How to get over horse riding fear depends on what type of fear you are feeling. When I first heard this, it made so much sense to really delve into what type of fear I was feeling and base the answer on the type of fear.
The first type is real fear. This is the fear I feel when my horse starts bucking or rearing. This is the type of fear when I am riding along and see a poisonous snake. This is the type of fear when I am riding along, and a mountain lion drops onto the tail of my horse. All of these fears I have experienced first-hand. The answer to getting over this type of fear is to take action. In these moments, I have to "DO" something. If my horse is bucking, I have to get her to stop. A snake, I need to go around it. The mountain lion, I had to hang on for dear life until I got home. Action is required.
The second type of fear is perceived fear. This is when riding along and seeing what looks like a poisonous snake ahead and it is a tree limb. This is saddling up and having the wind pick up and blowing the trees around. This is having the horse slip and thinking they are bucking. This type of fear requires thinking, evaluation, determination if the fear is real and necessary. If the snake turns out to be a tree branch, no action necessary. With the wind blowing, adjust the ride to stay out from under trees that might have branches falling. Feel the horse and realize that it wasn't a buck but just the horse slipping. In all of these, action may or may not need to be taken but it isn't immediate.
The third type of fear and the one we practice the most, is imaginary fear. This is the "What if's". This is the imagination running wild with all the things that might happen. This robs us of our joy. This robs our horses of knowing that we are present. This is the one that we can overcome! If you are going to use your imagination, pick the "What If's" that you actually want! It takes practice but why not? What if my ride is glorious? What if my horse and I really connect on the ride and have a ton of fun? We get to pick and choose our what if's so why not pick the ones that we want to have happen?
If you have enjoyed hearing my thoughts on fear, you might enjoy my free guide: 3 Ways to Stop Panic
It is hard to breath, the sweat is pouring from your palms, the butterflies have taken over your tummy and you think up another excuse not to ride. Anxiety is real, anxiety is what kept us safe from all the dangers over the years.
But what if you do go ride, can your horse feel your anxiety? The answer is yes and her is my favorite way to explain how they feel it and why they feel it. Just like us, their life depends on feeling the anxiety around them to keep them safe.
Picture a herd of horses, grazing peacefully on the plain. A cougar walks by on the way to the stream to get a drink, the horses don't even raise their head. The cougar, is not a threat, they can feel it.
Picture the same herd, grazing peacefully, when the cougar decides to hunt. The cougar will give off a tension, an energy of the hunt. The horses will feel that change, and RUN.
Same cougar, same horses, same place, but completely different energy from the cougar and the horses life depends on knowing that. The herd survival also depends on the first horse, feeling that energy, alerting the rest of the herd with fear and anxiety. The horses in the herd are completely in tune with the feeling of the other horses and we become the herd leader so our energy is even more important for them to feel.
This is one of the reasons the advice, "fake it until you make it", rarely works with horses. We can put on a brave face but they can feel the breathing change, the sweating, the butterflies, they feel it and their instinct is to run.
Mindset is so important for an amazing relationship with our horses. I talk a lot more about mindset in my book. Click here if you would like to check it out!
Feeling lost with your anxiety and fear is hard. The feelings of not being good enough, not being able to ride, letting fear get in the way, and most importantly, knowing that your horse is feeling your anxiety, are the hardest feelings ever.
We forget what it felt like to ride in joy. We forget the amazing feelings of the saddle and the motion of the horse. The shaking, holding our breath, and just all the things that take over with anxiety feel like they possess us. All of these feelings are natural and normal with fear and anxiety.
There is something we can do about it. Forgiveness. Take some time to forgive yourself. This was so hard for me. I kept going back to all the things I did wrong, not only with the accident, but also with letting my health go, my flexibility diminish, and the anxiety controlling me. I had to forgive all of this.
I made a list of all the things. I hate to admit it, but there was a lot on the list I was carrying around on my shoulders. I started at the top of the list and started forgiving myself for each thing on the list. It didn't mean I was forgetting, it just felt good to know I had made mistakes, I was going to do better, and I could go to my heart and forgive me.
Forgiveness looks different for everyone but here is a sample of what I worked through and how I felt.
I missed the signs of a horse in pain before my accident. I carried this heavy weight with me, it must have been terrifying for him. I forgive myself. I did not know he was in pain. I forgive myself. I did not mean to hurt him or cause him pain. I forgive myself. I learned and have a pre-ride checklist so it never happens again. Feeling this forgiveness, was a weight lifted off my shoulders and with the checklist, it removes anxiety that it will happen again.
Do you have things you need to forgive yourself for?
That terror of the horse going up, first the head, then the neck and shoulders follow, then at the peak, the tipping point, you realize that the horse is going over and there is nothing you can do about it. The crash and the pain and just knowing you are dead or dying. Then the anxiety and fear set in that it will happen again.
When the head starts to go up, or the horse speeds up on its own, or any number of other triggers, the panic takes off in your heart and body. The fear robs you of all the joy from riding. You spent hundreds of hours enjoying riding and now, you are just waiting for the next buck, the next rear, the next crash to the ground.
This is specifically talking about panicking when your horse is being fine, you are not in real danger. Panic attacks are real. The first thing is to practice before you get on your horse. Make sure you can amp up your stress level and know how to calm yourself back down. Not every solution works for every person so practicing getting stressed and then calming down again before getting on will help you know what helps you the most.
The things that have helped me is Breathing and knowing what breathing techniques work for me. The second is to know my comfort zone, go to the edge, take a few steps more and then call it done. If my comfort zone is riding to the head of the trail, I might go 10 feet down the trail, but I would not do a 3-hour trail ride. Know what your comfort zone is. The third thing is to practice on the horse. Set up things that trigger your panic in a controlled environment and practice remaining calm or panicking and then coming back to calm.
I detail out 3 Ways to Stop Panic in my latest guide if you are interested in learning more, Click Here!
Fill yourself up with courage! This sounds so simple and yet, it can be so complex. It is the only way I know to get rid of horse-riding anxiety.
These three hints, get your anxiety calmed down and your courage ramped up.
The first is to look back through all your rides and pick the memories of the best ones. See if you can put yourself back to that day, fill yourself up with those feelings from that day. Soak up those amazing feelings and remember as many details as you can. Now, for the really cool thing, when you can really FEEL that day, Picture yourself, closing your hand around the reins and feel that feeling into your closed hand. Practice this, over and over. Close your hand, feel the feeling. This is known as Anchoring, or at least, the way I do anchoring. Then when you are riding, and close your hand on the rein, you can feel that feeling from the joyous day.
The second thing is breathing and most importantly, exhaling. This is a great one to practice any time you are feeling your anxiety start to rise. Exhale, as far as you can exhale and as slow as you can exhale. Then take a big breath in through your nose and repeat a long slow exhale. So many times, when we start feeling anxiety, we hold our breath, or take shallow breaths and the best thing we can do is exhale. Singing is GREAT for a long exhale. Sing as much as you can before breathing in.
The third thing I love to do is preparation. Figure out something you can do to "Simulate" that scary ride that gives you anxiety. I love riding a known trail around my pasture, and I prep it with scary things that I know are there. Plastic bags tied in a tree, pieces of hose laid out like a snake, or a rubber snake, a beach ball placed right around a blind corner. You can move these things around and practice with your horse to look ahead, ignore the scary things and keep your focus on the horizon. You can practice bringing back the anchored feelings with closing your hand on the reins. You can practice the breathing and/or singing.
These three things have given me so much confidence and the ability to practice my confidence.
