I was climbing down from the step stool in the rabbit area and just as I was stepping off, I panicked! My subconscious realized I would be stepping onto a snake. In the blink of an eye, my body was able to redirect my step to miss the snake. This triggered a number of thoughts for me.
1. My fear was subconscious. I didn't "think" there is a snake and jump, my body just did it and my mind caught up after the fact.
2. The fear was not in my mind. It turned out it was just a skin the snake had shed so I was not in real danger but my subconscious didn't know that.
3.. Fear doesn't take a vacation. I am not afraid of snakes, but I did jump at this to keep me safe. It happened on Thanksgiving day. My fear didn't take the day off for the holiday.
4.. Fear can take place anywhere, anytime. Fear doesn't care if you are sitting on the couch thinking about something that happened, or that it is really happening. Even now as I write about the snake I thought I saw, my heart rate and breathing rate go up. I am sitting on my couch.
Fear takes place in our subconscious first. It might be triggered by our thoughts, like me sitting on the couch writing this or it may be triggered by our senses but we don't think "I am going to be scared" and then be scared. Our subconscious takes over and keeps us safe, whether perceived, imaginary, or real fear.
This give us POWER. We get to choose to think about amazing, positive things so that at least the perceived and imaginary fear can leave us alone. We do have control of our mind and we can practice. Just like putting training wheels on a bicycle, we can practice courage and joy. We can change it around so that fear only takes place when it is actually keeping us safe. We don't want to ignore fear, but honor it, act if necessary, and move into courage and calm if we don't need to react.
Let's practice together!
1. Find a place to sit comfortably.
2.Think of the last thing that scared you that wasn't a big deal, just a little scare.
3. Observe your mind and body: Feel your breathing and your heart rate. Did they increase with the recall of the memory? Notice if how you feel changed. Did your anxiety increase?
4. Now, think about something calming for you or play some calming music.
5. Observe your mind and body as before.
6. Repeat until you can easily bring your feelings back to calm and courage. Then, you can increase the pressure from your memories or the "what if's" from the future.
7. Get really good and feeling the anxiety and fear, and calming back down.
If you would like to read my journey from fear to courage that is filled with ways to help you find your courage, grab my book now! CLICK HERE!
Hindsight is 20/20 right? Looking back over my horse accidents, I would say they were all preventable. I know that isn't the case with all horse accidents but in my case, all of them were preventable. Looking back at your accidents, are there things that if you had done them different, you would have had a different outcome.
Unexpected surprise: A great example is the horse in the Disney parade that gets a balloon wrapped around his hind leg and panics. This 100% could have been prevented. The handlers were checked out, just going through the motions of leading the horse, instead of keeping their eyes open and staying focused on the horse. If they had been aware, they would have seen the balloon. Even if they had not seen it, they could have refocused the horse and gotten the balloon off the leg.
What to do: Stay aware, don't check out. I love to play "I Spy" with my horse. This keeps me engaged and makes it fun.
Comfort zone: I competed in a 4' jumper class that was beyond me. I was so excited to be riding in the big ring, until I walked the course. The fences were HUGE. I knew I was not ready. My trainer told me to do it anyway. I froze. Jumping big fences is not the time to freeze. My wonderful horse did his job with a lump sitting on him. I fell off over one of those fences.
What to do: Don't let others push your out of your comfort zone. You decide when you want to move out of your comfort zone. It is like deciding to run and you run a mile. You get excited and run a marathon that weekend. Horse riding isn't any different. I love Warwick Schillers saying to play Donkey Kong. You go a bit, and then start over and go a little bit further, repeat.
Preparation: My big accident happened because I didn't have a pre-ride checklist. I know without a doubt if I had tuned into the horse while tacking him up, I would not have gotten on. He was in pain. He was tense. He had been bit by a black widow and I had no clue.
What to do: Develop your pre-ride checklist for you and your horse! It is different for everyone, but just like a pilot, going around and checking the plane. Check yourself, check your horse, check your tack.
Really think about any accidents you have had and see if you could have prevented it. They are not all preventable but a lot of them are. That gives us confidence! We know we can prevent the things that happen.
Here is a link to my pre-ride checklists if you would like a copy!
When I saw the horse flipping over on top of me, the feeling of falling and seeing that he was going to crush me, left me mentally in much worse shape than I was physically. The fear hung out with me like a dear friend. Like many of you, we have things happen that we cannot control, and the fear remains, long after the danger has passed.
Honor your fear or it will explode to get your attention.
This can be so hard to learn. We are taught to push down our fear, just buck up and do it, get on with it, and we end up feeling so alone in our fear. That feeling that nobody else understands. The hardest part is realizing that we can't just push that fear down. We can honor that fear, the precious fear that is just trying to keep us safe. It means well. It is doing its job. It doesn't know that we are no longer in danger and can make different decisions.
You might be wondering how. Here are my three tips for honoring your fear and returning to joy:
1. Really say thank you to your fear. Feel that it has helped you to stay safe. Take some time with this and let your feelings flow. If you enjoy journaling, put it down on paper. If you are like me and writing isn't your thing, close your eyes and just really breath into the fear, feel gratitude, feel yourself saying thank you.
2. When you start to feel the fear come up, practice amazing "What If's". There isn't anything that says we have to stay in negative what if's. We can pick and choose new ones, ones that fill us up with passion, desire, and joy!
3. Use tools. Whether it be checklists, breathing techniques, calming oils, CBD, preparation, music, or something else. Find out what works for you. Tools have such a bad stigma but really they can help us keep fear at bay and really let it know that we have this, we are good, and not in danger.
If you would like a little help on your "What if's", here is a short video on my thoughts and a little challenge! Click here.
I went 15 years without falling and then competing in a big jumper class, I fell off over a jump. I was talking to my young friend about it and she realized, the last time I had fallen was before she was born and we just paused, and really connected in that moment. We all have the chance of falling or having an accident of any kind, may not even involve horses.
Fortunately, horses have the remarkable ability to help us conquer this fear and unlock our true potential. Let's explore how horses enable us to overcome the fear of falling and discover a new level of self-confidence.
1. Building Trust and Connection:
Horses are known for their intuitive nature and ability to form strong bonds with humans. When working with horses, we learn that trust is the foundation of any successful relationship. Through patient and consistent interaction, we develop a deep sense of trust with these majestic creatures. This trust-building process helps us overcome our fear of falling, as it allows us to relinquish control and rely on the strength and stability of the horse.
2. Developing Balance and Coordination:
Riding a horse requires a certain degree of balance and coordination. As we navigate the challenges of riding, we not only physically learn how to stay centered and in control but also mentally build the confidence needed to face the fear of falling. Horses teach us to embrace our body's natural power and work together in harmony to maintain balance, thus empowering us to overcome the fear that restricts our growth. They also encourage us to improve our health to be better riders!
3. Enhancing Self-Awareness:
Horses possess an ability to mirror our emotions and behavior, providing immediate feedback on our actions. Through this awareness, we can address and work through these emotions, gradually building our self-confidence in the face of falling. Courage pennies is a great way to track this amazing process of gaining courage! Soak up pennies every time you feel confident and use a penny or two when you have fear creap in. It is just a good visual to help!
4. Learning to Trust One's Intuition:
Horse riders begin to tap into their intuitive senses—gut feelings and instinctive responses to different situations. Trusting our intuition is crucial for overcoming the fear of falling, especially using this before we get on. Making sure everything with us and our horse is just right. It enables us to make split-second decisions and respond effectively. As we become more attuned to our intuition, we gain a deep sense of self-trust and confidence, further bolstering our ability to manage the fear of falling.
If you haven't read my book on getting over fear, it is a great process that helps anyone facing fear, know what steps to take to find courage again! You can get it here: Rise from Fear to COURAGE!
We can get STUCK in memories of the past, replaying events over and over in our minds. While small amounts of reflection can be beneficial, dwelling on the past can prevent us from being fully present.
Just like driving a car, constantly looking in the rearview mirror can cause accidents and prevent us from enjoying the journey and reaching our desired destination.
So how do we break free from these mental cycles and focus on the present?
1. Acknowledge and accept:
The first step to freeing ourselves from the grip of the past is acknowledge that it cannot be changed. Similar to driving, it's essential to accept that whatever happened behind us no longer affects the present moment. Embrace the idea that the past has already served its purpose as a teacher, offering valuable insights and lessons.
2. Practice mindfulness:
Just as a driver must remain attentive to the road ahead, practicing mindfulness enables us to shift our focus to the present. Mindfulness involves consciously bringing our awareness to the current moment, free from judgment or attachment. By being fully present, we can appreciate the beauty of life and let go of repetitive thoughts about the past.
3. Release the emotional burden:
Like baggage in the trunk of a car, our emotional attachment to past events can weigh us down. To move forward, it's vital to release negative emotions tied to the past. One powerful technique is visualizing packing up the memories in a suitcase and setting them down on a train depot platform and get on the train, leaving the baggage behind.
4. Set clear intentions:
Having a clear focus on our present goals brings purpose and direction to our lives. Just as a driver sets a destination on their GPS, establishing clear intentions helps us navigate through life without getting stuck in the past. Write down your dreams, and the steps required to achieve them. This practice will cultivate a forward-thinking mindset and keep your focus anchored in the present moment.
5. Practice gratitude:
Gratitude is a transformative practice that helps us shift our perspective from what went wrong in the past to what is going right in the present. Every day, take a moment to reflect on things you are grateful for. Embracing gratitude allows positive emotions to flood your being, making it easier to let go of past grievances and embrace the abundance around you.
Just as driving requires our attention on the road ahead, living our lives to the fullest demands an unwavering focus on the present moment. By letting go of the past, practicing mindfulness, and setting clear intentions, we can liberate ourselves from the mental loops that hold us back. Remember, the journey of life is meant to be enjoyed, and I am here to support you, every step of the way. So, buckle up, embrace the present, and let your dreams drive you forward!
If you want a little help, grab my free Mindfulness guide here!
