If you read the Harry Potter Books or saw the movies, there is a great representation of this concept! Turning Boggarts into something funny. Your greatest fear into something to laugh about. The spell, Riddikulus, all by itself makes me laugh as it reduces fear into hysterics!!!!
My Boggart is a horse rearing and falling over on me. My spell is for ACME's Wile-E-Coyote and the trap he has set to get the Road Runner. It is a horse wearing ballet slippers that can dance like the wind to make the Road Runner stop and the horse flips onto the Road Runner catching him. I am Wile-E-Coyote and of course I get squished by the horse but then pop right back up to do it all over again. This makes me laugh about my accident! RIDDIKULUS!!!!!!
When we share some of our most terrifying memories with friends, as they did that day in Hogwarts, the fear loses it's edge, often dissolving into laughter. There's a powerful reason for this, and it's the secret sauce behind my latest podcast episode, "Laughing Your Way Out of Fear."
Fear has a way of paralyzing us, keeping us from fully enjoying life or pursuing our dreams. But what if we could transform those fear-inducing memories into something less threatening, even funny? That's where the magic of cartooning comes in.
Picture this: Your biggest fear, that moment that makes your palms sweat just thinking about it, reimagined as a silly cartoon. Suddenly, that menacing shadow becomes a bumbling character with oversized feet. The thunderous voice that once terrified you? Now it's coming from a tiny mouse with a megaphone. That feeling of fear bubbles up as a good old fashioned belly laugh.
By visualizing our fears in this exaggerated, cartoon-like manner, we're actually rewiring our brain's response to these memories. We're taking control of the narrative, turning ourselves from victims into the directors of our own mental comedy show.
Remember, laughter isn't just about entertainment – it's a powerful tool for healing and growth. By finding the humor in our fears, we're not dismissing them, but rather disarming them. We're saying, "I see you, fear, and I choose to rewrite this story." I give you permission to rewrite your memories! Rem
So, are you ready to turn your fear memories into cartoons and laugh your way to a braver, more confident you? Just remember, RIDDIKULUS!!!!!
If you would like to hear my thoughts, it is on my Turn Riding Fear Around Podcast on most platforms or you watch it on Rumble or Youtube! Watch here!
One of my favorite quotes, from my Hypnosis Instructor Ali Campbell, "We are not afraid of what we think we are afraid of, we are afraid of what we think!" is powerful. You can't just rush through reading it. Especially with fear around horses.
I thought I was a afraid of a horse rearing and falling over on top of me. I believed that. When a horse would lift it head, I would get off, FAST. After hearing Ali, and really sitting with it, I realized he is 100% right. I was not afraid of a horse falling on me. I was afraid of my thoughts of a horse falling on me. It only happened once in reality. I have ridden thousands of hours. I have jumped hundreds of jumps. I was afraid of my thoughts, not the horses. The horses brought me joy.
Take a moment and really think about your fear and the thoughts about your fear. Then look at your thoughts versus reality, in this moment. To make it simple in my example, fear of rearing was my fear. But reality, it was my thoughts about "what if" the horse reared that I was afraid of. The horse wasn't even rearing. Heck, I could be sitting on the couch and think about the rearing and get sweaty palms. That is a fear of my thoughts, not a fear of the horse rearing.
The great news is that now we have awareness. Once we are aware, we can take action to resolve.
Here are three things that can help us overcome the fear of our thoughts. For me, this feels a lot less scary now that I know I am just afraid of my thoughts.
- Journaling exercises. Put pen to paper. Write how you want to feel, what you want to be thinking about, the thoughts about wonderful rides.
- Mindfulness. This is one of my favorites. If we are keeping our thoughts in the present moment, unless we are in the middle of some disaster, we can dissolve the fear. Stay present, in this moment. It is all we really have.
- Visualization techniques for positive riding experiences. Put all your senses into visualizing your best rides. What are you seeing? What are you feeling? What are you hearing? What are you smelling? Describe your best ride in all the detail you can put into it.
I talk about my feelings around this quote in my latest podcast which you can watch on Rumble here:
I had no idea the weight of the fear I was carrying around, until one day when I had found my courage I felt light as a feather. It was a while after I was riding again, and it just filled me with joy. Like many of you, we carry the weight of fear without even realizing it. I believe we can all find our courage again, when we choose to!
The weight of the fear takes a toll on our health. We were not designed to stay in freeze, fight, or flight mode. That stress wreaks havoc on our systems. It manifested for me in migraines and horrible "female" issues. It also takes a toll on our emotions and mental health. For me, I felt fear in a lot of areas of my life. Dentist, riding in a car as a passenger, and definitely with the horses. Removing the weight freed up all those things! Confidence filled me in all areas of my life. I was surprised.
Here are the steps that really helped me:
1. Changing my memories of my accident. Nobody said I had to remember it as it happened, I could choose to remember all the great things about that day.
2. Reframing negative thoughts. Become a master and taking those negative thoughts running around and switch them to wonderful thoughts. You get to choose your thoughts.
3. Gradual exposure to horses and riding. Find a process for courage that works for you. I look at this as a video game. You do a little bit and then go back to the start and then do a little bit more and then go back to the start. Each time, you are getting better and better and the fear won't have room inside of you anymore.
4. Building a support system. You are not alone! I remember how alone I felt in my fear. Even the trainers didn't understand my fear. I created a support group for all of us searching for courage. (Join free group here!)
5. Focusing on personal growth and resilience. Keep going. If you want the joy of riding again, you can make it happen. We are all cheering you on and I am here to support you.
To hear about overcoming triggers, my Blue car/Red car theory, you can hear it on my latest podcast: Listen now!
For fearful riders, building trust with a horse can be both daunting and rewarding. One of the most powerful ways to establish this bond is through grooming. It’s not just about cleanliness; grooming fosters a deeper connection and understanding between rider and horse.
Grooming sessions provide a safe space for both horse and rider to relax and communicate non-verbally. As you gently brush your horse’s coat, you begin to understand their body language and responses. This mutual interaction builds confidence and trust on both sides. Ask them to move a foot or pick it up. Gently have them step away from you so you can reach a different spot. Play with them while brushing them.
For the rider experiencing fear or anxiety, grooming offers a soothing routine that grounds them in the present moment. The rhythmic strokes of the brush and the horse’s calming presence create a sense of peace and stability. As you focus on caring for your horse, worries diminish, replaced by a sense of purpose and companionship.
Moreover, grooming allows riders to observe and appreciate their horse’s physical condition. By noticing subtle changes in the coat, skin, and muscles, riders become more attuned to their horse’s well-being. This awareness not only strengthens the bond but also enhances the rider’s ability to detect any potential health issues early on.
Beyond the physical benefits, grooming nurtures emotional connections. The quiet moments spent grooming encourage reflection and mindfulness, promoting a positive mindset before and after riding sessions. Over time, as trust grows between horse and rider through these shared experiences, fear diminishes, replaced by a sense of partnership and mutual respect.
I love putting a huge pile of good hay in front of the horse so they can feel satisfied and fill their belly while I groom. I can hear the soothing sounds of munching and smell the wonderful aroma of good hay. The horses can really relax with their head down while I groom.
This blog emphasizes the therapeutic and bonding aspects of grooming for fearful riders, aiming to reassure and inspire confidence through the simple yet profound act of caring for your horse.
Support is so important on our journey to courage. Nobody should feel alone. Join our great support group for some additional help and cheering for you. Join Group Here!
Imagine for a moment that you could see yourself through your horse’s eyes. What would your horse think of you as their rider? As their caretaker? Horses are incredibly perceptive animals, attuned to our emotions, actions, and routines. If they could speak, what changes would they suggest for a better partnership and a better "us"?
Firstly, horses love consistency. They thrive on routines that provide a sense of security and predictability. Keeping exercise schedules, and grooming rituals consistent can help them feel more relaxed and cooperative. So, if your horse could speak up, they might commend you for your punctuality and consistency in caring for them. On a side not, too much routine with feeding can increase stress. I feed at all different times so my horses are relaxed and not standing there waiting for food. If they were to comment, they would say, "oh hey, it is feeding time" instead of "where is she, she is late".
Horses also value empathy and understanding. They would want us to leave our monkey thoughts at home, we don't need them and they want us present with them, not stuck in our monkey brain. They might wish for more patience and sensitivity in handling. Horses are sensitive creatures, both physically and emotionally. They respond positively to gentle, calm interactions. Your horse might nudge you to be more aware of their body language and moods, urging you to adjust your approach accordingly. My horses have clearly told me that want me in charge. They can relax and don't have to be on guard when they know I am taking care of them and their surroundings. This was a hard one for me to see through their eyes. It wasn't about being kind or not, it was about them knowing my boundaries and that I would keep them safe no matter what and that required me to show them I am strong emotionally.
Furthermore, horses are athletes and partners, not just pets. They thrive on clear communication and respect. Your horse might suggest improvements in your communication skills, whether through refining your aids in riding or enhancing your ability to read their signals on the ground. Understanding their perspective can lead to a more harmonious and effective partnership.
Ultimately, if your horse could offer feedback, they might advocate for maintaining what already works well while refining areas where improvement is possible. They might cherish your reliability and care while gently nudging you towards deeper understanding and empathy. By putting yourself in your horse’s shoes, you can cultivate a relationship built on mutual trust, respect, and understanding—a partnership where both human and horse can thrive together.
For more on how I found my strength, I talk about it a lot in my free fear to courage support group. I was so timid when I started and having this group has really helped others find their strength as well. Join us here.
