I was so frustrated with trainers that told me to "Just RIDE", or "Show that horse who is BOSS", when it was me that was terrified. My horse was fine, it wasn't their fault. I remember crying and feeling so alone in my fear. They just didn't get it.
Like many of you, we are surrounded by people that are trying to help us through our fear or anxiety, but because they don't understand, their techniques make things worse.
We can do some simple things that will help us even if the people around us don't understand.
1. Put a plan in place "if" that thing you are afraid of happens. I was terrified of the horse rearing and flipping. I decided that if the horse raised its head, my trigger, I would get an ear to focus on me. Then ask the horse to move their feet. Then stop. Next flex left and flex right. Then move their feet again. I rehearsed this visually, and then in the arena before ever going for a trail ride. It gave me so much confidence! I encourage you to figure out your fear trigger and put a plan in place to work through them. Include dismounting as part of the plan if you feel unsafe.
2. Get the tools you need! This sounds really crazy, but tools can serve you well and may not be what you are thinking. I have an essential oil I use to keep me calm, I put it on my right wrist, and I have one for courage when I need to act and that I put on my left wrist. I feel like superwoman with these two working together. The calm eye of the storm and the force of the storm and I can weave my way between the two. Another tool I use is CBD, it stops the shakes but keeps my mind clear. Another tool is a handle around the neck I can grab if needed. These are all tools and each one adds a bit to my courage.
3. Security items is the third thing that brings me bravery. Helmet, life jacket (I tried the horse vests but they didn't work for me so I use my Seadoo jacket). Whatever equipment helps you feel secure are worth every penny that they cost. They help keep you safe.
In the latest episode of the Turn Riding Fear Around Podcast, I delve into the essential strategies and tools for overcoming riding fear and reclaiming the joy of the saddle. You can enjoy hearing my thoughts on the above by just clicking on the link at the bottom of my Podcast webpage or any podcast platform that you enjoy. Click here!
Finding myself making excuses to avoid riding, I confronted a formidable adversary: fear. Deep down, I grappled with conflicting emotions – a burning passion for riding clashed with the daunting fear of getting hurt.
Like many of you, I found myself in the relentless tug-of-war with fear. Whether it was the apprehension of mounting a horse, facing a daunting challenge, or battling with general anxiety, the internal struggle threatened to overpower me. Yet, in the midst of this turmoil, I made a conscious decision – to let my passion triumph over fear, and I urge you to do the same.
For me, the journey towards conquering fear began when we moved to Kentucky and have 75 beautiful acres to ride. Jazz Napravnik, at Mindset Matters, helped me see the power in breathing techniques. Embracing various breathing techniques became my anchor amidst the storm of fear. It became the eye of the storm and I place I can always return. In the inaugural episode of my Turn Riding Fear Around Podcast, I delve into my two cherished breathing methods, accessible on popular podcasting platforms or directly on my website.
Why do these techniques work wonders? Firstly, they counteract our natural tendency to hold our breath when fear grips us, ushering in a wave of relaxation. Secondly, they provide a focal point for the mind, be it through counting or visualization, diverting attention away from fear's paralyzing grip.
Yet, preparation extends beyond mastering breathing techniques. It encompasses a deliberate shift in mindset. As we head out to spend time with the horses, we can all adhere to a golden rule: leave the chatter of the mind at home. Amidst the chaos of daily life, it's easy to be consumed by thoughts of tasks and to-do lists. However, when we step into the presence of our equine companions, we can choose to bring only heart and undivided attention. Leaving our baggage behind; it will patiently await our return.
In essence, the path to overcoming fear begins with a choice – a choice to confront it head-on, armed with the tools of breath and presence. So, take a deep breath, harness your courage, and let your passion guide you towards fearlessness in the saddle and beyond.
You can check out my new podcast where you listen or on any of my platforms:
on my website "HERE",
My horses have been plagued with issues and we have had MUD, lots of mud. That means time off for The Bay Girls. Sigh. I have used the time to play with umbrellas, work on low stress movement and relaxation for them, but it is just to slippery to ride. Although they do still race the pasture with my cringing the whole time. Have you had a break from riding and want some help getting back. I am planning on riding again this spring so I put together my plan to get there.
Here are the last 3 key steps in my plan:
4. Listen to your horse. Really get in touch with your horse and have conversations with them. Are they nervous, help them. Are they feeling really good, up the ground play and make it a little more challenging. Really get in tune with their body language and how you can affect them with your feelings. If you come to them with all the stress of your day, how do they react? If you are peaceful, are they different. This will help when you start riding to really be in tune and used to listening to them.
5. Be consistent. Not only with the time you are building them up to get them ready to ride, but also with your cues for everything. You are always training your horse, either to do what you want or to do what you don't want. This was a hard one for me. I was moving out of my horses space, slightly. And it didn't take long before she actually walked into me. I realized that I was moving away when I needed to be leader and hold my position energitally. My horses are so much happier when I am consistent in my movements, my emotions, the way I act around them, and my cues.
6. Get proffessional help if you have any doubts. Don't be afraid to ask for help. There is so much available to us now with the internet, that even out in the middle of nowhere, we can get help. I follow several training programs from hoof trimming to ground play and riding. It really helps.
I am happy with my plan and have started working through it. I have a support community that is doing Spring Bingo, getting ready for riding this spring together and we are having so much fun. If this sounds like something you might like, would love to have you join us! Spring Bingo here!
My horses have been plagued with issues and we have had MUD, lots of mud. That means time off for The Bay Girls. Sigh. I have used the time to play with umbrellas, work on low stress movement and relaxation for them, but it is just to slippery to ride. Although they do still race the pasture with my cringing the whole time. Have you had a break from riding and want some help getting back. I am planning on riding again this spring so I put together my plan to get there.
Here are the first 3 key steps in my plan:
1. Healthy horse. I trim my own horses feet so that is the first priority. It is hard to trim when they are slipping and sliding in the mud so they feet have been a little long. It hasn't been too bad since they grow a lot less hoof in winter. I also know that they need to build up some muscle to get ready for riding and I have been doing a lot of in hand play and planning on doing a lot more. This also helps as I adjust their feet to get their muscles and flexibility adjusted as well.
2. Hiking and/or walking with the horses. I have great hills for taking them for walks. This also helps ME get in shape for riding again, imagine that..... While hiking, I love to do some backing up hills. The key here is making sure they stay straight and start out really slow, I mean like a snail slow. This is hard for them but great for building up their muscles. Make sure you are walking up the hill backward with them and you will see what I mean. Also go over any and all fallen logs, branches, etc that is safe to go over. (Watch for SNAKES!)
3. Do lots of grooming and really use that time to massage them, find any spots that need some more in depth focus. I also love to take this time and remind them of moving off where my leg goes. I make sure they are relaxed in their flank and not tense. Grooming is a great time to observe their attitude and make adjustments to keep them happy.
While you wait for the next three steps tomorrow, join my support community that is doing Spring Bingo, getting ready for riding this spring together and we are having so much fun. If this sounds like something you might like, would love to have you join us! Spring Bingo here!
When I was young, I couldn't wait to be older! I loved riding as a kid and would go anywhere and do anything. As an adult, I have enjoyed so many hours of riding. Jumping and competing are by far my favorite but there is a lot of stress built in to that. I recently heard a quote from an eventing superstar (sorry, I don't remember which one, and I am paraphrasing), being asked about when do you get to the level the nerves stop. His answer was - they don't ever stop. You say thank you for keeping me safe, get on and go enjoy your ride, knowing that the nerves mean well but they don't bring you the joy, the riding does.
I also know that the feelings of excitement, when you get to do something really fun, feel almost identical to the butterflies of nerves. When I learned this, it was life changing. Why not shift the meaning I put behind the butterflies to excitement instead of nerves? It is my choice, right?
We have so many opportunities to enjoy life and we have to grab onto those opportunities and embrace them. Riders have the added benefit that riding fills us up with not only great feelings, but we can go into these amazing golden years filling up with empowerment! We are so much wiser than we were as kids and I know I must have almost killed my horses at least a hundred times and I know better now.
One of the keys to riding with confidence after 50 is embracing the wisdom that comes with our age! Over the years, we accumulate a wealth of knowledge and experience that improves our riding and enhances our understanding of horses. By drawing on this wisdom, we can approach riding with a greater sense of confidence and self-assurance, knowing that we have the skills and expertise to handle whatever challenges may arise. We have more finese and knowledge to do things better for our horses. As a community, riders have taken leaps and bounds in knowledge of our horses and their welfare just in the last 10 years. We have evolved!
The second key is that riding keeps us physically healthy. It helps our flexibility, strength, and balance if we focus on it while we ride. That is beautiful to age with grace and I know I feel younger and younger as I get to ride more.
The third key is that we have a huge horse friend community, whether in person or online. We have a support system that is world wide. We can even take lessons from trainers around the world if we want.
I would love to have you join our small support group! It is for everyone. We are either getting over fear or cheering on the rest of us and would love to have you! Join group here!
