Sitting on the hillside, with the sun on my back, and just the amazing feeling all the way to the center of the earth was how I used to spend my lunch times. It was an overlook for a whole stand of eucalyptus trees that seemed to go on forever. The leaves would shimmer and the trees would sway. As I watched, I could see the energy of the wind, blow from one side of the field to the other side of the field and swirl around in between. I was mesmerized by being able to watch the energy of the wind.
Laying down in the lush moss, beside a creek with the sun and shadows all around. I could see the water swirling around rocks and moving faster in the skinnier areas and slow and steady in the wider areas of the creek. I could see the energy of the water.
Sitting there this morning, watching the horses in the pasture, moving around, and being horses. Binky laid down and had a great roll. While she was laying down, Michelle joined her, really getting into the dirt and dust and putting all her effort into the roll. Taika was pickier, looking for a place to lay down and circling the spots that looked good. Before Taika could lay down, and while Binky was sitting on her way up from her roll, Michelle jumped up and ran, bucking! That intense energy I could feel and both Binky and Taika joined in. They circled the pasture a few times, bucking and playing. Swinging their heads and exuding pure joy. I realized I was feeling and watching the energy of beings. I had the privilege, even though there was a distance between us, of feeling their energy and being part of it.
I have thought about energy and how it pushes and/or pulls things to us or away from us. These visuals of energy are real. They can be felt and seen. I hate sleeping with a fan on, that steady dribble of fake wind. I love sleeping with the windows open and feeling the touch of the breeze on my cheeks. I have played with magnets, repelling each other or attracting each other. I have played with a horse and our hearts, liberty lunging with no physical connection.
Play with your energy. Observe the energy all around you. Anxiety and joy are energies that can't exist in the same place, practice the energy of joy.
If you have enjoyed this, check out my free PDF - Five Energy Games to play with your horse!
There were 60 of us, sitting in folding chairs in an arena, with horses and ponies running all over the place. The first couple of people to do an exercise looked like it was very challenging. There was one pretty gray arab mare that was frazzled. She looked like she had ADHD and was just freaked out.
My turn came to do an exercise in front of the crowd. I picked the frazzled gray mare as my partner, I thought we both needed each other. The first assignment was to have the horse stand still, and for me to walk around the horse. That horse was all over the place, and it was hard to even get two steps around her before she was off doing something else. This was all at liberty of course.
The second exercise was to stand still and have the horse walk around us. My gut reaction, "I CAN'T DO THIS!" As soon as I had the thought, a feeling came over me, I can do this. It was an overwhelming whisper, deep inside. I went to the center of the arena and closed my eyes. I pictured her going around me and I felt my heart connected to her heart. I would glance up every once in a while, and there she was, calm, quiet, peaceful, walking around me. I thought let's see what we can do. I pictured her coming in closer and she did. I pictured her going out further and she did. I pictured her changing directions, and she did. I pictured her trotting quietly with her head low and she did.
Our exercise was supposed to be 10 minutes, but for 30 minutes, we were there, in the center, connected heart to heart. The audience was silent. In their own thoughts of wonder. The owner of the horse and the practitioners were in shock.
I finally just stopped, and she came to me and pressed her head into my chest, and we just breathed together. In that moment, I knew for the rest of my life, when I had doubt, I would think of the pretty gray mare and know, "I CAN".
This was the most powerful moment I have ever had in my life. It was a precious gift from God.
That quickness of breath, the sweaty palms, the tension rising in the body happens to me when I think about my accident. The interesting thing is watching my horses and realizing that they also feel the memories of accidents. I can see their neck arch, their breathing increases, maybe even to the point of snorting, and their whole-body fills with tension.
I am so good at working with my horses, to help them overcome their memories of accidents. But I wasn't as good at doing the same thing for me and I really started to look at the differences. With my horses, I would teach them to relax. I have a few favorite tools that I use to get them "up" and then I show them how to relax. I have to change their memory of what happened by showing them a different way to be, showing them, they are in control of their emotion.
Wow, showing them control. That is also the key for us, or at least it was for me. I looked back at the accident, and I dissected it. What led up to it? How did it happen? Were there signs I could have seen before it happened? Even if I didn't know the answers, I could put the things in place to at least going forward, control the pre-accident situation.
It was so powerful to put the pieces into place to know that I had prepared myself to prevent future accidents. Can they still happen, yes, but that feeling of control helped in the recovery from the accident mentally. It built my confidence and courage and allowed me to continue enjoying riding. I really thought about a car accident I had; did it stop me from driving? Why let the horse accident stop me from riding?
The pieces I put in place are my pre-ride checklists. One for the rider, is my mind right. And one for the horse, are they ready to be ridden. I feel like a pilot checking out an airplane before a flight. It is methodical. It is predefined. They follow it exactly, every time they fly. It prevents accidents to the best of the ability. We can do the same for riding our horses and bring a piece of mind, even after an accident.
If you enjoyed this, you might enjoy my free guide: 3 Ways to Stop Panic
This applies to so many things in life! What if I lose my job, my money, my health, etc.? There are so many things in life that can pull us into the "What if" bucket. Horses and people that have had an accident with a horse, seem to send the what if imagination into overdrive. How do we turn that around?
Here are my thoughts.
1. It takes observation! When we notice we have a negative what if thought, about anything, switch it to something positive. Example: What if I fall off my horse? STOP! Change it to What if I have an amazing, relaxing ride! What if's haven't happened yet, so why not pick things that make us feel good instead of picking stuff that makes us feel bad?
2. We can practice. Sit on your couch, or better yet, lay down in the yard watching the clouds go by, doesn't matter but get comfortable. Bring up your BIG what if. Think about it. Notice how you emotionally feel. Notice how you physically feel. Then create an amazing what if. Put a lot of detail into it. Put all your senses into it. Example: What if we have a lovely ride. We are in sync, and I can feel the rhythm of my horse's feet. We feel like we are dancing together, as one. We soak up the sunshine and can feel the light breeze on our cheeks. After you do this, really feel the difference. Physically and emotionally.
3. Look at the root of your what if's. Was it a memory, is it imagination? What is the base to your what if. Once you have that, make a choice to change it. For me, my root was an accident. I focused on changing the memory of my accident, into a vivid cartoon. Now, when I think what if my horse flips, I laugh. I see Wile-E-Coyote and the Road Runner.
Most importantly, live your life with joy. If you enjoy riding, or used to, find a way to get back into the saddle and enjoy!
If you would like to see the process I went through, here is a link to my book about my journey back to courage and getting over my "What if's"! Get the book now!
It was a warm day, riding along, enjoying our horses, when all of a sudden, a hot air balloon comes up over the horizon. It is about 50 feet from us and is loud. I had no idea how loud a balloon can be when they are heating the air. I jumped at the sight of the balloon! My horse and I panicked and ran the other direction. This was a case where my fear definitely contributed to the horse's fear! It took both of us a while to calm our heart rate and for me to stop shaking.
Let's look at this from hindsight and what I know now.
After attending a police clinic training, I don't think I would have panicked. My horse still might have, but I don't think I would have. The first thing they talked about, was focusing on where you are going, about a hundred feet ahead of you and ride to that spot. At about the 50 foot mark, adjust your focus out to 100 feet again and repeat. I think by focusing on where you are heading, your horse has confidence in you as a leader that you know where you are going. I have started playing "I spy" with my horses and it is really fun and helps me focus.
I believe that if I had been focusing that day, and not just dilly dallying around, we would not have spooked. So, if my fear contributes to a horses fear, I am going to also say, that my confidence builds confidence in the horse and the horse's confidence in me as leader. For horses, the leader is who keeps them from dying, keeps them safe. It is that way for us too, but we may not recognize it.
Does Rider Confidence help Horse Confidence? I would say yes, it really does help.
If you have enjoyed this and would like a few tips on how I built my confidence, check out my 3 Ways to Build Courage with Your Horse!
