When I saw the horse flipping over on top of me, the feeling of falling and seeing that he was going to crush me, left me mentally in much worse shape than I was physically. The fear hung out with me like a dear friend. Like many of you, we have things happen that we cannot control, and the fear remains, long after the danger has passed.
Honor your fear or it will explode to get your attention.
This can be so hard to learn. We are taught to push down our fear, just buck up and do it, get on with it, and we end up feeling so alone in our fear. That feeling that nobody else understands. The hardest part is realizing that we can't just push that fear down. We can honor that fear, the precious fear that is just trying to keep us safe. It means well. It is doing its job. It doesn't know that we are no longer in danger and can make different decisions.
You might be wondering how. Here are my three tips for honoring your fear and returning to joy:
1. Really say thank you to your fear. Feel that it has helped you to stay safe. Take some time with this and let your feelings flow. If you enjoy journaling, put it down on paper. If you are like me and writing isn't your thing, close your eyes and just really breath into the fear, feel gratitude, feel yourself saying thank you.
2. When you start to feel the fear come up, practice amazing "What If's". There isn't anything that says we have to stay in negative what if's. We can pick and choose new ones, ones that fill us up with passion, desire, and joy!
3. Use tools. Whether it be checklists, breathing techniques, calming oils, CBD, preparation, music, or something else. Find out what works for you. Tools have such a bad stigma but really they can help us keep fear at bay and really let it know that we have this, we are good, and not in danger.
If you would like a little help on your "What if's", here is a short video on my thoughts and a little challenge! Click here.
I went 15 years without falling and then competing in a big jumper class, I fell off over a jump. I was talking to my young friend about it and she realized, the last time I had fallen was before she was born and we just paused, and really connected in that moment. We all have the chance of falling or having an accident of any kind, may not even involve horses.
Fortunately, horses have the remarkable ability to help us conquer this fear and unlock our true potential. Let's explore how horses enable us to overcome the fear of falling and discover a new level of self-confidence.
1. Building Trust and Connection:
Horses are known for their intuitive nature and ability to form strong bonds with humans. When working with horses, we learn that trust is the foundation of any successful relationship. Through patient and consistent interaction, we develop a deep sense of trust with these majestic creatures. This trust-building process helps us overcome our fear of falling, as it allows us to relinquish control and rely on the strength and stability of the horse.
2. Developing Balance and Coordination:
Riding a horse requires a certain degree of balance and coordination. As we navigate the challenges of riding, we not only physically learn how to stay centered and in control but also mentally build the confidence needed to face the fear of falling. Horses teach us to embrace our body's natural power and work together in harmony to maintain balance, thus empowering us to overcome the fear that restricts our growth. They also encourage us to improve our health to be better riders!
3. Enhancing Self-Awareness:
Horses possess an ability to mirror our emotions and behavior, providing immediate feedback on our actions. Through this awareness, we can address and work through these emotions, gradually building our self-confidence in the face of falling. Courage pennies is a great way to track this amazing process of gaining courage! Soak up pennies every time you feel confident and use a penny or two when you have fear creap in. It is just a good visual to help!
4. Learning to Trust One's Intuition:
Horse riders begin to tap into their intuitive senses—gut feelings and instinctive responses to different situations. Trusting our intuition is crucial for overcoming the fear of falling, especially using this before we get on. Making sure everything with us and our horse is just right. It enables us to make split-second decisions and respond effectively. As we become more attuned to our intuition, we gain a deep sense of self-trust and confidence, further bolstering our ability to manage the fear of falling.
If you haven't read my book on getting over fear, it is a great process that helps anyone facing fear, know what steps to take to find courage again! You can get it here: Rise from Fear to COURAGE!
I walked into the kitchen to get.....to get......ummmmm....I know I came in here for a reason.
Or worse, you see a friend walking up to you and their name is....ummmmm....?
Like many of you, our car keys get misplaced, we know we paid that bill, we know that person's name, we know what we came into this room for, it is right on the tip of our tongue, but somehow it escapes us.
I believe that losing my dad with short term memory loss was a gift. It set me on a mission to figure out how to improve my memory.
Looking at our day as a whole, we forget billions of things. Are you shocked? I was. Do you remember feeling the floor as you got out of bed? Do you remember the toothbrush, cleaning each tooth? And the list goes on. It is fascinating to think about the huge amount of things we forget every single day. How do we choose what to remember?
Since I have been on this mission, my memory has improved. Here are the things that have helped the memory get stronger:
1. Staying focused in the moment. The more mindfulness becomes a practice, the better the memory becomes. We stop thinking about the past, thinking about what needs to be done, and we just immerse in the now and it is surprising that people's names pop up in our mind, we remember why we walked into the room, we know where we set out keys down because there was intention behind it.
2. Cutting out toxic foods and adding nutrition. This is different for everyone but I know for me, sugar and flour are big brain fog contributors and I was not getting the right nutrition. I didn't know this all caused brain fog but I do now. In fact, I didn't even know I was in a fog until it cleared. My Sudoku times improved 60% and it is so cool to have an actual measurement!
3. My favorite is memory games! There are so many games out there to improve memory. I am still looking into these but so far, I know they are helping me to remember more things in each day, well at least the important things.
We can all get a little bit healthier, practice a little more mindfulness, and get better with age, if we want to. I don't know if you have ever seen anyone lose their memory as they aged but it was one of the most painful things I have seen for them. My dad knew that he should know things but didn't. The anger and frustration was torture for him, from the inside.
If you would like to explore a little more about this, remember to click this link to get my 7 Days to Mindfulness!
We can get STUCK in memories of the past, replaying events over and over in our minds. While small amounts of reflection can be beneficial, dwelling on the past can prevent us from being fully present.
Just like driving a car, constantly looking in the rearview mirror can cause accidents and prevent us from enjoying the journey and reaching our desired destination.
So how do we break free from these mental cycles and focus on the present?
1. Acknowledge and accept:
The first step to freeing ourselves from the grip of the past is acknowledge that it cannot be changed. Similar to driving, it's essential to accept that whatever happened behind us no longer affects the present moment. Embrace the idea that the past has already served its purpose as a teacher, offering valuable insights and lessons.
2. Practice mindfulness:
Just as a driver must remain attentive to the road ahead, practicing mindfulness enables us to shift our focus to the present. Mindfulness involves consciously bringing our awareness to the current moment, free from judgment or attachment. By being fully present, we can appreciate the beauty of life and let go of repetitive thoughts about the past.
3. Release the emotional burden:
Like baggage in the trunk of a car, our emotional attachment to past events can weigh us down. To move forward, it's vital to release negative emotions tied to the past. One powerful technique is visualizing packing up the memories in a suitcase and setting them down on a train depot platform and get on the train, leaving the baggage behind.
4. Set clear intentions:
Having a clear focus on our present goals brings purpose and direction to our lives. Just as a driver sets a destination on their GPS, establishing clear intentions helps us navigate through life without getting stuck in the past. Write down your dreams, and the steps required to achieve them. This practice will cultivate a forward-thinking mindset and keep your focus anchored in the present moment.
5. Practice gratitude:
Gratitude is a transformative practice that helps us shift our perspective from what went wrong in the past to what is going right in the present. Every day, take a moment to reflect on things you are grateful for. Embracing gratitude allows positive emotions to flood your being, making it easier to let go of past grievances and embrace the abundance around you.
Just as driving requires our attention on the road ahead, living our lives to the fullest demands an unwavering focus on the present moment. By letting go of the past, practicing mindfulness, and setting clear intentions, we can liberate ourselves from the mental loops that hold us back. Remember, the journey of life is meant to be enjoyed, and I am here to support you, every step of the way. So, buckle up, embrace the present, and let your dreams drive you forward!
If you want a little help, grab my free Mindfulness guide here!
I walked into the kitchen and saw the sink full of dirty dishes. Immediately, I started the "why me?" thinking and the negative thoughts started to take over my emotions. I started to feel really down, like a steam roller had rolled right over me and squeezed the joy out.
Like many of you, we let what we observe, dictate how we feel. Whether it be chores that have to be done, mucking stalls, cleaning, feeding, cooking, laundry, changing oil in the truck, etc.
I believe we are in control of how we feel, maybe not what we have to do, but how we feel about doing it. There, I said it, we are in control.
That belief gives us power!
Here are three ways to let this work for you to fill you with joy, even doing chores.
1. When doing chores, reframe them into something that fills you with joy. Take the dirty sink of dishes. Changing thoughts to wow, that was an amazing meal and tasted so good. Just that small change starts the process to feeling better. What if we expand on it. There was so much love put into making that meal and we are blessed to have food to fill us up and nourish us. We laughed and connected while we ate. Just some samples and it can be done with any chore or task and just takes a little practice.
2. While doing chores, dance, sing, move, put on amazing music, listen to a great book on Audible, etc. Find something that fills you with joy and do that while you do the chores. P.S. Singing is supposed to help prevent dementia and is great for the brain, if you are like me, just make sure only the animals can hear you......
3. Find someone to do the chores with you or just to talk and share about what you are doing to enjoy your chores. A buddy system to joy. I tried it with the horses, but they just pooped on the freshly cleaned bedding!!!! I got a really good chuckle out of that one! Pick someone and cheer each other on!
Here is a free guide that goes along with finding your joy! GET YOUR JOY TODAY!!!
