I found myself wondering how I went from being a confident rider to the anxious fearful rider with just one accident. There had been lots of falls before, but what was so special about this one? It dawned on me that I had been focusing on it. All the things that had gone wrong and how I had missed all the signs. Like many of you, fears and anxiety build up over time because our focus changes from the joy to the mishaps.
I believe we can use reflection as a specific tool to overcome our fear and anxiety and get back to our joy riding again.
Reflection allows us to process our experiences more thoroughly. After a ride, take the time to think about what went well, and what could be improved. This not only reinforces positive experiences but also helps us understand and celebrate our progress.
Reflecting helps in identifying patterns or triggers for fear. By breaking down a ride into smaller segments, we can pinpoint specific aspects that cause anxiety. Was it environment, not enough preparation, our own thoughts gone astray, or something else? This insight is crucial for addressing fears with targeted strategies, such as extra practice or mental techniques like visualization.
Another benefit of reflection is boosting self-confidence. When we acknowledge our improvements and successes, however small, it reinforces a positive mindset. Soak up those COURAGE PENNIES! (Grab my eBook for more on courage pennies here: Complimentary eBook) Celebrating these victories, no matter how minor, builds confidence and resilience, which are essential in overcoming fear.
Finally, regular reflection fosters a growth mindset. Instead of viewing challenges as setbacks, we can learn to see them as opportunities for growth. This shift in perspective can diminish the power of fear and anxiety, transforming them from obstacles into stepping stones.
In essence, reflecting on our rides offers valuable insights, reinforces positive experiences, and builds confidence. By embracing this practice, riders can better understand their fears and find effective ways to overcome them, ultimately enhancing their riding journey.
If you would like to hear my thoughts on this, you can find my Podcast, Turn Riding Fear Around here: PODCAST
I know for a long time, I wasn't sure if it was me or the horse that spooked. I never really believed that horses could feel my fear. You have probably heard that a hundred times, horses feel your fear. I thought I believed it, but did I really believe?
There are two things that have convinced me this is true and that is powerful. If they feel us, we can become better riders with that knowledge.
The first thing was hearing about the zebra herds in Africa. They are all grazing, not a care in the world and a lioness walks right through to the watering hole, and then back to snooze in the shade. The herd just keeps right on grazing. The lioness wakes up from her snooze and decides to hunt and immediately, the first zebra that feels her energy sounds the alarm and, in that instant, THEY ALL RUN. They could feel the energy of the lioness. We are chump change compared to that so we must be much easier to read, we are not even trying to hide our emotions.
The second thing that changed my belief was the windy day I was near the horses while they were eating. I watched a plastic bag blow off the porch and all the way into the pasture, around the horses' legs, under them, around them, and not a single horse even flicked an ear. I decided to be fearful of the bag, really terrified. As soon as I had the thought, the horse jumped and ran with their tails up and snorting at the bag. It was eye opening, and it gave me power.
We can work on our focus, our energy, our emotions. We can become better. We can leave the mind chatter at home. We are empowered to make different choices. Especially riding, we can stay focused on where we are going and what we are doing, and we can ignore everything else. This is assuming well broke horses and not greenies but even with horses that are learning, the more we have consistent, confident emotions, the more they will rely on us as leaders.
My latest blog I share about the plastic bag incident and my insights. If you would like to check it out, you can listen on most podcast platforms or click here to watch on Rumble.
The butterflies of excitement had invaded my tummy as I was sitting there, waiting for my first ride on Space Mountain at Disneyland. I remember that day clearly as I was on a special pass and getting a guided tour, first in line sponsored by corporate Disney. The excitement of the red-carpet treatment was crazy. Recently, I heard that the butterflies of excitement are the same as the butterflies of "what if" fears. The two are the same feeling. We all get to choose excitement or fear! This is a huge revelation.
This inspired me to share the 4 steps to handling nerves when getting back into the saddle. Fill up with that butterfly excitement and joy and follow these steps:
1. Preparation. Make sure you and your horse are both as prepared as you can be. Use a pre-ride checklist (get a copy of mine here!), and check it off, just like a pilot would do before flying a plane. Your safety is as important as any passenger on a plane.
2. Verify the horse is ready to be mounted. Standing still and calm. Move them by pushing back and forth slightly on the saddle to make sure they are standing balanced and square. Pick your reins up to just right, not so they are tight but so they are there if you need to move them slightly to stop forward motion. You can have someone at your horse's head for your courage, but you don't want them trying to hold the horse still, get that really good first.
3. Get on, breathe, when you are ready, take the steps you are ready to take. Stop, get off, repeat a few times taking a few more steps each time. CELEBRATE!
4. Decide what your comfort zone is and take one more step. If you are comfortable going 50 feet, go to 55 feet and then return to where you started. Next time, go 60 feet, return to start. Just keep building your distance, your time in the saddle, and your courage! Soak it up! Enjoy it as you go.
You can check out my latest blogs talking about overcoming fear at most podcast platforms or here on Rumle! Turn Riding Fear Around Podcast.
Learning how to swim was challenging for me. I remember it like it was yesterday, the struggle to stay above water even though I was just swimming a little bit further and further each time I tried. My sister learned really fast, they threw her in the deep end and held a pole out for her to reach for. Bam, one session and she was swimming. There is a whole spectrum in between. I think overcoming fear and anxiety falls onto this scale and from what I have seen, trainers are on the deep end side of things, just do it, and most of us with fear, prefer to work though it, a little bit at a time. Like "What About Bob" if you saw that great movie for overcoming fear.
The big question is how do we do this? Here are a few steps that worked for me.
1. Set a goal that feels doable. When I started overcoming my fear, my goal was to get on and take four steps. I was elated when I jumped off after 4 steps!
At some point, you have to get on. Pick a day that the horse is ready and you are ready. Don't use this as an excuse but also don't do it on a day there is lightning or winds.
2. Figure out what the best day will be and do it. Get on and accomplish your goal and then celebrate.
3. Get help if you want. Alicia Dickinson is a Grand Prix Dressage rider and when she takes a new horse out on the first hack, she has someone lead it. She makes safety a priority. Don't feel bad if you need a little help. I would make sure the horse is great for mounting and standing still, don't have someone holding the horse dancing around to mount. That is a recipe for more fear. Having someone put a lead rope on and just walk with you will boost your confidence. I give you permission.
4. Use safety equipment if it makes you feel better. I ride with a helmet, my Sea Doo life jacket, and a neck strap to grab onto.
Figure out your baby steps, plan them, and then most importantly, DO THEM!
If you want to hear me talking about "Deep End vs. Tiny Steps", it is on my latest podcast you can find here:
After my accident, I found that if the horse I was riding lifted its head a little bit, I got off. The trigger for my fear was the start of a rear. Like many of you that have some anxiety or fear, there is a trigger that starts our mind down the process of creating the fear. Whether it be the horse speeding up a bit, or dropping its head like it might buck, or like me, lifting its head like it might rear, there is something that starts that spiral into fear.
Here are my favorite three things to stop the spiral and regain confidence:
1. Distract the mind. I love playing games with my horse (and others if I am riding with company). When we were little, my parents played games with us while driving and they have carried over into my riding. "I'm taking a trip and in my bag I pack......" is one of my favorites. I do something for me and then something for the horse and then me and then the horse. Another one is playing "I Spy" to focus on where I am heading with my horse. Create your own games to play!
2. Police Focus. I learned this watching Binky at a police clinic. They had the rider focus 100 feet ahead of them as they rode past all kinds of crazy things. It was amazing how it worked. Nervous horses and nervous riders we no match for crystal clear focus out in front of them. I now know why my trainer was always yelling at us to LOOK UP, but they never explained why.
3. Say as many nursery rhymes as you can remember. This is a fun one too. I started off, "Chilly Willy was a bear....." and then realized that didn't work and cracked up. I had to look up "Fuzzy Wuzzy" when I got home. I was amazed at how many I could remember and also how many I could not remember.
If you want to hear me talking about "Chicken Posting", another great way to distract the mind, it is on my latest podcast you can find here:
The point of all of these is to keep the mind distracted from spiraling into the negative thoughts that lead to fear and anxiety. It works for all kinds of things, not just riding.
