I was sitting there with my aunt to get our ears pierced, I was eleven years old and my aunt was too afraid to go alone so she gave me earrings for Christmas so we could go together. I am not a needle person. I didn't want pierced ears. I was terrified but I knew I had to buck up and be brave for her. And I did it! I got my ears pierced! I didn't die, I survived and it was a cherished memory.
Then disaster struck with the whole earring thing. What do you mean turn them every day? What do you mean take them out and put them back in? What do you mean change them out? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?????
I know this sound ridiculous, and often times fear seems ridiculous to everyone around us, they don't get it, they don't have our fear. This process, taught me how to find courage. How to take little steps, day after day to build courage. This taught me that yes, courage is a skill, that can be learned.
It took months. My dad had to turn my earrings and put the rubbing alcohol on them. After a few weeks, I was able to turn them, if I was laying down on the bed. My dad had to take them out and put them back in. After a few weeks, I could take the backs off. A few more weeks, I could pull them out. A few more months and I could put them back in and put the back on. Now, it is second nature.
Like many of you, we have areas of our life that are held back by fear. We can choose to learn how to have courage, or to let fear hold us back. We can choose to take the little tiny baby steps that are just out of our comfort zone, one little step at a time to learn courage. We get to overcome our fears, if we choose to. Think about courage as a learned skill. If you can learn anything, you can learn courage.
If you would like some help with learning courage, get my free guide, 6 Steps to Making Better Choices.
I went 15 years without falling and then competing in a big jumper class, I fell off over a jump. I was talking to my young friend about it and she realized, the last time I had fallen was before she was born and we just paused, and really connected in that moment. We all have the chance of falling or having an accident of any kind, may not even involve horses.
Fortunately, horses have the remarkable ability to help us conquer this fear and unlock our true potential. Let's explore how horses enable us to overcome the fear of falling and discover a new level of self-confidence.
1. Building Trust and Connection:
Horses are known for their intuitive nature and ability to form strong bonds with humans. When working with horses, we learn that trust is the foundation of any successful relationship. Through patient and consistent interaction, we develop a deep sense of trust with these majestic creatures. This trust-building process helps us overcome our fear of falling, as it allows us to relinquish control and rely on the strength and stability of the horse.
2. Developing Balance and Coordination:
Riding a horse requires a certain degree of balance and coordination. As we navigate the challenges of riding, we not only physically learn how to stay centered and in control but also mentally build the confidence needed to face the fear of falling. Horses teach us to embrace our body's natural power and work together in harmony to maintain balance, thus empowering us to overcome the fear that restricts our growth. They also encourage us to improve our health to be better riders!
3. Enhancing Self-Awareness:
Horses possess an ability to mirror our emotions and behavior, providing immediate feedback on our actions. Through this awareness, we can address and work through these emotions, gradually building our self-confidence in the face of falling. Courage pennies is a great way to track this amazing process of gaining courage! Soak up pennies every time you feel confident and use a penny or two when you have fear creap in. It is just a good visual to help!
4. Learning to Trust One's Intuition:
Horse riders begin to tap into their intuitive senses—gut feelings and instinctive responses to different situations. Trusting our intuition is crucial for overcoming the fear of falling, especially using this before we get on. Making sure everything with us and our horse is just right. It enables us to make split-second decisions and respond effectively. As we become more attuned to our intuition, we gain a deep sense of self-trust and confidence, further bolstering our ability to manage the fear of falling.
If you haven't read my book on getting over fear, it is a great process that helps anyone facing fear, know what steps to take to find courage again! You can get it here: Rise from Fear to COURAGE!
We can get STUCK in memories of the past, replaying events over and over in our minds. While small amounts of reflection can be beneficial, dwelling on the past can prevent us from being fully present.
Just like driving a car, constantly looking in the rearview mirror can cause accidents and prevent us from enjoying the journey and reaching our desired destination.
So how do we break free from these mental cycles and focus on the present?
1. Acknowledge and accept:
The first step to freeing ourselves from the grip of the past is acknowledge that it cannot be changed. Similar to driving, it's essential to accept that whatever happened behind us no longer affects the present moment. Embrace the idea that the past has already served its purpose as a teacher, offering valuable insights and lessons.
2. Practice mindfulness:
Just as a driver must remain attentive to the road ahead, practicing mindfulness enables us to shift our focus to the present. Mindfulness involves consciously bringing our awareness to the current moment, free from judgment or attachment. By being fully present, we can appreciate the beauty of life and let go of repetitive thoughts about the past.
3. Release the emotional burden:
Like baggage in the trunk of a car, our emotional attachment to past events can weigh us down. To move forward, it's vital to release negative emotions tied to the past. One powerful technique is visualizing packing up the memories in a suitcase and setting them down on a train depot platform and get on the train, leaving the baggage behind.
4. Set clear intentions:
Having a clear focus on our present goals brings purpose and direction to our lives. Just as a driver sets a destination on their GPS, establishing clear intentions helps us navigate through life without getting stuck in the past. Write down your dreams, and the steps required to achieve them. This practice will cultivate a forward-thinking mindset and keep your focus anchored in the present moment.
5. Practice gratitude:
Gratitude is a transformative practice that helps us shift our perspective from what went wrong in the past to what is going right in the present. Every day, take a moment to reflect on things you are grateful for. Embracing gratitude allows positive emotions to flood your being, making it easier to let go of past grievances and embrace the abundance around you.
Just as driving requires our attention on the road ahead, living our lives to the fullest demands an unwavering focus on the present moment. By letting go of the past, practicing mindfulness, and setting clear intentions, we can liberate ourselves from the mental loops that hold us back. Remember, the journey of life is meant to be enjoyed, and I am here to support you, every step of the way. So, buckle up, embrace the present, and let your dreams drive you forward!
If you want a little help, grab my free Mindfulness guide here!
Sitting on the mounting block, tears streaming down my face, my beautiful horse, just breathing into me as I once again couldn't get on. I let fear hold me back from riding my beautiful girl. This wasn't the first time, but it was the defining time.
We were moving to Kentucky with property to ride on and I was terrified to ride outside the arena. My passion was to ride and yet, I was letting fear hold me back from hours of joy. Like many of you, whether it is something happened to cause your fear or the fear just crept in, the joy that is taken from us can't be replaced, it is gone forever.
I believe we were put here on earth to enjoy life and not only conquer our fears, but to help others conquer their fears as well.
Using a system, is a great key to success and you can conquer your fear too. Whether the fear is internal fear like fear of success, or external fear, like riding a horse, the system can be used to conquer either.
There are a number of steps in the system, but my favorite was to prepare for success. Creating a pre-flight checklist, like a pilot looking over a plane before flying was so much fun! I created one for me, and one for the horse. Imagine looking at what your fear, and creating the perfect checklist to know you are safe and don't need to worry about the fear, just like that pilot that feels safe heading down the runway at top speed to leap into the air like a bird.
There are a number of steps in the process but this one, creating a checklist will get you started on your way to feeling great about bringing that joy back into your life.
For more information on the entire system, you can read my journey, and learn the process in my book, Rise from Fear to Courage!
This is a very interesting question, and I am sure there are a million answers. Just as with all life, the most critical fear is dying. In a lot of ways, they are blessed. They don't have to be afraid of losing their job, losing their money, IRS tax audit, or any of the other fears and stresses that humans put on themselves. They have one mission, to live through the day.
Their fears stem from anything that is new, that they need to figure out if it is going to kill them. I was standing near the horses one day in the pasture, when a plastic bag went blowing on the wind, all around them and under their legs. They didn't move. When I saw it coming, my fear level went up, and they all started to react, but when I saw this, I just completely relaxed, and they did too. They were not afraid of the bag. They were afraid that I might be afraid of the bag.
Horses survival depends on not being the horse that is most afraid, but they need to not be the slowest to react. The horse that is not in tune to the rest of the herd and danger vibes, will be the horse that doesn't make it, that is food for the predator.
Are they afraid of the predator? No. This shocked me. A friend of mine was working Africa and had the great opportunity to observe lions and the herds. The lions would walk right through the herds to the water and back and nobody would even raise their head. They were not afraid of the lions. Then, when the lioness would start to hunt, at the moment that the first herd animal felt that energy, the warning would go out, and they would all run.
They were not afraid of the predator; they were afraid of the energy of being hunted. This is useful information. We can be that calm leader, that doesn't jump at every little thing, and our horses will start to see us as leader and trust us to keep them safe. The more our energy is calm and aware, the more the horse can relax and let us lead. Wishy washy, anxiety, and fear are not the energies of a leader.
If you enjoyed this, I talk a little more about my journey out of fear and back to courage in my book, would love to have you check it out! Click here!
