How do you stop thinking about something that happened in the past?

How do you stop thinking about something that happened in the past?
We can get STUCK in memories of the past, replaying events over and over in our minds. While small amounts of reflection can be beneficial, dwelling on the past can prevent us from being fully present. 

Just like driving a car, constantly looking in the rearview mirror can cause accidents and prevent us from enjoying the journey and reaching our desired destination. 

So how do we break free from these mental cycles and focus on the present?

1. Acknowledge and accept:
The first step to freeing ourselves from the grip of the past is acknowledge that it cannot be changed. Similar to driving, it's essential to accept that whatever happened behind us no longer affects the present moment. Embrace the idea that the past has already served its purpose as a teacher, offering valuable insights and lessons.

2. Practice mindfulness:
Just as a driver must remain attentive to the road ahead, practicing mindfulness enables us to shift our focus to the present. Mindfulness involves consciously bringing our awareness to the current moment, free from judgment or attachment. By being fully present, we can appreciate the beauty of life and let go of repetitive thoughts about the past.

3. Release the emotional burden:
Like baggage in the trunk of a car, our emotional attachment to past events can weigh us down. To move forward, it's vital to release negative emotions tied to the past. One powerful technique is visualizing packing up the memories in a suitcase and setting them down on a train depot platform and get on the train, leaving the baggage behind.

4. Set clear intentions:
Having a clear focus on our present goals brings purpose and direction to our lives. Just as a driver sets a destination on their GPS, establishing clear intentions helps us navigate through life without getting stuck in the past. Write down your dreams, and the steps required to achieve them. This practice will cultivate a forward-thinking mindset and keep your focus anchored in the present moment.

5. Practice gratitude:
Gratitude is a transformative practice that helps us shift our perspective from what went wrong in the past to what is going right in the present. Every day, take a moment to reflect on things you are grateful for. Embracing gratitude allows positive emotions to flood your being, making it easier to let go of past grievances and embrace the abundance around you.

Just as driving requires our attention on the road ahead, living our lives to the fullest demands an unwavering focus on the present moment. By letting go of the past, practicing mindfulness, and setting clear intentions, we can liberate ourselves from the mental loops that hold us back. Remember, the journey of life is meant to be enjoyed, and I am here to support you, every step of the way. So, buckle up, embrace the present, and let your dreams drive you forward!

If you want a little help, grab my free Mindfulness guide here!

What is the key to success?

What is the key to success?
Sitting on the mounting block, tears streaming down my face, my beautiful horse, just breathing into me as I once again couldn't get on.  I let fear hold me back from riding my beautiful girl.  This wasn't the first time, but it was the defining time. 

We were moving to Kentucky with property to ride on and I was terrified to ride outside the arena.  My passion was to ride and yet, I was letting fear hold me back from hours of joy.  Like many of you, whether it is something happened to cause your fear or the fear just crept in, the joy that is taken from us can't be replaced, it is gone forever.

I believe we were put here on earth to enjoy life and not only conquer our fears, but to help others conquer their fears as well.

Using a system, is a great key to success and you can conquer your fear too.  Whether the fear is internal fear like fear of success, or external fear, like riding a horse, the system can be used to conquer either.

There are a number of steps in the system, but my favorite was to prepare for success.  Creating a pre-flight checklist, like a pilot looking over a plane before flying was so much fun!  I created one for me, and one for the horse.  Imagine looking at what your fear, and creating the perfect checklist to know you are safe and don't need to worry about the fear, just like that pilot that feels safe heading down the runway at top speed to leap into the air like a bird.

There are a number of steps in the process but this one, creating a checklist will get you started on your way to feeling great about bringing that joy back into your life.

For more information on the entire system, you can read my journey, and learn the process in my book, Rise from Fear to Courage!

What are horses afraid of?

What are horses afraid of?
This is a very interesting question, and I am sure there are a million answers.  Just as with all life, the most critical fear is dying.  In a lot of ways, they are blessed.  They don't have to be afraid of losing their job, losing their money, IRS tax audit, or any of the other fears and stresses that humans put on themselves.  They have one mission, to live through the day.

Their fears stem from anything that is new, that they need to figure out if it is going to kill them.  I was standing near the horses one day in the pasture, when a plastic bag went blowing on the wind, all around them and under their legs.  They didn't move.  When I saw it coming, my fear level went up, and they all started to react, but when I saw this, I just completely relaxed, and they did too.  They were not afraid of the bag.  They were afraid that I might be afraid of the bag.

Horses survival depends on not being the horse that is most afraid, but they need to not be the slowest to react.  The horse that is not in tune to the rest of the herd and danger vibes, will be the horse that doesn't make it, that is food for the predator.

Are they afraid of the predator?  No.  This shocked me.  A friend of mine was working Africa and had the great opportunity to observe lions and the herds.  The lions would walk right through the herds to the water and back and nobody would even raise their head.  They were not afraid of the lions.  Then, when the lioness would start to hunt, at the moment that the first herd animal felt that energy, the warning would go out, and they would all run.  

They were not afraid of the predator; they were afraid of the energy of being hunted.  This is useful information.  We can be that calm leader, that doesn't jump at every little thing, and our horses will start to see us as leader and trust us to keep them safe.  The more our energy is calm and aware, the more the horse can relax and let us lead.  Wishy washy, anxiety, and fear are not the energies of a leader.

If you enjoyed this, I talk a little more about my journey out of fear and back to courage in my book, would love to have you check it out!  Click here!

How Do I Stop Obsessing Over What If?

How Do I Stop Obsessing Over What If?
What if we turn it around from how do I stop obsessing over what if, to how do I obsess over amazing what if's?  There are a lot of times we worry and stress about what might happen, what could happen in a bad way, the worst-case scenario.  Nobody says we have to stay in the negative mind yuck.

Let's change our what ifs around to the best possible outcomes.  The amazing things that we want.  Fill ourselves up with what ifs that support our dreams and become our reality.  This was more powerful that I could have imagined.  I first wrote down the main yucky what ifs that were stuck in my head when I would think about riding.  I looked at them from the root.  For me, it was not being in control.  Surprise, that shows up in other areas of my life too!  How could I change it around to what ifs that let me be in control?

I just dove in.  What if my ride is relaxing and we enjoy every minute?  What if I feel the rhythm of my horses' feet and we are in sync for the entire ride?  What if we get to see amazing things, feel the sun on our backs and the breeze on our cheeks.  The more I wrote down the what if's the filled me with joy, the more I felt good.  The less room there was for anxiety and fear.  I wrote down 10, powerful what if's and practiced them 5 times a day for 7 days.  WOW.  I could hardly remember the original what if's that had caused so much stress.  They had faded.  The more I fill up with great, amazing what if's, the more the yuck fades.  The best part, my horses seem to feel the shift in me, they are more attentive and in tune.  They want to be with me instead of running from me.

If you would like to see a short mini-course I did on creating better what if's, just click here!



Lost Confidence Riding Horses? 3 steps to getting it back!

Lost Confidence Riding Horses? 3 steps to getting it back!

Confidence can go out with a bang, or a buck, or it can gently slip away like the flow of a creek.  Either way, losing confidence can rob the joy from riding our precious horses. After a horrible accident, mine went out with a bang.  It then, slowly slipped away, further and further until it seemed completely out of reach.  I had to make the decision to get it back and enjoy riding again.  Here are three steps that really helped me.

 

The first step is making the decision.  It would have been so easy to listen to the others and to my fear. I was getting too old, I don't bounce like I used to, I might get hurt and so many others.  I really evaluated the joy I was missing from not riding and that made all the difference.  I made the decision to ride again.  That decision wasn't easy but it was so rewarding.  I was done letting a lack of confidence rob me of hundreds of hours of joy riding.

 

The second step is to put an action plan in place.  Look at the fear and do what is needed to be done to turn that into a success.  Everyone's fear is different so write yours down, evaluate the fear, take action to help the fear get smaller and the confidence grow.  One of my fears, getting hurt, is an easy one to look at as a sample.  What actions could I take to improve my confidence that I wouldn't get hurt. Action 1 = make sure my horses were safe for me, my level of riding.  Action 2 = get MIPS helmet and a vest. Action 3 = improve my balance and flexibility. It was a huge confidence boost to have a plan and see that I could implement it.

 

The third step is to think like an airplane pilot.  Pilots have a complete checklist they go through before they ever take the plane down the runway.  They do this every single time.  Put together your plan, your checklist.  Use it. Follow it.  Put things in that make you know you are ready and things so that you know on that day, at that time, your horse is ready.  If you would like some help with this, I have a whole session in my Fear to Courage Virtual Clinic that walks through my pre-ride checklist for myself and my horse.  This was so important for me to get my courage back.  Knowing when it is ok to get on and when it isn't.  (You can find out more information about the virtual clinic here.)

 

If you would like to hear a little about my journey to courage, I share some thoughts that might resonate with you, in this video.  Click here to watch the video!


 
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