I was in the middle of a figure eight when I stopped, right there where the two circles join. The feelings of anxiety, work, chores, overwhelm all piled up on me at once. When I got on my horse, I had 10 things all lined up to work on. Backing, moving the shoulders right and left, moving the haunches right and left, etc. Just writing this, I can feel my stress rising and those feelings of overwhelm creeping in. Like many of you, we focus on all the "DOING" that we think needs to be completed to move on to the next steps.
As I stopped, right there in the middle of the figure eight, I felt the "PAUSE". I felt it through me, through my horse, all the tension drained away into the ground. We both took some deep breaths together and just leaned into each other, feeling our feelings. I know this sounds a little nuts, but it was very powerful. The power in this pause lasted for a few minutes. There was no rush to carry on with the figure eight. There was no rush to continue with all the things on my list. There was just the two of us, in that moment, enjoying being together.
How long has it been since you really took a pause? A pause in your daily life? A pause with your horse? A pause with your family?
I encourage you to take some time and set down the RUSH, set down the "TO DO LIST", set down all the electronics, and just lean into the PAUSE. Feel the power.
I challenge you the next time you ride your horse, build in the pauses to just enjoy each other, in those moments of pause. Feel how you are feeling. Feel how your horse is feeling and fill both of you up with a few moments of "BEING" together.
I talk a little more about this in my latest "Turn Riding Fear Around" Podcast, Episode
33: The Power of Standing Still for our MIND.
For most of us, safety while riding gives us piece of mind. Helmet and vest are so important for me, but there is so much more. Recently, I really sat down and took stock of my gear and equipment and how it fit (or didn't fit) into my courage.
As I looked through things, I came down to three categories.
The first one is gear that keeps me safe. This is my “A” list. Helmet and vest are the obvious two but are their others? I evaluated if a piece of gear can actually help to keep me from getting hurt. Here are a few I found that fit into this category:
A. Grab strap/saddle horn/ something to grab onto that is not the horse's mouth. In an emergency, this can give you a few more seconds to dismount safely if needed.
B. Rhythm bells, cattle bells, and things that just have an amazing sound while riding. They can help keep wildlife aware of your presence, so you and your horse are not startled.
The second one is gear that seems to keep us safe but maybe not actually safe.
A. GPS trackers and software that tracks us as we ride. These help after something happens but doesn't prevent something from happening. Same with some way to ride with your cell phone on you and not on your horse.
B. An emergency whistle. It may save your life after an incident but probably isn't going to save you from a fall.
The third group is gear that has no safety use at all. This is the FUN Group of stuff.
A. Color coordinated outfits for you and your horse.
B. Great grippy reins that you can hang onto easily.
Have fun with this!!! Go through your tack and riding gear and really think about what categories it falls into. Once you have the list, sit and focus on your “A” list and really think about how it makes you feel. Do you need to up your gear, new and improved or are you feeling really good with your safety gear.
I recently talked about this episode 31 of my podcast, Turn Riding Fear Around.
As I was gaining my courage back after my accident, there were many things I learned along the way from having setbacks. My fear was rearing. One beautiful warm day and I was riding Taika in the indoor arena, getting her ready for her first jumper show, she was trotting along in a gorgeous feeling trot and all of a sudden, she reared and came down bucking for about 5 seconds and then she trotted off like nothing happened. She was fine for the rest of the ride, but I was shaken.
This was a setback for me and helped me find some new ways of preventing more setbacks. Here are my favorite three tips to preventing setbacks:
1. Analyze the root cause. The easy answer would be the rear and bucks but that would not be the right answer. I rode that no problem. The root of the problem was that I had not healed my fear of rearing. When you have a setback, take the opportunity to analyze what happened and get to the root of your fear. That will lead you to a solution. For me, the final solution was hypnotherapy which finally disassociated my fear of rearing which allows me to ride and deal with anything that does happen without the fear.
2. Create Solutions. When you have the root cause, get support and figure out how to solve that so you no longer have to worry about that setback. What you will find is solving the root cause will often times solve a lot of the setbacks which are symptoms, and you will come out way ahead just by really solving one.
3. Flexibility. This one is so important. You may have a plan to ride but when you get to the barn, you horse isn't quite right, don't ride. Or you might be really in your head thinking of a work problem or dealing with a family issue, don't ride. Be flexible so that you don't have setbacks. This is really for those of us overcoming fear. We have to be a little more careful than our carefree riding friends that have never felt our fear and can just push through anomalies.
Whatever it is for you, make sure you always have support. You are not alone! If you would like to try out hypnosis like I did, you can check it out here: Check it out!
I found myself wondering how I went from being a confident rider to the anxious fearful rider with just one accident. There had been lots of falls before, but what was so special about this one? It dawned on me that I had been focusing on it. All the things that had gone wrong and how I had missed all the signs. Like many of you, fears and anxiety build up over time because our focus changes from the joy to the mishaps.
I believe we can use reflection as a specific tool to overcome our fear and anxiety and get back to our joy riding again.
Reflection allows us to process our experiences more thoroughly. After a ride, take the time to think about what went well, and what could be improved. This not only reinforces positive experiences but also helps us understand and celebrate our progress.
Reflecting helps in identifying patterns or triggers for fear. By breaking down a ride into smaller segments, we can pinpoint specific aspects that cause anxiety. Was it environment, not enough preparation, our own thoughts gone astray, or something else? This insight is crucial for addressing fears with targeted strategies, such as extra practice or mental techniques like visualization.
Another benefit of reflection is boosting self-confidence. When we acknowledge our improvements and successes, however small, it reinforces a positive mindset. Soak up those COURAGE PENNIES! (Grab my eBook for more on courage pennies here: Complimentary eBook) Celebrating these victories, no matter how minor, builds confidence and resilience, which are essential in overcoming fear.
Finally, regular reflection fosters a growth mindset. Instead of viewing challenges as setbacks, we can learn to see them as opportunities for growth. This shift in perspective can diminish the power of fear and anxiety, transforming them from obstacles into stepping stones.
In essence, reflecting on our rides offers valuable insights, reinforces positive experiences, and builds confidence. By embracing this practice, riders can better understand their fears and find effective ways to overcome them, ultimately enhancing their riding journey.
If you would like to hear my thoughts on this, you can find my Podcast, Turn Riding Fear Around here: PODCAST
I know for a long time, I wasn't sure if it was me or the horse that spooked. I never really believed that horses could feel my fear. You have probably heard that a hundred times, horses feel your fear. I thought I believed it, but did I really believe?
There are two things that have convinced me this is true and that is powerful. If they feel us, we can become better riders with that knowledge.
The first thing was hearing about the zebra herds in Africa. They are all grazing, not a care in the world and a lioness walks right through to the watering hole, and then back to snooze in the shade. The herd just keeps right on grazing. The lioness wakes up from her snooze and decides to hunt and immediately, the first zebra that feels her energy sounds the alarm and, in that instant, THEY ALL RUN. They could feel the energy of the lioness. We are chump change compared to that so we must be much easier to read, we are not even trying to hide our emotions.
The second thing that changed my belief was the windy day I was near the horses while they were eating. I watched a plastic bag blow off the porch and all the way into the pasture, around the horses' legs, under them, around them, and not a single horse even flicked an ear. I decided to be fearful of the bag, really terrified. As soon as I had the thought, the horse jumped and ran with their tails up and snorting at the bag. It was eye opening, and it gave me power.
We can work on our focus, our energy, our emotions. We can become better. We can leave the mind chatter at home. We are empowered to make different choices. Especially riding, we can stay focused on where we are going and what we are doing, and we can ignore everything else. This is assuming well broke horses and not greenies but even with horses that are learning, the more we have consistent, confident emotions, the more they will rely on us as leaders.
My latest blog I share about the plastic bag incident and my insights. If you would like to check it out, you can listen on most podcast platforms or click here to watch on Rumble.
