That feeling of stress, the sweaty palms, the fast breathing, it comes from going back into the past in our minds, feeling the things that happened. Those feelings bring more thoughts, like magnets, and the spiral heads right down into anxiety and panic attacks. Have you ever asked yourself why you keep replaying memories in your head?
For me, there are three reasons I keep that memory wheel running in my head, and what I do to fix each one.
1. I am not being mindful of the present moment. This is a big one for me. I love just being, right here, right now. It takes practice. When I realize I am back replaying the memory movie, I can snap myself back into the present moment. It is a lot easier if you practice this when not being in that swamp of nasty memories. (Click here for my free 7 days to Mindfulness guide)
2. There is a trigger to the memory. This one happens when I see a horse rear or start to rear. It puts me right back in that moment of fear. This is a great one to fix, when you are sitting on the couch and all nice and relaxed. Reset the trigger. Google search horseback riding and look at images of great rides. Feel how good that feels and really set that feeling. I use an anchor too. I take a really good smelling essential oil, my favorites for this are Stress Away or Joy, and smell them while I am feeling how an amazing ride would feel. It can also be closing your eyes and remember amazing rides you have had. They key is to really put yourself in that moment and anchor it. Then think about the trigger, a horse rearing in my example, and see it getting smaller and smaller. See that trigger just disappearing. Go right back to the feeling of the amazing ride, smell the essential oils, feel that amazing feeling. Repeat this 5 - 10 times. You will notice your trigger isn't so much a trigger anymore.
3. I play the "What if" game. What if my horse lifts its head. What if my horse starts to rear. What if, what if, what if. This is another one that is fun to do while relaxing on your couch, at least at first. Pick better "what if's"! What if you have the best ride ever? What if it is a beautiful day and you just feel the rhythm with your horses footfall. What if you and your horse have an amazing adventure. See how many you can come up with. Write them down. Keep adding to the list. Read the list, over and over. Practice your what ifs. As you go to the barn, practice your what ifs!
Looking back through your life can lead to regrets, to joy, to fear, to so many feelings all over the spectrum. This is where some people live their life. With horses, it might be trauma they suffered, like my mare, Taika, that flipped in the starting gate and fractured her skull, or Binky, who was trapped in a barn with the roof blown off through hurricanes Irma and Maria. It might be us living our life based on a horse accident and letting that dictate how we feel about riding horses now, even if the accident was years ago.
There are also those that are stuck in the "what if" mode. What if I get hurt, fall off, have a horse run away with me? For the horses, they are always looking for what might kill them. The plastic bag, the whip, the saddle that doesn't fit right. These feeling of what if can cause extreme tension and bracing in us and our horses.
Mindfulness is being present, in this moment, here and now. It is letting go of the feelings that come up from things in our past and it is looking at what is going on right now instead of the what if's that might be coming. The amazing thing about mindfulness is that it can be learned. Mindfulness is beneficial around our horses and even just in our daily lives.
What is mindfulness in daily life? I was making my breakfast smoothie the other day and thinking about riding that afternoon instead of being present to what I was doing with my breakfast. I had a feeling of stop, something isn't right, but I just kept right on thinking of riding and pouring cinnamon in my drink, ignoring that feeling to stop. When I looked down, I had the garlic powder. I can say that garlic powder is not as yummy in my morning drink as cinnamon. This really shook me up. Something so simple but so powerful. I drank my morning drink while I cringed from the strong taste, but it was a good reminder to be mindful in the moment.
I first heard about mindfulness at a silent retreat I went to, and they promoted being mindful for the 5 days we were there. They talked about eating mindfully. Tasting the food, feeling the texture, picturing the journey the food took to become the morsal in my mouth. They talked about walking mindfully. Feeling the earth beneath the feet. They talked about smelling the morning air and all the flora that was around. They encouraged us to feel the breeze, the sun, the weather.
The wonderful thing about being mindful is that you can't be in a state of worry (looking into the future), and you can't be depressed (looking into your past) while you are in the present moment. With horses, it is so much more than that. It is about truly "BEING" with the horse, in each and every moment. It really does help fear melt away.
If you would like to learn about mindfulness in 7 days of exercises, please click here!
