Panic surged through me as the horse reared, fell backward, and came crashing down. Time slowed. I had no control over what was about to happen. There was nothing I could do to stop it.
This memory played on an automatic loop inside my head—again and again, like a nightmare I couldn’t wake up from. Worse than that, I told the story to anyone who would listen. Each time, it grew bigger, more intense, and more real in my mind. I knew that what we focus on expands, but I had no idea how to stop feeding the fear.
The truth is, we all have these mental replays—stories running on a loop, sometimes without us even realizing it. They shape our emotions, our confidence, and our ability to move forward.
But here’s the shocking truth: we have the power to change the story. This realization sent me on a mission to rewire my memory of the accident.
Here’s how you can do the same:
Think about your favorite cartoon. If you don’t have one, stop right now and go watch a few Looney Tunes episodes on YouTube until you find one that makes you laugh. (Trust me, it’s worth it.) I personally love Wile E. Coyote and the Road Runner for this exercise.
Once you have a cartoon in mind, start transforming your scary memory into a ridiculous animated scene. For me, I pictured myself as the Road Runner and my horse as Wile E. Coyote.
To make it even funnier, I put ballet slippers on the horse and wrapped a bright pink tutu around his belly. I gave myself the cute little Road Runner feathers and imagined my legs whirring like a blur. The coyote (a.k.a. my horse) used an ACME contraption to try and take me out—but just like in the cartoons, the giant weight flipped on him and squished him instead!
And me? I popped right back up, let out a little "Meep Meep!" and dashed off, leaving a trail of dust behind me.
I kept adding more details—more color, more absurdity—until eventually, whenever I started to think about that accident, I couldn’t stop laughing.
The funnier, the better.
As you build your cartoon, that is what you share when you talk about it to others. Now we want to expand the replay and have it become the new replay track. We rewire to the cartoon.
Do you need a little more help creating your cartoon? Let’s explore this together and I will see if I can help you out. Book your free chat now and take the first step toward finding your new replay. I have helped clients with both courage coaching and hypnotherapy to overcome their anxiety and enjoy life again.
Overcoming fear over the past twenty years has taught me so much. Looking back, every moment of hesitation was worth the courage it took to push through. The journey was worth the sixty seconds of terror from the horse flipping over on top of me. What I realized is that the process I used is very similar to the process for accomplishing almost anything new or challenging. We all have things we would like different in our lives but just don't know who to begin and what to do. AT a high level, we figure out what steps need to be taken, we plan how to accomplish those steps, and then we implement those steps.
I believe we can all overcome our anxiety and fear if we make that our decision.
Here is a simple process that I used:
evaluate your health (You can do the same for your horses as well):
Set aside some time and sit down with a paper, journal, or some way to take notes. Scan your body and write down what is healthy, what is declining, what is improving, and what needs to be improved. Once you have that list from your scan, prioritize the list for action and commit to yourself to start feeling better now. Don't forget your mindset as well!
Gain knowledge:
Take some time and figure out what knowledge you have and what knowledge you need to accomplish your goal. I was all cocky when I did this part and thought I knew it all but did I? When I really sat down and did this, there were so many things I didn't know, even simple things like how to teach a horse to stand quiet and relaxed at the mounting block for me to get on. Seems simple but I had never trained a horse to do that. It was eye-opening to see how many things I didn't know I needed to know. I had a long list of knowledge that I needed to gain. I would love to hear how it goes with your list. What were your top 2 or 3 priorities on gaining knowledge for you.
Experience it:
Once you have gained the knowledge to at least take the first few steps, do the steps. Don't wait until you have gained all the knowledge and gotten healthy, start now and take small steps toward your destination. Those small steps will give you momentum and courage to continue on with your journey to confidence and courage. You have to do, not just think about doing. DO!
ADJUST:
As you start doing, you will find that you need to make adjustments. These can come in many forms. Adjust your health a little more. Learn a skill you hadn't thought of. It can be just about anything to help you stay on your journey and keep moving towards feeling that confident courageous self you know is inside of you.
Your process has already been created for you! Rise from Fear to Courage: Saddle Up and Enjoy Riding Again shares my journey of overcoming fear and reclaiming the joy of riding. If you're ready to ride with confidence, this book will show you the way. Grab your copy today and take the first step toward fearless riding!
Reflecting on your rides—both the fearful ones and the amazing ones—can help you build confidence and overcome riding anxiety. Fearful rides teach valuable lessons about triggers and responses, while positive rides reinforce courage and connection with your horse. By shifting your perspective, you can turn fear into growth and ride with confidence.
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Struggling with anxiety and fear can lead to embarrassment, but you can overcome it. Discover three powerful tips to transform your anxiety into confidence: don't worry about others' opinions, use embarrassment as fuel for growth, and be grateful for the experience.
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It was a simple Christmas party that I had a few people coming over for. It was not my choice. I would have avoided it if it had not been my husband's kids. I started to think, why would I have avoided a simple dinner party with just a few people. I realized, I was afraid of being afraid. I was afraid of things going wrong, but more than that, I was afraid to relax and enjoy the evening. I had developed a fear of fear, and it led me to almost becoming a recluse.
Fear is a natural response, meant to protect us from harm. But what happens when fear itself becomes the thing we fear most? Many people get stuck in a cycle where they aren’t just afraid of a situation—they’re afraid of feeling afraid.
This builds a fear of becoming afraid and shuts us down before we even try.
Fear triggers a physiological response—racing heart, shallow breathing, tense muscles. When we experience this repeatedly, our minds begin associating fear itself with danger. We start avoiding anything that could bring up that dreaded feeling, even if the situation itself isn’t truly harmful.
For example, if you've had a bad fall while horseback riding, you may not only fear riding again—you might start fearing the nervousness that comes with getting back in the saddle. The fear of fear becomes bigger than the fear of falling itself.
Breaking Free from the Fear of Fear
1. Recognize the Pattern
The first step is awareness. Acknowledge that you’re not just afraid of an experience—you’re afraid of how fear feels. This realization alone can give you some power back.
2. Shift Your Perspective on Fear
Instead of seeing fear as a threat, reframe it as a signal. Fear is just your body’s way of preparing you for action. What if, instead of resisting it, you allowed yourself to feel it without judgment?
3. Expose Yourself Gradually
Confidence isn’t built by avoiding fear—it’s built by facing it in small, manageable steps. If riding again feels overwhelming, start by spending time around horses, then progress at your own pace.
4. Use Your Breath
Fear tightens the body, but deep, intentional breathing can release that tension. Try inhaling for four counts, holding for four, and exhaling for six. This helps signal safety to your nervous system. As you exhale, picture the fear and anxiety flowing out of you, out your breath, out your fingers and your toes. As you inhale, feel confidence filling you up.
5. Fill Up with Courage
Fear loses its grip when you actively focus on courage. Picture yourself succeeding. Remind yourself of past moments when you have overcome fear. The more you fill up with courage, the less room fear has to take over.
Confidence Comes from Action
You don’t need to wait for fear to disappear to take action. True confidence comes from moving forward with fear, proving to yourself that you can handle it. When you stop fearing fear, you free yourself to step into the courageous, confident person you’re meant to be.
I can help you explore breaking free from anxiety and stepping into calm. Book your free chat now and take the first step toward finding your calm. I have helped clients with both courage coaching and hypnotherapy to overcome their anxiety and enjoy life again. Schedule your free chat here!
