Learning how to swim was challenging for me. I remember it like it was yesterday, the struggle to stay above water even though I was just swimming a little bit further and further each time I tried. My sister learned really fast, they threw her in the deep end and held a pole out for her to reach for. Bam, one session and she was swimming. There is a whole spectrum in between. I think overcoming fear and anxiety falls onto this scale and from what I have seen, trainers are on the deep end side of things, just do it, and most of us with fear, prefer to work though it, a little bit at a time. Like "What About Bob" if you saw that great movie for overcoming fear.
The big question is how do we do this? Here are a few steps that worked for me.
1. Set a goal that feels doable. When I started overcoming my fear, my goal was to get on and take four steps. I was elated when I jumped off after 4 steps!
At some point, you have to get on. Pick a day that the horse is ready and you are ready. Don't use this as an excuse but also don't do it on a day there is lightning or winds.
2. Figure out what the best day will be and do it. Get on and accomplish your goal and then celebrate.
3. Get help if you want. Alicia Dickinson is a Grand Prix Dressage rider and when she takes a new horse out on the first hack, she has someone lead it. She makes safety a priority. Don't feel bad if you need a little help. I would make sure the horse is great for mounting and standing still, don't have someone holding the horse dancing around to mount. That is a recipe for more fear. Having someone put a lead rope on and just walk with you will boost your confidence. I give you permission.
4. Use safety equipment if it makes you feel better. I ride with a helmet, my Sea Doo life jacket, and a neck strap to grab onto.
Figure out your baby steps, plan them, and then most importantly, DO THEM!
If you want to hear me talking about "Deep End vs. Tiny Steps", it is on my latest podcast you can find here:
After my accident, I found that if the horse I was riding lifted its head a little bit, I got off. The trigger for my fear was the start of a rear. Like many of you that have some anxiety or fear, there is a trigger that starts our mind down the process of creating the fear. Whether it be the horse speeding up a bit, or dropping its head like it might buck, or like me, lifting its head like it might rear, there is something that starts that spiral into fear.
Here are my favorite three things to stop the spiral and regain confidence:
1. Distract the mind. I love playing games with my horse (and others if I am riding with company). When we were little, my parents played games with us while driving and they have carried over into my riding. "I'm taking a trip and in my bag I pack......" is one of my favorites. I do something for me and then something for the horse and then me and then the horse. Another one is playing "I Spy" to focus on where I am heading with my horse. Create your own games to play!
2. Police Focus. I learned this watching Binky at a police clinic. They had the rider focus 100 feet ahead of them as they rode past all kinds of crazy things. It was amazing how it worked. Nervous horses and nervous riders we no match for crystal clear focus out in front of them. I now know why my trainer was always yelling at us to LOOK UP, but they never explained why.
3. Say as many nursery rhymes as you can remember. This is a fun one too. I started off, "Chilly Willy was a bear....." and then realized that didn't work and cracked up. I had to look up "Fuzzy Wuzzy" when I got home. I was amazed at how many I could remember and also how many I could not remember.
If you want to hear me talking about "Chicken Posting", another great way to distract the mind, it is on my latest podcast you can find here:
The point of all of these is to keep the mind distracted from spiraling into the negative thoughts that lead to fear and anxiety. It works for all kinds of things, not just riding.
There I was, walking along chatting with a friend in the ring, not a care in the world. There was a trail below the arena and someone riding by, pulled a switch off a bush and as the bush snapped back, it flung something right into my horses face. My horse spun so fast I was sitting on the ground exactly where my horse had been.
I know without a doubt this could have been prevented! I was not paying attention to my horse, and my horse was not tuned in to me.
Here are three things that could have helped to keep me from hitting the ground:
1. Random pattern riding - this is really fun to do on your own or when you are riding and talking to someone. Ride a flower pattern, see if you can move right and left a little bit bigger and bigger so you end up with a cone shape. Make squares. Have fun with it.
2. Subtle Engagement Cues - I love seeing if I can use small cues or even just my thoughts and have my horse engage. Think about moving your pinky on one of the reins and having the horse move the ear on that side. What if you point your toe out a little bit and the horse moves his front leg in that direction. It keeps you both engaged.
3. Sensory Engagement Technique - This one is really interesting. See how many senses you can have the horse respond too. Some of this you might want to do on the ground first. I love getting dog toys with the squeaky thing in them that are like massagers. Massage the horse which engages touch and also the squeaky engages hearing. Play with soft towels or course sponges. Take them in your pockets while you ride and engage your horse rubbing their neck, withers, shoulders or butt.
The real key to staying safe is to make sure you and your horse are are connected at all times, even when you are chatting with someone, keep the horse involved.
For further information, in Episode 24 of Turn Riding Fear Around podcast, I talk about techniques for staying focused in the saddle! You can listen on most podcast platforms or click here!
I realized I had not been riding since October and it was July. I wanted to ride for my 60th birthday so I did! I have done enough work on my courage and soaked up enough courage pennies that I felt great about it. Michelle, my OTTB mare, seemed up for the first ride back in a while.
I know many of you have taken time off, whether to heal, financial, or just life, and would like some tips for getting back riding again.
Here are my 5 steps that I used for this ride:
• Begin with short, gentle rides - I didn't ride long or hard. I just got on and really felt myself in the saddle, felt Michelle under me, walked and did some turns and played with some poles on the ground. Nothing earth shattering from an outside perspective, but boy did it fill up my soul!
• Focus on your breathing - Before getting on, make sure your breathing is relaxed. This time, I used Ferris Wheel breathing mode which is my favorite! I have talked about that on one of my podcasts if you want to find out more. (Episode 1 has the Ferris Wheel Breathing)
• Practice mindfulness - mindfulness is so much fun to play with. This is really simple. It just means, pay attention to you, your horse, your tack, as you are getting ready to ride. Did your tack have any cracks? Was your pad clean? Did you horse have any sore parts as you groomed? Did the hooves look good? If you are really paying attention, you are not in your head with monkey brain, you are not going to miss a sign that you or your isn't ready to ride today.
• Set small, achievable goals - make it so you will feel accomplished. This is different for everyone. My first rides back are usually 4 steps. This last one, I did a few times at 50 feet. Some people may really laugh at that but for me, it was like climbing to base camp of Mt. Everest. Don't go the top, Set your goal for base camp. Whatever that is for you.
• Listen to your body - It was so hot the day I rode. I hosed her off before so she would be cool. I used my Frogg Toggs (if you don't know what one is, check it out here if you have heat, it works wonders!)
Enjoy your riding!!!!
I was going through finances and realized I had spent lots of MONEY for a horse to stand there and wait for me to show up. I had thrown that money away instead of using it for my passion and joy of riding.
Like many of you, as riders with a burning passion for riding, we've made the courageous decision to reclaim our confidence in the saddle. Despite the fears and excuses that have held us back, our heart knows that we were born to ride. Now, it's time to create a mental prep process that will help us overcome our anxieties and rediscover the freedom for riding our horses!
Here are 5 tips:
Acknowledge The Fear
The first step is to acknowledge the fears and thank them. They are trying to keep us safe. Write them down, speak them aloud, or share them with a trusted friend. By giving voice to your concerns, you're taking away some of their power over you. We are not going to stay focused here. We are going to leave them behind and plan our future!
Visualize Success
Spend time each day visualizing yourself confidently mounting your horse, riding with ease, and enjoying every moment in the saddle. This positive imagery can help rewire your brain and boost your confidence.
Develop a Pre-Ride Ritual
Create a calming pre-ride ritual that helps center your mind and prepare your body. This could include deep breathing exercises, gentle stretches, or a quiet moment of reflection with your horse. Check out my pre-ride checklists if you would like some ideas!
Start Small
Begin with short, manageable riding sessions. Set achievable goals for each ride, gradually increasing the duration and complexity as your confidence grows. Celebrate every small victory along the way.
Focus on the Joy
Remind yourself why you love riding. Keep a journal (or at least mental notes if you are like me and don't journal), of your positive experiences and refer to them when doubts creep in. Let the joy of your passion outweigh your fears.
By creating and following your own mental prep process, you're taking a significant step towards reclaiming your confidence in the saddle. Remember, you were born to ride – and with patience, self-compassion, and determination, you'll rediscover the freedom and joy that horseback riding brings to your life.
You can hear my thoughts on my podcast, Turn Riding Fear Around, Episode 19: Mental
Ride Prep Tips.
