I had no idea the weight of the fear I was carrying around, until one day when I had found my courage I felt light as a feather. It was a while after I was riding again, and it just filled me with joy. Like many of you, we carry the weight of fear without even realizing it. I believe we can all find our courage again, when we choose to!
The weight of the fear takes a toll on our health. We were not designed to stay in freeze, fight, or flight mode. That stress wreaks havoc on our systems. It manifested for me in migraines and horrible "female" issues. It also takes a toll on our emotions and mental health. For me, I felt fear in a lot of areas of my life. Dentist, riding in a car as a passenger, and definitely with the horses. Removing the weight freed up all those things! Confidence filled me in all areas of my life. I was surprised.
Here are the steps that really helped me:
1. Changing my memories of my accident. Nobody said I had to remember it as it happened, I could choose to remember all the great things about that day.
2. Reframing negative thoughts. Become a master and taking those negative thoughts running around and switch them to wonderful thoughts. You get to choose your thoughts.
3. Gradual exposure to horses and riding. Find a process for courage that works for you. I look at this as a video game. You do a little bit and then go back to the start and then do a little bit more and then go back to the start. Each time, you are getting better and better and the fear won't have room inside of you anymore.
4. Building a support system. You are not alone! I remember how alone I felt in my fear. Even the trainers didn't understand my fear. I created a support group for all of us searching for courage. (Join free group here!)
5. Focusing on personal growth and resilience. Keep going. If you want the joy of riding again, you can make it happen. We are all cheering you on and I am here to support you.
To hear about overcoming triggers, my Blue car/Red car theory, you can hear it on my latest podcast: Listen now!
It was a beautiful day for a ride and I decided to just push through my fear and ride anyway. It was one of those days where things shift inside of you and something wakes up. I got on, shaking and sweaty palms determined to ride and my horse was good but I could feel tension building in her as she was feeling me. It hit me like a ton of bricks. It was fair to her to have to carry my fear!
Horses being prey animals depend on feeling the energy around them. It is instinctual for them to stay alive. I was not honoring my horse by putting all the fearful energy on her back. I got off of her. I knew I had to do more work so that she would not have to carry that weight and fear. I had to reduce my fear and here are 3 tips for doing just that:
1. Prepraration - Once I really looked at my preparation, safety equipment, mindset, physical fitness and the horse's preparation - are they calm grooming, quiet, relaxed, no tension or swishing tail, my confidence shot up. I could now see before getting on if it was a good day for both of us.
2. Become your favorite trainer - In my mind, I become one of my favorite trainers as soon as I get to the barn. What would they do? How would they feel? They would not let the horse walk over them; they would expect the horse to be quiet with them. They would be clear asking the horse for something. This really helps my courage. I just leave me at home for a bit.
3. Focus in the moment - The more you can focus in the moment you are in, what are you doing, how are you feeling and what is your horse doing, how is your horse feeling, in that moment you will start to understand the subtitles before something happens. The days to ride and the days to play instead of riding. You will notice tension in the neck or flank, or you will notice deep quiet breathing and relaxed muscles. The more you are in the moment, the lower your anxiety and fear will be.
There are so many things we can do to overcome our fear and nerves. I talk about a few other things to help in my latest podcast (on most podcast platforms) if you would like to hear more! PODCAST
The sun on my face, the breeze in the mane, feeling the horse beneath me, partnering with me on adventures, whether it is in the arena jumping or out on the trails, the feelings of connection with the horse are precious and unique. Horseback riding provides a wealth of psychological benefits that contribute to overall well-being and mental health. From reducing stress and anxiety to boosting confidence and self-esteem, the psychological advantages of horseback riding are both profound and diverse.
Here are 4 ways horseback riding boots mental health:
1. A key psychological benefit of horseback riding is its ability to promote relaxation and reduce stress. I know, for those of us with fear, it doesn't seem like it, but remember back to your first rides and how good you felt after you dismounted. Spending time with horses and engaging in the rhythmic motion of riding can have a calming effect on the nervous system, lowering cortisol levels and inducing a state of relaxation. The peacefulness of nature and the bond formed between rider and horse further enhance this sense of tranquility, providing a welcome escape from the pressures of daily life.
2. Riding is a great way to alleviate symptoms of anxiety and depression. The physical activity involved in riding stimulates the release of endorphins, neurotransmitters known as the body's natural mood elevators, your feel good stuff. Riding makes you feel better.
3. The sense of accomplishment and mastery that comes with mastering new riding skills can also boost self-confidence and self-esteem, helping riders feel more empowered and in control of their lives. I know for me, the more I have worked on my courage riding, the more confident and the better I feel in all areas of my life.
4. Horseback riding fosters a sense of connection and companionship, both with the horse and with fellow riders. The bond formed between rider and horse is based on trust, mutual respect, and nonverbal communication, providing a unique form of emotional support and companionship. Riding in a group setting also fosters a sense of camaraderie and belonging, allowing riders to connect with others who share their passion for horses and the outdoors. My communication with my husband has improved with my improved communications with my horses. I understand so much more about two way communication and more important, listening!
Overall, the psychological benefits of horseback riding are numerous and far-reaching. Whether it's reducing stress and anxiety, boosting confidence and self-esteem, or fostering connections with others, horseback riding offers a holistic approach to mental well-being that enriches the lives of riders of all ages and abilities.
If you are looking for a great support community, join our group on fear and courage riding. We can help you with your fear or you can cheer us on as we gain our courage! Join Here!
The better the balance, the higher the confidence! Imagine feeling solid standing on the ground. You feel invincible standing there with your feet slightly apart, maybe one in front of the other. How can I improve my balance while riding using that feeling from standing on the ground?
I love Alicia Dickenson when she talks about the 80/20 rule. 80% of your weight in your stirrups, feeling like you are standing on the ground and 20% throughout the rest of your legs. When I tried this, I was shocked at how solid I felt. I add in the additional putting one foot slightly ahead of the other foot which adds to my feeling of balance on the horse. By keeping weight in the feet, and feeling like you are standing on the ground, your horse can move and even play under you and it doesn't throw you off balance like it does with the weight in your seat. A friend once said it is like sitting on a loaf of bread without smashing it.
The second area of focus for me, especially if I have not been riding for a while is to "ride" an exercise ball. I love playing with my feet, my weight, moving and movements while on the ball. I can feel a posting trot or a canter motion and if I fall off, I only have a couple feet to go! Bonus!
The next area that I love to play with is my balance on one foot or the other foot. I will stand on one foot, bending that knee and straightening while swinging my other leg all around until I feel really confident standing on one foot. I love doing this while doing dishes or folding laundry or even while grooming my horse. There are so many times I can really play standing on one leg. If you want an extra challenge, do this one with your eyes closed. Make sure you are safe and have something to hold on to though, it takes some getting used to.
I feel so much more confident in the saddle by implementing the above! If you resonated with the above and would really like to take it to the next level, here is my guide, 5 ways to feel like a kid again!
My accident happened when I didn't check anything before getting on. I groomed the horse and didn't notice that he was in pain. I tacked up the horse, not noticing that he was tense. I got on the horse and when my butt hit the saddle, I knew I was in trouble. In seconds, the horse flipped over backwards on top of me. This was one hundred percent my fault. At any point in the process getting on, I could have recognized that something was drastically wrong. I was enjoying the campground, the great weather, the late afternoon sunshine. I was enjoying the sounds of the woodpeckers in the trees. I was completely absorbed in my surroundings and just didn't connect with and pay attention to my partner, the horse I was getting on. It was almost like it was a couch was going to hang out on instead of a partner.
Let's rewind and see what could have been done different.
1. The horse had been bit by a black widow on the neck. As I was grooming, if I had been paying attention to how the horse felt as I groomed, I would have noticed any and all issues. Sore areas, bumps, bruises, ets. The horse had just stepped off the trailer after hauling to the camp ground and he had been bit in the trailer. He was in pain. Significant pain. Even subtle pain if I had been paying attention would have come to my attention before I put my butt in the saddle. (To hear a little about my story and what could have prevented, watch my video on this #1 key to prevention: Watch Here
2. As I was tacking up, I could have been observing the horses movements, his flexibility. I walk them when I am doing up the cinch. I do a little, walk, do a little more, walk. At any point, I could have seen that he was short strided, that he wasn't relaxed and loose, that he was tense, in his whole body and especially his neck.
3. A pre-ride checklist, that I have now would have given me a checklist to run through for me and for the horse. It would have made sure I saw the signs that the horse was in pain. I created it from this moment in time where I didn't pay attention to me or to the horse and it almost cost me my life.
Once I was on the horse, it was too late. I had 30 minutes to prevent the 30 seconds that crushed me. I learned a lot. I also learned how to get over my fear.
If you would like to learn my process for healing my fear, and getting my courage back, grab a copy of my best selling book, Rise from Fear to Courage!
