I was 12 or so years old out riding my pony with friends and we were having so much fun on the trails. We saw a man a hundred yards away or so and what happened next terrified us. He sent his dogs to "GET US". They were four Rhodesian Ridgebacks, and they came full speed right at us on our ponies as if they were going to tear us apart. We turned and ran as fast as our ponies would run and managed to all make it to safety. There are times when riding, like this one, where fear is so important. We don't want to ride completely without fear. We just want to get rid of imaginary or perceived fear.
Here are three things that have helped me ride without fear:
1. Being mindful is probably the most important. There is so much in this. Paying attention before getting on to how you are feeling, how your horse is feeling and is it a good day for a ride for both of you. Once riding, pay attention as you ride to how you are feeling, how your horse is feeling, and what is going on around you but keeping focus on where you are heading. Even in an arena, keep the focus on the direction just like driving a car. Stay mindful of where you are heading and what you are doing.
2. Have a conversation with your horse. Ask your horse for responses and really listen to the responses you get. Watching their ears is a great way to start to see their responses. Stay in tune with your horse while you are riding. It is more like having a conversation with a great friend then what so many people think of master and horse. Play with the conversation and see how light you can ask for things and see how tiny of a response can you feel while listening to your horse.
3. Have an exit plan. If you know some of the things that trigger your fear, put together an exit plan. This could be breathing exercises, singing, something with your voice which keeps you from holding your breath. It can be refocusing on where you are heading, circles, figure eights, or something movement wise. Know if "A" happens, I will do "X". Whatever this is for you, look at the things riding that scare you and put a plan together on how you will handle it and then practice that. Also, don't be ashamed to have someone lead you or to get off. These are both viable and safe options.
If you have enjoyed these tips, you could get my free Pre-Ride Checklists for horse and rider to help you make sure you and your horse are ready for the ride. Pre-Ride Checklists!
I was sitting on my pretty grey mare, tears streaming down my face as my trainer yelled at me, "Make her move, now!" I had tried everything, but I couldn’t get her to budge. Frustrated, I got off and handed her to my trainer to "fix" the situation for me.
That day is etched in my memory as a moment when I was rigid—both physically and mentally. This experience fueled my fears, leaving me uncertain about how to cultivate flexibility. Eventually, I realized I needed to confront my fears instead of simply handing my horse off to someone else. By the time I sold her, I had learned some valuable lessons.
The Role of Mental Flexibility in Overcoming Fear:
Just as a horse can become stuck, I found myself in a similar mental state—frozen, staring blankly at the challenge ahead. I recognized that when working with horses, I would distract them to encourage movement. I needed to apply the same principle to myself. I learned to mentally redirect my focus, distracting myself from fear and refocusing my energy. Instead of curling up in a mental fetal position, I chose to embrace flexibility in my thoughts.
The Role of Physical Flexibility in Overcoming Fear
My mental rigidity translated to my body, causing it to shut down. Looking back at photos from that day, I noticed how slouched and curled up I appeared—essentially fetal while sitting on my horse. Since then, I’ve discovered that even a small adjustment, like lifting my head, can significantly boost my confidence. That tiny shift makes me want to straighten my shoulders and sit taller. I was amazed to find that this minor physical flexibility encouraged my horse to free up her feet and start moving. She could sense that I was ready to go.
Recently, my anxiety and fear have dropped to zero and calm has taken over. I have received a number of hypnotherapy sessions, and it has added so much to my flexibility mentally. If you have ever been curious about hypnotherapy and reducing fear and anxiety, schedule a chat with me to see if it would be a good fit for you. Hypnochat with Me!
I couldn't breathe, the horse was crushing me into the ground, and I just couldn't get my breathe. I thought I should be terrified with the horse flipped on me, but it was like watching someone else. The whole way to the hospital, I kept asking if I was dying. I didn't think I would make it to the hospital. The accident left very little physical damage thankfully, but the fear came in with a bang. For the next 20 years, I was trying to squelch the fear and find my fearless kid again. Our lives can change in the blink of an eye.
What I didn't know then is that while fear can change our brain wiring in the blink of an eye, we don't have to waste a bunch of time, energy, money, etc. getting our courage back. It really does make sense that if fear can come in that fast, reversing it should be quick too. The real question is, is it possible to get courage back fast and the answer is yes.
I was thinking of our mind as a giant room with really pretty filing cabinets all around. In one corner is a bright red filing cabinet with a large sign over it, DANGER. When we run into something that causes us fear, our subconscious takes it out of the pretty cabinets and puts it in red filing cabinet. Using a process known as NLP, Neuro-Linguistic-Programming, we can pull that file out of the red filing cabinet and put it back into the pretty white one where it belongs. I was still very skeptical.
I had a young lady that was terrified of spiders, so much so, it was hard for her to sleep. I guided her through the process and in about 15 minutes, she was good and said she had no more fear. We went outside and she went right up to a big spider. There was 0 fear according to her. We had pulled that "spider" folder out of the red filing cabinet and placed it back in the pretty white ones and she was so relieved. It didn't take weeks or months of therapy or mindset work, it just took working with her subconscious to pull that file and put it back where it belonged. We gave her a reset from her scary spider experience to like it never happened.
This is the first process I have seen that can get courage back FAST if someone wants their courage back.
If you would be interested in finding out more, let's have a 15-minute chat and see if it would be a good fit for your situation. Just click here to get on my schedule.
It was hot and humid as I was cleaning the horse shed. The horses were happily munching their food as the breeze started to swirl all around us. I saw the dreaded plastic bag bouncing around in the breeze around the horses legs. They didn't flick an ear as I stood there in shock. I realized that a lot of what we see in our horses is from us, not them.
I was sharing this with a friend and she told me about the lions and the zebras. She was a safari guide in Afirca for a bit and witneessed the most extroidinary example of energy. She was showing the herds at the watering hole, when a lioness walked right past them, through the herd, down to the water and drank. She then returned to the rest of the lions laying in the shade. Then she witnessed a lioness that must have been a little hungry and ready for dinner get up and start to walk toward the herd. The second lioness didn't make it 5 steps before the closest animals in the herd were on full alert and just a few steps later, there was a stampede, all in unison.
How can this help us?
First, we can clear our energy before we go play with our horses (or our families for that matter). Really be present with our feelings. Are we pushing out negative energies or are we calm and centered? It is so important to respect our relationship with our horses and ourselves enough to be aware of our energy. Our horses love to be with us and help us through things but it shouldn't be like that all the time. We can work on clearing our energy so we can just be with them.
Second, we can focus on where we are headed. When scary stuff comes up, I am the first to jump. I am working to focus on where I am heading and ignore all the scary stuff (unless the fear is real). I have been surprised at how this one small change has be more confident in all I am doing. I am also finding that the more I focus and build my confidence, it is like a wonderful snowball, filling me up with more and more confidence. I am also finding that the more I focus while riding, the less my horses spook at anything.
The third thing that has really been helping me is Hypnotherapy. I was a skeptic but now that it has changed so many things in my life for the better, I am loving being able to help others with this great tool. If you are interested in finding out if this would be a good fit for you, click here!
My palms were sweating, and I was having trouble breathing. My mind was racing, was I ready, could I do this, what was I thinking competing at 1.2M jumpers? My anxiety was at the peak! I did it anyway and loved it. Once I got started, the anxiety melted away into the fun. Like many of you, we feel anxiety and we step up and do it anyway. I know, there are times we let the anxiety get the best of us and we don't do it, but there are those times when we overcome and have fun.
Struggling with anxiety seems to be increasing and we are not sure what to do and that causes more anxiety. Here are my three tips to start taking charge of the anxiety you feel and stepping into confidence again.
1. Forgive yourself. This one may sound a little strange, but it is empowering. When we forgive ourselves for the things triggering our anxiety and for our anxiety itself, the weight starts to lift from our shoulders. We start to feel a little bit lighter. Feel a little (or a lot in some cases) better.
2. Lift up your head and shoulders. I realized that I was hunched over, trying to walk around the horse show in a fetal position. When anxiety builds, I shrink. It is amazing how much better you feel when you just sit a little taller, walk a little taller. Try it now. Just lift up your head and shoulders, breathe a little deeper and feel the confidence start to flow through you. Move your shoulders and head around a little and see if you can get just a bit more lift and a bit more confidence.
3. Know that you are created for more. We were not created to walk around or sit all hunched over. We were not created to let anxiety fill us up and hold us back. We were not created to carry that heavy burden of anxiety. We were created for more. Find that spark, that passion, that keeps you striving to leave the anxiety behind and step into confidence. You were created for more!
We all need a little extra help sometimes to lift the burden of anxiety from our shoulders. The journey to reclaiming your confidence doesn’t have to be taken alone. Just as you’ve faced your fears and stepped up to challenges, there are powerful tools available to support you along the way.
Hypnotherapy is one of those transformative tools. Ready to discover how it can help you lift the weight and unlock your potential? Click the link below to schedule a free consultation. Remember, you were created for more!
