time, we were all feeling better. Less pinned ears, less kicking, less hot flashes, we all seemed to be heading the right direction.
2. I added a couple of products that were simple to my diet, and to my bedtime routine. These support my thyroid (Endoflex), support my hormones (Progessence Plus), and support my health (Ningxia Red and Sulfurzyme). It was easy to implement and really helped. No more night sweats for a start. I felt like I was coming back into myself, the hot flashes were dissolving away and now I rarely have one.
3. I eliminated processed sugar. This one was by far the hardest but the most rewarding! I have a love of chocolate treats and when I found out that sugar is a huge trigger for hot flashes, I was crushed. But I was done with hot flashes. So, I eliminated processed sugars. To my amazement, it was easier than I thought and I LOVE my new dessert. Unsweetened 100% Cacoa, Raw Unfiltered Honey, and then I get to pick my favorite flavor, Peppermint, or one of the citruses, or something else! It takes diligence and I have learned a ton. I was shocked to find that just about all condiments have sugar in addition to just about every other thing we had in our pantry. I now use Tapitio Sauce for all condiments or once in a while yellow mustard. For salad dressings, I just use the hot sauce and call it a taco salad or I use some spices and more of those yummy essential oils which have so much flavor.
It has been a journey for myself and my horses and I am happy to say, I now have one or two hot flashes a day, usually about 20 minutes after going to bed and I think it is trigger by the Progessence plus I put behind my knees right before bed but it helps keep them away for the whole next day so it is worth it.
If you are interested in finding out the nitty gritty details, I would love to have a chat with you, every person is different, and every hot flash is unique. Just know, there is hope, there are things you can do, and you can take control of your hot flashes. If you would like to chat about your hot flashes and/or rider health, click here and put it on my calendar! (It is called bundle conversation because I use one calendar and also talk about how CBD helped me and set up bundles for people and horses). Schedule a chat!
I have received a couple of questions on buddy sour. I have a couple of things that have worked really good for buddy sour.
1. Feeding with the flag - from Carson James. This one took me a few months but I was dealing with a VERY aggressive mare that had bit me in the back, kicked another horse over on me, twice, so this was first and foremost in changing her attitude. I took the buckets of feed in to the pasture, gave my quiet mare, Taika, her food and set the aggressive mare, Binky's, food about 5 feet away. Mostly because I had a hard enough time getting Taika to eat so I didn't want to disturb her. I made Binky stand 50 feet off until she lowered her head and walked in respectfully. If she even twitched an ear, she went back to 50 feet with me looking like a mountain lion, mostly for my safety, I could not be wishy washy. I had to get my timing right and it took a few months but they now all go to their buckets and stand there waiting patiently. If an ear flicks back, they MOVE off their feed, every single time. What I didn't expect was how much it helped the buddy sour! It was huge.
2. I put them in the small arena together and I just sit in the middle and hang out. If they stay on opposite sides of the arena, not exactly but in general, I leave them alone. They can come up to me but not in my bubble, about 3 to 5 feet away from me. If they get onto the same side of the arena, I make them work, or at least I make the horse that approached the other one work. I do this until I see them start to move toward each other and then turn away all on their own. Then I know they got the lesson. I only did this twice and never even needed to do it when I added the third horse. I can take anyone out at any time and there is no issue.
3. I take the one out that is the worst, and start walking away, if they want to go back to their buddy, we go back and I make them move their haunches politely and softly but make them move, then move the shoulders, and just work on supple for 5 minutes or so and then I walk off like nothing different and if they want to go back, we repeat. The combination of these has been amazing for my three mares! Keep me posted. There are a few other things too but these are my favorites.
Overcoming my fear had to start with safety in all situations and learning these above things, really helped me with my safety, with their safety, and it built my courage, very fast. I could see how leadership and partnership really wasn't as hard and scary as I thought. Timing took a bit but the more my timing on things around them on the ground improved, so did my timing on riding.
If you would like more information on overcoming fear, or buddy sour, you are welcome to join my small FB support/cheerleading group! Click Here.
