As riders, we get pretty good at reading our horses. We notice the flick of an ear, the tightening of a muscle, or that quick intake of breath. We step in before fear escalates, giving our horse the reassurance and structure they need to feel safe.
But when it comes to our own fear? We tend to do the exact opposite. We ignore it, fight it, or push ourselves harder until it finally explodes—loud, messy, and usually at the worst possible time.
Here are three of the biggest mistakes riders make when battling fear—and the better way forward.
🐴 Mistake #1: Trying to ignore fear completely
We wouldn’t dream of ignoring a horse who’s anxious and jittery, so why do we expect ourselves to “just push through”? When fear is shoved down, it doesn’t disappear—it builds pressure until it bursts.
We wouldn’t dream of ignoring a horse who’s anxious and jittery, so why do we expect ourselves to “just push through”? When fear is shoved down, it doesn’t disappear—it builds pressure until it bursts.
The shift: Instead of silencing fear, acknowledge it. Treat it like you would your horse’s signals—valuable information about what’s going on. Naming it takes away its power. Use the information to find your calm before continuing.
🐴 Mistake #2: Comparing yourself to other riders
You’ve probably said it before: “She doesn’t get scared—why can’t I be like that?” But comparison is like throwing fuel on fear’s fire. Horses don’t all react the same way, and neither do people. Your fear doesn’t make you less of a rider—it makes you human.
You’ve probably said it before: “She doesn’t get scared—why can’t I be like that?” But comparison is like throwing fuel on fear’s fire. Horses don’t all react the same way, and neither do people. Your fear doesn’t make you less of a rider—it makes you human.
The shift: Focus on your own progress, not someone else’s timeline. Celebrate the quiet victories—mounting without hesitation, breathing deeply in the arena, taking one confident step at a time. Celebration instead of comparison will have your confidence filling up in no time.
🐴 Mistake #3: Jumping ahead too fast
Imagine asking a nervous horse to go from spooking at a leaf to calmly hacking down a busy road in one day. That would backfire, right? Yet we often demand the same of ourselves—rushing into situations we’re not ready for, then feeling crushed when it doesn’t go well.
Imagine asking a nervous horse to go from spooking at a leaf to calmly hacking down a busy road in one day. That would backfire, right? Yet we often demand the same of ourselves—rushing into situations we’re not ready for, then feeling crushed when it doesn’t go well.
The shift: Slow it down. Build layer upon layer of trust, just like you would with your horse. Small, consistent steps create confidence that lasts. Go just to the edge of your comfort zone and take one step, not 20.
Your horse needs patience, compassion, and structure when they’re afraid—and so do you. The next time fear whispers (or shouts), remember: you can choose to respond to yourself with the same care you give your horse. That’s where real confidence begins.
If you would like a little help building your confidence, schedule a Calm-Ride Strategy call and I can help you with planning your next few steps and accomplishing them.
I remember my first few rounds in the big Grand Prix field. I went in to the ring terrified. I had jumped the jumps at home, but in the big ring, they looked huge. Instead of taking a deep breath and reframing the fear to how much fun it was going to be compete in the big ring, a dream I had had for a long time, I froze in the saddle. I made it around the course the first two times and then the third was a wreck because I had become so stiff my horse was having to jump in spite of me.
As riders, we spend so much time learning to read our horses.
We know the flick of an ear, a swish of the tail, or a tight back can all mean, “Something isn’t right.” And we don’t wait until they’re blowing up to respond—we step in early, calm them, and guide them through it before things spiral.
But here’s the thing: most of us don’t give ourselves that same kind of care.
Instead of listening to our own subtle signals, we push past them. We shrug off the sweaty palms, the tight shoulders, the butterflies in our tummies, the nervous chatter in our heads. We tell ourselves, “Just get on with it.” And when we ignore those whispers? That’s when fear has no choice but to get louder—until it’s screaming at us in the middle of a ride.
Your fear isn’t trying to sabotage you. It’s trying to get your attention, just like your horse does when he’s bothered. The problem is, we only pay attention once it’s escalated.
What if you treated yourself like you do your horse?
That means:
- Noticing the first signs of unease (your whispers).
- Acknowledging them instead of bulldozing past.
- Reframing those triggers into something constructive. - Just like we would do with our horse.
Example: instead of “I can’t do this, I’m going to mess up,” reframe it as “This is me stretching my comfort zone, and that means growth.” Then practice that new thought the same way you’d practice a transition—calm, clear, and consistent.
Your horse learns trust and confidence when you step in early and guide him through the little things. You can build the same trust with yourself. Catch the whispers before they become shouts, and your fear doesn’t have to run the show.
Because here’s the truth: you and your horse both deserve that level of attention.
Want to feel like you’re getting coached by me—in your own place to recognize the whispers and change them?
The Confidence Blueprint is like having me in your corner—guiding you through 9 simple, powerful principles to rebuild your confidence from the inside out.
This isn’t fluff. It’s a framework I use with my private clients—and you can start today.
All for just $17—for a limited time.
It’s more than a PDF. It’s a private workshop in your back pocket.
If you’ve been following the blog, you might have noticed I have been covering a lot of different topics — sometimes a little random, sometimes all over the place. And while it’s all valuable, I kept thinking… how can I make this even more helpful for you?
The answer? A step-by-step journey.
Starting in September, each month we’re focusing on a single theme — a topic riders have been asking for help with — so you can really build your skills and confidence over time. No more hopping around from idea to idea. We’re creating a path forward, one month at a time.
Our first stop? Emotions.
Riding isn’t just physical; it’s deeply emotional. Anxiety, fear, excitement, frustration — all of these show up in the saddle and in life. And when you learn how to understand and manage them, everything changes. This month, we’ll dive into how your emotions show up, what they mean, and how to work with them instead of against them.
Each month after that, we’ll tackle another key area based on what riders like you need most. You’ll see the journey unfold, giving you a clear, practical roadmap for building confidence, reducing fear, and actually enjoying the ride.
And here’s something to get you started right away: your courage doesn’t have to wait. Download the free The Ultimate Guide to Courage Pennies eBook for practical tips on turning small actions into big confidence — in the saddle and beyond.
A monthly focus, real-world tools, and step-by-step growth — all designed to take you from fear to freedom, one ride at a time.
If you want, I can also draft a super-short social media teaser that points people to this blog and makes them excited to grab the eBook too. Do you want me to do that next?
When fear or anxiety has been running the show in your riding, it can feel like there’s no room left for joy, freedom, or courage. Every ride becomes a battle with patterns you don’t want, and your body reacts as if danger is always around the corner.
That’s why clearing out fear is only half the story. Unless that space is intentionally filled with something new, old doubts and habits have a sneaky way of creeping back in.
Think of it like cleaning out your tack room. If you just drag everything back in without a plan, the same clutter takes over again. NLP and hypnotherapy do the heavy lifting — clearing the mess, removing the fear, and breaking those subconscious loops. But it’s coaching that keeps the reset in place. Coaching helps you organize the space with intention, giving confidence a place to live so it doesn’t get buried under old chaos again.
And here’s the part most riders miss: coaching isn’t about “fixing” what’s broken — the reset has already handled that. Coaching is about building forward. It gives your conscious mind the tools to choose courage, practice new responses, and fill that open space with strength instead of slipping back into fear.
That’s the Complete Rider Reset. NLP and hypnotherapy clear the clutter. Coaching organizes and fills the space with confidence. Together, they create a calm mind, a steady body, and a future where you know exactly how to ride with courage — every single time you swing into the saddle.
Ready to take the next step?
Book your free Calm-Ride Strategy Call and let’s map out your path to riding with confidence again. We’ll tidy up those fear-filled “tack rooms” in your mind, put the bridles and saddles of confidence back in their place, and make sure no rogue stirrups of doubt are left behind.
Book your free Calm-Ride Strategy Call and let’s map out your path to riding with confidence again. We’ll tidy up those fear-filled “tack rooms” in your mind, put the bridles and saddles of confidence back in their place, and make sure no rogue stirrups of doubt are left behind.
When anxiety hits, it feels like your body is hijacked. Your stomach flips, your chest tightens, your thoughts start racing — and all you want is relief right now. If you’re a rider, those feelings can show up at the barn, on the mounting block, or even just thinking about getting on your horse.
So, what actually helps with anxiety immediately?
The good news is, there are simple tools you can use anywhere, anytime to calm your body and mind. Here are three of my favorites:
1. Name Five Things....
This helps you STOP, look around, breath, and really see what is around you, no matter the situation. It’s a quick way to retrain your brain and body. As you look around at things to name, your nervous system begins to respond to you instead of running wild. Within minutes, you feel more in control and grounded.
This helps you STOP, look around, breath, and really see what is around you, no matter the situation. It’s a quick way to retrain your brain and body. As you look around at things to name, your nervous system begins to respond to you instead of running wild. Within minutes, you feel more in control and grounded.
2. Alphabet Game
Start at A and think of something that starts with A, Apple. Then move to B, Banana. Etc. What this does is it distracts your brain from triggering the anxiety and it acts as an interrupt. When you are feeling calm again, then go back to what you were doing that caused the anxiety. If it happens again, pick up where you left off in the alphabet and then you can just repeat if you need a little more. You can also find things you see that start with each letter.
3. Rock It Out (Your Body Remembers Safety)
Think about how babies are soothed — they’re rocked. That same rhythm works for you, too. Whether you gently sway side to side, shift your weight in your chair, or even let your horse’s walk carry you, rocking helps calm your nervous system. It’s like pressing “reset” on your body’s stress response. Within moments, you’ll feel more grounded and supported, ready to carry on with confidence.
Think about how babies are soothed — they’re rocked. That same rhythm works for you, too. Whether you gently sway side to side, shift your weight in your chair, or even let your horse’s walk carry you, rocking helps calm your nervous system. It’s like pressing “reset” on your body’s stress response. Within moments, you’ll feel more grounded and supported, ready to carry on with confidence.
Anxiety doesn’t vanish forever in one moment. But these tools can help you shift your state immediately so that you don’t spiral into full panic mode. And the more often you practice them, the faster your confidence grows — both in and out of the saddle.
If you’ve been struggling with riding anxiety, know this: you’re not broken, and you don’t have to just “push through.” With the right tools, you can calm your nerves in minutes and start enjoying your horse again.
Want more step-by-step support? That’s exactly what I cover in my Confidence Blueprint. This is a complete workshop in an ebook that you can get here! For a limited time, it is only $17 and will take you through a full Confidence building workshop.
