I have received a couple of questions on buddy sour. I have a couple of things that have worked really good for buddy sour.
1. Feeding with the flag - from Carson James. This one took me a few months but I was dealing with a VERY aggressive mare that had bit me in the back, kicked another horse over on me, twice, so this was first and foremost in changing her attitude. I took the buckets of feed in to the pasture, gave my quiet mare, Taika, her food and set the aggressive mare, Binky's, food about 5 feet away. Mostly because I had a hard enough time getting Taika to eat so I didn't want to disturb her. I made Binky stand 50 feet off until she lowered her head and walked in respectfully. If she even twitched an ear, she went back to 50 feet with me looking like a mountain lion, mostly for my safety, I could not be wishy washy. I had to get my timing right and it took a few months but they now all go to their buckets and stand there waiting patiently. If an ear flicks back, they MOVE off their feed, every single time. What I didn't expect was how much it helped the buddy sour! It was huge.
2. I put them in the small arena together and I just sit in the middle and hang out. If they stay on opposite sides of the arena, not exactly but in general, I leave them alone. They can come up to me but not in my bubble, about 3 to 5 feet away from me. If they get onto the same side of the arena, I make them work, or at least I make the horse that approached the other one work. I do this until I see them start to move toward each other and then turn away all on their own. Then I know they got the lesson. I only did this twice and never even needed to do it when I added the third horse. I can take anyone out at any time and there is no issue.
3. I take the one out that is the worst, and start walking away, if they want to go back to their buddy, we go back and I make them move their haunches politely and softly but make them move, then move the shoulders, and just work on supple for 5 minutes or so and then I walk off like nothing different and if they want to go back, we repeat. The combination of these has been amazing for my three mares! Keep me posted. There are a few other things too but these are my favorites.
Overcoming my fear had to start with safety in all situations and learning these above things, really helped me with my safety, with their safety, and it built my courage, very fast. I could see how leadership and partnership really wasn't as hard and scary as I thought. Timing took a bit but the more my timing on things around them on the ground improved, so did my timing on riding.
If you would like more information on overcoming fear, or buddy sour, you are welcome to join my small FB support/cheerleading group! Click Here.
Have you ever felt that fear start up when you think about going to ride your horse? You have the thought, what if the wind starts blowing? What if he is frisky? What if….Insert yours here!
We can all play the what if game for days looking for the things that can go wrong. What if, we change that around and look for the "what if" that are AMAZING? Wouldn't it be wonderful to think about riding your horse and be flooded with feelings of JOY?
It is possible and if you were ever that FEARLESS KID, it will come back to you!
I had a horrendous accident and I let it HOLD ME BACK from enjoying my riding. I had to make the DECISION to change my FEAR to COURAGE and get my riding back! Once I made the decision, the process opened up for me and here are the 3 key steps that I went through to getting back into the saddle again and riding my horse.
Step 1 - Health. I know this sounds massive, and for some, this will not be an issue at all, but for me, getting older, I needed to get my health back. One of the reasons kids are fearless is because they don’t have aches and pains. I changed my diet a couple times until I got it right and in doing so, my migraines disappeared (BONUS), my flexibility improved tremendously and so did my confidence with my balance and strength riding. I also had to get my mindset fixed but both of these are complete topics on their own. The other part of this was my horses health and mind. These four elements - Rider Health, Rider Mind, Horse Health, and Horse Mind - all have to be functioning for courage to prevail.
Step 2 - Knowledge. This one was so hard for me at first. How do you go about getting the knowledge you need. The horse trainers I talked to didn't "get" the fear, they didn't have fear. They just said "GO CANTER" or whatever it was because they didn't connect with my level of fear like the horse connected with it. I also tried going to "coaches" but they didn't "get" the combination of rider and horse feeding fear off of each other. I finally found an amazing coach that really helped with cutting the ties to the fear from the accident and I worked through an anchoring process, using Stress Away on my right wrist and Thieves on my left wrist to ANCHOR calm and courage respectfully from a smell to a feeling. These two pieces of knowledge were a huge start.
Step 3 - Experience. This was the hardest part at first. I had to put myself into a "what if" things go amazing place and fill myself with those emotions. I had to use my Anchors to set it into my mind and body. I had to create an amazing vision for what I wanted the ride to look like and then I had to GET ON and ride. I created exercises to help build the confidence and courage as I went and those first few rides, where I had complete peace and joy were worth every minute of working on this process.
So in a nutshell, these are the 3 things that I found worked for me: Health - Rider and Horse; Knowledge; and Experience. Following these 3 pieces of foundation, are so important so that you can enjoy riding your horse again in Confidence and Courage! Think about how grateful your horse will be to not have to deal with your fear any more!
We can all play the what if game for days looking for the things that can go wrong. What if, we change that around and look for the "what if" that are AMAZING? Wouldn't it be wonderful to think about riding your horse and be flooded with feelings of JOY?
It is possible and if you were ever that FEARLESS KID, it will come back to you!
I had a horrendous accident and I let it HOLD ME BACK from enjoying my riding. I had to make the DECISION to change my FEAR to COURAGE and get my riding back! Once I made the decision, the process opened up for me and here are the 3 key steps that I went through to getting back into the saddle again and riding my horse.
Step 1 - Health. I know this sounds massive, and for some, this will not be an issue at all, but for me, getting older, I needed to get my health back. One of the reasons kids are fearless is because they don’t have aches and pains. I changed my diet a couple times until I got it right and in doing so, my migraines disappeared (BONUS), my flexibility improved tremendously and so did my confidence with my balance and strength riding. I also had to get my mindset fixed but both of these are complete topics on their own. The other part of this was my horses health and mind. These four elements - Rider Health, Rider Mind, Horse Health, and Horse Mind - all have to be functioning for courage to prevail.
Step 2 - Knowledge. This one was so hard for me at first. How do you go about getting the knowledge you need. The horse trainers I talked to didn't "get" the fear, they didn't have fear. They just said "GO CANTER" or whatever it was because they didn't connect with my level of fear like the horse connected with it. I also tried going to "coaches" but they didn't "get" the combination of rider and horse feeding fear off of each other. I finally found an amazing coach that really helped with cutting the ties to the fear from the accident and I worked through an anchoring process, using Stress Away on my right wrist and Thieves on my left wrist to ANCHOR calm and courage respectfully from a smell to a feeling. These two pieces of knowledge were a huge start.
Step 3 - Experience. This was the hardest part at first. I had to put myself into a "what if" things go amazing place and fill myself with those emotions. I had to use my Anchors to set it into my mind and body. I had to create an amazing vision for what I wanted the ride to look like and then I had to GET ON and ride. I created exercises to help build the confidence and courage as I went and those first few rides, where I had complete peace and joy were worth every minute of working on this process.
So in a nutshell, these are the 3 things that I found worked for me: Health - Rider and Horse; Knowledge; and Experience. Following these 3 pieces of foundation, are so important so that you can enjoy riding your horse again in Confidence and Courage! Think about how grateful your horse will be to not have to deal with your fear any more!
Come join my "Cheerleading" group cheering each other on in this journey. If you don't experience fear, come help those of us that do and if you do have fear, it is a safe place to share, learn and grow! Click here so that you can enjoy riding your horse again!
The Road Runner view of fear! Who loved watching the Road Runner as a kid? If you haven't watched it before, check it out on Youtube. I love that no matter what, the Road Runner was always fine and no matter what, Wile-E-Coyote was in a pickle. Isn't that true with us when we stand in courage vs. when we curl up in fear?
My accident felt like one of Wile-E-Coyote's disasters! Every time I thought of it or talked about it, I could feel the overwhelming fear rise up and consume me. Have you had an accident that seems to just take over your life, especially when you think about riding your horse? Your fear is preventing you from enjoying the riding you and your horse deserve? Are you the SMASHED Wile-E-COYOTE????
Why not rewrite our memory in the form of a Cartoon? And if the fear is in the future, why not write an amazing cartoon of cool places you are going to see or goals you are going to achieve with your horse? Be the Road Runner!
I turned around my "TERRIFYING ACCIDENT" and made it a cartoon!
There I am, the Road Runner, Running around the campground on the back of a big bay horse, who happens to be wearing a pink Tootoo and ballet Slippers! We are zipping along and out of nowhere, Wile-E-Coyote attacks us with his ACME product of the day. The big giant ballerina horse FLOPS Over from the blast on top of Wile-E-Coyote, and as ALWAYS, he is SMASHED right there in the campground! I pop up fine….BEEP BEEP…..and off I go for another adventure! (If you want to hear my original story of terror, check it out here on Youtube!)
You can convince your brain of anything you want to. Why not look at the funny side of things instead of the bad? Why not store things in your brain in a way that makes you feel good even when bad stuff happened?
If I look back over my 51 years of riding history, I have had maybe 5 scary falls and only ONE that was terrifying and yet that one has defined the last 20 years of my riding on the trails. I added it up, and conservatively, it is TEN THOUSAND HOURS of joy to less than a minute of TERROR. The percent chance of something happening is much less than ZERO!
And yet, for 20 years, this fear has held me back from trail riding. I can honestly say, the process of creating a cartoon of the accident and really feeling the laughter bubble up was HUGE for me. I can now look back and instead of tears, there is laughter, I am lighter. There is HOPE!
I challenge you to look back at your accident and create a cartoon, make it as funny as you can make it. Revamp it to make it funnier! Get to where you can laugh about your situation. If you have not had an accident and are just having a growing fear of getting hurt. Picture that accident you are afraid MIGHT happen and then turn it around into a cartoon. The laughter will serve you well as you feel fear. Embed this cartoon memory into your brain, replace the original. Nobody says we have to keep our memories "true". Fear never goes away, we have to know that we can handle the fear and laughter helps us to see that WE CAN HANDLE IT.
If you would love help writing your cartoon, or just want to rise to Courage, please join my free FB Fear to Courage support Group and share your CARTOON With us! We all need a little laughter and levity when we are sharing our fears!
My accident felt like one of Wile-E-Coyote's disasters! Every time I thought of it or talked about it, I could feel the overwhelming fear rise up and consume me. Have you had an accident that seems to just take over your life, especially when you think about riding your horse? Your fear is preventing you from enjoying the riding you and your horse deserve? Are you the SMASHED Wile-E-COYOTE????
Why not rewrite our memory in the form of a Cartoon? And if the fear is in the future, why not write an amazing cartoon of cool places you are going to see or goals you are going to achieve with your horse? Be the Road Runner!
I turned around my "TERRIFYING ACCIDENT" and made it a cartoon!
There I am, the Road Runner, Running around the campground on the back of a big bay horse, who happens to be wearing a pink Tootoo and ballet Slippers! We are zipping along and out of nowhere, Wile-E-Coyote attacks us with his ACME product of the day. The big giant ballerina horse FLOPS Over from the blast on top of Wile-E-Coyote, and as ALWAYS, he is SMASHED right there in the campground! I pop up fine….BEEP BEEP…..and off I go for another adventure! (If you want to hear my original story of terror, check it out here on Youtube!)
You can convince your brain of anything you want to. Why not look at the funny side of things instead of the bad? Why not store things in your brain in a way that makes you feel good even when bad stuff happened?
If I look back over my 51 years of riding history, I have had maybe 5 scary falls and only ONE that was terrifying and yet that one has defined the last 20 years of my riding on the trails. I added it up, and conservatively, it is TEN THOUSAND HOURS of joy to less than a minute of TERROR. The percent chance of something happening is much less than ZERO!
And yet, for 20 years, this fear has held me back from trail riding. I can honestly say, the process of creating a cartoon of the accident and really feeling the laughter bubble up was HUGE for me. I can now look back and instead of tears, there is laughter, I am lighter. There is HOPE!
I challenge you to look back at your accident and create a cartoon, make it as funny as you can make it. Revamp it to make it funnier! Get to where you can laugh about your situation. If you have not had an accident and are just having a growing fear of getting hurt. Picture that accident you are afraid MIGHT happen and then turn it around into a cartoon. The laughter will serve you well as you feel fear. Embed this cartoon memory into your brain, replace the original. Nobody says we have to keep our memories "true". Fear never goes away, we have to know that we can handle the fear and laughter helps us to see that WE CAN HANDLE IT.
If you would love help writing your cartoon, or just want to rise to Courage, please join my free FB Fear to Courage support Group and share your CARTOON With us! We all need a little laughter and levity when we are sharing our fears!
How many of you (of the wiser generation) dreamed of having Mr. Ed? I remember thinking, Wow, a horse that I could have conversations with! That would be the Bees Knees!!!! I really believed that it was possible, that it was the normal way of the horse and the human, I had the rose colored glasses on for sure! Communicating with your horse is powerful.
In steps my Co-riders, trainers, and others, always saying: "Show them who's the Boss", "Step up and be the Leader", "You can't let them get away with Anything", etc! How many times have I listened (and acted) but it just didn't seem right? More than I would like to admit and I still fall into that trap once in a while. Telling my horses to do something! There are times when you have to tell them, like when I was on a trail ride and saw a Rattle Snake, but it should be like a parent telling a child, once in awhile. Most of the time, it should be a two way conversation!
I listened to a popular trainer and was doing the things he told us to do, and my horse was getting more and more frazzled! It got to the point, I couldn't catch her in the pasture, if I did catch her and take her in to "WORK", she was a wreck, sweating, nervous, completely wanting to get away from me. It was like being slapped in the face! I DID THIS TO MY HORSE!
Well, I went on a mission to LEARN all I could and to have conversations with my horses and it has changed my life (and theirs)! I have amazing conversations with my horses now! It takes time, they really didn't trust that I was listening to them at first. They didn't "TRUST" that I was really hearing them and going to have a two way conversation.
Once I saw them starting to trust me, our relationship really started to blossom! My horses would come to the gate and put their heads in the halter, ready for whatever adventure was going to come our way! Mutually grooming became MUCH MORE Interactive! They would show me where they wanted scratched and I could point to my back and get the BEST back scratching EVER!!!! They are really good!!!!
The more our conversations blossomed, the more my courage returned riding them! My mares are calm, quiet, not buddy sour, not herd bound, and the best part, THEY ARE CURIOUS! I feel completely Blessed to be having true conversations with my horses. They don't always get what they want, again, think Parent and child relationship and I am responsible for their health and well being so I do have to do things they may not like. Treating wounds, trimming feet, staying safe riding, etc, but for the most part, we get to be PARTNERS in the joy now and it is worth everything to me!
I know you want to hear more, you made it this far! Here I talk about my 3 favorites in my goofy Youtube video, or, if you prefer you can read them in my Snippets!
I absolutely LOVE summer, heat, humidity, they agree with me. But I also use summer heat as an EXCUSE not to ride!!!!
Who is with me on this one???? You get all dressed up to go ride, you walk out the door, and you think, maybe later, maybe I will get up earlier, maybe after they eat, maybe after I eat, EVERY EXCUSE in the book, I have used.
But what if you look at this differently. My main reason for not riding is FEAR, I will admit that. The FEAR of getting hurt! The heat seems like as good a reason as any NOT to ride. Can I USE HEAT, to my advantage?
What CAN I DO in the heat?
- Walk
- Halt
- Backing
- Small Bending Circles
- Turn on the forehand/haunches
- Leg Yields
- Serpentine - Using Reins or just the legs
- Etc.
GENIUS!
I have been doing this for a few days now with Taika and I have to admit, I am having a BLAST. Every minute spent on her back adds Courage Penny's into the Piggy Bank! I can feel my confidence growing and it is so simple. We are developing our partnership!
It is hot so she doesn't want to run off or bolt or do anything except stand. She gets the reward of a nice cool bath after. We find places that are in the shade which pushes me out of my comfort zone and are places I haven't ridden before but it is easy because she wants the shade too.
There is some prep involved that I recommend. If it is really hot you can hose off before riding, just make sure you sweat scrap. I always use my Thieves for Courage and Stress Away for Calm and they really help me! I wear my FROGG TOGG which has been a HUGE game changer for me (link at the bottom). I keep a bottle of water right by my grooming area, with my amazing electrolyte stuff to save me from passing out when I get off.
All of this has made for a GREAT Summer and I know that every foot step I take on the back of a horse, gives me one more penny in my Courage Bank!
If you have read this far, you might be interested in joining my FREE SUPPORT GROUP for people searching for their riding Courage!
I also have a bonus for you, 3 Easy Ways to Build Courage with Your Horse! Click Here To Get the BONUS!
