Courage

Have you ever felt that fear start up when you think about going to ride your horse?  You have the thought, what if the wind starts blowing? What if he is frisky?  What if….Insert yours here!

We can all play the what if game for days looking for the things that can go wrong.  What if, we change that around and look for the "what if" that are AMAZING?  Wouldn't it be wonderful to think about riding your horse and be flooded with feelings of JOY?

It is possible and if you were ever that FEARLESS KID, it will come back to you!

I had a horrendous accident and I let it HOLD ME BACK from enjoying my riding.  I had to make the DECISION to change my FEAR to COURAGE and get my riding back!  Once I made the decision, the process opened up for me and here are the 3 key steps that I went through to getting back into the saddle again and riding my horse.

Step 1 - Health.  I know this sounds massive, and for some, this will not be an issue at all, but for me, getting older, I needed to get my health back.  One of the reasons kids are fearless is because they don’t have aches and pains.  I changed my diet a couple times until I got it right and in doing so, my migraines disappeared (BONUS), my flexibility improved tremendously and so did my confidence with my balance and strength riding.  I also had to get my mindset fixed but both of these are complete topics on their own.  The other part of this was my horses health and mind.  These four elements - Rider Health, Rider Mind, Horse Health, and Horse Mind - all have to be functioning for courage to prevail.

Step 2 - Knowledge. This one was so hard for me at first.  How do you go about getting the knowledge you need.  The horse trainers I talked to didn't "get" the fear, they didn't have fear.  They just said "GO CANTER" or whatever it was because they didn't connect with my level of fear like the horse connected with it.  I also tried going to "coaches" but they didn't "get" the combination of rider and horse feeding fear off of each other.  I finally found an amazing coach that really helped with cutting the ties to the fear from the accident and I worked through an anchoring process, using Stress Away on my right wrist and Thieves on my left wrist to ANCHOR calm and courage respectfully from a smell to a feeling.  These two pieces of knowledge were a huge start.

Step 3 - Experience.  This was the hardest part at first.  I had to put myself into a "what if" things go amazing place and fill myself with those emotions.  I had to use my Anchors to set it into my mind and body.  I had to create an amazing vision for what I wanted the ride to look like and then I had to GET ON and ride.  I created exercises to help build the confidence and courage as I went and those first few rides, where I had complete peace and joy were worth every minute of working on this process.

So in a nutshell, these are the 3 things that I found worked for me: Health - Rider and Horse; Knowledge; and Experience.  Following these 3 pieces of foundation, are so important so that you can enjoy riding your horse again in Confidence and Courage!  Think about how grateful your horse will be to not have to deal with your fear any more!

Come join my "Cheerleading" group cheering each other on in this journey.  If you don't experience fear, come help those of us that do and if you do have fear, it is a safe place to share, learn and grow!  Click here so that you can enjoy riding your horse again!

How amazing would it be to have a genie, sitting on your shoulder, and you could say, "I wish for courage" and BAM, you would have all the courage you needed?  Well, anchoring may be the next best thing.  There are a lot of ways to do anchoring and there are a lot of things you can use as an anchor.  This is my favorite process and my favorite anchor system.

I used to be petrified of the Dentist, to the point of passing out in the waiting room to get my teeth cleaned.  After starting to use the Young Living essential oils, I discovered that I could focus all my calm into the smell of Stress Away and then use that when I need calm.  I started on a really peaceful day on the farm, hanging out with the horses in the pasture, just leaning against the fence with them grazing all around me.  The sun was warm and the pretty blue sky and green grass were a nice contrast to the dark bay mares.  In this place of peace, I put stress away on a lava bead bracelet on my right wrist and I just smelled it in.  Over and over for about 30 minutes.  It doesn't have to be this long for sure, but while in a completely calm, peaceful situation, you really want to "Anchor" that calm to that smell.  I redo this part of the process every chance I get to keep it fresh and because I love the peace that it brings to me.

Then, when I start to feel a little stress, sometimes a week before going to the dentist, I have a tool to bring me right back to the feelings of being in that pasture, the pure calm of heaven on earth.

Well, the bonus is, it also works while riding!  I found out that putting a drop of stress away on the bracelet right before I get on, lets me carry that tool with me, and if I even start to have a slight feeling I don't want coming up, I can smell that Stress Away and bring that Genie right back to my shoulder.  I can whisper, I wish for Calm, and BAM, the wish is granted.  I can then be in a mode of calm and trust my horse and enjoy the ride.

On the flipside of that, sometimes, I need to be the LEADER for my horse while riding.  She may be concerned about a tree that has fallen down, or something out of place from the last time.  We might be on a new ride and I need to be there for her and to guide her with my confidence.  I started a new trail that we had not been on before and the entrance was from a very sunny grass trail, through a hole just big enough for us, into a deep dark forest.  When I got to the trail head, my horse was NOT sure that it was a good idea to walk through that hole.  I just kept my leadership and assured her that we would be fine, I would not let anything happen to us and it took a little bit, but she did walk right into that hole.  I could not have done this from a state of fear myself.  When we talk about an Anchor, this is a great example I can focus on to create a Leadership/ Courage Anchor.  I love Thieves essential oil and the story behind the Thieves blend so that is the oil I chose to Anchor courage too.  I use a lava bead bracelet on my left wrist for Courage.  When I have feelings of leadership and courage, I anchor them into that smell of Thieves, every chance I get.

Then, when I am finding fear starting to come up, like facing my horse to that hole in the forest to walk through, I can smell the Thieves and know I will be all right and with my courage, my horses puts her trust in me and off into the forest we go for an amazing cool ride getting out of the heat of summer.  (Here is a link to check out the products I use!)

If you would love to find out more about overcoming fear, I would love to have you join our free Facebook support group, Happy, Courageous, Horses and Riders!

I have started feeding my horses Timothy Pellets twice a day, and I soak them first. What have I learned from Three Buckets of Timothy Pellets and how it relates to my riding and my horses?

Strength, Flexibility, Coordination on BOTH Sides of our bodies are as important as our horses being good on both sides!

First Thought - Strength - Is our strength EVEN. We expect our horses to have even strength on both sides but do we do what we need to for our own even strength?

I have to STIR the soaked pellets. I found out that me left arm is NOT as strong as my right arm and so, I stir two buckets left handed and one right handed. Guess what, IT MADE MY ARM SORE! This got me to thinking, how much do we work on strengthening our horses "weak" side and over do it? This was stirring two buckets, 3 minutes tops and I hurt. How many times have I done 10 or 15 minutes on my horse on something I am trying to help them learn?

THREE BUCKETS of feed and water are HEAVY, 50 pounds heavy, and lopsided 34 pounds on one side and 17 on the other side! I have about 100 yards to carry the feed buckets from the feed shed to the pasture.
My first question, How do I balance 3 buckets? I think the first few trips, I must have looked like a circus clown in an act gone BAD.

Second Thought - Flexibility - Are you flexible enough to easily reach down and adjust your foot in the stirrup or tighten your girth if you ride English? Both sides? We expect our horses to be flexible "Pokey" ponies on both sides, reaching under with a hind foot, bending around our leg, or even just going up and down switchbacks on a trail ride, can we do the same?

I was sitting on the bed one day, putting on my socks and I realized, I could NOT put my foot on the bed next to my butt to put my sock on. I could when I was younger but NOT ANY MORE! That changed over a few years and I am now so much more flexible, but what if I had not made changes? Would I be a great partner for my horse if I wasn't Flexible? Would I be "Gumby" for my "Pokey"?

Third Thought - Coordination - Can you brush your teeth with either your right hand or your left hand? LOL…..not really relevant directly to riding but yet, it is very relevant. We expect our horses to drop their nose and bend left or right with the slightest cue from our right or left hand and yet, we may not be that precise between our left and our right side!

I was thinking about my coordination and can I really be a GREAT "Hand" for my horse on both the left side and the right side and finesse the rein to have the smallest cue for my horse? This would improve communication and reduce pressure. I tried brushing my teeth with my left hand (and I am left handed mostly) but I brush my teeth right handed. I dropped the toothbrush in the sink three times! That is NOT coordination. That is NOT finesse. I tried cleaning my saddle with my left hand it also needs a lot of work! Guess I will be doing the 60/40 on EVERYTHING for a while to improve my coordination just like I would do with my horses!

To sum it up, we owe it to our horses to be the "BEST" that we can be. We expect it of our horses, why don't we expect the same of us? I will be pondering this question because I certainly have NOT been the best I could be.

I am putting together some posts on "BALANCED" Rider in my Finding Courage Facebook Group.  I think the better we can become, just like we expect from our horses, the more courage and confidence that will bring while riding.  Would love to have you join our facebook community (if you are not already part of it!)  JOIN OUR GROUP!!!

The Road Runner view of fear!  Who loved watching the Road Runner as a kid?  If you haven't watched it before, check it out on Youtube. I love that no matter what, the Road Runner was always fine and no matter what, Wile-E-Coyote was in a pickle. Isn't that true with us when we stand in courage vs. when we curl up in fear?

My accident felt like one of Wile-E-Coyote's disasters! Every time I thought of it or talked about it, I could feel the overwhelming fear rise up and consume me. Have you had an accident that seems to just take over your life, especially when you think about riding your horse? Your fear is preventing you from enjoying the riding you and your horse deserve? Are you the SMASHED Wile-E-COYOTE????

Why not rewrite our memory in the form of a Cartoon? And if the fear is in the future, why not write an amazing cartoon of cool places you are going to see or goals you are going to achieve with your horse? Be the Road Runner!

I turned around my "TERRIFYING ACCIDENT" and made it a cartoon!

There I am, the Road Runner, Running around the campground on the back of a big bay horse, who happens to be wearing a pink Tootoo and ballet Slippers! We are zipping along and out of nowhere, Wile-E-Coyote attacks us with his ACME product of the day. The big giant ballerina horse FLOPS Over from the blast on top of Wile-E-Coyote, and as ALWAYS, he is SMASHED right there in the campground! I pop up fine….BEEP BEEP…..and off I go for another adventure! (If you want to hear my original story of terror, check it out here on Youtube!)

You can convince your brain of anything you want to. Why not look at the funny side of things instead of the bad? Why not store things in your brain in a way that makes you feel good even when bad stuff happened?

If I look back over my 51 years of riding history, I have had maybe 5 scary falls and only ONE that was terrifying and yet that one has defined the last 20 years of my riding on the trails. I added it up, and conservatively, it is TEN THOUSAND HOURS of joy to less than a minute of TERROR. The percent chance of something happening is much less than ZERO!
And yet, for 20 years, this fear has held me back from trail riding. I can honestly say, the process of creating a cartoon of the accident and really feeling the laughter bubble up was HUGE for me. I can now look back and instead of tears, there is laughter, I am lighter. There is HOPE!

I challenge you to look back at your accident and create a cartoon, make it as funny as you can make it. Revamp it to make it funnier! Get to where you can laugh about your situation. If you have not had an accident and are just having a growing fear of getting hurt. Picture that accident you are afraid MIGHT happen and then turn it around into a cartoon. The laughter will serve you well as you feel fear. Embed this cartoon memory into your brain, replace the original. Nobody says we have to keep our memories "true". Fear never goes away, we have to know that we can handle the fear and laughter helps us to see that WE CAN HANDLE IT.

If you would love help writing your cartoon, or just want to rise to Courage, please join my free FB Fear to Courage support Group and share your CARTOON With us!  We all need a little laughter and levity when we are sharing our fears!

How many of you (of the wiser generation) dreamed of having Mr. Ed?  I remember thinking, Wow, a horse that I could have conversations with!  That would be the Bees Knees!!!!  I really believed that it was possible, that it was the normal way of the horse and the human, I had the rose colored glasses on for sure!  Communicating with your horse is powerful. 

In steps my Co-riders, trainers, and others, always saying: "Show them who's the Boss", "Step up and be the Leader", "You can't let them get away with Anything", etc!  How many times have I listened (and acted) but it just didn't seem right?  More than I would like to admit and I still fall into that trap once in a while.  Telling my horses to do something! There are times when you have to tell them, like when I was on a trail ride and saw a Rattle Snake, but it should be like a parent telling a child, once in awhile.  Most of the time, it should be a two way conversation!

I listened to a popular trainer and was doing the things he told us to do, and my horse was getting more and more frazzled! It got to the point, I couldn't catch her in the pasture, if I did catch her and take her in to "WORK", she was a wreck, sweating, nervous, completely wanting to get away from me.  It was like being slapped in the face!  I DID THIS TO MY HORSE!

Well, I went on a mission to LEARN all I could and to have conversations with my horses and it has changed my life (and theirs)! I have amazing conversations with my horses now!  It takes time, they really didn't trust that I was listening to them at first.  They didn't  "TRUST" that I was really hearing them and going to have a two way conversation.

Once I saw them starting to trust me, our relationship really started to blossom!  My horses would come to the gate and put their heads in the halter, ready for whatever adventure was going to come our way!  Mutually grooming became MUCH MORE Interactive! They would show me where they wanted scratched and I could point to my back and get the BEST back scratching EVER!!!!  They are really good!!!!  

The more our conversations blossomed, the more my courage returned riding them!  My mares are calm, quiet, not buddy sour, not herd bound, and the best part, THEY ARE CURIOUS!  I feel completely Blessed to be having true conversations with my horses.  They don't always get what they want, again, think Parent and child relationship and I am responsible for their health and well being so I do have to do things they may not like.  Treating wounds, trimming feet, staying safe riding, etc, but for the most part, we get to be PARTNERS in the joy now and it is worth everything to me!