We often think “ready” will feel like a green light. Like one day we’ll wake up with total confidence, zero nerves, and a deep, calm sense of now is the time.
But it doesn’t usually happen like that.
Real “ready” is messy.
It can show up with doubt, shaky hands, or a swirl of nerves just thinking about tacking up. It doesn’t always come with clarity. It rarely feels perfect.
The truth is, real readiness doesn’t always feel good—it just means we’re willing.
Willing to feel uncomfortable.
Willing to show up even when our legs are trembling.
Willing to say, “I want this more than I want to keep hiding.”
Willing to show up even when our legs are trembling.
Willing to say, “I want this more than I want to keep hiding.”
We tell ourselves we’ll ride when we feel more prepared. After a few more lessons. After the weather changes. After the fear goes away.
But the secret no one tells us is that confidence often comes after the action.
We build it step by step—by doing the thing.
We grow into readiness by showing up for ourselves in the small moments: brushing our horse, walking to the arena, taking one deep breath before putting a foot in the stirrup.
Yes, it’s smart to prepare. But we don’t need perfection to begin. We just need a little willingness, and maybe a little faith.
So let’s ask ourselves gently:
What if we stopped waiting to feel ready… and decided we already are? - We have the Green LIGHT!
Because once we do, everything changes.
And just so you know—we don’t have to do this alone.
I’m right here, walking this road with you, and cheering us on every step of the way.
I’m right here, walking this road with you, and cheering us on every step of the way.
If you want to build your own "Green Light", set up a free Calm-Ride Strategy Call and we will create your Grean Light together!
The more I read the question from my coach, the more the tears welled up inside me. I didn’t want to let them fall. I didn’t want to really see the answer.
Not because the question or the answer was scary—but because I knew the moment I was honest about it, I would also see the solution. And once the solution was visible, I couldn’t keep hiding behind the stories I’d told myself. I couldn’t cling to the old excuses.
How many times do we do this? How many times do we hide in our excuses—or worse—blame others, blame our horses, blame the weather or the time or the age or the saddle that doesn’t fit quite right? I’ve done all of it.
But here’s what happened when I finally let the light in: I realized that naming what was really stopping me from riding meant there was nothing truly holding me back from riding. It was both terrifying and freeing.
At first, the truth felt heavy—like maybe it was too much. But then… something shifted. The little girl inside me, the one who used to ride for the sheer joy of it, started to stir. I could feel her again. That joy started to bubble up.
And just like that, I knew—I was free.
So now I want to ask you this same question. Make a little time for yourself today and ask, with an open heart:
“What is really stopping me from riding?”
Let yourself look. Let the tears come if they need to. Because once you have the answer, you also have the power.
And I promise—I’m right here, cheering you on.
Let me know if you need more help and support for this. I love being a courage coach and helping others work through this when they need a little extra. Calm Ride Strategy Chat
For most of my life, I would have said: absolutely not.
Panic attacks come when they come, and there's nothing you can do about it—right?
Panic attacks come when they come, and there's nothing you can do about it—right?
At least, that’s what I believed. Until I started asking deeper questions.
My First Memory of Panic
The first panic attack I remember happened when I was 3 or 4. We were at LAX, waiting for my dad to arrive from a trip. I looked up and couldn’t find my mom anywhere.
In a flash of desperation, I spotted my dad—or so I thought—and ran to grab his leg. I clung to it with everything I had, eyes squeezed shut, thinking I was safe. When I opened my eyes, it wasn’t my dad. It was a complete stranger.
But I can still feel that panic in my body today. Being lost was the worst thing imaginable.
But I can still feel that panic in my body today. Being lost was the worst thing imaginable.
At that age, I couldn’t stop the panic. But now? I’ve learned that I can catch it before it spirals.
Does Panic Help?
This question might sound strange, especially if you’re in the thick of it. But when you’re calm, try asking yourself:
“Has panic ever helped me?”
For me, the answer was surprising: yes... and no.
What Panic Gave Me
Once I looked closely, I realized panic did give me something: movement.
In a state of panic, I take action. I move. I do something—and sometimes that’s incredibly useful.
In a state of panic, I take action. I move. I do something—and sometimes that’s incredibly useful.
So I kept that part.
When panic rises, I now intentionally choose action before I freeze.
When panic rises, I now intentionally choose action before I freeze.
What Panic Took from Me
Not all of it helped. The frantic energy, the loss of control, the freezing—those weren’t helpful.
After a car accident I was in, that frozen feeling nearly kept me trapped. It wasn’t until I moved through the panic that I could escape the wreckage.
So, I learned to visualize letting go of what didn’t serve me:
- Dropping the frantic parts into a lake.
- Sending the fear off in a balloon.
- Tossing the overwhelm off a cliff.
Rewriting My Panic Response
By analyzing my panic response—piece by piece—I stopped seeing it as something terrifying. I saw it as a system I could rewire.
Now, when panic shows up, I know:
- What to keep (movement, clarity, urgency).
- What to let go (frantic spirals, freezing, fear of fear).
This shift has helped me prevent full-blown panic attacks. Not by avoiding them—but by understanding and reshaping them.
Your Turn
If you’ve ever had a panic attack, is there one beneficial thing you’ve taken from the experience? Maybe it’s awareness. Or energy. Or motivation. I’d love to hear what it is—because there’s so much, we can learn from what we once feared.
If you’ve ever had a panic attack, is there one beneficial thing you’ve taken from the experience? Maybe it’s awareness. Or energy. Or motivation. I’d love to hear what it is—because there’s so much, we can learn from what we once feared.
If you’ve ever sat in the saddle and suddenly felt your chest tighten, your thoughts race, or your brain says, “what if something goes wrong?”—you’re not alone.
Confidence in riding doesn’t come from perfect weather, the right boots, or a well-behaved horse (though those do help!). It comes from how we handle the thoughts that pop up—especially the ones that make us doubt ourselves.
What’s the secret to building real riding confidence?
It starts with recognizing that self-doubt doesn’t mean something is wrong.
It often means you’re growing, stretching, or returning to riding after a setback.
That inner dialogue—the one that whispers things like:
- “You’re not ready.”
- “You’re not as good as other riders.”
- “You should just give up.”
...isn’t proof you’re failing. It’s proof that your brain is trying to protect you from a perceived threat—even if the “threat” is just looking less than perfect.
But confidence isn’t about silencing the inner critic forever.
It’s about not giving it the reins.
It’s about not giving it the reins.
Here are 3 practical ways to build your riding confidence:
- Name your inner critic—and then disagree with it.
Give it a silly name. Hear what it says and answer back with truth. "Thanks Nerdie, but I AM ready for this!" - Visualize successful rides.
Your brain doesn’t know the difference between imagined success and real experience. Visualizing calm, smooth rides helps your nervous system believe they’re possible—and gets you one step closer. - Celebrate courage, not just outcomes.
Rode for 10 minutes even when you were nervous? That’s courage.
Mounted up after a long break? That’s courage.
Confidence is built in these small, brave moments—not in perfection.
Every rider—even the most experienced—has moments of doubt. The key is learning to ride with the doubt.
Want more support letting go of self-doubt and reconnecting with your confidence?
Tune into the latest podcast episode: Your Inner Critic Doesn’t Get to Ride: Listen Here!
Tune into the latest podcast episode: Your Inner Critic Doesn’t Get to Ride: Listen Here!
Let’s keep riding forward—one confident step at a time.
It was such a simple thing—I was putting water into my hot water pot.
And yet, I found myself pushing on the handle, hard, as if that would somehow make the water come out faster. It was totally subconscious. I have no idea how many years I’ve been doing this—pushing, hurrying, rushing—without even noticing.
But in that moment, I did notice. And it was shocking.
It instantly made me reflect: where else am I trying to speed through life?
We’ve all done it—tapped the steering wheel at a red light to try to “will” it green, scarfed down fast food so we could move on to the next task, or tried to multitask a dozen things at once. We’ve all been caught in the race.
But life is not meant to be raced through.
It’s meant to be enjoyed. Savored. Lived.
That old cliché, “Stop and smell the roses,” was spot on. But it’s not just about roses—it’s about the whole garden of life.
You know who really understands this? Horses.
Sure, mine sometimes race around the pasture, but most of the time, they’re just... chill. Grazing. Resting. Breathing. They wouldn’t care one bit how fast the water goes into the hot water pot.
The big question: How do I slow down and still accomplish everything?
What happened next surprised me.
I did slow down. I let the tension melt from my body. I relaxed.
And then... I accomplished more. I felt energized instead of drained. Calm instead of chaotic.
We don’t realize how much energy we waste living in stress mode. That same energy, when freed, can be used to actually live our life.
A Few Keys to Slowing Down:
- Notice what stresses you out. Write them down. Awareness is the first step.
- Tune into your body. Where do you feel tension? Scrunch up your muscles and then release them. Do this a few times—it feels amazing.
- Practice what we teach our horses. When our horses are stressed, we notice. We help them relax. Let’s turn that same care toward ourselves.
You don’t have to race through life to get things done. In fact, slowing down might just be the secret to doing it all—with more joy, more peace, and a lot less stress.
Check out my podcast if you want to hear my thoughts on this subject in "Permission
to Go Slow", Episode 109 of Turn Riding Fear Around.
